Emma’s Story – Holy Grail



I had agreed to go training with my job in the south of England. This would take me away from home for two weeks. I leaped at the chance as I do not get the opportunity to dress up that often and these times away from home are ideal. My mind went into overdrive as I plotted how to buy the gear and what I was going to choose. I had two weeks to plan and execute a military style project to re-wardrobe myself. As with many transvestites I had bought and discarded my clothing, make-up and cheap wigs on many occasions. As I set out planning this trip it was likely to be no different. I had cause to go into work for an hour but stretched it out for a whole afternoon to go ‘girlie’ shopping. I’ve used the term in my mind before to justify my need to cross-dress. This often helps me make up white lies to explain away why I might be buying a lovely skirt or fitted blouse.frilledblouselacyskirt

My first visit was to buy some lingerie. I found the most beautiful bodice and knickers in a deep purple and black. A lovely set of stockings would set it off a treat. My story of an anniversary present worked perfectly as ever. I often find a desperate urge to literally tell the assistant the true story and see their faces. I resist as I think it might shock them into an early grave. Oh well onto look for a blouse and skirt. I knew the skirt I wanted, short in black suede with possibly a small split. As no doubt many of you have found, we transvestites cannot be too choosy sometimes. However I found a fabulous leather skirt, size 14 (just me) no split but just above the knee for £14. Since it should have been £50, I took it. This time it was a birthday present for my wife. I trawled round for a blouse but couldn’t see any that would either fit or look good. In the last shop I visited I immediately went to the reduced rack and saw the most gorgeous ‘bolero’ style Chinese blouse. It was also a size 14 though I usually need a 16 but at £10 it was a must, especially as it was £65 to start with.

Well I had the garments and well great. So what do I do now? My recent ventures into the world of cross-dressing had been pretty good. I was now, however becoming a bit picky about the cosmetics I bought. It has to be Maybelene or Max Factor. I feel that if I want to pass I should look the best I can. My favourite purchase was Maybelene’s Watershine Diamond lipstick and I am sure the cashier thought something was odd. I have to admit walking out a bit exhilarated at the thought of someone guessing. So now I had the clothes and the cosmetics, all I needed was the wig and I would be happy. The only question was how to get it. Do

I use my previous reason “A stag doo to Amsterdam dressed as women”����

It was at this point I re-visited the Transformation website for the umpteenth time. I browsed the shop links and drooled. I looked at all the wigs and dreamed of which I would choose if I could afford them. Then I found the shoe link and though how fabulous to have a pair of ‘Penny’s’. I could not believe it as I realised I was then wishing I had a pair of my very own breastforms. This was further than my mind had ever wandered before. I could feel nervous sensations in my tummy that was simply exciting.

“Right, I’m going to do it”. I consciously decided to visit a Transformation shop. My local, although 40 miles away is only 7 miles from work and we employ a 1000 people so that was out. I decided to go to the Birmingham branch on my way down south. A perfect location as it is just off the M6/M5 on my way to London. Then I thought “why not go to the London Euston shop”. I’ll park at Watford and get the train right to it. As with everything I do it was military precision. Out at 5am, Watford at 8.30am, train at 8.50am, Euston at 9.10am, 2 hours in shop, train back at 11am and onto my destination of Basildon for 1pm. I had the ticket for the train and it was a perfect journey up to Milton Keynes, I was ahead of schedule. My heart had been pounding all the way down at the sheer excitement. But it took 2.5 hours to go 160 miles and another hour to go 20. I was so depressed. Anyway I managed to get the 9.18am train and got to Euston by 9.45am. By now I was dizzy with excitement and desperate to get into the shop. I could actually feel myself going light headed as I neared my holy grail.



I exited Euston Station onto Eversholt Street and turned left. I kept saying “just walk in, just walk in” but as I neared I started getting very scared. What if someone is watching or taking photographs. Well I couldn’t do it and I walked on the other side past the door by about 100yards. I then got Dutch courage and turned on my heels, “just fu****g go for it yer weed”. As I turned there were about 4 people infront of me but I acted as normally as I could, walked up to the door and “My God, I’m in”.

Even now I cannot tell you how I felt, just emotionally overwhelmed. I could hear my heart sing and I was genuinely breathless with emotion. I spoke to Sally and Maggie and said “This is my first time and you are the only people in the world who now know what I do”. The both smiled so lovingly and asked me if I wanted a cup of tea, DID I..! It was Sally who looked after me and we talked for ages as I told her my life story, and it’s a long one (thanks Sally). I felt so at ease and soon realised I had a new TRUE friend.

Sally asked me what was the purpose of my visit and she showed me the wigs and shoes. I ended up buying a sexy strawberry blonde shoulder length bob and a pair of those Penny shoes with a perfect 2″ heel. At 6’2″ those would be just right. We then got talking about breastforms and Sally dressed me in a corset, bra and fitted the ‘crème-de-la-crème’ reactive breastforms. She pulled in the waist and for the first time in my life I arrived as a woman. I felt my whole world change before my eyes, but the sad fact was that the cost was a bit too much, for now. However I did go out with the cheaper foam ones to give the illusion. I could not thank Sally enough for the time she had spent with me. I had been able to share a wonderful part of my life with somebody. Until this moment I had felt like a bit of a freak.

My first visit to Transformation was wonderful and within a week I had visited a further two times and taken the chance of a changeaway on both occasions. Sally wasn’t in the following Monday but I saw a familiar face in Maggie. I was only visiting because I wanted to look around again and had no intention of a changeaway. However I kept thinking this would be my last chance for a very long time. Should I do it even though I would only get 2 hours? I went for it and Maggie took care of me as if I were her own. I won’t elaborate here but if you read the website on topic, that is just what I would write. I was overjoyed at the results and felt a million dollars walking up the stairs. I have always felt feminine and this has only helped to reinforce my feelings. Now I couldn’t wait for a second chance. Which would be much sooner than I thought�.

My second changeaway was even better as I had all the time afforded to me. By chance on my last day down south, I left Basildon very early so decided to go back on the spur of the moment. I had no other intention than to go for a changeaway again. It still exited me to walk in the doors but I now had no fears. Sally was in on this occasion and I was really pleased. My second changeaway was even better, no offence to Maggie at all. The dress we chose together and the underwear were perfect. Sally did my make-up as I asked, subtle and simple.

I have taken great care about learning how to apply make-up for over 10 years now. When Sally applied my wig I totally transformed. I could not even recognize myself, and I do not say that lightly. I was now as close to a real a woman as I had wished to be all my life. What was more worrying was that I looked better than my wife does. The most fantastic parts of the day were yet to come.

I had blokes in the shop eying me up all the time and I had one guy who took time to talk to me. He wanted to tell me how ‘fabulous’ (his words) I looked and could he look at what underwear I was wearing. I pulled up my dress, swishing my hips from side to side and played with my corset, panties, bra and stroked my size C boobs as if I were a flirty woman. The guy in question was obviously excited, touched me in various places and felt my boobs. I nearly fainted. I am not gay at all and will never try that side of life out, but the thought of being chatted up was thrilling and proof that I passed. . I felt like my world was complete.



It is amazing how things change. Not 2 weeks earlier my Holy Grail was to visit Transformation. Now my dreams had changed and I wanted to step out into the limelight, this was now my Holy Grail. Even at 6’2″ I have become quite convincing as a woman. I blame Sally completely for my newfound brazen attitude. I had never even told anyone of my desires until that Monday when I stepped in the shop at Euston.

In the following two weeks I stepped out (fully made up) of my hotel room every night and walked round the hotel and went for drives. I was careful to not be seen but to be truthful I wanted people to see me but if I didn’t make eye contact with them that was fine. At least I was as careful as I could be but when you step out in broad daylight someone is going to see you. This happened but the woman who saw me (not two feet away) looked up and then looked back down and carried on with her meal. If most didn’t see me they certainly heard me in those beautiful shoes as they made that sexy click on the pathways. To be honest I had female neighbours every evening I stayed and I was secretly desperate for them to walk out of their room at the same time I did to catch me dressed up.

It is amazing how things change when you face what you are and stop being embarrassed. For me this is so much so that I have made the decision to tell my little sister, of 31 years old. I always wanted to be her big sister not big brother; I hope she will be as open-minded as I believe she will be.

As I write I am planning how to break the news and we have already got the same day off together. She thinks were having a ‘bonding’ day, she even said “let’s do something really mad”, no word of a lie. What a surprise she is going to get when she finds out how mad. I have already worked out to tell her over lunch and have booked a hotel room to take her to so I can change for her. She will be amazed at the transformation but I am prepared for some denial and resentment in the early stages. I believe we will become closer than she can ever imaging. It is a pity I will never be able to share this with my wife. She would see such a caring, loving, sharing person; our marriage would be blessed, oh well�It is inspiring that my new dream (my ultimate Holy Grail) is to go out dressed up with my sister possibly round Soho, London or maybe the Gay Village, Manchester. I will do it one day but it will take courage.



At the top of my story I said that this trip was likely to be no different to any other. I could not have been more wrong and for the first time I will not be discarding what I have now come to accept as part of my life.

The Story Begins�..

Lots of love

Emma XXX

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