Lipstick
By Catherine D'Oreal
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The colours are lovely, but the names of theses lipstick shades strike me as being a little dull. Of all the shades which have passed through my fingers, I think that my favourite name was 'Hearts Afire'. If I recall correctly, it was a Max Factor one. The name was enought to banish all doubt that this was a lipstick - there is no 'Hearts Afire' in the Dulux range!
I don't know whether the the names of the shades are, in general, becoming more dull - or whether it's just the ones I've been buying. Either way, I look forward to them perking up...
I always look forward to applying my lipstick, and enjoy prolonging that pleasurable anticipation. When I was a child, I liked to leave the best bit of my dinner to last. It was the same with a packet of fruit gums - I ended up with a pocketful of fluff-coated black ones. I'm still much the same, at least when it comes to getting ready, that is: I now eat my dinner in a more sensible way, and haven't had a fruit gum for years!
I have a regular routine for my process of feminisation. I enjoy it all, but some parts are inevitably better than others. First of all comes foundation, then powder, blusher, and eye makeup. With almost all of my makeup on, I dress, then put on my shoes. The wig is almost the last item, an important moment - inspecting myself in the mirror, nearly ready. Finally, the crowning stage, and in many ways the best of all - lipstick.
Like any pleasure, putting on my lipstick is not to be rushed. I apply it slowly, lovingly. I roll my lower lip over the upper one, then contemplate my reflection. I apply a little more lipstick... the process can last for quite a long time. Why hurry when I'm enjoying myself?
Sometimes I use a lip brush - I have a retractable one which is a very satisfying little gizmo. Once I have finished putting on the lipstick in the usual way, I work round the outline of my lips with the brush. It extends the process a little bit further, makes it last a little but longer, and adds to the enjoyment.
Of course, it wasn't always like that. While I have been attracted to, even fascinated by, lipstick since my early teens, I was well into my twenties before I applied it to my lips. In spite of my writing: 'Why hurry when I'm enjoying myself?' - there are limits. My lack of hurry in first sampling the delights of lipstick now seems crazy.
Perhaps I was (at least a little bit) crazy when I was a teenager... I handled my sister's lipsticks, removed their tops, slid the lipstick itself out of the tube and then back in again. I would have loved to apply it to my lips, but it would be years before I found the courage to do so.
A large part of the problem, I think, was that I didn't know how one went about removing it. Putting on my sister's clothes was one thing, I had a fairly good idea of how they would come off again. If anyone came home unexpectedly, undressing might be a rushed process - but I felt confident I could manage it. But how did girls remove their lipstick? Would washing remove it entirely? Did it require some make-up removal product? If so, which? My sister had a selection of liquids and creams, of whose function I was unsure.
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