The Bra
By Sally Watkinson
The idea of a padded bra had been placed in my mind. What I used were things from my sister's undies drawer - usually knickers. I rather over-did it. Not content with filling the bra cups, I inserterd several more pairs than they could hold. My reasoning was 'the bigger the better' - common enough thinking amongst transvestites, but not a view I still hold.
In some ways, I was pleased with the effect of the knicker padded bra. In other ways, I remained doubtful about it. My doubts centred around taking measures which, I felt, a real girl would not. In a sense, it made me feel less girlish. On the other hand, it had a gratifying effect on my reflection in the mirror - especially when I wore something with a bit of stretch.
During the years as a closet transvestite, the stretchiness of my sister's - and then my own - tops was probably the decisive factor in whether or not I chose to pad the bra. if it was stretchy I used padding, if it wasn't I didn't bother. As a variant on using undies to fill my bra, I also tried cotton wool. Eventually my choice fell on camisoles - I found that a neatly folded camisole was about the right size for filling a bra cup, without over-filling it. Moreover, two camisoles formed two equal sized breasts - collections of knickers proved difficult to keep even sized.
I recall, long after my teens, cross-dressing for my future wife. "You're wearing a bra!"she said with obvious surprise in her voice. I was surprised by her surprise. Of course I was wearing a bra - it was an inevitable part of dressing as a woman. I hadn't attempted to pad it partly because the dress I was wearing wasn't of a stretch fabric. It was also partly because having the padding fall out as she undressed me would only emphasise my flat chesteness, and detract from the experience.
It was only when I started to expose my feminine side to the public gaze - in clubs - that padding my bra became a matter of course. Belatedly, I became aware that, without my padding, my clothes didn't hang properly. With this awareness, my bras took on a fresh significance. I was still using two camisoles as breasts, and there was no way to hold them in position without a bra. Increasingly, I became aware of the shortcomings of the camisole in that role.
Not before time, I bought a pair of cheap boobs. I suppose I could have glued these into place, but I never did so. One advantage of using a bra, rather than glue, was that it ensured that the boobs were correctly placed. It's unexpectedly difficult to figure precisely where the breasts should be. Another reason is that, from the start, I've liked bras, enjoyed wearing them - and still don't feel properly dressed without one.
At last I gave up on the boobs and invested in a proper pair of prosthetic breasts. It was a step I've never regretted - except to regret that I didn't buy a pair years before.
The prosthetic breasts have changed the sensation of wearing a bra. They are the correct weight - which means that they weigh heavily in the cups. The heavy cups tug on the bra straps in a way in which the boobs - and lighter forms of padding - never did. It's a wonderful feeling.
Over the years my love affair with the bra has seen many changes. The older I grow, the more I love my bras. This is no mere infatuation, it's the real thing.
Related categories: Crossdressing Desires
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