Cross Dressing, My Discovery

Such was my infatuation that I soon began to have fantasies about wearing her dresses. Soon I was imagining that she forced me to wear them and, to cap it all, I started to imagine what it was like to be her as a girl.

By Karen

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Cross dressing is not like a common cold which has a beginning and an end, and only lasts a short time. Cross dressing is much more permanent than that because the need to cross dress is deeply rooted in the individual's own identity.

One is not told by anyone that he or she is a transvestite - more likely the individual found out for himself that he had a desire for cross dressing, and through his own efforts found out that this was called transvestism. Having found out that one is a TV there follows a long period of self-discovery.

It is my opinion that transvestism is not a static situation but something that develops and matures along with the individual. The following is a record of how I discovered cross dressing and how I have learned to accept it as part of me.

At the age of fourteen I was in love with a pretty girl who lived a few houses down the road. It was the usual experience of a young adolescent male discovering the delights of the female sex. We kissed and cuddled whenever we could.

Looking back this may seem incredibly confusing, but at fourteen there is a lot less self-analysis, and rather more doing and experimenting. Adult standards are not so deeply entrenched at this stage. It seems that I had at least discovered the idea of cross dressing and that the next step was clearly to try it out.

Periodically I started to wear knickers and tights under my jeans. Eventually I was able to borrow a bra and obtain a skirt from a jumble collection. However, the opportunity to cross dress was very limited in our small house, especially as I had four brothers from whom to keep my secret. At about this time it was necessary to reconsider what I was doing. I lived in a small village in rural Norfolk where I suspect no one had experienced of transvestism or even knew what the word meant. I had discovered cross dressing before I knew what it was called.

The next step was to find out if cross dressing was harmful, was there a cure, were there other people like me, and if so how did they cope? The sources of information at hand were limited and I was certainly not going to ask the doctor or my parents. It was already clear to me that society did not approve of this behaviour. No, I would have to find out by myself, but where could I get the information I needed?

The newspapers, especially the trashy Sunday ones, often carried stories of men being caught wearing women's clothes. These articles were reported in the most sensational and scandalous way possible. There were also a few reports of men having operations to become women.

I soon made a collection of these reports and from them discovered the word 'transvestite'. The handy home dicitonaries I had did not even mention the word (nor cross dressing) so I went to a local library and consulted an encyclopedia, but even this was limited to a definition.

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