Will They Still Love Me After I Tell Them?

This is a guide to coming out to a partner, family, siblings, or friends. It is adapted from a workshop that I do at events and group meetings. It is usually interactive, but I think it translates fairly well to the web. I hope you find some help here.

By JoAnn Roberts

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What Reactions Can You Expect?

I don't know of any marriage that ended because crossdressing was the single issue. Usually there are many problems in a relationship and the crossdressing just pushes it over the edge. If you have a good, loving, respectful relationship with your partner and family, they will try to understand you and your needs.

Acceptance: Sometimes family will express complete and total acceptance of crossdressing behavior. This may be due to a knowledge gained from a past personal experience, or because of a sincere belief that all people should be entitled to express themselves in any non-destructive manner. A family of this type may realize that many of the good qualities about the crossdresser are due to their transgendered nature.

Some may families react mildly to the need to crossdress, recognizing that the behavior is unusual but generally harmless, if managed properly. Initial acceptance or at least a willingness to learn and understand is often misinterpreted by the transvestite as total acceptance. At the opposite end of the response scale, the family unequivocally cannot accept the crossdressing behavior. Telling lies and keeping secrets from family and friends is too high a price to ask from some people.

In response to this burden, a family may try to coerce the crossdresser to give it up with a threat of separation or even public exposure. Despite their best intentions, transvestites cannot "Just Say No" to crossdressing. A complete rejection can and will eventually dissolve the relationship, unless both parties work toward a compromise.

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