Will They Still Love Me After I Tell Them?

This is a guide to coming out to a partner, family, siblings, or friends. It is adapted from a workshop that I do at events and group meetings. It is usually interactive, but I think it translates fairly well to the web. I hope you find some help here.

By JoAnn Roberts

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Why Should I Tell?

Guilt. If you have not achieved self-acceptance you may carry a great burden of guilt for a variety of reasons. You may feel badly about keeping a secret from your partner or family. It's lying by omission. So, you may decide to tell to alleviate feelings of guilt.

Self-Image. At the personal level, you may have very a poor self-image, low self-esteem. These feelings may come from "messages" sent by a partner or family members that you (as a TV) are "bad" or "unworthy" of love. So, you may decide to tell to help your self-esteem.

Isolation. At one time or another, you probably thought you were the only person in the world who crossdressed. You may still have immense feelings of loneliness and desperation. So, you may tell because you want to end the isolation.

Freedom. Let's say you've found a local support group, but since your family doesn't know about your activities, you are not free to explore your gender issues. So, you may want to tell so you can have more freedom to explore and express yourself. Or, believe it or not, many times a CD will come to the end of a business career and find he's faced with the prospect of being home with his partner all the time. No more business trips! No more freedom. So, you may decide to tell in order to retain your freedom to dress.

Accidental Discovery. Perhaps your family has accidentally discovered your crossdressing and they're making all sort of wild assumptions. So, you may have to tell in order to do some damage control, correct misinformation, and calm many fears.

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