WARDROBE BASICS FOR ALL T-GIRLS

Assuming you are going for an INSTANT MALE TO FEMALE TRANSFORMATION then the following is the essential items you will need for your feminine wardrobe.

 

Breast forms - For the authentic feel, look & movement of real female breasts then guaranteed for life Siloxane Silicone Breasts are the best investment but cheaper foam & latex alternatives are available, some crossdressers even use water filled balloons!!

 

Bra - Choose a full cup bra and get one white and one black to start with

 

Body Shaping - You want to achieve an hourglass shape so a waist clincher or corset is necessary to achieve a narrower waistline and then add thigh and bottom shapers. A cache-sex or latex vagina panties will ensure that your manhood does not make an unwelcome appearance

 

Tights/Stockings - Choose sheer black or dark tan but avoid fishnet and seamed variants during the daytime

 

Outerwear - Every woman has a black outfit as it is so versatile and slimming. An A-line or flared skirt will feminise your shape. Avoid tight clingy tops or horizontal stripes and wear a contrast loose fitting jacket to disguise large shoulders

 

Footwear - Choose black court shoes with low heels or boots or sandals according to the season

 

Wig - Choose a colour similar to your natural hair colour but avoid black at all costs. One with highlights is a good choice and a length in keeping with your age with curls or waves soften and feminise your face

 

Neck Scarf - Wearing a colourful neck scarf can add a splash of colour to your outfit and also disguise your Adam's apple This is not an exhaustive list but gives you the basics to begin with. Use black as your default colour choice and remember to wear a white bra under white or light coloured tops. The clothes women choose to wear is governed by the weather, time of day and occasion so once again spend time observing them and their outfits avoiding anything that will draw undue attention to you. Better to be understated than overdressed and although it may seem an anathema to you, feminine trousers (again in black) can form the basis of a great look. Being a woman is never easy even when you are born one and if genetic females agonise over what to wear don't beat yourself up if it takes some time and experimentation to achieve a look that makes you fell comfortable in your own skin Happy window shopping and if you need help just send us a photo and we will provide some personal advice and as always it will be free Very best wishes from your T-Girl sister, Stephanie



FREE ADVICE SO YES YOU CAN!!!

No matter what your age, appearance or anything else you can effect a convincing male to female transformation and over 31 years I have helped many thousands do so either as a convincing crossdresser who passes without a second glance to T-Girls who seek a more permanent male to female transition and wish as I did to live permanently as a woman I have been a post-op transsexual for 35 years so not only can I advise you for free but I can teach you the 'secret tips & shortcuts' that I have personally used. Only someone who has actually lived the feminine dream can truly advise you in every minute details Most T-Girls don't want to look like a guy in drag and effect a falsetto voice that will just make you sound 'camp' If you want to look and feel like a glamorous confident sexually attractive REAL woman then there is nobody in the world who is in a better position to help you achieve this. At www.transformation.co.uk you can access for FREE our vast collection of resource material, FAQ's, life stories and even download my own autobiography. As a not-for-profit organisation products represent just a tiny part of our website. (All of our products carry our You can rest assured that when you register with us your details are held in an off-line database so that no-one can ever 'hack' into it. We do not share or rent customers details with anyone which is why since 1984 Transformation has built a reputation of confidential crossdressing expertise. Every week I add a new blog which forms part of our online archive material but if you can't wait over many years we have added to the resource section and FAQ's that you can get the answer to just about any related question you care to ask. If you want a confidential chat with ones of our girls then that is also a free option. We are based in the UK and are available for live chat from 9am -5pm weekdays (GMT) If you live in another time zone or the times are not convenient then all you have to do is email us and we will respond to you personally on the next working day. Doctor Temperli is a leading world endocrinology (hormone) specialist and I have the real long life practical experience so together we can give you the best advice and support and all for free You can live your feminine dream, pass convincingly with expert tuition on makeup, dress, deportment, speech and so much more and unlike any other source IT'S ALL FOR FREE If you search the web you will find many others, even genetic females trying to sell you advice with slick videos and seductive marketing. JUST ASK YOURSELF WHY PAY WHEN YOU CAN GET IT ALL FOR FREE FROM THE WORLD'S LEADING CROSSDRESSING EXPERTS????? With very best wishes from your T-Girl sister Stephanie Transsexual Founder of Transformation Cross dressing experts since 1984

WHY TRANSFORMATION IS SO DIFFERENT

  Since 1984 Transformation has spawned many competitors so now the internet is teeming with companies supplying products to the transgender community and most are pretty much the same selling inferior Chinese made silicone breasts, large size women's clothing, shoes etc, and if that is all you want then Transformation is not for you. For 31 years, Transformation has operated as a not-for-profit specialist supplier. Funded by our transsexual founders supermarket millionaire husband, literally millions have been invested in research and product development so we can offer superior products designed and produced to offer the most convincing male to female transformation, whether you just want to instantly cross dress, develop your own female breasts or want to undergo a permanent transition. We are the only specialist supplier offering a cutting-edge range of female hormones, produced by Switzerland's leading endocrinologist. We worked with a German specialist to develop a superior silicone breast using medical grade 'siloxane' which replicates the feel, weight, movement and even reactive nipples that are so realistic that the UK's National Health Service (NHS) purchase them from us for post mastectomy patients. In our own manufacturing facility we produce unique latex realistic vagina panties. These range from our original VEE G-String, to our best selling WEE VEE which allows you not only look like a woman when naked but to sit and pee like one. The time consuming multiple dipping process, hand finishing even down to painting the internal vagina which is authentic having labia lips, clitoris etc. We NEVER rent, sell or divulge your contact details to anyone else Transformation is also the only company that offers a 100% guarantee on EVERY single product we supply. If you are unhappy with any product you receive simply return it for a full refund Free advice is always available from our customer service girls between 8am - 5pm Monday to Friday (UK time) We are the leading experts because Stephanie, our transsexual founder underwent a sex-change operation 35 years ago so can give you the benefits of her personal experience and then add in the world's leading endocrinologist (hormone expert) and you have a formidable bank of specialist knowledge to draw on and it's all for free We view our customers as valued members of the Transformation family, we will always ensure you get the very best products at the lowest possible prices Thank you for joining the circle of trust that exemplifies the spirit of Transformation Transformation Unique not-for-profit crossdressing experts for 31 years 1984 - 2015



All About Our Silicone Breast Forms

 

This article is all about our our Silicone Breast forms

 

Are the prices shown for single forms or pairs?

All our silicone breast forms are sold in pairs, and the prices quoted are for pairs.

 

 

Is there a sizing chart for the silicone breasts?

Yes!

 

  Small   Medium   Large   X-Large  
UK / USA  34 36 38 40 42 44 46 48
Europe  75 80  85 90  95 105  110 125 
International  AA A B C D DD E F

 

Please note sizes are approximate.

 

 

What skin tones are available?

Unfortunately we currently only offer one skin tone, which is the flesh tone of an average white person.

 

 

Are the breast forms guaranteed?

Yes, all our breast forms are guaranteed for 2 years, so long as they are looked after well and not unreasonably abused.

 

 

What Choices Do I Have ?

We have 4 choices of silicone breast forms on the Transformation site.

 

Realistic Silicone Breast Forms - So realistic are that that the UK's NHS buy these from us for post-surgery mastectomy patients for those that prefer life-like silicone breast out-plants. They look like, feel like and move just like amazing real breasts or bosoms.  Perfect instant fake breasts for transvestites and crossdressers.

 

Tear drop realistic boob shape, with feathered edges, hollowed out backs , complete with brown pert nipples . These great value ,true to life  silicone breasts  will fit you perfectly for an instant male to female transformation.

 

Natural Silicone Breasts - Transformation are worlds largest supplier of realistic  breast forms, silicone boobs and bosoms . Bought worldwide by crossdressers , transvestites and females who have undergone surgical mastectomies. The Transformation breast store, stock only the top of the range, pure medical grade silicone breasts. that both feel and look natural. These life-like breast prosthetics replicate exactly the natural bouncing  breast movement of a women’s breasts. Tear drop shaped, flesh coloured, with a silky soft membrane skin. Complete with realistic coloured mocha nipples that will protrude ever so slightly through your lacy bra.

 

Amazing Silicone Breasts - These are the Crème de la Crème of realistic Silicone breasts and your own body’s heat will transform the feel and movement of the medical grade silicone breast gel so it both feels and moves as if it is a part of you. The silicone will loosen and wobble and ripple as you move.  The unique  hand sculptured mocha nipples also react to heat and cold, becoming softer or pert and erect nipples just as do a women’s nipples.  When worn these breast forms will replicate the position across your body giving you the  natural breast fall/drape and look of women's bosoms. Supplied by Transformation  to the NHS, for post surgery mastectomy patients.

 

Largest, Massive Silicone Breasts - Although they are simply massive silicone breasts they are still very realistic breasts, and don’t look like fake breasts. These huge boobs cup size H/HH need to be supported by a strong  bra as they replicate the correct  substantial weight of female breasts of this size.      



WIGS

  wigWhat kind of wig would suit my face? Different faces suit different hairstyles - here is a guide
  • Oval - As its name implies, the Oval Shaped Face is longer than wide, with a jaw that's narrower than the cheekbones. Because the oval shaped face has no dominant areas and is so proportional, this face looks good with just about any hairstyle, length or texture. WGS106
  • Round shaped face - a wide hairline and fullness below the cheekbones. These faces look very good with a geometric or linear style. Add height, when possible, and long, wispy side areas to make the cheeks look narrow. Comb hair close to the head on the side and at the nape.
  • WGS104Square Shape Face - comprises of a wide hairline and jaw. Square shaped faces need height on top and narrowness at the sides. Comb the hair off the forehead to add height to the face. Curly texture and wisps of hair around the face break the wide, straight lines common to the square face.
  • The Diamond Shape Face - is characterized by a narrow chin and forehead with wide cheekbones. Diamond shaped faces need narrow sides and fullness at the chin. Bobs work very well for this shape. Avoid wearing height on top or volume on the sides. Use some fringe or bang to cover narrow forehead.WGS100
  • WGS110The HEART Shape Face - has a wide forehead and a narrower chin. Bring some hair onto the forehead to disguise its width. Keep hair close to the head at the eyes but make it slightly full around the jaw, and below and in front of the earlobes.
  • PEAR Shape Face - is characterized by a small or narrow forehead and a rather large pouchy-appearing jawline. Comb hair to add width from the eye level through the crown of the head. Set and comb hair close to the head on the sides and at the nape.WGS069
  • The OBLONG Shape Face is characterized by a very long and narrow bone structure. The client who has an oblong facial shape often has a long, thin neck. Use a fringe or half-bang across the forehead by creating soft waves or curls in the crown and nape areas. This helps to create the illusion of an oval.WGS068
What colour wig will suit me? Often eye colour helps us select a wig colour. We know that red is opposite to green and blue and as such, sets up a beautiful contrast. Blue eyes are a standout when framed with a red wig. Once we decide to go to red, we look at complexion to select the proper red, with fair complexions favoring the light reds, such as Irish Red, and dark complexions favoring the auburns. WGS105Complexion is also a very important guide in selecting hair colour. A strong contrast such as a pale complexion with jet black hair, is great for making people notice your face, but you'd better have a Snow White clear complexion as well. Strong contrast causes the eye to see complexions very clearly, and if that is a good feature for you, you should consider toning down the contrast a bit. You can go too far when toning down contrast. With no contrast at all, your face gets lost completely, like a painting without a frame. We often see this at our salon very often. It can be an interesting effect, but it's not one you normally would want to live with day in and day out. Dark Complexions and eye colours can still benefit from some contrast with hair colour. Often a dark brown complexion will be set off with light chocolate hair, or  jet black. Then light brown complexions get contrast with dark brown hair. It's a vice-versa sort of thing, with the big idea being to get some contrast. The amount of contrast is up to you, remembering that strong contrast causes the eye to focus and pay attention. After the eye is done paying attention, the brain makes decision as to whether or not it likes what it has seen, based on myriads of reasons which include believability. But even the unbelievable can be beautiful. That's one of the great things about wigs. They allow you to change, without really changing. What size wig should I order? Men and women tend to have similar sizes of heads. In fact a lot of women have larger heads than some men. So gender isn't really a factor in head size. The wigs do adjust and are meant to fit smugly. Many men can wear the women's styles of wigs. Just like clothing and shoes, they are slightly different in shape and size even though they are sized as "average". The only other "size" besides average, is "petite" and these do have a much smaller size cap. If your head is unusually small, then you can wear a petite although not many wigs come in petite. If you are looking for petite sized wigs, type the word petite in the search box. How do I put my wig on? Firstly secure your hair. Turn your wig partially inside out. You will see two little tabs about where a man's sideburns would be on the wig. Those tabs end up over your temples and are what you use to tug the wig on. Hold the tabs and put the wig across your forehead. Pull in on the best you can and gently pull the back down over the wig cap. Re-center the wig using the tabs... push the wig back a bit... don't have it too far down. Fit on the wig cap can sometimes be adjusted just by adjusted the tabs at the bottom of the wig cap... are there little bits of elastic and hooks or Velcro there??? Adjust the edges so it feels comfortable. Determine in advance how much stress you're putting on the wig before you wear it for the day. If you are going to be wearing a wig all day or while doing strenuous things (like larp or all day at a faire). Be sure to pin the wig down securely. The wefts of the wig can be hair pinned in. For all day strenuous wear... recognize that it is going to be like wearing a very warm cap. Don't get overheated Sometimes the cap might fit, but the wig might be too full and need to be trimmed down. It is a good idea to have the wig cut at a salon so that the hair length fits the face of the person wearing it. If your hair is short, the wig will just fit over it and you can tuck in anything that may stick out. If your hair is long, it is quite likely you can fit all your hair in without a lump. I have seen long curly hair flatten down enough to wear a very short pixie. It just takes some practice. It will need to be put up and flattened-- preferably with a wig cap--so that it doesn't "pouf out" and make lumps in the wig. Do NOT make a bun. The wig should fit snugly, with the bottom of the wig all the way down to the nape of your neck, and the front of the wig up to your front hairline, somewhat like a swim cap. There may even be ear tabs on the sides that fit in front of your ears and help you to get the wig on straight. If it is too loose or two tight, take the wig off, adjust the tabs at the nape, and try it on again. The wig will need to be brushed or "finger combed" into place once it is on you head. You may secure the wig to your own hair with hair pins. Or if you do not have hair, you may used toupee tape. Do the wigs come styled like in the picture? Do I have to style them myself? All our wigs are designed to be easy to wear and require the minimum of effort to style. How long will my wig last? Human and synthetic can last about the same amount of time. A wig can last from a few months to several years. Like clothing, it depends on how well you treat them and how often you wear them. On the average, a wig lasts about 6 months if worn everyday. What makes a wig more convincing? If you find a basic style that you like but think it is too full or too long, it is best to keep the wig instead of returning it, and having it trimmed to fit your individual face. Remember just because you have bought an expensive wig, that does not mean the style it is going to look good on you. Will wearing a wig ruin my natural hair? Hair grows on the average about a half an inch a month. Pressure does not keep hair from growing. The only thing that will stop hair from growing is lack of circulation or clogged pores.Stay away from "wax" conditioners (like cream rinses). Also, your scalp does need to be stimulated. I highly suggest massaging your scalp vigorous about 15 minutes daily. This can be accomplished by brushing your scalp maybe before you go to bed or while watching TV or reading. It will keep the hair follicles clear and the blood flow going to the roots. I also suggest using our human hair leave-in detangler. It contains a conditioner that helps the skin and hair follicle. How do I care for my wig? Storage - when you remove your wig, keep it on a wig stand (or "head form") to maintain the shape. Smooth out straight hair or fluff curls with a wire brush or pick. Cover with a hair net that holds the style without matting. Avoid leaving your wig near heat (radiators, vents), humidity (showers), or dusty areas. Wearing - once you have become accustomed to your wig, it's easy to go about your daily activities. Just remember to avoid blasts of heat - such as quickly opening an oven door - on synthetic wigs. When cooking, please be sure not to open the oven while wearing your wig. Also, try not to expose the wig to any other heat source, such as a blow dryer, curling iron, clothes dryer, etc. You can use regular mousse daily on synthetic and human hair wigs for extra body and a more natural look and feel. Can I wash my wig? If you are washing a synthetic wig use shampoo and conditioner made specifically for synthetic wigs (do not use a mild shampoo as it will cause the hair to oxidize). Remember to:
  • Put the wig on a styrofoam head or wig saver after washing (do not use cans, lamps, etc.)
  • Use hairsprays made specifically for synthetic wigs.
  • Do not use any form of human hair mousse, gels or spritzers.
  • Any type of heat will cause wig fibres to frizz (lamps, ovens/stoves, heat from body).
  • Do not attempt to cut the wig or hairpiece as it must be professionally done.
  • Do not use use any form of curling irons, hot rollers or blow dryers.
  • We recommend using a Silicon spray to protect the synthetic hair from frizzing, drying out and fading.
Shampooing frequency depends on wearing frequency. Generally, a wig should be washed after every 6-8 wearings in warm climates or after every 12-15 wearings in coolers ones. However, if you're especially active, use heavy hairspray, or live in an especially humid or poor air quality climate, you should wash about once a week to remove excess perspiration and dirt.

STAND BY YOUR BOARD

  Getting In The Mood So the first stage is to dress for the part, get yourself mentally attuned as a diligent housewife. Skirts must be worn at all times, preferably protected by a pretty apron or pinafore. Setting The Temperature. First look at the care label on the garment to see what fabric it is made from, and what setting the manu- facturers recommend. Some irons actually have a fabric guide the majority do not. Most irons now have thermostatic settings symbolised by a series of dots You just set the iron to the setting marked on the care label. The symbols most commonly used are these: If you are in doubt, please do be cautious. Start with a cool iron and if this doesn't seem to do the trick increase the temperature until the creases dissapear. How easily this happens will also depend on the moisture in the garment, so let's look at judging the moisture. Judging The Moisture. Just like when you first learned to walk in high heels, judging whether your clothes are too damp or too dry to iron is all a matter of balance. If the clothes are too wet when they are ironed you will get a poor finish and they will probably need ironing later. But then again if the fabric has been allowed to get too dry it is often impossible to achieve a smooth, crisp finish. And we do want it crisp, don't we? For most common |fabrics you will need Ito iron them when they are just slightly damp to the touch. If they are already dry, either use the steam setting if your iron has one, or use a small spray such as you might buy for household plants. Just be careful with silk and viscose as these fabrics will show water marks and so should not be sprayed. Chiffon, Practise your technique georgette, crepe and acrylic fibres should only be ironed when they are completely dry.
    Practice Is Perfect Now we have covered the basics of ironing it is time to pop on your pinnies, stand by your boards and practise your technique. Are we all ready? So let's make a start. 1. Dampen the garment if necessary and set your iron to the required temperature for the garment to be ironed. 2. Iron the hems and the seams first, before moving on to the collars, then sleeves and pockets, and finally the main body of the garment. 3. As a general rule always iron in the direction of the grain of the fabric using long, smooth strokes over as large an area as possible. The exceptions to these are: Iron fine wool with a light circular motion. Iron knitted rayon diagonally. Iron embroidery on the wrong side over a thick blanket or pad. Iron tucks and gathers with the point of the iron. Iron heavier materials by laying a damp, lint free cloth on top. This is the only way to get crisp pleats in skirts. And remember girls, once you have taken all this trouble to get your clothes looking neat and smart, do be careful about how you then hang them up. Try to ensure you have enough cupboard space to allow your blouses, dresses and skirts to hang freely. If that means you have to be ruthless at times and actually pass on some of your little worn clothes to Oxfam, so be it. If you are in doubt, please do be cautious. Start with a cool iron and if this doesn't seem to do the trick increase the temperature until the creases dissapear. How easily this happens will also depend on the moisture in the garment, so let's look at judging the moisture.

EXFOLIATING YOUR SKIN

  exfoliateSteps: 1. Brush dry skin before getting into the shower. You can use either a loofah, exfoliating gloves or a body exfoliating brush. Start at the soles of the feet and work your way up. 2. Get into the bath or shower and wet your entire body. 3. Apply exfoliating cleanser to your loofah or exfoliating brush or gloves. 4. Scrub your body with it, using gentle, circular motions. 5. Opt for grainy types of cleansers to clean the skin, rather than soap. Choose exfoliating cleansers that contain ingredients such as oatmeal, ground almonds or even sea salt. The grainy texture exfoliates the skin. 6. Make your own exfoliating cleanser, if you prefer. Mix sea salt, olive oil and lemon shower 2juice together, or mix ground almonds and powdered milk. The combinations are endless. 7. Use a washcloth for mild exfoliation. 8. Rub rough spots, such as heels, with a pumice stone or stick. 9. Apply lotion containing alpha or beta hydroxy acids after you exfoliate. This will continue the exfoliating process because the acids further abrade and remove dead skin cells. 10. Be sure to use body moisturizers at least once every day. Regular exfoliating is extremely drying to the skin and will do more harm than good unless the skin is rehydrated liberally with lotions. Tips: Some products are more abrasive than others. If your skin is very sensitive, use as little friction as possible and stick to the least abrasive products. Warning: Never overexfoliate with excessively abrasive exfoliating cleansers, or you run the risk of bursting the delicate blood vessels under the skin. If the vessels burst, your skin may appear permanently flushed. This condition, known as telangiectasia, must then be treated using laser surgery.

CACHE SEX HOW DO THEY WORK

 

When you were born everything is up inside the abdomen. Now years later, the cavity is still there. In the pictures your have seen the people may have tucked everything back up inside this cavity. Sometimes the opening to the cavity is small and a doctor is required to help drop the tissue down. Mostly the opening to the cavity is large enough to move the tissue up into the cavity without any problem and then if not held in place, the tissue falls back into the normal position. The straps on the cache sex should hold the tissue in place without any problems.

 

This is where a cache sex comes in. Once the tissue is in place, the cache sex holds it in place. Some people use tape and shave the area.



LEARNING TO WALK PROPERLY

  A graceful walk is actually good posture in motion; the traditional training method is to practice with a book on your head. Now, balancing a book (or anything else) on top of your head forces your body into proper alignment – and that is the foundation of both good posture and an attractive walk! Here’s how your body should shape up when alignment is correct: rib cage vertical, not tilted forward or backward… pelvis straight (if you had a tail, it would hang straight down, not tucked under between your legs!)… knees and feet pointing straight ahead. A plumb line would fall just in front of ankle bone, just behind kneecap, through center of hip joint and middle of waist, shoulder, ear lobe. (If you’d like to check yourself out, you can hang a tape measure down a full-length mirror and see.) When you walk, your footprints should look like this: Feet are turned out just the tiniest bit and placed in almost a straight line – only an inch or two apart. The length of your stride is determined by how tall you are and how long your legs are. (Average stride is about one foot for women.) If you are long-legged and take small strides, your walk may be of the mincing variety… like a goose, it looks silly! Conversely, if you’re petite and have a long stride, you may look like a drill sergeant pompously marching along, and you need to shorten your stride a bit. In doubt about your footprint pattern? Try walking barefoot in wet sand. How your body’s weight is distributed when you stand or walk is vital.   The Mensendieck method of body mechanics advocates training muscles to automatically maintain the “balanced standing position:” Weight is not on heels, but on the “inner margin ball” of the foot, just behind the big toe. Place your feet in a parallel position, tighten buttocks and inner thigh muscles, lower the shoulder blades and stretch the spine, pulling your head back and up (never let your head poke forward like a turtle). There! That’s the balanced standing position, and, once in it, your figure will look its very best! Now, relax a bit (but keep your weight on the inner margin ball of your feet), and start walking slowly. Swing legs from the hip socket (without twitching derriere at every step!) and keep your body aligned: shoulders level, head up and back, shoulder blades lowered, rib cage vertical. With each step, your heel hits the ground first… then weight instantly rolls forward along the outside edge of foot onto the big toe – with which you push off for the next step. This shift of weight is done smoothly, with a continuous, fluid motion. Now that you know what to do, here are some don’ts: Don’t toe in or toe out… shift hips from side to side… take giant strides or tiny baby steps… lead with your head… swing your shoulders… bob up and down. That’s all there is to it! Happy walking… You never looked better! Article kindly published from Karen Ann Taylor's Transgender and Information Library  

SHOULD I TELL THE ONE I LOVE

Whichever path we choose only one thing can be certain, unless you are very lucky indeed you are likely to endure much heartache and frustration along the way. If the answer is no, you may be committing yourself to a life of secrecy and deceit, if the answer is yes, you will probably run the risk of being misunderstood and rejected. Of course, this will not be the case for everyone and I can only draw on my own experiences to come to these conclusions. However, I am pretty sure that there must be plenty of other transvestites out there whose story is not that different than mine. I can remember being as young as twelve years old standing naked in front of a mirror with my boyfriend carefully tucked out of sight innocently admiring a reflection that had a strange hint of femininity about it. At this time I had no idea why I did this, all I know was that it felt pleasant and comforting. At sixteen having secured a Saturday job and having some spare money, I found myself inexplicably purchasing woman's underwear, wonderfully soft silky and delicate panties and bras. I built up quite a collection. Whenever I was alone I would select my favourite items, put them on and spend hours parading in front of the all-important mirror savouring the pleasant feeling it gave me. To my absolute horror my secret collection was discovered by my mother and for the first time in my life I was made to feel guilt and shame for my behaviour. Despite being hurt and confused by the subsequent anger and derision, I quickly replaced my confiscated belongings, found a more secure hiding place and continued to dress up as often as possible. At seventeen I met and fell in love with my first real girlfriend, Irene, and as our relationship blossomed I longed to let her in on my little secret, but the right moment never seemed to come. When we arranged to spend a weekend away together at a caravan park in the countryside an idea suddenly occurred to me. As we unpacked I feigned annoyance telling my girlfriend that I had forgotten to take any spare underwear with me. I managed to persuade Irene to lend me some of her's and she gave me a pair of skimpy powder-blue satin panties. Feelings Later on in the local pub she playfully teased me that the outline of her panties were clearly visible through my trousers and what would all the other customers think if they know what I was wearing. I had engineered the situation but failed to take full advantage of it and express my true feelings, something I have always regretted. Instead we laughed and joked about it, I suggested that maybe I could borrow some of her underwear in the future but this was met with a cool response. The act of wearing those panties in her presence and with her full knowledge was an extremely elating experience, but not wishing to upset Irene I pushed the matter no further. However, I could not stop the compulsive desire to dress up and so I carried on in private and my little collection started to grow. I obtained a skirt and blouse, a dress, more underwear and some makeup. Our love for each other grew and at eighteen we married, moved away from home and started to make a life together.We were very happy together, but I felt that there was something missing, I desperately wanted to tell my new wife about my peculiar habit, but could not find the words or the courage to do so. As a compromise, keeping my own feminine belongings well hidden, I suggested that it might be fun for me to dress up in some of her clothes as a game, a prelude to sex. In my naivety I imagined that this solution would make it easier for Irene to accept my needs to cross-dress and that, although it was not exactly what I wanted, I at least had the opportunity to dress in feminine clothes in her presence.  
  Uncomfortable I should have been more honest and come clean, it was an uncomfortable arrangement for the both of us. Although Irene let me indulge myself it was far from perfect, she was confused that her husband, a man, should want to wear her clothes for no apparent reason other than a game, and for my part I was gaining very little pleasure from these occasional opportunities. For me, dressing as a woman had nothing to do with sexual gratification, I didn't want to become a woman and I definitely wasn't gay, and yet because of my inability to express my true feelings those were the thoughts that were going through my wife's mind. And with no logical explanation from me, who could blame her really? I spent long hours deliberating over the problem and trying to figure out a way to tell Irene, I became obsessed with wanting her to understand me. The pressure of keeping this secret to myself was starting to become an intolerable burden. It was such a simple, harmless and innocent pleasure, so why did it evoke such misunderstanding and prejudice? It wasn't something dirty or perverted, in fact quite the opposite. When I had rid my body of hair, slipped into skimpy lace trimmed underwear, pulled on my stockings and high heels, put on my skirt and blouse, placed my wig upon my head and applied my makeup I stepped into another world, a better more peaceful and gentle world. The stresses and strains of everyday life seemed to drift away, worries and anxieties were replaced with an aura of beautiful tranquil pleasure. How could this be so wrong? I stopped requesting our little game and reverted to dressing in secret again, alone and isolated, but at least I was dressing as a woman for my own reasons and not as a compromise. I continued like this for some time and life went on - we had two beautiful daughters and we went through the normal ups and downs that all couples have to endure. On the face of it we were a very happy, healthy couple except that I was leading this terrible double life. On the one hand I was the respectable loving husband and father and on the other this person who craved to dress up as a woman in secret because there didn't seem to be any other choice. The burden of keeping my feminine half hidden soon began to take its toll and I am sure my family suffered as a consequence. I became increasingly bad tempered and irritable and started to turn to drink for solace. I couldn't see it then but I became a pitiful creature full of self pity and sorrow, and it was all my own creation. I went through bouts of depression and guilt, throwing away all my feminine belongings, promising myself that I could live without it only to find a couple of months later that the irresistle urge would return with a gretaer intensity. I would then go out on mad shopping sprees replacing everything that I had lost, and so began an expensive destructive cycle that was to last for fifteen years. Every so often I approached Irene asking her if she would agree to my dressing up in her presence, but my requests were always greeted with an emphatic no. This did not help my growing anxiety and depression, but it was not her fault, it was mine. Why couldn't I have just been more honest from the beginning. It would have made life so much easier...  
  Mistake In one last desperate act I took advantage of a weekend alone with Irene while the children were staying with relatives and persuaded her to let me dress up in front of her. She agreed, but it was a mistake, a very big mistake. I felt so happy as I prepared myself, ensuring that I looked my best. Irene's jaw dropped as I entered the room in my favourite outfit, high heeled court shoes, stockinged legs, a short black velour mini-skirt, a wine coloured blouse, my face fully made up and my mousey blonde wig. she could not bear to look at me and after only fifteen minutes sitting on the sofa together she ran out of the room. I following and found her sobbing uncontrollably on the bed, she couldn't cope and was devastated, and it frightened me - this time I had surely gone too far. I had seen Irene upset before but this was different, I had a real feeling that I could lose her. That scared me. I loved her dearly and couldn't even contemplate life without her. Stripping off and scrubbing my face I stuffed all my feminine belongings into a large refuse sack and put it out with the rubbbish. I tried to comfort her, promising her that I would change, that I would block my compulsation out altogether, but it did not last long. How shallow my promise was. Once again I found myself purchasing the clothes, underwear, make-up, shoes and wig that I could not live without, and again I started to dress in secret. Then something happen to change my life again, I had embarked on a quest to become a writer. I had always been quite artistic and I thought this would be a new way to express myself. After several rejected manuscripts I decided to follow some advice and write something I know about intimately. After one more rejection, my first short story was accepted! I was overjoyed and when I told Irene, to my surprise, she shared my joy. She said she was proud of me and pleased with my success. Misconceptions As subsquent scripts were accepted we began to openly discuss my strange obsession for the first time. In the evenings when we took our regular walk in the woods I was able to explain to Irene about the many different aspects of transvestism, why people did it and most importantly why I did it. It was wonderful to be able to talk like this, to explore the myths and misconceptions and my wife listened with genuine interest and curiosity. It was like a huge burden being lifted from my shoulders and I felt ten years younger, the relief at finally being understood was incredible. I still dress up on my own when I have the house to myself because I know that it's not Irene's cup of tea and I respect that, but now there is a big difference. I have not exactly got her blessing, but I do have her understanding and sympathy and that is very precious to me. I no longer suffer from depression or pangs of guilt and can enjoy my cross dressing for the simple pleasure that it is. I now only feel happiness in the knowledge that I have a one-in-milion, long suffering, loving and understanding wife.