Dominatrix
Submissive
Viewed thus, it is little wonder that there are more people eager to submit than dominate. It should also be clear that any effort to take charge (on the part of the submissive) defeats the object of the exercise. Yet they will try to control the situation. They deserve a good whipping - or perhaps they'll have to do better before they truly deserve one.
Near, the start I mentioned both the whips and the handcuffs. The latter, or any form of tying or chaining, can be a big help in allowing a submissive to let go. Hands cuffed behind the back is not a good position for laying down conditions. Being held securely at each wrist and ankle is even less good for it.
Binding is very useful in a submissive's progress, but it requires trust. Indeed, the trust in one's dominatrix is in itself a liberating experience. But that trust is not to be gained instantly.
It is easiest to take things a step at a time. It's better to start with tying rather than chaining or handcuffing. However difficult it may be to cut through stout cord (especially with hands tied) it looks a lot less threatening than with a chain.
Better also, to start with the hands tied in front, rather than behind the back. This leaves the submissive feeling less helpless - and with some justification. Likewise, it is a good idea to have the submissive become accustomed to bound wrists before passing on to binding the ankles as well - or to binding to a fixed or heavy object.
I knew a girl who wouldn't take on the role of dominatrix because she thought the submissive was really in charge - and the dominatrix was serving the submissive rather than vice versa. Badly handled, things can work out that way. The submissive requires careful training - for benefits of both partners.
It is also a good idea to set the submissive to some useful work. Obviously, this can't be done during periods of highly restrictive binding - but work can be done, for example, with hands cuffed and attached to a wall by a few yards of chain. It is good to have someone else attend to the chores. Also - it helps to establish who is slave and who is mistress.
Sensitivity
This distinction may not be as clear and obvious as one might expect. In some sub / dom relationships the partners swap roles from time to time. They may even adopt a roughly 50 / 50 division of the submitting and dominating.
Moreover, even when the roles are distinct, it is a truism that one cannot dominate properly until one has learnt to submit. The role of dominatrix calls for a great deal of sensitivity - it's certainly not just a matter of tying them up and whipping them.
It needs to be stated that truly fulfilling sub / dom is essentially a loving relationship. Failure to realise this leaves many sub / dom experiences deeply unsatisfying. The dominatrix must give - and understand what she is giving; the submissive must trust completely - and surrender utterly.
The dominatrix's pleasure - and skill - depends on knowing how it feels to be tied, helpless, in that position. In knowing how the caress of the lash feels - now gentle, almost tickling; now severe, most definitely painful.
Submission and domination is a shared experience. A shared pleasure. To work properly it is love.
Most couples do it, anyway. It is part of love's game to use the teeth. Sometimes gently. Sometimes biting hard.
The use of whips and chains takes that experience a stage further, a stage closer to the ultimate love. However hard I strike, I do it with love.
Love and my spike heeled boots - painful combination. But what could be more exquisite?
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