Lynne's Story
By Lynne Blythe
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Prologue
The differences in the meaning of certain words should be first understood before this is read.
A transvestite is someone who wears the clothes of the opposite sex for sexual satisfaction and/or for florid display where the observer is required to understand that he is looking at a person whose physical body is different from that which it appears to be.
A transsexual is a person who is convinced that he/she is of one gender trapped in the body of the other gender. He/she has the intention of undergoing surgical re-adjustment to correct what is a conceived error.
A transgenderist is someone quite like a transsexual, i.e. he/she is certain that he/she is of one gender trapped in the body of the opposite gender but with little or no intention of undergoing re-adjustment surgery.
Sex and gender - these two words are greatly misunderstood. Sex is the physical body and is incontrovertible. Gender is what a person feels himself/herself to be mentally and sub-consiously. The feelings of gender are difficult to understand but, to the transgenderist, they are very strong.
I am a transgenderist.
My Thoughts about myself
These feelings were apparent to me at a very early age, as far back as my memory goes. I was only a very little boy, long before I went to school, when I knew without doubt that I should be a girl. I knew without doubt that I should be playing with the girls and not with the boys. I knew that I wanted to have dolls and prams and not lorries and guns etc., as my toys. I knew that I should be wearing dresses and not the clumsy, ugly clothes that boys have to wear. I could not understand it.
I had an aunt living close to us who really did not help my situation as she often remarked, in my hearing, "Teddy is too pretty to be a boy, he should have been a girl!". It was nice to hear but no-one seemed to agree with her except me and I could not talk about it.
I could not understand these feelings but, at the same time, I was unable to talk about them as boys are all supposed to be tough and boyish, whereas I had none of those feelings and certainly did not want to be tough and boyish, No! I wanted to be frivolous and girlish.
And pretty.
But none of these feelings helped to make me what I felt was right, I still had a boy's body, I still did not feel at ease with other boys, the girls did not want me to mix with them and I began the feelings of my entire life - loneliness! At times, and still to this day, I feel incredibly lonely with no-one with whom I can talk freely and who would understand my feelings.
There are times, even now after a lifetime , when I could often just sit down and weep because of my sadness and frustration at not being able to express myself openly.
And so my life fell into a sort of pattern, I could not unburden myself to my Mother or my sister; I had no common bond with other boys; I felt that I had a bond with girls, but in their eyes I was a boy and they did not accept me.
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