Erotic Transformation Flow
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I only stopped running when I was in the main street of Eglise Saint- Martin. I must have ran for miles. Then I realised what I had done. As far as the army were concerned, I was now a deserter; I had shown cowardice in the face of the enemy. And I had acted with violence to a superior rank. The army would not wish to hear about panic, or shell-shock or trench fatigue when they caught me. None of these existed as far as the high command was concerned, I knew from hearing of other men who had ran. I would certainly be arrested, court-martialled and shot, as an example to all other soldiers. Perhaps this was far worse than facing the Germans. All I could do now was to keep moving. It was about four in the morning, and few people were about. Before the military police saw me and questioned me, I had to leave the village. The roads were out of the question. I took to the fields, dropping my webbing straps as I went. If I was thinking where I was going I would have reasoned that I could not go to Chateau Mallarmes, for I could not expect even Colette to harbour a deserter. But it seemed at that point a safe place to go, the only place I could think of in my panic. As dawn was breaking I remember falling down on the kitchen doorstep, just as Marie was opening the door. `Monsieur Antoine!' she exclaimed, as she saw me, mud spattered, agitated and just collapsing. `Help me!' I remember saying, just as all went black. It must have been some hours later, for when I woke up, I was in a bed, in a room that was getting dark. My uniform was lying across a chair, and I was wearing a nightshirt, a little old and worn. I noticed that I had been bathed. I lay there a while, and Colette eventually came in, with Marie. Colette looked very serious; not really angry, but very sad. `So you have deserted, dear Antoine?' I nodded, knowing I had put her in a serious position as well as myself.`I thought you would, as a matter of fact.' She sounded very sombre and practical. `Still, it is very dangerous, but I feel I must help you. I am willing to hide you, but we must take desperate measures. Can you get up now?' I could, and rose from the bed. I told her what had happened, and she was silent for a few minutes before answering.`Antoine, you know you cannot go back now. They are certainly looking for you by now, and you know you will face a firing squad if they catch you. The only thing I can do is hide you. And I will.' I was so glad, and was just about to thank her, but she motioned me to be quiet. Then she went on:`But I can only do that if you do everything I tell you to do from this moment on. Now, I must hear you to agree to do what I say, without once questioning or disobeying, and only then can I help you. Now, Antoine, do you agree to do exactly what I tell you to do while you are hiding here?'
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