Jayne's Story (part 2)
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I began to build up quite a collection of clothing, as I was doing a paper round and other jobs. Mum helped out as well, and even took me to get a wig, saying it was for a school play in which I had to play a girl! The shop assistant said that we would probably not want one that made me look too much like a girl, but mum said no, it had to be as authentic as possible, and I needed to look as much like a girl as possible. She was great.
She brought me a lovely wig which really did help transform me. She even came shopping for clothes with me, helping to purchase underwear for myself. She helped me buy my first real bra! I carried on dressing for many years, purchasing make-up as well, until I met Marion.
She came to live at our house - she worked at the same place I did, and was looking for a place to stay. One thing led to another, and we started a relationship. One day she came across my female clothing... I said it was my sister's, but did not think she believed it. A few weeks later, she suggested I try on her clothes for a laugh, which I happily did, and I then told her I liked wearing female clothing. She said she had guessed by the clothes I had said were my sisters. She started to help me dress up occassionally.
We moved away from home, and it became more regular. This is where my other story came in.
As i have said, it was more than just occasional. I needed to dress and be a woman more and more, and eventually we parted. We'd had children together, and she felt that things could not go on that way, as I was getting moody and depressed if not dressed. I moved back home with my Mum.
My father had passed away two years previously, so it was just me and my mum. I was still dressing on and off, but the feelings were getting much stronger in me and I knew I really needed to be a woman. Mum was, and is, very supportive and said I could dress as I pleased, which made life so much easier.
I unfortunately became quite ill in late 1998, and was off work for 6 months, with severe fatigue as my doctor diagnosed. I was working on the Railway at the time as a train driver. I did return to work, but fell ill again within 5 months, and was sacked from the now privatised railway in August 1999. I was suffering from anxiety, fatigue and depression. I could not return to work for more than a year. I now have a job in retail - though not paying well, its a job, and i am looking for something more.
Around then is also the time that I started living full-time as a woman, other than at work. I long to tell them that I want to change my sex, but as I have not been there very long, cannot at the moment. I have yet to approach my doctor, but will do so very soon, so I can see about the change, as i am so much happier while in my female role and my health is much better. I know I still have a long way to go, but living full time is a great relief for me, and I go out all the time as Jayne.
Most of my family know of me, and a few friends. Just three good friends do not know the real me yet, but I will have to tell them soon, as it is only fair for both them and myself also.
I long for the day when I can hopefully become a full woman, and will be striving to my goal. I have recently made two very good and supportive friends from Peterborough, and if you are reading this, I would like to say a big thank you Marteena and Debbie. Thanks so much for your love and support. I can not express how much it has meant to me.
I hope i have not bored you all too much, but writing my experiences down helps to make me feel better in myself, and maybe someone may be able to find some similarities in their own experiences to mine.
I wish everyone well, and thank you for reading.
Love and best wishes, Jayne
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