The tale of the TV Detective
By Dianne Inche
“I am not going to do another series. The whole thing makes my life impossible. I haven’t....”
“Common on, Jerry you’ve never been so well off. The new contract’s for three years, six shows a year, decent scripts and the money’ll set you up for life.”
“As I was saying.... Money isn’t everything. Have you seen some of the invitations I’ve had in my fan mail, lately? And that supermarket opening I did last week, it was nearly a riot. I don’t know which were the worst, the men forgetting I wasn’t the real thing or the women wanting to know what underwear I had on. My buttocks were black and blue from being pinched. “
“What does it matter? You made the six o’clock news and the supermarket group have been on the phone again, offering three times the money to open another two stores for them. You’re the most popular TV detective of all time. All the viewers love and adore you.”
“Like I said, I wish I could work out who pinches my bum at those events so I can watch out for them. It was your fault that clause went in the last contract that all my promotional appearances had to be in character. It seems I go weeks sometimes without wearing a pair of trousers. That clause had better be out this time.”
Jerry Antrobus turned sulkily away from his agent to stare out over the city from the 14th floor window. He had never dreamed when he had auditioned for the part three years before that there would be so much success. He still enjoyed the adulation the part of Chris Campbell brought him but recently the audiences had begun to demand more of Christine than Christopher.
Paula Peters, a theatrical agent whose career had been rescued by the TV Detective, regarded her client with more than a tinge of jealousy. In the early days she had never thought the detective’s occasional forays into dresses as a disguise would ever raise the series beyond the mundane, but a new sponsor had demanded a more convincing and more attractive Christine and suddenly the show had not looked back. That, Paula decided, was when she had begun to feel jealous of her client.
Jerry’s female wardrobe was beyond the purse of most ordinary women and the director of the last series had decided that realism was all. They had shown Jerry struggling into the most attractive, but equally most restricting and constricting, of underwear - to the fascination of viewers of all persuasions.
Paula smiled as she recollected being summoned to the studio to placate her client two summers previously........
Paula had been collected from the car park by an agitated director’s assistant and swept through to the portable buildings doubling as dressing rooms and rest areas for the cast. It was the first day of filming for the second series of “The TV Detective.” The first series had only turned into a second due to a shortage of competitors and by not committing any grave errors.
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