Diane's First Dress
By Diane Morrill
When I finally did become more familiar with bras, I would go to the attic with a 'proper' bra, panties, stockings and a garter belt in order to dress 'properly.' By the time I was 12, the dress almost fit me and the strapless bra had finally come into common use. Now the dress would stay up if I used enough padding to fill the strapless bra cups, but it felt awkward; there was something unnatural about having to use padding.
Girls my age were beginning to develop their breasts, and here I was with the prettiest dress imaginable, and I had nothing of my own to hold the dress up. I would look down at my flat chest and feel diminished. I remember about having had quite a dilemma wondering how I might be hurting myself by continuing to indulge myself by 'dressing up,' but you, Reader, know why I did not and could not stop.
By the time I was 14, the dress was fitting me perfectly except for what I had always believed was intended to 'hold it up;' the trauma of seeing the other sex blossom with what I thought was rightfully mine was excruciating. Most of all, I was now going to formal dances myself - in a tuxedo - and wanting with all my heart to wear that pretty gown hanging in that faraway closet. Envy of the girls in their pretty gowns was near-all-consuming.
In my bed later, I would cry to vent the hurt. I was at a dance one evening when I finally came to realize what was actually holding strapless dresses 'up.' It was by observing girls who I knew were small-breasted that I finally understood. It is the depression of the female waste above the widened hips that 'holds up' the strapless dress by supporting the top from underneath. I smiled, but I really wanted to cry; I lacked not only the breasts, but the shape of the lower torso.
Once again I was reminded of what my mind said that I was, and of what my body said that I was not. It is now many years later, and that dress continues to be the most elegant and feminine article that has ever draped my body, including all the lovely nighties and undies that fill my dresser drawers and adorn my body every day.
Best of all, though, is that feeling of wholeness and completeness that I have today of being able to now hold the top of that dress up the way I had originally thought it should have been... by my very own bountiful breasts.
Thank you Transformation!
dianemorrill@juno.com
Copyright © Transformation 2006
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