Jane's Story
By Jane DuCidre
Over the years, I have used all sorts of excuses to wear female clothing in public, from fancy dress, plays (Rocky Horror Picture Show), charity work and even music (I used to have a group and would start off with 'I Want To Break Free' dressed like Freddie Mercury in the video).
Once with my first wife I put on a pair of stockings and suspenders (I jokingly said, "lets try something kinky") and we had great sex, but the next time I suggested the stockings the look on her face said enough.
I divorced 3 years later (not because of the incident above) and met my wife of now. We have been together now for 16 years (11 living together and 5 married). I had told my new wife about the incident above and she said, "I can't see any harm in that." So I said, "lets try something kinky" and she didn't bat an eyelid, but went straight to her drawer and got a pair of stockings out and helped me into them. This became a regular event, and we both enjoyed great sex, which led to my wife buying me my first set of my own underwear. She never once pulled a face or laughed at me, but helped me into whatever she had bought me.
But things still niggled me; I still did not feel happy within myself. I am a 41-year-old man with a bald head and hair everywhere else (back, chest, legs and face). Wearing female clothing as I was doing was alright for sex with my wife but it still didn't feel right, something was missing. Basically I looked like a man dressed as a woman, hairy arms and legs and a chest like a gorilla. Also at the end of sex, I did not have an excuse to keep wearing what I had on, so off it came leaving me feeling empty inside.
I never once dressed up behind my wife's back. I would only ever do it with her permission; I think that honesty is very important between each other.
2 years ago I had a terrible injury in work, smashing my left hand. I couldn't do much with it. Sex with my wife stopped for 18 months - I can't give you a definite reason why, it certainly wasn't anything to do with my wife, but pain in my left hand was some of it. The rest of it I put down to not knowing what I was going to do. I found it hard to get my mind to concentrate on one thing (sex), when all I was thinking about doing was coming up with an excuse for putting on the clothes my wife had just took off. My wife never complained about the lack of sex but I knew it was hurting her.
I had taken 2 months off work over the Christmas period just gone, and gave a great deal of thought to my situation and finally came to terms with how I felt. For the last thirty something years I have only ever dreamed of being a woman, and it's about time I at least accepted that fact. My wife is a very understanding person, I should at least tell her the truth, and put her mind at ease. Time to come clean, and hope it doesn't hurt anyone.
Having sat my wife down, I showed her the page on the Transformation website Why am I a TV. There were a few tears on both sides (hers, because she thought that I did not love her or find her attractive anymore. Mine because I hate upsetting her, she is the last person on earth I would ever upset.)
After she had read the website and a few contributions from myself, I knew that she fully understood what my problem was and agreed that I could do what I have always wanted, dress as a female whenever I wanted, given the right time and the right place.
After that talk with my wife, I got my razor out and made a start shaving. I also had to think of a name for myself, I've noticed how a lot of TV femme names are simply a female name similar to their male name. Why be different, John to Jane works all right for me.
The biggest discussion was about breasts. I have always wanted my own, and after buying a pair of cheap false breasts, we both agreed they do not look or feel like the real thing. So with my wife's permission I have just started hormone treatment (she even applied the first lot of cream to both breasts and nipples!).
We gave a great deal of thought to what the potential could be and also what problems might occur (bald man in shower at work with 38B chest) we don't want to broadcast the Transformation I am approaching, so all possibilities had to be looked at. (I would hide my breasts when in public; I have a few ideas for this.)
But no surgery! I do not want to make a decision that cannot be reversed for several reasons. Most importantly my wife still wants a husband (regardless of how he looks or what he is wearing) and I still want to make love to my Wife. I suppose if I'd had the option to choose 30 years ago I would not have hesitated.
Copyright © Transformation 2006
0.892112016678
