Advice how why you are a transvestite, transsexual, transgender, transwoman. Help and advice from Transformation
You only have to walk down the local high street to realise that not all women take the same degree of pleasure in wearing feminine clothes as others.
So it is that not all mothers will introduce their children to their allure, and again not all children are going to be susceptible to the allure of clothes. This in turn can mean that not all wives or partners will have the same feelings for clothes as our own mothers and may, indeed, have less interest in them than we have.
It has been noted by some authorities that a proportion of TVs have an above average sex drive. Moreover many of our ideas about sex and love start in our earliest years and the relationships of that time. Consequently a young man with a strong sex drive – which is probably something we are born with – when combined with a powerful and glamorous mother figure, may well link the process of making love with the sort of glamour that he saw in his youth.
Later, in his married life he may look for the same sort of glamour in his partner and if he finds it, will probably be unaware of the underlying need for it.
Unfortunately not all couples share the same level of sex drive or interest in the physical expression of their love. If this is the case and the man is disappointed in this part of his life, subconscious urges may push him to find glamour and even sexual release by creating it around his own person.
The glamourisation of oneself can be quite simply done by wearing distinctive clothes, or adopting a personal style of dress that satisfies ones idea about oneself. Interestingly, changes like these may help to bridge the gap in the relationship and create a masculine figure that the partner finds more attractive and hence more acceptable as a lover. When this is not the case the sex drive may lead to a search for other female company either for the occasional fling, or for a permanent change.
The fling can be enjoyed with another woman, in the form of an affair or one-night-stand in which there is grave danger of causing hurt to the other party or to oneself.
It would not be a conscious decision to turn to feminine things but more likely the result of frustration from a lack of sexual outlets that leads to the classic moments of early TV discovery.
The seconds spent lingering over the wife’s clothes when she is not around soon develop to a snatched moment donning a dress or some undies while she is out. At any point the level of satisfaction may prove to be adequate and the process to full trasvestism can stop, equally the relationship may improve so that the frustration goes away and the sex drive finds a more usual outlet.
There comes a point for many who cross-dress when the urge to do so becomes important in itself and leads to the next major step – the possesion of ones own wardrobe. This may start in a clandestine manner with the purchase of some special items which are enjoyed and then thrown away, but soon this is not enough and more complete adventures may be tried.
A night away on business gives one the chance to spend several hours dressed in the hotel room and afterwards the garments may find a home in some hiding place in the car or the attic.
I have heard of TVs who have had an entire wardrobe in the attic under the pretext of having a model railway up there. This is fine and allows many hours of cross-dressing right in the heart of the home, but surely discovery is also inevitable? But that’s another story.
What I have described here is a route that frequently leads to the TV way of life, but many would be able to put in different details that round out the story in their own case, and many have only the need to go some of the way to feel an acceptable level of contentment.
For some, the joy of wearing feminine clothes is enough in itself and it doesn’t worry them if a beautiful wedding gown, for instance, is set below the sight of a scruffy beard. For others the frequency of episodes of cross-dressing can be low, perhaps just once or twice a year, and the manner of it can vary from the outrageous caricature of femininity to the well known cliches of schoolgirl, tart or nurse.
These may all relate back to images from youth, close friends in primary school perhaps, or a hauntingly romantic but brief encounter with some one who was clearly a whore at heart.
They provide the satisfaction that is good for the particular individual and at each stage the process towards further changes may stop, frustration satisfied, or the price of carrying on to high.
The image of self may be too upsetting because we are not necessarily proud of our secondary personae. Alternatively the challenge to our family life is too great – it’s ironic really because cross-dressing may have its origins in an attempt to find a compromise for one’s sex drive without placing family at risk.
Another critical point in development may soon crop up; the wish to create a truly womanly image of oneself. It may start as dissatisfaction with what has been achieved so far. A bra stuffed with tissue, or a pair of stockings, soon seems a poor alternative when compared with the almost natural feel of prosthetic breasts or the possibility of growing ones own with hormone creams or pills.
To feel for the first time the weight of prosthetic breasts moving as a part of ones body is an unbelievable thrill. To wear an entire ensemble with frothy petticoats, undies, high heels and a pretty frock can open the door to more possibilities, although again there is a price to pay, and there is a risk that such exhibitionism can be damaging to ones social standing.
It is a lucky cross-dresser who has a partner who can be happy with his personal passion. Too often the drive to dress can also lead to a move to live alone. In some ways that is very sad, for there are not many of us who really enjoy being alone, but then under these conditions loneliness can give way to spending much more with one’s alter ego.
Of course if the step to live alone has been taken, then another series of vista open up. It may be possible to consider living full time dressed as a women, either in the outside world, within the confines of the house or only at times when one is unlikely to be disturbed.
There is also the chance to live with someone who is like-minded or accepting a man who wishes to be seen as a women. In this situation the experiences of ones childhood that sowed the seeds seem far away.
The warmth of the mother’s love may be in the subconscious; the sneaky masturbation that accompanied early essays at donning female garments will be just an embarrassing memory, for now the joy of feeling and looking feminine and beautiful will have become a reason in itself.
At this stage one turns away from the extremes of exhibitionist garments, the bulky petticoats, the extravagent skirts and blouses, and wears the more truly feminine clothes that you see on other women.
Where, then has the man gone? Is he totally rejected? Certainly he is in most cases, but in others he may be still be someone on the outside looking in and getting pleasure from creating the woman he also is, knowing himself to be a man but loving the woman. Possibly a man only at his workplace, for all other times, his glamourous alter ego.
And so what started as some expression of a Freudian sexual need, established when a child, becomes in its most advanced form an art that becomes a completely satisfying lifesyle in itself.
Many of us have set off along this path. At any time we may realise that we have reached some specific point along it. We may know that this is enough for us and decide to be content as we are, but on the other hand we may decide to continue further.
Some readers will only identify with a few of the stages listed here, others will recognise much of their own experience. The lesson to learn from it is to understand what pressures lie behind your passion, to respect it and to accept it, but at the same time be considerate of those around you. They should not be troubled or offended by what can be a bizarre type of behaviour for those that don’t understand it.