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Nov 201523

Should You Tell? - Coming Out To People

 Coming Out To People

  You want to be honest. You love her and want to share your enjoyment with her. It's sexy and you dream of sleeping together in matching nighties. She'll help you with your make-up, getting your seams straight and advise you on style and shopping. And finally you'll get more chances to dress being able to do it at home. Strong reasons, aren't they? And if it works for you, then you are very fortunate. I assume in all of this you value your wife and that for one reason or another you want to stay with her. But what does she get out of it? That is the most important issue. She gets competition for her knickers and tights. What are the neighbours going to say? If you have children, how is that situation going to be dealt with? If they are very young, they can be packed off to bed but once they get older you are going to have to explain. And the explaination had better be good, not to mention how good you look. Children can devastating, as anyone who's been 'read' in the street will testify. But there is a whole range of other reasons that will make a wife, at the very least, uncomfortable with the knowledge that her man wants to dress as a woman. Let's put to one side her first reaction that you're gay and a pervert or the creepy feeling she may get if you've been borrowing her clothes. Now, some women may be turned on by that - but others will feel that it is an invasion of their privacy. Should she tell her mother? Should she tell her friends? If she does then unless she has already committed herself to you she will probably be persuaded by their reaction, which is entirely outside your or her control. So your partner knows, now its her turn. She's not going to be over the moon at first. If she is an experimenter, in bed, then you stand a chance. But you'd better make sure that your performance is the very best if you want to repeat it. It may be that searching up your skirt and into your knickers may prove intriguing to her. But be prepared for her to burst into laughter if she's never seen the female 'you' before. Women can be devastatingly scornful of our efforts. What is the right answer? Only you know your partner. Only you know your circumstances. It's only you that can make the decision. But once made, you cannot go back. So if there's any doubt, don't do it. But that's not a reason for doing nothing. You can drop hints. Fancy dress parties can be a chance to find out how interesting you may be to your wife, en femme. But the path has to be very delicately trodden. One wrong step will be disastrous. Even if you get past first base there is still the danger of you getting far more out of it than your partner. If she gets fed up with it, beware! But what have other people done? There are successful relationships based on the man living at least part-time as a woman. Equally there are marriages that have been torn apart, very messily, by telling. You've all read about certain public figures whose former wives have branded them as perverts. But in a number of cases the wife seems to have accepted the situation or even actively participated, for a time. But something went wrong and now they're all over the front pages. I told my wife of twenty plus years and the first reaction was shock. The second was to call me a pervert, the third was to ask if I had borrowed her clothes (we're different sizes) and finally wondered whether she had been carrying on a lesbian relationship all those years. Almost three years later there's an unspoken, undiscussed truce between us. She doesn't want to know, but she doesn't want me to do it. I'm grateful that I never told her that I regard myself as TS rather than TV, but that's another matter. Why haven't I faced it out? Life is complicated and anyway I do love her, so if she won't accept it and I don't want to lose her, what do I do? I have no answer for myself. I know it worries her and it sure as hell gets on my nerves, but I can't face hurting her and I can't live without my female side. My natural fatalism tells me that it'll all blow up in my face, but in the meantime I'm having the best of both worlds. The price for that is stress, but am I wrong? I feel guilty but what is the alternative? Remember, what will work for someone else won't necessarily work for you. There's only one certain solution, that's to give it all up. I've tried, we've all tried at one time or another. And what does that do to us? Make us dissatisfied and perhaps resentful towards our partner. That can break up the relationship just as easily. The decision is yours, but think it through and don't count on your partner being predictable, that's one thing of which I'm absolutely sure, a man can never second guess a woman! Don't try. If you confess, you take your life in your hands. Good Luck, whatever you decide.

Nov 201523

Jayne's Story

short story

Jayne's Story

I remember my first full day out as a woman - it was one of the most exciting days of my life. I had been with Marion for about a year, and she had already found my clothes and make up which I thought I had hidden away out of sight. She asked me who they belonged to. At first I said they were my sisters, but seeing that she did not believe me, I told her the truth - that I really loved to dress and be a woman. I was very surprised when she seemed to accept it, and we talked it over. After that, she even helped me with my dressing and make up. We often went out as sisters, shopping things, but it was only for a few hours at a time. We had been to see her best friend, Samantha, in London a few times, and as a laugh Marion suggested I put on a skirt and top when Sam went to make the tea. When she returned, she thought it was funny, and she produced some make-up and applied it to me. I felt a thrill through my body, and we told her about my other self. I spent the rest of the visit as Jayne, only changing to go home. It was actually Sam who suggested we go out somewhere, all as girls, and it was agreed we would go to the coast. We arranged to meet Sam at Charing Cross Station at about 8am, so Marion and I had gotten up before six. I had a quick bath and cleansed my skin, before choosing what I was going to wear for the day. It was the height of summer, so I chose a short, above-knee-length white skirt, and a short-sleeved white top, as Marion had suggested. Marion then set about putting on my make-up. I was in my early twenties, and fortunately did not have much facial hair, so we did not have to disguise it much. When she had finished, I put on my wig (which went below my shoulders, as long hair suits me better) and we set off. I was on such a high, looking forward to the day, and a little nervous as well. Firstly, I would be Jayne all day, not just for a few hours, and secondly, Sam would be seeing me as Jayne fully dressed for the first time. I had that wonderfull feeling, which I am sure we must all experience, as we go out into the world as our female selves! When we arrived at Charing Cross, Marion said to hide, while she went to fetch Sam. I walked towards them as they said hello, and greeted Sam. The look of surprise on her face was great, and she complimented me on how I looked, saying I looked very natural. She admitted that she hadn't been sure about how I would appear, and had been a bit worried. But not now! We had to go on the underground to Victoria Station, and decided to have a bite to eat in a litte cafe near the station. As we walked in, we attracted a few wolf whistles from some breakfasting builders, and one remarked at my short skirt, that it shouldn't be allowed! We had a giggle when we sat down. They kept staring our way, and Sam said they were looking at me and commenting on my looks, as she had overheard them. Little did they realise! As we left, they said 'bye, girls' to us. I must have blushed!
  At Victoria we boarded the train for Margate. As we walked along the platform, I loved the breeze that caressed my legs. I felt on top of the world, knowing that I had no choice but to be female all day. That was the whole idea, I had no male clothes with me at all. I clutched the strap of my shoulder bag, feeling so feminine. I had my make-up inside, just in case I needed a touch up! I opend the zip and checked inside, and saw my purse, keys, handkerchief and the cosmetics, and a pair of tights in case it turned a bit chilly. The journey took about 2 hours or so, and as we left the train at Margate, the warm breeze again touched my bare legs. I just felt so happy. It was a warm sunny day, and we made our way to the beach. We sat on the sand for a while, then Sam suggested we go for some refreshment. McDonalds was chosen. Now, as I have said it was the height of summer, so many people were around, and I was passing so well, even getting some favourable comments from the boys! Samantha was listening to what was said, and told me everything! It all made me feel so confident, and a thrill again ran through my body. We spent the whole day there until early evening, eating at a resturant, playing pool in the arcades, and riding the attractions in what was then called Dreamland. The only thing that did worry me was using the toilet, as we had to go to the ladies. I was a little concerned, but need not have worried, as Sam had said. She seemed to be enjoying the day as much as me, I suppose she liked knowing what others did not! We talked about all sorts of Girl things, and it was a wonderful time. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and we made our way back to the station. When we arrived back at Victoria, Sam suggested we go back to her place as, her mum was away for a few days - we would have the place to ourselves. Marion and I said we would not be able to get home after, but Sam said we could stay the night. But what about the morning - I would have to wear the same clothes! We agreed I would borrow a dress from Sam as we were the same size. Arriving at her place, we had the rest of the evening to talk and laugh around. It was about 2am before we went to bed, Sam lent me one of her nightdresses to wear. It had been a great day and night! In the morning, we did not have to rise too early. I was made up by Sam, and she styled my wig in a different way. She loved to do it for me. At about 11, we had to go home, and Sam came to the station with us. She gave us both hugs and kisses, and told me she enjoyed meeting Jayne, and hoped to do so again. She did... Jayne

Nov 201523

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Nov 201523

Jayne's Story (part 2)

short story

Jayne's Story

Hello. You may have read my earlier true life experience in Jayne’s Story. Well, that was quite a long time ago, and things have changed a lot since then.

 

Although Marion and I were together for 7 years, we eventually parted as i always wanted to dress as a woman. I knew deep down that I was more than just a transvestite, and have wanted to be a girl for as long as i can remember. Even in junior school, I had a friend called Paula, and i was often invited to stay at her house. We would play with her dolls, and she would get me to wear her clothes, which I loved.

 

Her mother thought nothing of it, thinking I suppose only that ‘children will play’. If I stayed the night I would wear a nightie of Paula’s to bed. We had some fun times, as two girls playing girls’ games.

 

I would often try on my sister’s clothes at home – although big for me, I stillwore them. I would borrow my mum’s tights, and wear them whenever i could, and underwear too from my sister’s room. I even dared to put on nail varnish, but that ended in disaster, as I loved it so much I lost track of the time and my mum and dad came home. I changed, but had no time to remove the varnish. I made out that I had had an accident and it had spilled it on me. My father was not impressed and mum just removed it for me, and no more was said. I was about 12 then.

 

My early teens involved me still experimenting. At about 14, my cousin was staying with me, while her parents and mine went out to bingo for the afternoon. We were playing board games, and I brought the conversation around to girls clothes, and how it must be great to be able to wear skirts and dresses. She bet me I wouldn’t dare wear them myself, and of course I took her up on the bet.

 

I had borrowed a few items of my sisters before they had left home which now fitted me, and I had this nice blue skirt and white blouse in my room. I hurriedly changed into it and went downstairs to my cousin. She thought it was quite funny, but I stayed dressed and we carried on playing, unaware of the time. A car pulled up on the driveway, and our parents arrived home. I hurridly tried to change, and hid the clothes in the toilet downstairs. I made it just in time.

 

The next day I was confronted by my father holding the skirt and blouse in his hands, and demanding to know what was going on. He was furious, insinuating I had sexually interferred with Debbie. I was in tears, and said I liked wearing girls clothes, and wanted to be a girl. He stormed out of the house.

 

Mum comforted me, and spoke to me and I told her how i felt. She was very understanding and supportive, and has been to this day. She has been a real diamond. My father did not speak to me for ages. Mum tried to reason with him to no avail. He told my elder brother about it, thinking he would be horrified, but he came to see me a couple of days later to talk to me about it. He was married and had told his wife, and they said I could stay with them for a long weekend, and I could dress as a girl!

 

I had got a few clothes, and we made arrangments for the following weekend. My brother, said to be ready, dressed, Friday evening when our parents were out, and he would pick me up.

 

I was wearing a red dress that I loved, and some shoes I had brought a while back from a mail order catalogue. When the doorbell rang I was very nervous, but he said I looked nice. I had a wig of my mothers that she never wore, so looked fairly feminine.

 

I only took one set of male clothes to come home in, for my fathers sake, so he would not suspect – other than that I had my few girls clothes. I had a great weekend. My brothers wife put some make up on me which made the wig look much better, and we even went out shopping for a few hours!

 

They bought me some new clothes from a cheap shop – I loved them – and a few other bits. Monday came all too soon though, and I had to go home.

 

My father blotted out the incident with my cousin and nothing was ever said about it again. Things were a bit awkward for a few weeks but he eventually started talking to me again, although things were always a bit strained from then on.

 

I began to build up quite a collection of clothing, as I was doing a paper round and other jobs. Mum helped out as well, and even took me to get a wig, saying it was for a school play in which I had to play a girl! The shop assistant said that we would probably not want one that made me look too much like a girl, but mum said no, it had to be as authentic as possible, and I needed to look as much like a girl as possible. She was great.

 

She brought me a lovely wig which really did help transform me. She even came shopping for clothes with me, helping to purchase underwear for myself. She helped me buy my first real bra! I carried on dressing for many years, purchasing make-up as well, until I met Marion.

 

She came to live at our house – she worked at the same place I did, and was looking for a place to stay. One thing led to another, and we started a relationship. One day she came across my female clothing… I said it was my sister’s, but did not think she believed it. A few weeks later, she suggested I try on her clothes for a laugh, which I happily did, and I then told her I liked wearing female clothing. She said she had guessed by the clothes I had said were my sisters. She started to help me dress up occassionally.

 

We moved away from home, and it became more regular. This is where my other story came in.

 

As I have said, it was more than just occasional. I needed to dress and be a woman more and more, and eventually we parted. We’d had children together, and she felt that things could not go on that way, as I was getting moody and depressed if not dressed. I moved back home with my Mum.

 

My father had passed away two years previously, so it was just me and my mum. I was still dressing on and off, but the feelings were getting much stronger in me and I knew I really needed to be a woman. Mum was, and is, very supportive and said I could dress as I pleased, which made life so much easier.

 

I unfortunately became quite ill in late 1998, and was off work for 6 months, with severe fatigue as my doctor diagnosed. I was working on the Railway at the time as a train driver. I did return to work, but fell ill again within 5 months, and was sacked from the now privatised railway in August 1999. I was suffering from anxiety, fatigue and depression. I could not return to work for more than a year. I now have a job in retail – though not paying well, its a job, and i am looking for something more.

 

Around then is also the time that I started living full-time as a woman, other than at work. I long to tell them that I want to change my sex, but as I have not been there very long, cannot at the moment. I have yet to approach my doctor, but will do so very soon, so I can see about the change, as i am so much happier while in my female role and my health is much better. I know I still have a long way to go, but living full time is a great relief for me, and I go out all the time as Jayne.

 

Most of my family know of me, and a few friends. Just three good friends do not know the real me yet, but I will have to tell them soon, as it is only fair for both them and myself also.

 

I long for the day when I can hopefully become a full woman, and will be striving to my goal. I have recently made two very good and supportive friends from Peterborough, and if you are reading this, I would like to say a big thank you Marteena and Debbie. Thanks so much for your love and support. I can not express how much it has meant to me.

 

I hope i have not bored you all too much, but writing my experiences down helps to make me feel better in myself, and maybe someone may be able to find some similarities in their own experiences to mine.

 

I wish everyone well, and thank you for reading.

 

Love and best wishes, Jayne



Nov 201523

China Bill - Bill's Story - Transvestite Fiction

short story

Transvestite Fiction

  I am a perfectly normal male, who was married. After a very painful divorce, I was going to China because of business (I speak fluent Chinese). In those days we frequently went in and out through Hong Kong. We had business there. We were introduced to a lovely club, called "Bottoms Up". It was made famous in a James Bond movie. There are 5 bars, each having an octagonal shape, inside is a green platform on which is a nude woman who takes your order and serves you your drink(s). If one becomes a regular (I did!) you can take the girls out and then nature takes its course. In my case I was already in love with Chinese women, and there was one very lovely, but very tall, slender, lady whose name was Christine. She was the most elegant woman I had ever seen, and she was gracious, but she always wore a "privacy shield" between her legs. The other girls only did this when it was their time of the month. Christine always did. I kept asking her out dancing, to dinner, etc. Finally, after 2 years, she accepted. I was very happy. But some of the regular guys in the place took me aside and told me she was really a "he". I did not believe them, and told them to just be quiet. To myself I said that I really did not care. Well, the evening arrived, and I picked her up at her apartment where she introduced me to her friend, Sophie. Another long tall, slender beauty. We left, went to dinner and then began a night of dancing. Of course Christine was just an outstanding dancer, as am I. We both were having a really great time. Occasionally someone would come up to her and say hello and ask for her autograph which she gave. I was confused, but flattered. Finally it was early in the morning and we headed to her place. On the way she gently fondled me, and brought me to a tremendous climax. I tried to do the same to her, but she pushed my hand away and told me later.
    china2.jpgWhen we arrived at her place Sophie was gone, with a note saying she was staying with a boyfriend for the night. So we were set. We started to kiss and just totally fell into each other. Christine finally pulled back and excite me in a way I had never experienced. I was desperate to caress her and bring her up to where I was. She gently took off her top and of course I had seen but never touched or kissed her beautiful breasts, but that ended fast. Again, my hand went down between her legs. She pulled back and said she had a surprise for me and did not want to hurt me but she was different. Well, she was. She had an absolutely lovely penis, it was smooth, and long, and not at all fat or ugly. She put my hand on it, and it was the most wonderful thing I had ever felt. She kissed me, and kissed me and I meantime manipulated her just as she was me. I told her I thought she was wonderful and just did not care. She moaned and told me she took a long time to come. I told her I had all the time in the world. We did everything we could think of. It was just heaven. In the afternoon, when we had exhausted ourselves her roommate returned. It turns out Sophie was the same. We had a long talk, and I danced with Sophie. Christine wanted to know if we could all three go out that evening and see what went on. Well I am sure you know the rest. We were a trio for 4 years. They were from Singapore and lovely. They moved back and I have not seen them since. Now for the hard part. In the US I go out and go to clubs, bars etc. in the Washington DC area, mostly in Maryland. One very nice place (now gone unfortunately) was a regular hangout. My Chinese girl friend (a real girl) was always there with me and we knew everyone. My girlfriend went to China to visit Mom and Dad. I kept going to the club. A very tall blond began to come in, and she was always with a large (tall and a little heavy but not much) African American. The two were a set. They were very friendly., and everyone liked them. The big African American Girl had a boy friend who treated her like dirt, but he was white. The blonde, Julia, just was so much fun to be with that I fell a little in love with her.
    On weekends the club had a live band, and Julia loved to dance but no one would dance with her. Finally one night I asked her to dance, she jumped off the bar stool and we began to dance, we did not stop all night. Several times one of my friends got me aside and told me that Julia was really a man. I just looked and said "So what?" and kept on dancing. At the end of the evening I walked Julia to her car, and we began kissing. She was embarrassed because she got hard and so did I. We rubbed each other and both had lovely orgasms. I made a date, kissed her goodnight and went home. She sent me an e-mail the next day telling me she was a "new" tranny and had only just started pills, dressing, and her breasts were still small, and she was undergoing many changes. She also said she wanted to have surgery to become a true female. I immediately asked her to move our date up and we went out to have Sushi. After the Sushi, in the parking lot we again got into a heated and most intimate session. I asked her over to my house. She said she had been waiting for me to ask all evening. We went right home. Julia had the most perfect body, small, but firm and lovely breasts, a very smooth skin, and she is a marvellous kisser! We ended up in bed. She said she probably could not have an orgasm, as she had tried to masturbate and had not achieved a climax. She achieved several that night. Julia was married, and has two lovely daughters. She would bring them with her to the club for dinner, dressed as a woman, and they did not mind at all. They are lovely little ladies, 12 and 14 years old. Julia and I had a lovely relationship. However, the club closed (was sold to another group), and she has dropped her e-mail. I cannot find her, but am still trying. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever met, and I do not care a bit that she has a penis. In fact it is much more fun! I have tried to find places in the area where such ladies go, but have been really unsuccessful. I am a professional, I have normal urges, but much prefer the TV world. The beautiful ladies who are pictured so often, and who seem to be made fun of by others are who I prefer to all others. I will keep looking for Julia, somehow I hope she reads this but that is to long a hope for me to even think of. I will look, and keep it up. I hope to find some place local where the ladies have the same equipment as I do. I do not like men at all, but the lovely ladies with the equipment are just what I love and prefer. Thank you for reading this, and I am now going out and look for Julia again.

Nov 201523

Official Shop Site

special interest

Offical shop site 



Nov 201523

Coming Out - Charlene's Story

short story

Charlene's story

  As every cross dresser is aware, the wearing of female clothing behind closed doors is very much an escapist existence. Once dressed as a woman a TV can enter into feminity in secluded bliss for as long as he/she as time. But "Coming Out" is a different matter entirely. It takes courage, conviction and painstaking detail for a TV to be thoroughly convinced that he could pass as a girl in the outside world. One mistake could lead to embarrassment, confusion and even hostility from an unaware stranger. A friend of mine, Charles, is one of the most convincing cross dressers I have ever seen. When dressed as Charlene, he transforms himself from a good looking black guy into a ravishing, slender woman, with dusky looks and a curvy figure. To look at Charlene's confident sashay, wearing the most revealing and figure hugging of dresses, one would never imagine for one moment the first "outing" by Charlene involved nerves and unbridled anxiety. Charlene tells her own story:- I'd been dressing up since I was nine, mostly in my sister's clothes and then later on my mum's, as I grew taller. By the time I was nineteen I was going out with a guy called Peter, whom I'd met through a contact magazine. I had a collection of underwear, nightdresses and a couple of dresses. I even had my own false boobs. But I had never gone outside as a girl. The girl's clothes were just part of my life with Peter - he used to get really excited to see me wearing lingerie, or a baby doll nightdress. One evening, I was sitting in his flat with him, just having a couple of drinks, and chatting. I was wearing a white lace bodyshaper, underneath a silky chemise wrap that I had bought that afternoon. The bodyshaper was with under wired cups, which pushed up my shapely false breasts. Feeling relaxed from the two glasses of wine I had drunk, and also from being in these clothes, I just giggled when Peter casually mentioned that "it was about time I went outside as a girl". I didn't really take in what he was saying until he got up, and announced that he was going to "phone for a taxi, and that we were going into town". I looked at him the sudden reality of what was going through his mind suddenly sank in. I said (stupidly): "I'll have to get changed first". He laughed, and leaned over to plant a kiss on my mouth. "Don't you think it's time that other people than myself saw how good you look dressed up?" he said. "All you have to do is put on a frock, and do your face over. You can be ready in half-an-hour?" I repeated shrilly, "Don't be stupid, Peter. Look dressing up in here with you is one thing, but outside? What of someone guesses? I could be locked up, beaten up or worse!" But underneath my babbling, I was secretly starting to look forward to the idea of being outside as a girl. Ten years of a secret double-life had just stifled a desire to show myself, and the girl I could be, to the outside world. So when Peter led me by the hand into the bedroom, I went along with the plan. I pretended reluctance, but this was just part of the teasing act I had begun. Secretly I couldn't wait to be on Peter's arm as his girlfriend, rather than his boyfriend. I picked out my best dress. It was a sleeveless white fit'n'flare number, quite short, showing off my dark skin perfectly. The bodyshaper I had on had a thong back, and Peter whistled as I walked up and down the bedroom, looking at myself in the mirror. "You tart!" he laughed. "I can see right through that dress, you know!" I phoned for a taxi. "Could I have a cab please?" I knew from years of practice that a high pitched voice would have sounded stupid, so I settled for a husky imitation of my mum's. I gave the address, and went back into the bedroom, where Peter was rubbing aftershave onto his neck.  
  When the taxi arrived, I was relieved to see through the window the driver was a man. I had always thought that a woman was more likely to rumble a TV than a man would do. Hand in hand, Peter and I walked down the stairs to the waiting car. The driver said little as he drove into town, and had given me no more than a quick glance as I got into the taxi. The dress I had on rode up well above my knees, and Peter rested his hand on my left thigh, occasionally squeezing reassuringly. I had his other hand in mine, and was so glad he was by my side for this nerve- wracking experience. I doubt that I could have seen the evening through alone. When we reached town, Peter steered me along the pavement to a "Straight" pub, one of the most popular in the area. I had secretly hoped that he would have gone to one of the gay bars we usually drink in, as I would have felt much more comfortable there. The cool breeze of the early June night blew the thin fabric of my dress against me, and I was suddenly conscious of starting to get aroused. I was glad to get into the pub, away from the public gaze. Inside the pub, we struggled through the crowds of drinkers towards the bar. I kept my eyes glued to the back of Peter's head, not daring to meet anyone's gaze. When we ordered drinks, I gulped down half my glass of wine immediately. Peter encircled my waist with his arm, and told me not to worry. It was easy for him to say. My heart had by now started to thump under the falsies, and I flitted my gaze from side to side nervously. "I'll have to visit the gents," Peter said, moving away from me. "Oh God, don't leave me alone in here!" I gasped, fearing every possible scenario. "You'll be alright. Just don't talk to any strange men in the meantime!" "Pig!" I thought, and glared at his back as he walked away. I had started to feel calmer, though, and glanced around me in a more leisurely fashion than before. I began to drink for the sheer hell of it - outside, as Charlene! I was dressed as a sexy teenage girl, and was accompanied by a hunky young man! The evening, after Peter returned, went on without major incident. I think that, once I had spent a couple of hours outside as Charlene, the nerves had begun to disappear, and I realised that I fitted in more comfortably as Charlene than Charles. I go out as Charlene several times a week now, and have been away on holiday twice where I spent the entire week dressed as a girl. Even though Peter and I are no longer a couple, I look back with a lot of fondness on our relationship. It was Peter who convinced me to go "public" as Charlene, and that I could be sexy as well as convincing as a girl. Since then, I've hardly looked back! The End  

Nov 201523

Nadia - My Story

short story

Nadia's Story

  nadiaNadia Almada wept tears of joy yesterday as she told how the nation has helped her achieve her life-long dream... to finally feel like a real woman. After nearly four million people voted for her as the fifth Big Brother winner, the 27-year-old transsexual said: "I'm overjoyed I've been accepted as a woman for the first time. It's the most amazing feeling - I could burst with happiness." The Portuguese beauty also said she now feels she at last has the confidence to find love - and is desperate to explore her sexuality. "I am a very sexual person," she said. "Of course it has not been long since I had the operation so I have not yet made love with a man. But I am desperately looking forward to it. I just can't wait to find my Mr Right!" After spending her first night out of the house celebrating with champagne Nadia, born a boy called Jorge Alamada, also revealed how she: Felt guilty for keeping her secret from housemates. Has not stopped crying since she won.nadia3 Fancied Jason - but went off him when he became aggressive. Wants to marry her dream man in a big white wedding. Nine million viewers tuned in to see Nadia win with an astonishing 61 per cent of the votes. Afterwards she said: "My whole purpose of being in the house was to feel in myself that I am a real woman. And I do now. "It was so important for me to gain acceptance as a woman, not something else. I felt guilty not telling the other housemates, but they've all now told me it doesn't matter and it doesn't change the relationship I have with them. "I feel like a real woman for the first time - and I can't even put into words how good that feels. I am so emotional. I cannot stop crying." Nadia was stunned to find her mother Conceicao, who lives in their home village on the Portuguese island of Madeira, waiting for her at the final. The pair have not seen each other for a year - since before Nadia became a full woman. They wept as they hugged each other and Conceicao told her daughter: "I'm so proud of you. You look beautiful." Nadia said: "We have always been very, very close. I have not seen her for a year because I wanted to wait until the operation was complete and until I felt comfortable with being a woman. "But there has been no problem. My mum accepts me totally and says she is very, very proud of me. That means so much to me. Seeing her again was so emotional."nadiaandmother  
  "I was so unbelievably happy that she came to see me, I can't even express how happy that made me. It was a shock but such a nice shock. We have a lot of catching up to do. I can't believe she's here! I can't wait to spend lots of time with her over the next few days. "I missed my special friends and my beautiful family so much. They have stood by me throughout everything." Nadia has not seen her father Luis Leodoro, 51, since he walked out on them when they were living in South Africa in 1992. He was tracked down to a remote town on the border with Botswana where he now makes a living stacking shelves in a shop. He only heard last week that Jorge was now a woman. But as he sipped champagne yesterday, he toasted Nadia's success and said he was counting the seconds before he would meet his new daughter. "I have been practising to make sure I call her Nadia, not Jorge," he said. "She looks so beautiful in the pictures, I cannot wait to see her in the flesh. nadia2"Nadia is extremely beautiful - perhaps the most beautiful woman our family has ever produced, though I would love her even if she wasn't beautiful." But Nadia says she is not sure whether she wanted to see Luis. Smiling wistfully, she said: "The only problem I have with my family is my dad. That goes back a lot of years. "I'm not sure whether I will see him again. I have a lot of other things to think about first." Sultry Nadia told how she at first fancied Jason in the Big Brother House and thought he had an amazing body. But she went off him after getting to know him and having shouting matches with him. She said: "I thought he was gorgeous at first, especially when he went into the house in just a leopard-skin thong. "Initially he was very attractive to me, because he is my type physically. He is a good-looking man and I noticed him admiring my breasts a few times. "But then I got to know him! Me and him clashed a bit because we are both fiery personalities. I WANT my man to be someone kind, trustworthy - that's very important - and someone who is willing to share everything with me. I am so happy right now and I would love to share that with somebody. "I would love a big white wedding. I can't wait to walk up the aisle in that dress, looking fabulous and feeling so happy. "It's every little girl's dream - and in my mind, I have always been a girl. So it's what I want so much." Nadia's only sadness is that she will never be able to bear children. Her eyes filled with tears as she said: "I got used to that idea a long time ago because I have had to. "But it still makes me sad because I would love to have a family. I don't know whether I would adopt. But I do love children." Nadia almost confessed her secret to her fellow housemates when they were talking about having babies. She had to admit she could not have children despite being young and fit - and curious housemates asked why. She admitted: "I don't like lying and before that point I hadn't really had to lie - I just didn't tell the whole truth. Nadia's sex-change op cost £15,000 - and she had it done on after arriving here from Madeira in 1999. She - then he - was assessed by a GP and a psychiatrist before being sent to a gender assessment clinic. Nadia was then put on its male-to-female programme which includes counselling, therapy and hormone treatment. She was told she had to hold down a job as a woman for at least 12 months and did a stint at Sainsbury's in Woking, Surrey.



Nov 201523

Cathy's Story (Part Two)

short story
Hello Last year I told my story of how I became a practicing transvestite, it was published as Cathy's Story. A lot has happened since then so I thought it was time for an update. I have been very surprised with how quickly my ‘femme’ life has progressed. Perhaps the biggest surprise for me was a change of name. For reasons I’m not sure, of my daughter decided I had to drop my femme name of ‘Cathy Mann’ and she wanted me to be known as ‘Helene’. Her husband felt I should take things further and create a whole female character around ‘Helene’ and when I dressed up as a woman that I should get completely into the role; I had to completely believe I was female. I was a bit taken aback by these suggestions but a girl has to do what a girl has to do and so threw myself into becoming ‘Helene’ and it has been an incredibly fun and rewarding time. I only began to dress as a woman in November 2000 at the age of 41 and now I can hardly believe or understand why I suppressed my desire to dress as a female. I truly believe I was a complete idiot not to dress up and I regret wasting over twenty years of my life denying I was a transvestite. It was the discovery of the ‘Transformation’ web site that got me started as an active practicing transvestite as the opportunity to buy wigs, dresses, high heels and of course make up in a discrete manner was exactly what I required at that time. My biggest and most exciting discovery being silicone breast forms, these were beyond my wildest imaginings and I just had to buy some! I have been learning with a passion how to dress and look female and now feel I am starting to get somewhere. It is not an easy process for the beginner but perseverance and practice eventually pay off, so if you feel you are not getting anywhere I can sympathise but stress you must endeavour with your efforts, it will work out for you, do not give up. The process of transforming myself from a male into a female is incredible fun and so liberating. When I’m finally dressed as a woman wearing my make up and walking in heels I feel on a total high, it is the most sensational feeling and I adore looking and feeling this way. My dream has always to pass as a convincing looking woman but I really believed I would never do more than dress up alone and in private. The big shock came in October 2001 when my daughter's husband asked me when I would be going out as 'Helene'. I had never considered this possibility, but the seed took hold and grew.  
  One evening in February 2002 I found myself walking out of the house and getting into my car experiencing a new sensation: my long hair was blowing in the breeze. ‘So what’ you may be thinking. Well as a man I’m bald but tonight I had long hair and what’s more tonight I was telling myself I was a woman. I had on full make up, I was wearing an elegant ladies trouser suit with a gorgeous ladies white shirt and I felt fantastic. I started up my car and set off for an hour and half’s drive to meet for the first time other transvestites, people like me, I was both nervous and excited. I had learned of a coffee evening for transvestites and made the decision to attend. I was about to venture out of the house and into the public domain, it was very exciting. I realised I could not park near the venue and I was faced with a long public walk from where I eventually parked. As I slipped out of the car and stood up in my heels on the windy February night I was thrilled and on a total high. I was about to walk for the first time in public dressed up as a woman! It was heady stuff. As I walked down the street I had to pass several people and a few small groups and I was surprised not to draw any strange looks. I realised at that moment how much imagined paranoia we transvestites suffer, the reality was quite different. I began to think maybe I actually look okay and they just see me as a woman. I began to relax and thoroughly enjoy being a girl and must admit I felt a touch of disappointment when I arrived at the venue. The night out was great and my confidence soared tremendously. I adored being out like this and chatting away with other T-girls, this was a dream come true. As with all good things the night came to an end and I set off back to my car. The pubs were emptying as I walked back and I noticed a few men looking at me when suddenly one fell in step with me and began to chat me up!!!! Total panic ensued, I’m a man, I don’t want to get involved with men and he thinks I’m a woman, what do I do? I continued walking and didn’t say a word I just smiled a lot and realised I was actually enjoying this, it was so flattering. It was the ultimate transvestite compliment, he thought I was female! Eventually I reached my car smiled sweetly and gave him a wave and drove off. I wondered how he would have reacted if he discovered I was in reality a man dressed up? I think I was fortunate as things could have gone wrong for me. It taught me to be careful. I have now been out dressed up as a woman on several occasions including a trip to Glasgow city centre during which I actually forgot I was a man! I have become so relaxed with being ‘Helene’ that I just think I’m a girl when I’m dressed ‘en femme’. Of course I only have to open my mouth and my voice is a total giveaway and I do need to refine my body language but I feel I improve all the time. I have found that now I spend time appearing as a woman that my life is enriched and more fulfilled. I have unconsciously slipped into regular things many women do. For example I was getting fed up shaving my legs and I now have them waxed every three weeks. I was waiting for my appointment in a beauty salon when a work colleague arrived and she was very surprised to see me in there. Without thinking told her I was in for my eyebrow and leg waxing, she looked totally dumbstruck! I suddenly realised I was sitting in this big salon surrounded by beauticians and only female customers. She now knows I’m a transvestite but fortunately for me she is discrete, yet another warning for me I should take more care in the future with my secret. I truly adore becoming a woman (albeit part time) it is such a fantastic experience and I would never give up being a transvestite. I feel privileged to have been born a transgendered person and that I can now experience life in both genders, I really do believe that transvestites are special people. It is so wonderful not to be constrained by conventional roles and of course dressing up is such fun. I for one would have it no other way.   Lots of love, Helene (Formerly Cathy) XX

Nov 201523

Stephanie's Blog

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Stephanie's Blog

  The second series of Hotel Stephnaie went out on BBC ! Wales last Tuesday 14th September to rave reviews and great viewing figures which is great and gave me the boost I needed as I'm always very nervous when something new is happening. If you missed it you can still check it out using BBC I Player. This series mainly concentrates on me opening up a new hotel, The Wynnstay Arms Hotel in Wrexham in North Wales and all the trials and tribulation that opening a new hotel entails. Check us out on Facebook, The Transformation page is now up and running so keep in touch and see what's going on here in the Transformation offices !!! Lots of half price offers at the moment - check out Weekly Deal. Hormones and breast forms are half price with some that are even more than half price !! Why not stock up or try someting new and get your feminisation programme off to a great start. Remember if you need any advice or would like us to set up your own personal programme then drop us an email or give us a ring and we will set that up for you. Your Friend Stephanie xx

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