Susan's First Adventure

I was 14 years old and had been dressing in earnest for about 18 months. Up until then I had occasionally ventured into my cousin's tutu and school uniform and had famously played all afternoon in her garden in her wonderfully garish party dress.

By Susan Russell

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Closing the back door behind me with the, rather bewildered, dog on the lead, I felt the cold wind in my skirts - it was delicious and I felt a quiet gasp of pleasure at this sudden vulnerability and internalising, all- pervading femininity. I felt my movements grow calmer. If someone had spoken to me at that moment my voice would have been higher and softer. Sneaking out the back gate I looked both ways and seeing there was nobody about I ventured out with quick short steps. As I got used to walking and gained confidence I began to mince a little. I loved the fact that it was cold and that I was being kept warm by wonderful women's clothes.

I walked for miles, slowly gaining the confidence to walk on the same side of the road as passers-by. A rather alarming incident occurred when another dog started to pay attention to mine and its owner, a middle-aged man, seemed to want to engage in conversation about canine matters. I smiled sweetly and nodded my head a few times and carried on. I don't think he ever twigged. I was so ecstatic I could have skipped.

It was beginning to get dark and it was time to head for home before the nightmare scenario of my parents and siblings being in the house whilst I, dressed up to the nines, was outside. I walked home quickly nervously checking to see whether any cars had returned before me. Had there been I do not know what I would have done apart from go into a quiet, blind panic. Waving mischievously to the old lady across the road in the semi-darkness I slipped through the back gate and into the house. The house seemed very hot after the cold of outside.

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