The Admirable Transvestite
By JT Brien
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When being an adult male is depressing it is pleasant to pretend that you are a little girl and do not have to grow up to be a man. So it was that the Americans expected to be believed when they claimed that after the bombing of Tripoli, Colonel Gadaffi spent his time sitting in his tent dressed as a woman.
So you see that some men dress to escape hostile reality and return to the security they felt in infancy, and this goes well with that attitude of dependancy. It also protects their self-esteem as men, if they can pretend to themselves that the desire is not of their making. These men like to wear clothes that remind them of the women they loved when they were young, so it is not surprising that they end up looking like their mothers...
Quite a few men have started dressing late in life following the loss of a much-loved female relative. In these cases it is quite obvious that their dressing is an attempt to fill the gap in their lives that the loss caused. The fact that, perhaps for the first time in their lives, they are alone with clothes that bring back memories of previous happiness, may make the temptation to dress irresistible.
Of all the retreats from a hostile world that a man can make, dressing is one of the most satisfying. Any form of hobby or relaxation is pursued not only for its own sake but for the feeling it gives of "getting out of oneself", leaving behind the worries of the mundane world. The transvestite can do that almost literally, for by "becoming a woman" he leaves behind for a while the burdens he had to bear as a man - as long as he is a "woman" they no longer matter.
The trouble is that this will only work in public with people who accept him in his self-created role. To be dressed in the presence of someone who still sees you as the man you normally are removes all point from the exercise. This knowledge that the people who know you best as a man will find it hardest to accept you as a woman is a major factor in the secrecy that surrounds dressing.
Other men dress for more frankly sexual reasons. The women they portray is not a respectable mother figure but a fantasy mistress. The catalogues that cater for transvestites illustrate the difference. For one type there are the sort of Sunday-best clothes any woman might wear and words such as safe, secure, discreet, convincing, soft, feminine: for the other more exotic wear and descriptions like wild, wicked, sexy, sinful, daring and provocative.
This second class of transvestite may well have begun dressing in puberty, when female clothing becomes sexually attractive because the people who wear it are. It may seem strange to someone who is not a transvestite to say that a man can feel even more masculine when dressed as a woman, but it is true.
Just as a diamond looks best on a black cloth so the contrast with the femininity of the clothes enhances his own sense of maleness. Being a transvestite is like having a mistress who will comply with his every whim. He can act out his sexual fantasies with her and not have to worry about how a real girl would react. The clothes he buys for her are the same as he would buy for such a woman. A man who is unsure of himself with women may use his fantasy as a substitute for the real thing: a more confident person who finds a sympathetic wife of girlfriend may discover he enjoys making love to her while dressed or perhaps playing a game where he pretends that he is only dressed up because she orders it. Part of the excitement for both is the thought of doing something "naughty", for if a little bit of guilt were not an aphrodisiac, why is lacy underwear advertised as "wicked"?
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