Terri’s Story

Like so many others I don’t remember when my story began. I have always wanted to wear female clothing. When I was very young, I remember I would try on my two sister’s underwear whenever I got the chance (I have a sister several years older than me and one younger). At that time, it had nothing to do with sex; I just liked the feeling of wearing the silky underwear.

I was not a feminine kid growing up, in fact, just the opposite! I was totally male and enjoyed being a male. The thought of being a girl never crossed my mind (even now, I don’t think about becoming a girl). I liked doing all the things that normal boys do in their adolescent and though not a jock, I played hard and physical with the other guys.

As I got older and went to junior high, high school and finally college, my dressing in female underwear was just casual, no regular thing. Opportunities were infrequent and I did not have the “overwhelming” drive that I now have. When I did do it, I couldn’t understand why, but knew that I enjoyed it immensely.

I met a local girl in college and eventually married her in my junior year. We had a good life together although we struggled (as probably most students do) with the money situation. Our sex life was quite normal, whatever that means, with the usual experimentation with various games and fantasies but I never told her about my desire to occasionally wear feminine her underwear.

It just never seemed very important and I was quite concerned about how she would handle it.

After graduating, my job required that we moved to another area of the country. I was very busy with the new job, working a lot of long hours. This, plus the fact that we had two small children, gave very little time when I could be alone and try on my wife’s underwear. By this time, it had become a very sexual thing. Even though I had a good sex life with my wife, I would still frequently masturbate while wearing her underwear. It just felt right!

At one point when we were getting ready to have sex, I don’t remember how it happened my wife put me in a pair of her panties. I was so turned on by it, standing there in front of her with a tremendous erection! Sex was wonderful for both of us that night and we made it a regular part of our lovemaking (to spice things up).

This went on for quite some time, and eventually, I began wearing panties all day long on a regular basis. My wife and I would shop together for underwear for me, and she seemed to enjoy it as much I did. It was always such a turn on, that I could hardly wait to get home and try it on. And of course, great sex followed.

At this time I was beginning to have thoughts about wearing more than just woman’s panties. I wanted to try on a lacy bra, nylon stockings, a satin dress and everything else that women wear but knew instinctively that my wife would never go for it. Why is it that women can wear all the men’s clothing they want and nobody blinks an eye?

I never did tell her about my secret desires; I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It was much too much of a risk so I just continued to wear panties most of the time (this seemed to be acceptable to her and it was our secret).

It was at this time that I began trying on her clothes when I was home alone. I liked to walk around the house in nylons and a dress (and of course all the required underwear) and feel the fabrics sway and rub against my skin. I tried to walk and sit like a woman and to mimic their mannerisms. I never got caught but came close several times, and of course, I would swear off forever until the next time. It always made me feel so good! I wanted to buy myself a wardrobe of my own clothes but had no where to hide them and could not bring myself to shop for them alone since we lived in a very small area.



I began traveling a lot and started visiting women’s stores in my free time while I was away. I was an unknown, so there would never be any repercussions with people I knew. These were very inexpensive stores where I could buy clothes for just a few night’s use and then discard them before flying home. It was something that I wanted and needed to do but I was somewhat disappointed with my appearance! I did not have the right curves to fill the clothes properly and so I began using some padding here and there. I got quite good at it and would walk around the hotels in drag with pretty good success. At about this time I started to develop an urge to have breast. I began to really envy women’s bodies and especially their breast.

For a number of reasons which I won’t go into here (it had nothing to do with my crossdressing), my wife and I divorced after 14 years.

Life changed dramatically although I continued to crossdress whenever I got the chance. I began to buy for myself and now had a small stash, locked up of course, of silky dainty things. It was not possible to have dresses and the like around since my children lived with me and my mother and father were now living with me to help with the kids.

After a couple of years I met another woman who I love dearly. Somewhere along the line we introduced panties (for me) into our life and it continues to this day. She helps me pick them out and likes it when I wear them to bed but that’s as far as it has gone.

She does not know about my little stash but I would love to tell and share it with her. As always, I continue to crossdress whenever I get the chance and love to look at myself in the mirror. My urge to have breast has continued and gotten stronger.

Recently, I came across a web site (www.transformation.co.uk) that sold Oestrogen creams. Now, in the last ten years, I have put on some weight and felt that I could possibly grow breasts (small ones) without the love of my life really knowing what I was doing (just some extra weight, not all that unusual).

The urge (need, requirement, whatever) has grown much stronger as I’ve gotten older, so I ordered some. The cream arrived within days and I was terribly excited when it arrived and started using it immediately!

My breasts have started to grow in now (a small B cup) and I love them! I like the new tenderness of both my breast and the nipples and the feel of them when they brush against my lower arm during eating or whatever. I don’t know when I’ll stop using the cream, but if my breast get much bigger, I’m sure that she will start to suspect something. Maybe I really want that to happen,
I don’t know but I’m not ready to tell her anything and don’t know if I ever will.

I do wish that I could involve her in this side of me since she is such a big part of the rest of my life (we have been together for almost 20 years now). It would be wonderful to be my feminine self with her around but I don’t think that she would accept that.

The panties, are just a small thing that I believe she feels was her idea and has somewhat of an ownership in. I don’t think that everything else concerning my feminine side that I hide from her would fly.

I like to think that our life together would continue if she found out, but I do not know this for sure and I’m not willing to risk it. This is my status now; middle aged, growing breast and still nobody to share it with. Maybe things will change someday, but I doubt it.


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