Although I have wanted to dress up as a woman for most of my life, I never really had the nerve to do it. Friends, family and work colleagues had occasionally ridiculed transvestites when stories appeared in the press.
My mother (whom I believe suspected I was a bit of a girl) would make announcements occasionally such as “I would be devastated if one of my sons were gay or effeminate”. As a young man this did nothing to help with my growing desire to dress up as a girl. I don’t think I’m outwardly effeminate and I know I’m not gay as I’m not attracted to men. However, I really do admire woman, I like their fashions and hair styles, and like real women I know I can enjoy dressing like that as well.
I’ll avoid all the psychology and the ‘why do I do it’ soul searching, all I know is I want to do it and it is only fear of society and my peers that made me try to suppress my cross dressing desires. Last year I decided I was going to do it for real, my urge to dress up and impersonate females had only become stronger over the years so one day I made the decision to become the transvestite I knew I was.
I still remember the traumatic afternoon I told my wife, the news went down very badly, but I wanted her to know the truth. Despite the bad reception to my confession I can still vividly recall the next few hours as I shaved my legs and chest, I really felt this was it – I was finally going for my long held dream to appear as a female.
I wanted no half measures, if I was going to pretend to be a woman I wanted to look and feel as close to being female as I could possibly achieve.
I think I am partly female as I certainly felt very comfortable creating my female body shape. I loved wearing the silicone breast forms more than I could ever have believed. Shaved legs and a smooth hairless chest are just such a sensational tactile feeling that I don’t think I can return to having a hairy body again.
After the initial shaving, it does not take too long to keep your body shaved. I find I now enjoy having a bath and shaving my legs and I’ll admit I love rubbing in all the moisturisers I now use every day, it’s a girly thing but I love it!
As I approached the point where I finally became a practicing trannie I discovered the Transformation web site and realised this was it! I could order make up, shoes, dresses – and of course my delightful discovery of silicone breast forms – and it would all come mail order, no nervous shopping expedition.
I have only dressed up en femme on ten occasions and I realise that I do not make a very convincing woman at all. This is a little disappointing as after a lifetime of waiting I thought with a bit of make up, a nice wig and dress that I could immediately look female.
Not so! I understand that I need a lot of practice and I need to learn the skill of applying make up.
I enjoy wearing make up and I get a little better every time but I have a long way to go. At first I just loved piling make up on and wearing tons of it, and I mean tons of it! It was very exciting to finally put it on my face. I’m calming down now and I’m still trying to use what is just enough to look convincing. I do enjoy that moment when I start to put on my foundation,
I love the perfumed smell and feel of it as it covers my male features. My favourites are mascara and lipstick, I very much enjoy wearing both on my face.
My favourite moment comes when I’m finally made up, I have put on my female underwear, my temporary breasts feel good in their supporting bra (occasionally I go braless), my smoothly shaved legs are sheathed in nylons, I’m wearing a form fitting short lycra dress and I’ve slipped on my high heels
I then put on my wig and I experience a real thrill at suddenly becoming a woman, it is simply a wonderful personal moment!
I’m only an impersonator of women and I’m not good at it, but I want to be good so I will carry on trying to refine my female alter-ego Cathy and who knows maybe one day I’ll finally be mistaken for a woman, that’s my dream. I was fortunate that I reached a stage in my life where I had enough money to indulge myself and buy all my female clothes and accessories.
I now understand that what is important is not really how convincing you look as a woman, but enjoying the whole dressing experience. You don’t have to look sensational, you don’t have to go the whole way, just do what you want and enjoy it, I absolutely adore it!
I enjoy dressing up and pretending to be female and for me it makes me feel soft, warm, and relaxed. It is a very tactile experience and after my years of suppression my confidence has been boosted by finally exploring my feminine side.
If you are like me and suppressed your transvestite nature then I can only say: give it a go at least once, it really is wonderful to do, I’m sure you will enjoy it as much as I have.
Be true to yourself, we only live once and in the grand scheme of things, with some of the horrors going on in the World today, dressing up as girl is not really a bad thing by comparison.
Bye, Cathy XX