Dominatrix

Shiny black leather. Spike-heeled, knee high boots. Short tight skirt. Gloves and sleeveless tunic. The bare arms from elbow to shoulder look effective, they mirror the expanse of leg between the boots and hemline.

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For lovers of rubber and leather alike, high stiletto heels are pretty well essential for both the submissive party and the dominatrix. They are suitable for the submissive, perhaps, because they make it more difficult to walk - and much more difficult to run. They may possibly be seen as dominant because of their suitability as weapons. Having a stiletto pressed hard into the flesh is an extremely painful experience.

Turning to leather, the items worn by submissives are more likely to consist of straps (like harnesses) than are the garments worn by the dominatrix, but arrangements of leather straps can feature in the clothing of the dominatrix as well. In her case, they are likely to leave less of the body uncovered. This is probably the main distinction on a superficial level.

Sometimes, similar straps have entirely different purposes. For example, the submissive may have leather straps at the wrist for use in binding or fettering, or for support when using the whip.

Indeed, these are very useful - cracking the whip can put a lot of strain on the wrist joint. Similar supports are worn by tennis players, archers, and others. It's a question of avoiding sports injuries.

In all of this, the whip is bound to arise (and fall). A means of hurting your partner is an essential part of the experience. The submissive must surrender to the dominatrix. If that surrender doesn't include the power to inflict a little pain, it doesn't mean very much.

Actually, a lot of so-called submission doesn't mean a great deal. Many who call themselves submissives, not least transvestites, want to lay down all sorts of conditions. The more conditions they make, the less they submit. It can easily become a waste of time for all concerned.

Whether they realise it or not, laying down conditions makes the experience less satisfactory for the submissive partner as well as for the dominant. There is some point in having an emergency signal which will enable the submissive to bring the session to a close - it can be used to stop things getting out of hand, but the signal should only be given in the most extreme circumstances.

The essence of submission is letting go. Someone else takes charge. The submissive can, in a real sense, relax. It may be painful relaxation, but is none the less relaxing for that.

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