The Office Boy

By Janey Stickney

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The girl, me, was looking back from the mirror, and like my sister, she is stunning. Her large blue eyes with their long lashes look deeply into me. She has wide, pouty lips highlighted by sensual reddish pink lipstick. Her soft brown hair falls a few inches above her shoulders, styled with bangs, gently brushed without a single hair out of place. White button earrings and a thin white necklace merely enhance the simple blue dress. The simplicity of the dress draws my eyes to my face. Without any fanfare at all I turned to face my mother, and when she looked up I heard her gasp. "Damn!" Mom stood up and had me turn around for her. "If I did not know it was you I never would have guessed that there was a boy under that dress!" "Thank you mother." I sat down facing her, my knees firmly locked together and my hands in my lap. "I can see that you know how to do makeup and get dressed, but how are you in public?" "I've never been out of the house mother." "Then it's time that you experience things all women enjoyÉ like shopping, having your nails done and your hair styled." "Like this!" "Of course dear! How else?" "ButÉbutÉ" I started to sound like a car that needed a tune up, but mother had made up her mind! "Michael, you and I both know that you want to go out and make people think that you are really a girl, don't we? Lets stop pretending that you are so attached to your macho self and admit that you love being a girl." Why did she always know? Are all mothers able to read their children's mind like this? Without waiting for an answer she said, "Get a purse and put your wallet and some lipstick in it and I'll get cleaned up a bit before we go."

As I waited for her to get ready I knew that mother was right. I no longer had any reason to use excuses or delaying tactics. The time had come; I had to step outside wearing women's clothes. I had to, and wanted to, act enough like a real girl to convince everyone that would see me that I really was a girl. I had to act in a way that everyone who saw me would believe I was a female. The very thought of being a convincing girl made me feel weak and vulnerable, yet fear was attacking every nerve in my body, and the longer I waited the more my fear grew. Mother finally showed up, but before we left the house she asked me what my girl name was. "I never picked one mother!" "Then why don't we use the name of the actress you look so much like?" I agreed, and from that moment on she called me Diane.

The first thing that I became aware of was how the breezy air felt on my nylon covered legs. That same slight breeze also kept teasing its way up and under the hem of my dress. It was a new sensation, but I have to admit that I loved it. I found that wearing high heels made my hips sway, and I had to walk with a better posture just to help me to maintain my balance. It wasn't long before I began to hold my arms up at my sides bent at the elbow instead of putting them in my pockets like I normally did. Mother saw the way I was reacting to the clothes, but instead of saying anything she just smiled at me warmly, with approval written on her face. I wondered about that, and finally I asked her about it as we drove to the mall.

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