Lynne's Story
By Lynne Blythe
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An interesting factor in my personality is that women generally seem to accept me, in my male personna, and to confide in me. I have had a number of women pour out a lot of their innermost feelings to me. Maybe it is because they sense something in me which is akin to them and which does not threaten them as women? Even my male self still feels at ease with women and ill at ease with men with whom I have little or no conversation and nothing at all in common.
I long to be accepted by society as my true self and not as the self I appear to be outwardly. If it ever happened, and it is never likely that that would occur, people would find that I am still the person they have always known, only then, they would know me better!
On speculation, I am sure that many people would be shocked if they found out that I wear dresses and skirts and pass as a woman; but what would there to be shocked about I wonder? I do not try to "pick up" men , I do not flaunt myself as a woman, it is merely that I feel completely natural when dressed in skirts and wearing make-up, so what is shocking about it?
It can be said that I dislike my (male) body intensely and yearn to be a woman constantly.
So what sort of people are we? I say "we" because I have been privileged to meet a few, but there must be thousands of us out there! For example I know a "woman" in Capetown who had the courage to give up her male life and is now the manageress of a computer company. I also met a "woman" who was, at that time, a theatre sister in a well known private hospital in Johannesburg - another who had had the courage to take up a new life!
We are not gay!
We are not exhibitionists.
We want to blend in to society and not to be recognised as our male personnae.
We would like to be accepted by other women as one close to, if not wholy part of, female society.
We do not try to 'pervert' other folk to become like us.
We just want to live our lives in peace!
At the same time, in my case, out of love and devotion to my wonderful wife, I retain the male outer ego and do many of the things that husbands, fathers and grand-fathers do.
It isn't easy and still gets me down. I would love to be fully accepted by society as the woman I know I am. For the sake of my family, however, this can never be. I count my blessings for what I have in my life.
Epilogue
Such are the experiences I have had as a woman that I have come to appreciate what many women have to suffer at the hands of men. One small example is that, when driving my car as a woman, I have on many occasions had fists shaken at me, had horns tooted and other examples of so-called masculine superiority, just because I may have happened to beat a man off at a set of traffic lights. Every woman will know what I am talking about.
In my opinion, men actually are subconciously afraid of women! They are mysterious creatures and men cannot understand them. Therefore they try to show their so-called masculine superiority by deriding women wherever possible.
This masculine ego problem is a root cause of violence against women, in my opinion.
Although the thought is completely unfeasible, if every youth had to live for, say, six months of his teenage life as a girl, and suffer many of the indignities which girls suffer at the hands of men, there would be a much greater understanding of women's problems by men, and possibly much fewer attempts to show off the male ego.
Wasn't it Dustin Hoffman who, after making the fim 'Tootsie', said that he became a much better man having been a woman?!
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