SOUNDING LIKE A WOMAN

Fortunately for us, there is no such thing as a 'normal female voice'. Our voices are almost as individual as our faces, and any individual voice is capable of great variation. We can speak nasally, harshly or huskily almost at will. You will, no doubt, think your voice is too low in pitch, but bear in mind that pitch is only one factor in a voice, and other factors can compensate for low pitch. Earth Kitt's voice, for example, is very low pitched, but is unmistakeably feminine. In fact, a low pitched feminine voice can sound very sexy. It is important to remember that your are not trying to get a completely new voice, just to feminise your own existing voice. Your dialect or accent should be preserved, and you should be careful to keep your individuality. Relaxed self confidence is a necessary first step in developing your new feminised voice. Undue tension in any part of the body will interfere with the easy functioning of the vocal chords. This is often accompanied by excessive concentration which also prevents natural speech. Before starting an exercise, stretch your muscles to remove any undue tension, and then relax. As much like a cat as possible, stretch and relax. Try to avoid doing the following speech therapy exercises when there is too much background noise - complete silence would be ideal. It may even be a good idea to draw the curtains to help dampen the sounds of the outside world. Stretch, and relax.... Breath Control After relaxation, breath control is the next most essential in feminising your voice. Good speech stems from breathing correctly and in a controlled way. If you cannot control your breath you will not be able to control your voice. Stand with your body weight slightly forward, with heels lightly on the ground, shoulders loose and head erect. Take a deep breath and allow it to escape slowly and evenly. Practise this once or twice before attempting to use your breath to speak. When you do speak, be careful not to spend all of your breath at the beginning of the phrase. You should have enough to last comfortably until the end of the phrase, or even have a little left over. Allow any extra breath to escape without sound. A puff of air at the end of the phrase is both unnecessary and unfeminine. Controlling your breath as above, repeat the following phrases: I am going shopping today Could you tell me the time please? Can I try this blouse on please? Practise these over and over, until you're happy with your breath control.  
  sounding2.jpgPitching Right Male voices are generally lower in pitch than those of females. Therefore, a woman with a very low voice and male inflection stands out. Pitch and tonal range are not the only differences between male and female voices - only a part of the difference. The object of these exercises is not to produce a falsetto, but to incorporate higher notes into your speaking range. The voice is closely integrated with personality. Inflection, volume and voice quality are used to express emotion. Trust your natural femininity and have fun with the exercises! Continued relaxation is very important - stretch and relax... Pitch is determined by the degree of tension in the muscles controlling the vocal chords, which are in turn controlled by your own perception of the sound you are making. When you want to sing a note, you don't tense your vocal chords deliberately - instead, you hear the note in your mind and the vocal chords adjust themselves, the process is subconscious. Speech works in the same way. Vocal muscles can, however, be exercised - and flexibility improved - provided that you have plenty of breath and keep your neck and throat muscles relaxed. Before starting any exercise, here are a few points to remember: Avoid smokey areas Avoid stress so you can develop a pattern of relaxed and easy breathing Develop a different speech rhythm - melodic rather than a business-like staccato pattern based on a narrow range of notes. Bearing this in mind, try counting 1-2-3... 1-2-3... 1-2-3...... Then, raising the pitch a little (though still speaking, not singing), repeat again. Keep practising at different pitches, and the exercise will help you to add a more melodic character to your voice. Voice Variety In this exercise, the voices you use should all be very different. Try to approach each as best you can, but don't be disheartened if your first efforts are disappointing. Variety is the spice of life - try as many different voices and pitches as you want... Husky Feminine Voice - "It is time I went home now" Low pitched, but less husky voice - "It is time I went home now" Medium pitch feminine voice - "It is time I went home now" Higher pitched voice - "It is time I went home now" Try them all again and again until you feel confident in a variety of voices - you can learn to use all these voices in everyday speech to express your different emotions, just as we all use our own male versions naturally.  
  Setting the tone A further difference between male and female voices is their tone. In puberty female vocal chords lengthen and the lining of the pharynx becomes thicker and softer. This produces a mellow, soft tone. Male vocal chords increase in mass and length, and the pitch descends. These tonal differences can be manipulated by using exercises to lengthen the vowels. Working on neatening your pronunciation will also pay dividends. Research shows that women's pronunciation is 'correct' for a greater proportion of the time than is men's. However, this does not mean that you need to change your accent - merely to be more careful in the way you speak. Stretch and relax. Breathe easily... Sound the first letter of the phrases softly, feel your mouth forming the sounds, and stretch the vowels a little: OO L-ah L-ah Ahoy ahoy - stretch to A--hoy ahoy that ship ahoy Cold, cold, it is so very cold Boom, boom, the gun went boom Stretch and relax. Breathe easily... now try it again... Once you are satisfied with your lengthened vowels, at least for the present, you can move on to your inflection. Quality Inflection When we speak we do not do so in a monotone. Rather, our pitch rises and falls naturally. This modulation of pitch is known as inflection, and it is this that gives our voices their expressive qualities. Inflection is especially important in personal conversation - it shows whether or not we are listening attentively. Many of the diffferences between male and female voices - especially in inflection - arise from the kind of things we say. An employer does not coo softly at someone receiving a reprimand, nor does one bellow sweet nothings into the ear of a lover. Generally speaking, women use inflection more than men. This reflects their nurturing role with children - although the quality is still visible in women who do not have (or want) children. The next exercise is designed to improve your inflection. Stretch and relax. Breathe easily. Then try saying: OH - (pitch drops) No - What (pitch drops) a (pitch drops) pi - (pitch drops) -ty I can't (pitch drops) and I (pitch drops) won't (pitch drops) believe (pitch drops) it Step (pitch rises) up Step (pitch drops) down Be (pitch drops) qui- (pitch drops) -et!  
  Putting it all together It is time to put together everything we have learnt so far. So, stretch and relax, breathe easily, then repeat the following nonsense rhyme, trying out all that you have learnt: Dong Dong Dong! Bonged the great big gong. The Hong Kong gong Had a long sad song Of woe and wrong, Of woe and wrong! Bong Bong Bong Dong Dong Dong Bong Bong Bong Bong! Dong Dong Dong You can hear the gong In old Cantong. The Hong Kong gong In old Cantong You can scarcely hear the gong The Bong-Dong gong Remember, it is all a question of practice - and if you can manage to clearly recite the above rhyme, while paying attention to the techniques we've covered, you'll know you've made excellent progress. Try listening to yourself with a tape recorder, and continue to work on your breath control, tone, variety and inflection until you are happy with the way you sound. Stretch and relax, breathe deeply... Stretch and relax, breathe deeply... Good luck! For a more in-depth guide to elecution, please see our Speech Therapy Course which includes four audio cassettes, which take you through voice exercises allowing you to practice and evaluate your progress.

WHATS IN YOUR HANDBAG

I think the oddest thing in mine is a four-inch nail. No - it's not for emergency repairs to the dancefloor after I've been dancing, but more of that in a bit. First, a few things which are not in my handbag... Once upon a time, when I had a larger handbag, it always contained a hairbrush. My current one does not. Before putting on my wig I brush it thoroughly. However, touching up the wig (once it's on my head) is better done with the fingers. Brushing can leave the wig with a flat, unnatural look. Fingering creates a more untidy appearance which looks much more natural. So - when I'm out strutting my stuff I don't need a hairbrush. I sometimes carry a spare stocking or two in case of ladders, but there aren't any in my bag at the moment. The darker the stockings one wears, the more important this is - the slightest damage to a black stocking is glaringly obvious. Currently, mine are pale - a shade the manufacturer calls 'natural'. With these, the sort of damage stockings pick up on the dancefloor is very hard to see. They don't last forever of course, but they are wearable in a worse state than black ones. The down side to this is that the paler the stockings, the better job you need to make of shaving your legs! Another thing absent from my handbag is money. It's hard to dance with a bag flapping about on your shoulder. For disco numbers, there's a kind of teenage charm about dancing around your handbag, but it's a bit limiting - having to keep to a single spot on the dancefloor. When it comes to ballroom dancing, the bag is just a nuisance. It's best just to leave the bag where you're sitting, but an unattended handbag containing money is not a good idea. My money goes into a little purse on my belt - it looks a tad like a hand grenade, but it is very useful!  
  handbag3.jpgAlso absent are most of the make-up products I use - foundation, blusher and eye make-up are all missing. I've tried carrying these, but found that once they were on they were on for the night. The only make-up items I carry with me are a couple of products genuinely useful for repairs during the course of an evening. One item of make-up I do carry with me is face powder, with a couple of little pads to apply it. Dancing in a wig is a hot business. They say that horses sweat, men perspire, while ladies only glow. A night at the disco can have me glowing like a pig. As the glow trickles down my face, a little extra dab of powder can fix a multitude of sins. I also use the powder as a base for lipstick - the other make-up product I carry. I tend to suffer from slightly greasy lips and used to have a lot of difficulty in getting the lipstick to take, especially on the lower lip. A bit of powder (not too much) leaves my lips dry and ready for the colour. Actually, I use the lipstick more often during the course of the evening than the powder. A little bit of extra lippie can do wonders to a face that's starting to lack something or other. More - there's something deliciously feminine about sitting down and putting on your lipstick. Along with the lipstick, I also carry lip-liner - invaluable in defining a sharp edge to lips that have become smudged over the course of an evening. (See our make-upguide for hints on applying make-up) An essential accessory for both make-up products is a mirror. It's handy for checking whether more make-up is necessary,and indespensible for putting it on. I used to carry a plain rectangle or round mirror, but found it was apt to break if carried in a handbag. Apart from the risk of seven years' bad luck, broken glass is dangerous and certainly not what I want to find on thrusting my hand into the bag. It also spoils the impression, sitting down doing one's lips with a shard of broken mirror in the left hand - deliciously femme?? Get real! The mirror I use today is actually 2 mirrors, normal and enlarging. They are in a solidly constructed hinged case which, when shut, preserves them from harm. Both mirrors are useful - the normal one for checking the appearance of my whole face, the enlarging one for work on my lips.  
  handbag.jpgTransgender Resources A Survival Kit for a Night on the Town, By Annie Peters Lipstick is not the only thing that can wear off during the evening, and I also carry a small perfume spray. I think it's important to smell nice as well as look good. Spraying it on is, of course, another action in the deliciously feminine category, but don't overdo it - your fragrance should not precede you by too much! Less feminine is a handkerchief - and not a delicate lacy one, at that. I have already mentioned 'glowing like a pig'. When the glow stings the eyes something substantial is needed to blot it. Used with reasonable delicacy, the hankie can be better than a tissue for mopping up the glow without wrecking the eye make-up. Carrying tissues as well could be a good idea - but I tend to use a bit of paper from the toilet. It does well enough, and avoids the accumulation of a layer of disintegrated tissue at the bottom of my bag. In some places the toilets run out of paper - but more can sometimes be had if one has the gumption to ask at the bar. Much more ladylike than a hankie is a nail file in a little plastic case. Rough nails not only look less than perfectly femme, but wreck stockings. It also has a little hook at the end for removing dirt. Dirty nails - varnished or otherwise - are a real no-no. Also metal are four small safety pins. I keep them pinned together for convenience - a solitary safety pin at the bottom of the bag is very hard to find, and when a safety pin is needed it's usually needed in a hurry. A cluster of four pins is much easier to locate. Their purpose (need I tell you girls) is emergency repair to clothes. At the bottom of the bag, with the pins, is a small card with a dozen or more kirby-grips. The grips can be useful for keeping a wig fixed to one's real hair - especially if the wig's webbing is past its first flush of youth. Another use for a hair grip is to pin back one's real hair if it seems determined to escape from the confines of the wig. That's especially important if wig and real hair are different colours. And that leaves only... the four inch nail. It's for the toilet. As a trannie out on the town, one has to be careful about using toilets at all. There are places - mostly gay - where there isn't any great problem about using the ladies, but it shouldn't be taken for granted. Be careful, and check it out first - but it is sometimes possible. In several ladies toilets I've used, the sliding part of the bolt has been missing from the cubicle doors. A nightmare scenario is to be sat there with my knickers down, only to have a woman with more sensibility than sense burst in on me. At best, a trannie is only allowed in the ladies under sufferance - and there are limits one must not cross. So... slide the four inch nail into the bolt fixings and it's securely held. A handy tip, perhaps. Remember, you read it here first!

SILICONE SILOXANE BREAST MANUFACTURING

Ultra thin, high tear strength PUR translucid film ( the external skin of a breast form) High purity, high durability silicone gel. We use siloxane oligomers as raw material for the polymerisation of the vinyl end capped and addition cross linkable poly siloxane polymer. f880_1945genresbreasts.jpg High efficiency platinum catalysts (the platinum compound promotes the cure of the silicone to a gel consistency). Adhesion Promotion compound (to ensure perfect adhesion of the silicone gel to the PUR skin for maxium durability of the breast form).  f880_1946genresbreasts.jpg  
  We need to thermoform the outer skin into the shape of a front and back side breast form. This is done in a heated mold and vacuum. After the application of the silicone gel nipple inside the front skin and the completion of its curing cycle, we can then form a closed envelope by welding together front skin and back skin slongside its perimeter. Yet we leave a small orifice on the top of the envelope through which we shall fill in the liquid silicone gel later.   Now we need to prepare the silicone gel. After polymerizing and end capping the siloxane intermediate, we need to purify the resulting silicone gel polymer from volatile components by filtering and a following distillation process at 200 degrees C under high f880_1941genresbreasts.jpgvacuum. The result is a viscous, high purity, transparent, 100% silicone liquid with a content of 99.95% of non volatiles, a silcone polymer which is useful for medical applications. In order to form a silicone gel suitable for a breast form the polymer needs to be cross linked by means of a "cross linker compound" and a platinum catalyst.       To "cure" the polymer to a gel, we now admix the cross linker/Platinum compound in an adequate ratio to accomplish a life like mobility and consistency. The silicone polymer, cross linker and platinum compounds are now inspected by quality control and released for manufacturing.   Now we fill the liquid cross linker compound and platinum catalyst containing silicone gel into the skin envelope. After curing the silicone polymer to a gel the breast forms are being conducted to the finishing department. Finally the filling orifice is closed, the excess skin trimmed and after a final inspection the breast forms are ready to be packed into master cartons for warehousing and shipping.

THE REALITIES OF GENDER REASSIGNMENT

For the transexual, the challenges that have to be faced in making the great changes involved in gender-reassignment can be so enormous as to shake one's resolve at every step of the way. But, with careful consideration and adequate forethought, they need not be overwhelming. However, anyone who assumes that the challenge lies in learning to dress properly, wear nice clothes, maintain an attractive hairstyle and to use make-up to good effect is really only scratching the surface. True, these aspects are important and cannot be overlooked if one is to fit into the new role, but they do not transcend all and if pursued without consideration of the vaster and more critical realities of becoming a woman, they may become rather superficial. After all, clothes, make-up and appearance are the prime considerations of the transvestite, but for the transexual the entire issue goes to the very core of ones being. Both the cause and effect are so all-embracing that a very realistic attitude to the deeper issues affecting women needs to be developed by the transexual. Biological women are many things in the eyes of men. They are the giving, yielding sex, traditinally bending and surrendering to the more agressive and powerful male. The very sexual act itself puts them (traditonally) into the underlying and characteristically subservient position. They are the nuturing sex, capable of imparting unique shelter, security and love to their children. The bonding between a mother and her child starts at the very first moment of holding and suckling, and from that time on, the relationship has a special quality that cannot quite be equalled by the father. Despite the unique role of women in the continuance of mankind, they are often cruelly reviled and denigrated. Motherhood is supposedly honured and even deified in all societies, yet women are often treated abominably, are objects of lewd humour and are used as chatels and servants by their lords and masters. Women have had to fight through history for their rights in a male-dominated world. Consider some historical facts: All the great religous leaders have been men - Jesus, Mohammed, Confucious and Buddha for example - as have been every pope, archbishop and, until recently, ordinary clergy in most churches. In politics women leaders have almost exclusively been during the post-war years. The UK, India, Pakistan, Norway, Israel and others have all had female leaders in recent years, but look at what women have had to endure to reach those positions of eminence. The first milestone of modern democracy was probably the signing of the Magna Carta in 1215, but it took another 700 years before women began to be granted the vote in most countries. The emancipation of women has opened up opportunities in many professions and businesses. Women lawyers, doctors, accountants and company directors are today an integral part of the community and not objects of curiosity. However, there is a downside and it is far from pleasant. Pornography, frequently featuring women in all sorts of highly exaggerated, distasteful and downright lewd situations is churned out by a multi-million dollar sector of the publishing and film industries, supported by an army of writers, webmasters, photographers and artists. This industry is forever testing the limits of public tolerance, including child pornography and satanism.  
  Hostility to women also seems to have taken on a new destructive face in our society and is a matter of concern to sociologists, theologians, the law and the medical profession. Prejudice, supression and even violence are never far away. The same sort of prejudice and ignorance affects the transsexual in many other areas of our society. We know that if we are to enjoy peace of mind we must shake off the disturbing ambivalence which can make a misery of our lives. But equally we have to recognise that there are limits which preclude us from moving into a cosseted and beautiful world of sheltered femininity. None of us has gone through the process of growing up and developing as females from the day of our birth, even though our instincts tell us that that is what should have happened. Transsexuals go through emotional turmoil, enormous pain, inconvenience and expense because they know that they really are women trapped in a mans body, and this is the price of escape and fulfilment. However, I have not met one who has said that she would not go through it all again if necessary. I have not met one who has not felt profound relief in getting rid of the penis and testicles which have been the hallmark of male superiority since the beginning of time. Equally though, I have not met one who has not had to confront society's ignorance and prejudice. These problems should be faced with as much honesty and courage as one can muster. A transsexual must recognise that in addition to the stigma conferred on him by his or her condition, there are other hardship is involved in simply living life as a woman. Some may try to take refuge in self-imposed isolation, thus creating a sort of ghetto for themsleves and associates. This is a state to be avoided if humanly possible. As I see it, these are the fundamental considerations that must be confronted: Am I happy and proud to be a woman? Am I happy to accept the known and established limitations which are inevitable in living as a woman, keeping in mind that living as a woman and womanhood itself are not quite the same thing? As I am now a woman or in the process of becoming one, can I honestly accept the tolerable limitations of womanhood? In accepting these limitations can I also recognise it as my duty to my sisters to fight for and uphold the rights of women in terms of equal compensations for equal work, the same levels of security that men expect and the same freedom from oppression? Am I prepared to accept that role-reversal is not my aim? Am I prepared to accept that there is a poor future for a world in which there is a dominant and an inferior sex? Not everyone will be able to answer these questions affirmatively, but we all owe it to ourselves to confront the realities of becoming a woman with the knowledge that it is loaded with obstacles. But if these questions can be answered objectively and with honesty, the chances of succeeding as a real creative woman, making a distinct and valuable contribution to society, will be much enhanced.

JUNG'S ANIMA THEORY AND HOW IT RELATES TO CROSSDRESSING

  Jung also believed that every woman has an analogous animus within her psyche, this being a set of unconscious masculine attributes and potentials. An idealized (but not universal) history the crossdresser can be outlined as follows: Each boy has traits that society considers feminine. When a boy displays these traits, they meet with disapproval. The boy represses these feminine traits, which become the anima. The boy develops a normal male persona (mask), and enters the world. He goes to school and follows a career. The urge to actualize his repressed female potentials manifests itself in dreams and fantasy. At midlife, he experiences unhappiness due to the unrealistic and limiting nature of his masculine persona. At this time he may feel a strong, even overpowering interest in wearing women's clothes, or of being a woman in fantasy. This urge is natural and healthy: it is because his completeness as a person requires expressing the potentials he has repressed. Lacking societal cues that validate or guide his impulses, he experiences confusion. The world says crossdressing is wrong, but his 'heart' says it is right. Guilt, shame, moral concerns, and his own overly idealized view of masculinity constrain his crossdressing. He also asks questions like "Am I gay" and "Should I change my sex?" The stage of confusion can last years and decades. The crossdresser may dress often, delve into the culture of crossdressing, or even take female hormones. Or he may remain highly closeted. But the hallmark of this phase is that he remains confused and highly ambivalent, uncertain how to proceed. This seems a terminal point for many. However, the theories of Jung and others imply that this is not the proper end point, but merely arrested development. If the crossdressing urge is really adaptive--a response by the organism to remove barriers that have effectively repressed half of the man's potentials--we can speculate that further developmental stages are possible: The crossdresser recognizes the positive, healing meaning of crossdressing. At this point, crossdressing becomes supported, rather than rejected, by the ego; he may then pursue crossdressing as a constructive activity, now freed from previous moral constraints. But, by the same token, recognition of the positive meaning of the urges also brings an appreciation of sensible limits. The crossdresser gradually experiences his "inner female." As he does, he finds parts that are of fundamental importance, and realizes that these transcend labels of 'male' or 'female'. He also learns to distinguish the positive, profound parts of the anima (spirituality, love, beauty, etc.) from the trivial (promiscuity, vanity, etc.). For a while the crossdresser experiences his male and female personalities as distinct. Eventually he allows parts of the female into his ordinary male personality. This stage gradually merges with the next. The inclusion of the female effects a change in the male personality, producing a new personality that is better than either alone. The female empowers and transforms the male. This stage is ongoing. The new self continues to grow--presumably in the direction of greater spirituality and service to others. It is consistent with the anima theory that the urge to crossdress may diminish during these later stages. The crossdresser now understands that it was not the clothing or being a woman that he sought--these merely symbolized the deeper aspects of his personality he sought to express. Once he experiences and expresses these aspects directly, female clothing itself has less meaning and importance. N.B. The original and full version of this article appears at: http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/cathytg/anima.htm



10 WAYS TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET

'Coming out is hard to do...' as Neil Sedaka might have sung. The idea of other people, especially one's nearest and dearest, knowing what we get up to is for some trannies a vision from hell. We imagine horror, betrayal, ridicule, disgust... I know one TV who has spent over thirty years in a stable and loving marriage with grown up children, and all without breathing a word to his wife. 'If I had known in my youth what I know now,' he told me, 'I would probably have saved up for the operation. But in those days it was unheard of, so I followed the conventional route. Now, how could I possibly tell my wife, after keeping it a secret for so long? What would I say? "Oh, by the way darling, I thought I ought to let you know that I've always wanted to be a woman and I spend my weekends away dressed in high heels" ? No, the scene is hardly to be imagined.' But many of us do manage to break the news without too much trauma. Are there any tips to pass on? Here is my personal repertoire of possible routes out of the closet, but first a health warning: some are more successful than others! Tell it straight, tell it early I must have been about 19 when I told my fiancee (now my wife), after we were going steady but before we were engaged. I can't claim to have had the nerve to say it face to face - this was in a letter. Perhaps the best method from some points of view, as I was able to pick my words carefully; she had time to think it through, take soundings from her best friend, look it up in the encyclopaedia, whatever. It wasn't for several years that she actually saw me in a skirt, but knowing about it in advance took some of the shock out of it. And more importantly, it avoided the hurt of an unadmitted secret. On the other hand, perhaps she was so astonished to get any sort of letter at all from me in those student days, she was prepared to overlook what I put in it! 'There's something you need to know...' This was a technique that I used with my two assistants at work - Geoff and Janet. I was in a politically sensitive job, and decided that if the news ever did come out, it was better to have my colleagues prepared and on my side. We were all three radical and broad-minded, of similar ages and good friends, but not emotionally close. Geoff's response was: "Oh, is that it? I thought for a moment you were going to say you were having an affair." Janet's reply was to ask me if I wanted any clothes out of her mail order catalogue, and would I help her buy undies for her gay friend as a Christmas present, as I'd have a better eye for his style than she would. 'Oh, that old thing...' This method is one I keep in reserve for more casual acquaintances, where the topic comes up in conversation and admitting to being a TV is no big deal. It depends on the casual throwaway and goes along the lines of : "'Tootsie'? Oh, yes, I really enjoyed it, but you know that it's nothing but showbiz. I didn't think it portrays at all what being a transvestite is like. The only film that really gets us right is 'Just like a Woman'. What me? Oh yes, been one for years. Anyway, I'm a real fan of Dustin Hoffman, but I do think he was far more convincing in 'Rain Man'...."  
  f542_1143.jpg'You're not going to believe this...' Not so much a frequent tactic, more a matter of making a virtue out of a necessity. For instance, there we were on holiday, all dressed up and somewhere to go - it was carnival weekend and we were on our way to watch the parade. Suddenly we realised that Carole had returned home early with the key to the cottage where we were staying. The only duplicate was with the landlady. The only way to get it - drive to her house. The only snag - I was in a sweater and skirt. Well, I thought, as I knocked on the door, it is carnival time... "Bonjour Madame" said her husband, not recognising me silhouetted against the sunlight. I wish now that I'd introduced myself as my own twin sister, to see how long it took him to cotton on, but being an honest soul I said "Come off it Henry" in my deepest baritone. Squeals of delight from him and Anna: "Quick, get the camera!" Afterwards, she told me that the giveaway was that I'd dressed too carefully for it to be just a carnival costume. Crisis of passion A tactic that can only work with good friends. There I was with Maria, discussing business organisation. She was about to leave for a meeting with a client, and was as usual dressed in her professional woman's outfit, an extremely snazzy blue skirt suit with a crisp white blouse. Her make up and hair were impeccable. I heaved a deep sigh and said: "I envy you in that suit". She looked blank. "no really, you look just terrific. I'd love to go out dressed the way you are now". Surprised she was, no doubt, but certainly more flattered than offended. Pardon my bloomers This scenario sounds like something straight out of trannie fiction, but it actually happened to me. I had a rush job on, which I couldn't manage on my home computer. Christine, a colleague, offered to let me work on her machine, but it would mean spending several days in her cottage while she was away at the office. So along I went, and along went a change of clothes in my briefcase. The trouble came (haven't you guessed) when she arrived home an hour earlier than expected and found me in a blouse and skirt, scurrying for the bathroom. Red faces and profuse apologies followed... Now this could have been a disaster, but in fact the upshot was the note she left me the following morning: "Please do not feel bad at all, you did not do anything wrong. I'm glad you felt comfortable in my house! In addition it is none of my business and will stay between us (in case you are worried about that). PS if you want something different, why don't you help yourself in my closet upstairs? Shoes are about all over the place". God bless ladies like Christine. My friend Dominique insists I did it on purpose...... It's all an act Carnival time again, and this year there were so many of us that I refused to cook Sunday lunch for 20, and instead ordered a ready-prepared meal from the delicatessen counter at the local supermarket. It was Saturday morning when I went to pick it up, and I was dressed in my discreetest skirt length and smartest heels. The shop assistant, poor fellow, was out of his depth as he helped me steer the two trolley-loads to the checkout. "This gentleman will be bringing the serving dishes back." he explained to the cashier. "Lady!" I corrected him, "When I ordered the meal on Tuesday I was a gentleman, but for the carnival weekend I'm a lady!" "Sorry Sir" he stammered.... ah well, you can't win them all!  
  f542_1142.jpgDon't look now... In case this list makes it seem that every time I tumble out of the closet I fall on my feet, here's positive proof that you can't win them all. While that same shop assistant had been fetching the goodies from the kitchen, I'd been cruising the shelves for wine and fruit tarts. Five yards away I spot Lynne - a friend, but not somebody I particularly wanted to come out to, at least not in a supermarket on a Saturday morning. Had she seen me? Head she read me? She gave no indication of either, so I played it cool and turned away. It must have been six months later that Lynne, after falling out with me over an entirely different matter, spilled the beans - not to me but to my in-laws! Fortunately, they were already in the know, but the blood runs cold to think of what might have been had they not already known. Alternatively, the blood runs hot to think of Lynne's cheek! Have you read the latest? A major life-change is perhaps a good moment to make a clean breast of things. A case in point was when my in-laws decided to move in next door. There were several reasons why we decided that they ought to be told - after a year or two of openness, I didn't fancy returning to the days when I had to creep around in hiding. And then there was the risk of them finding out from a gossipy neighbour - perhaps I had had a kind of premonition about the 'Lynne incident'. How to break the news? I tackled Stella first. "You know, when you're away in the summer, we'll be letting out the cottage. Well - you should be aware, some of the people who rent it are a bit out of the ordinary. That is to say... it's not so much them as me.. erm.... Look, there's an article in this magazine that explains it". Then I handed over the article about myself, complete with photo. Up went her eyebrows, but she's a game type and took it in her stride. No woman who goes ballooning for her 60th birthday is going to be fazed by a minor detail like seeing her son-in-law in tights. Chicken Out! Nevertheless, I couldn't face up to telling my father-in-law, so I asked Stella if she'd do it for me. She must have told him straight away, there was a slight coolness in his manner when he came round for a drink that evening. After all, this was a guy who's been known to mutter darkly about 'bloody poofters', but as a Freemason he knows a thing or two about wearing funny clothes! He's never actually seen me dressed, but the two of them did buy me a broach the following Christmas. In conclusion So my score so far is about 8 and a half out of 10 - not a bad rating. So what lessons have I learnt? Firstly, most people (even if they discover the truth by accident) do not conform to the 'Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells' stereotype. People's responses have ranged from indifference to mild amusement to open-hearted acceptance, but very rarely hostility. The one person who has teased me about it did so so gently that I didn't even notice - until my wife explained later what he'd meant by asking me if I went to Roedean. Secondly, for the most part the people I have come out to have fallen into two categories: those whom I trusted in the first place, or else those whose opinion is fairly irrelevant (such as the man on the delicatessen counter). There's no point in making yourself a hostage to fortune by giving yourself away to anyone you know you can't really trust. Next, almost all the people I've come out to have been women. This is probably not an accident, for several reasons. I feel more at home in women's company than in men's, and I find them less threatening. It may possibly be that they find me less threatening too - perhaps many men who are confronted by an emerging TV will think that he's making a homosexual advance at them, whereas women are less anxious if they imagine I'm gay? Either way, I've found women more positive, men more indifferent. And remember, once you've come out, this doesn't solve all problems. It certainly doesn't provide an excuse for flaunting at every given moment. Confide and be yourself by all means, but never impose.

WHY WE ENVY WOMEN

Views expressed in this article are not necessarily those of Transformation. In our present society there is no room for an intersexed person. Society demands that we be either male or female. This is dictated from the moment of birth when the doctor announces "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!". From this moment on, the infant's fate is sealed and his/her training starts in earnest. The decision is made as to which colour the baby will wear - pink or blue. We call this the pink blanket / blue blanket syndrome. While we agree that SEX is determined by what is between the legs (the method employed by the medical profession), we can't agree that this should automatically determine the infant's GENDER for the rest of its life. The very existence of homosexuals, transsexuals, transvestites and transgenderists proves that nature is far more complicated than that. "Sex" is determined by the visible anatomical organs that a person is born with, and it is impossible to change this sex, in spite of what some doctors might claim. The so-called "sex change" simply leaves a castrated and mutilated male. The man has been provided with an orifice that looks remarkably like a vagina, but of course, it isn't. It is simply a tube closed at its inner end and serves no purpose except to provide an orifice to receive a male penis during intercourse. The breasts of such a man / woman are often made of silicone and are incapable of serving their natural purpose - feeding a baby. It is also impossible for the sex-changed male to conceive a baby, since none of the necessary internal organs, such as ovaries and womb, are present. We believe that many men who have the sex change operation really desire a 'gender change', which can be done without surgery, and for whom surgery may in fact be the worst solution. Gender is invisible. It is in the very soul of each human being. It is the learned behaviour pattern of each individual, described by society as masculine or feminine. Usually there is no conflict between "sex" and "gender". Sex is what you are born with, and gender is the behaviour pattern you are taught. A man's sperm contains two factors. They are called the X and Y sperm cells. A woman's egg contains only female X cells. At the moment of conception, when the man's sperm enters the women's egg in the womb, the sex of the child is determined. It takes X + X to produce a female, and X + Y to produce a male. The foetus contains ALL the necessary information to develop into a boy or a girl. The foetus is asexual until about the 4th month of pregnancy. At this stage, if the child is to be a boy, and this is determined by the presence of the Y factor, the glands which will become the testicles will move towards their natural position. The penis will continue to develop and the gland which would have developed into a womb becomes the male's prostate gland. All this is brought about by hormones secreted at vital stages as a result of the Y factor from the father's sperm. If the child is to become a girl, the same glands which bacame the boy's testicles will remain inside the body and become the ovaries. The womb will continue to develop and the development of the penis is halted, becoming the clitoris. Two facts become clear. First, the sex of the child is determined by the father. Second, there are far fewer differences between men and women than our social order is willing to admit. In fact, men and women are basically the same, except for the reproductive organs and the associated hormones that go with them. But, from the moment of birth, training starts to make the infant behave in a masculine or feminine manner, determined solely on which set of sexual organs happens to be between the legs at birth. The soul of this infant isn't considered at all and it is a matter of "You will do as you're told and not what your nature dictates".  
  f675_1257.jpgBoys will be given toys such as guns, tanks, cars and construction kits, all things which will make him aggressive, competitive and, dare we say it, destructive. It doesn't take a genius to see that children's television shows are also designed to reinforce this attitude among boys. Boys must be tough, and their training is designed to remove any softness or vulnerability, which is regarded as 'sissy'. Girls, on the other hand, are given sewing kits, tea sets, doll's houses and miniature household appliances. Everything designed to ensure that the little girl will grow up into a loving, gentle and caring woman. She is trained to be a mother and housewife, whether she likes it or not. Pity the poor boy who prefers playing with dolls rather than guns! It doesn't matter if being gentle and loving is part of his nature. If he wants to take an interest in his mother's cooking or any other 'feminine pursuits' he will be severely dealt with. Such 'sissy' ideas must be removed from his mind at all costs! 'Tom Boy' behaviour among little girls doesn't seem to draw such drastic corrective measures. In fact, daddy rather likes his tom-boy daughter. But this same daddy will not tolerate any sissy behaviour from his son - in fact, he will be utterly disgusted. We believe the term 'sissy' should enjoy the same status as 'Tom Boy'. This would be a start in correcting our hopelessly confused social training process, the classic situation in which the only acceptable interests for men seem to be sport, drink and cars - women, on the other hand, are expected to be interested only in babies, cake recipes and gossip. This situation is graphically illustrated at parties. Man and wife arrive together but immediately seperate to join male or female groups. And why should hubby and wife stay together? They don't even speak the same language! Men feel that women will only spoil their fun and women feel that men will stifle their conversation. Men stand on one side with their beers, talking about who will win the football, while the women gossip and watch anxiously how many drinks their husbands are having. Women readers will say: "But men don't have to be that way!". You are right. But unless a man wishes to be a social outcast, he will behave like that. Our social order demands it. I suspect that many men would prefer to join in the female gossip, talking about fashion or hair styles, but wouldn't dare.The fear of being called a sissy is too great! Women have long been fighting for their rights - these include whether to have children or not, equal pay and the right to dress as they please. This has resulted in women moving into what were previously exclusively masculine domains, competing with men for the top jobs and salaries that go with them. The truth is that women are winning the 'battle of the sexes'. Many job categories have been taken over by women. Take, for example, public relations. Who wants to deal with a balding or grey-headed man in a suit when they can have an attractive woman, stylishly dressed with beautiful hair to represent them? Other fields where the same thing is happening are advertising and estate agents. In every job where appearance is important you'll find a woman. Women make the best sales persons. Even the motor trade will realise this soon.  
  f675_1259.jpgWomen take the trouble to groom themselves, to look young, beautiful, vibrant and alive. Men, on the other hand, cannot use make-up to improve their appearance. They don't use creams on their faces to keep the aging process at bay. Their fashions are often, to say the least, dull. Men have to be satisfied with what they were born with. Women are now moving strongly into engineering, electronics, architecture and the medical profession. It is now a fact that women make better drivers, pilots and doctors. All this is proving to be a tremendous threat to men. The advertising profession is breaking down the male ego by depicting him as a useless, idiotic buffoon. In television advertising you find it is the man who makes a mess of things and the woman who comes to the rescue. A lot of television programs follow the same theme. Imagine a little boy seeing all these television programmes. He will model himself on the parent he most admires. Even if his father is a strong personality, that may not be enough to convince him that maleness is the preferred role. If the father is weak the boy has no choice but to model himself on his mother and those beautiful, successful females he sees on television. Here you have the beginnings of gender confusion. The boy either accepts his indoctrination and the social order as it is or he fights it. If he fights it, he either becomes homosexual (because he fears female domination) or he joins the ranks of women. This usually means he becomes a fetishist, a transvestite, a transgenderist or a transsexual. In any of these cases the man will find himself loving and envying women their relaxed and indeed, lately, elevated social status. Today our entire social order is geared towards the likes and dislikes of women. It has become a matter of social survival for men. At this point it might be useful to give a breakdown of the various related cross dressing activities to show where transgenderism fits in. Fetishism Fetishists are attracted, mostly, to feminine underwear, high-heeled shoes and stockings. Sometimes they steal women's underwear from washing lines and shops. For them, the wearing of feminine clothing is solely a stimulant for sexual gratification. This sexual release could be by masturbation or with an understanding female partner. Both partners will behave in a typically heterosexual manner with intercourse taking place in the usual fashions. The fetishist, by his very behaviour, accumulates a lot of guilty feelings, which normally cause stress releated problems later in life. From the fetish stage it is a very short step for a male to want to dress in a completely feminine costume. At first, it is usuzlly out of curiosity "just to see what I look like". Then he discovers he likes what he sees in the mirror. The next stage occurs when the man enjoys what he is doing so much that he starts toying with the idea of going out in public dressed as a woman. Now the transvestite will start to look at his appearance critically for the first time. He will note where he needs to improve in order to pass as a woman in public, probably buy a wig, learn the art of applying make-up through fashion amgazines (or his wife or girlfirend if she is willing to play along) and will learn which styles of dresses, skirts, blouses and shoes will best suit his figure. If successful in perfecting an acceptable feminine appearance he will venture out i public in a very limited way. At this stage the sexual element in the man's dressing decreases and he becomes more conscious of the feminine side of his nature. However, he is still very much a male and will pursure his normal manly interests such as sport and drinking sessions with his friends. In fact, he often overcompensates and becomes aggressively macho. Only at infrequent times will his feminine element come to the fore and demand his attention.  
  f675_1260.jpgThe next stage creeps up on the transvestite in a very subtle fashion. He finds himself envying the world of women, the wide selection of clothing and accessories available to them and their freedom in not having to wear a wig or 'falsies'. The real changes start when he develops a strong desire for a more feminine figure to "hang his clothes on", in particular to posess his own breasts. By then he has usually resorted to shaving his legs and arms, and may even have begun to get his beard removed by electrolysis or plucking. In his search for help he is vulnerable to traditional medical dogma which, through ignorance, tries to convinve him to either quit or else have a sex change. Neither are what he really needs or wants. He now becomes very dissatisfied with the masculine gender role. He will embark on a course of feminising himself as far a possible, including the taking of female hormones if he can find himself a willing and understanding doctor. He has not turned his back on his male side, he has merely changed priorites, wanting to live as a woman while remaining a male. He / she will be living as a woman at every possible opportunity, resenting the occasions when he / she has to dress as a man. Sexual attraction and release, however, remain heterosexual. There are no signs of homosexuality, although some transgenderists may call themselves male lesbians. It is possible that he / she will undergo the first stages of a sex change - breast implants, removal of the testicles, but these acts are gender motivated in order to feminise the body as mouch as possible, and not sexually motivated. This is usually the point at which the true transgenderist comes to terms with what it is possible to accomplish. He / she is usually living as a woman full time by now and has had to sacrifice a certain portion of 'his' sex life. Any further operations can only be sexually motivated. Transsexual This group can usually be differentiated from the preceding cases by a strong desire for an active sex life in which they wish to be the recipient of the male organ and need the necessary equipment. The transsexual will deny any allegation of homosexuality as he regards himself as a female trapped in the wrong body. This is the fundamental difference between a transgenderist and a transsexual. The transgenderist desires a gender change, but his sexual interests remain the same as any normal male's; the transsexual wants sexual relations with men. Only a small percentage of men who have the sex change operation are truly satisfied. They will never be able to bear children and will always wonder if there are traces of their previous manhood left. And there usually are.  
  f675_1261.jpgFemale Transgenderists Women have the freedom to dress as they like, cut their hair short or long, and to wear make-up or not. Women's liberation has bought them their freedom. Men, on the other hand, are expected to be coarse and loud and act as if they are devoid of love, tenderness and compassion. They are forever on their guard against anything that could put their manhood in doubt. The transgenderist has, through his earlier femme experiences, discovered freedom while playing in the feminine gender role and will move mountains to keep it. He knows only too well that such freedom will not come to all men in his lifetime. We need a thorough study into the needs of the transgenderist. These include: Hormone Therapy- As any good doctor knows, this should not be done without the strictest supervision. But since there are so many doctors with 'moral' objections, many TGs buy hormone tablets in the black market. Beard Removal- Unfortunately most TGs can't afford it. Most countries refuse to do the operation until beard removal is complete. Breast Implants- Most transgenderists suffer extreme breast envy. It makes a feminine appearance much more convincing as hormone-induced breasts are not always sufficient. Removal of the Testes- This often becomes necessary to stop the internal war between the natural male hormones and artificial female hormones. Removal of the testes allows the female hormones to do their work more efficiently and improves the feminine appearance dramatically. Job Opportunities- Vital if the transgenderist is to survive financially. Most transgenderists are still qualified to do the jobs they did as males. But, owing to ignorance, he will probably be fired by his employer. Government workers are often forced to resign from their jobs. The Americans have found, much to their surprise, that since they started helping men achiev 'she-male' status, the demand for complete sex change operations has dropped by 30%. Similar experiences have been found by some South African plastic surgeons. This is proof that there are more transgenderists than transexuals. All that transgenderists are asking for is: Freedom to live with our wives and families in peace The privilege of having a job and earning a living The right to be human andf have the same feelings and sentiments as other people. We too can be hurt Acknowledgement of our existence and a place in society so that we too can have happiness and peace Conclusions The transgenderist faces unique problems which should not be likened to those of the TS. There appears to be plenty of help and understanding for transsexuals but absolutely nothing for the transgenderist. In fact, many in the medical community do not even acknowledge their existence. It seems to us that so long as the medical people insist on naming 'sex' as the motive for transgenderism, they will not begin to understand the condition. They must first understand that the condition is socially motivated. Views expressed in this article are not necessarily those of Transformation.

WILL THEY STILL LOVE ME AFTER I TELL THEM?   Why Should I Tell? bel 10Guilt. If you have not achieved self-acceptance you may carry a great burden of guilt for a variety of reasons. You may feel badly about keeping a secret from your partner or family. It's lying by omission. So, you may decide to tell to alleviate feelings of guilt. Self-Image. At the personal level, you may have very a poor self-image, low self-esteem. These feelings may come from "messages" sent by a partner or family members that you (as a TV) are "bad" or "unworthy" of love. So, you may decide to tell to help your self-esteem. Isolation. At one time or another, you probably thought you were the only person in the world who crossdressed. You may still have immense feelings of loneliness and desperation. So, you may tell because you want to end the isolation. Freedom. Let's say you've found a local support group, but since your family doesn't know about your activities, you are not free to explore your gender issues. So, you may want to tell so you can have more freedom to explore and express yourself. Or, believe it or not, many times a CD will come to the end of a business career and find he's faced with the prospect of being home with his partner all the time. No more business trips! No more freedom. So, you may decide to tell in order to retain your freedom to dress. Accidental Discovery. Perhaps your family has accidentally discovered your crossdressing and they're making all sort of wild assumptions. So, you may have to tell in order to do some damage control, correct misinformation, and calm many fears.  
  1565When & How You Should Tell When - As soon as possible. Research shows that the longer you wait, the more negative the reaction. Ideally, tell before you get married, after that there is no "best" time. When you tell, your goal should be understanding of your need to express this part of you, not force acceptance. The setting should be intimate & private. You are going to deliver information, so have it ready. Don't flood them with too much information. Stop and wait for questions. Be prepared to stop completely if the reaction is shock. How - Use positive terms. Don't say you have a "problem." Rather say, "I have something to share with you." Tell dressed in your regular clothes. Don't show up crossdressed. If they want to see what you look like, have a photo handy. I don't know the TV that doesn't have a photo of themselves dressed. Have quality info available. Don't use a TV magazine with personals, not even Tapestry or older issues of LadyLike with Personals. The presence of Personal Ads is a definite negative. Use Chrysalis, Cross-Talk, Coping With Crossdressing, or My Husband Wears My Clothes. Suggest seeing a qualified counselor for impartial answers to difficult questions. Don't try to be an expert. Suggest talking to a partner or family member of another CD, if you have access to a support group. Discuss limits: where and when crossdressing is acceptable both privately and publicly; the role of crossdressing in the bedroom; and whether to tell others, including children, other family members and friends. Discuss the extent your partner is willing to participate in your crossdressing activities.  
  Some Things You Need to Understand I've often heard it said that crossdressing doesn't hurt anyone. That's true only if you are single and have no family. Otherwise, because we co-exist with other family members, our behavior does have an effect on them, both perceived and real. You need to understand some of the family issues involved. Guilt by Association. There are social repercussions to consider. How many families want to be associated with a person society considers mentally ill and a pervert? Friendships can be lost. Children can be teased unmercifully. The family becomes outcast. This can lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness and anger at the crossdresser. We like to think that our society is more enlightened than that today, but, sadly, it's just not true. Loss of Income. Many families fear economic reprisals if the crossdressing is discovered. This is not an unreasonable fear. In many job situations, the discovery of crossdressing behavior may be cause, however unjustified, for dismissal. Sexual Orientation. Families that discover a crossdresser among them often question the person's sexual orientation. A lot of ignorance surrounds homosexuality still and questions of promiscuity are likely to come up and that brings up STDs. Some families will wonder if the crossdresser is really a transsexual who will want genital reconstruction. Loss of Intimacy. Crossdressing can be a narcissistic, selfish behavior. Often a CD will become so engrossed in crossdressing that he begins to neglect the public and private social aspects of the family. Extraordinary amounts of time, energy, and, frequently, money are spent developing an alter-ego. Self-Esteem Partners can react to crossdressing from a sense of lowered self-esteem. They immediately ask, "What have I done wrong? What is wrong with me?" They immediately blame themselves for the behavior. It doesn't matter that the transvestism was set in motion years before they met, they "know" it's their fault. Partners who react this way usually feel negatively about themselves to begin with and they transfer the "guilt" of the behavior to themselves. Competition. A partner or family member also may feel they have to "compete" with the crossdresser. They may be threatened if the CD looks convincingly like the opposite sex. Consider the damage done to a partner's ego if his/her spouse looks more like the opposite sex than he/she does.  
  What Reactions Can You Expect? I don't know of any marriage that ended because crossdressing was the single issue. Usually there are many problems in a relationship and the crossdressing just pushes it over the edge. If you have a good, loving, respectful relationship with your partner and family, they will try to understand you and your needs. Acceptance: Sometimes family will express complete and total acceptance of crossdressing behavior. This may be due to a knowledge gained from a past personal experience, or because of a sincere belief that all people should be entitled to express themselves in any non-destructive manner. A family of this type may realize that many of the good qualities about the crossdresser are due to their transgendered nature. Some may families react mildly to the need to crossdress, recognizing that the behavior is unusual but generally harmless, if managed properly. Initial acceptance or at least a willingness to learn and understand is often misinterpreted by the transvestite as total acceptance. At the opposite end of the response scale, the family unequivocally cannot accept the crossdressing behavior. Telling lies and keeping secrets from family and friends is too high a price to ask from some people. In response to this burden, a family may try to coerce the crossdresser to give it up with a threat of separation or even public exposure. Despite their best intentions, transvestites cannot "Just Say No" to crossdressing. A complete rejection can and will eventually dissolve the relationship, unless both parties work toward a compromise.

The predominant material used in the more expensive commercial breast forms is silicone gel inside a very thin, slick plastic shell with tapered edges. Other materials such as rubber/latex, foam, or cotton batting are sometimes used. Here are the main qualities of each of the types of materials used to help in deciding if a certain material is right for you. 1735Silicone Breast Forms  The material gives the form a comparable weight, movement and feel of a natural breast. The silicone can be coloured; many forms of this type are available in a variety of shades to match skin tone. Realistic nipples and areolas can also be produced. The material of this type of form warms to your body temperature and feels very comfortable. Silicone can be whipped with air to produce forms just as realistic, yet are much lighter to wear. It is NOT the same material that was used in breast implants. It is similar, but the main problem with silicone implants came from their use INSIDE the body. Even if a breast form is punctured, the contents can not be absorbed through the skin. BTS116Rubber/Latex Cheaper alternative to silicone, while still retaining some of the qualities of silicone that make it so desirable. While still having some of the qualities of silicone to a certain degree, rubber/latex can not dare to match the weight, feel or movement of even the cheapest silicone forms. Some people are allergic to rubber or latex. Foam Commercial foam forms are very cheap and can even be easily homemade. Can't be punctured or ruptured like silicone forms. Holds shape well, even in restrictive wear like sports bras. Whatever type of breast you are looking for Transformation has the ideal pair for you. Go to our instant transformation section to see everything we have on offer. 

SKIRTS

  Skirts - tight skirts - split skirts - twirly skirts - flirty skirts. If you didn't love them, the chances are that you wouldn't be reading this. The skirt, more than any other object, can stand for the entire femi- nine outfit. In writing transvestite articles, one often needs a phrase meaning 'a feminine presentation'. Repeating the same phrase time after time would make for dull reading, so we writers rack our brains for something different from 'en femme' or 'cross dressed'. 'In a skirt' is a fairly popular variation on the theme. Here, 'skirts' stands for not only an entire set of clothes, but for the wig, the make-up, everything. If a skirt can stand - so effectively - for the entire outfit, it clearly carries a special significance for transvestites. It defines, in some way, what we are. It is part of our lives - and, undeniably, an object of desire. Lawrence Langer thought that 'the invention of the trouser and the skirt has enabled western men and women to achieve a balance social and sexual relationship.....' (The Importance of Wearing Clothes p70). Quite an achievement for a pair of garments! Perhaps the skirt stands for even more than it seems. Entire outfits are small beer compared with Langer's 'balanced social and sexual relationship'. For all of that, skirts are so much a part of my life - watching them on other people, wearing them myself - that often I take them for granted. But the skirt is quite a triumph of human ingenuity. In basis, it is the simplest - and very likely the first - garment worn by the human race. I suppose that the first skirt was a strip of animal skin fixed round the waist, very likely held in place with a bone pin. How different are the skirts in my wardrobe! They are complex structures formed from various pieces of carefully shaped fabric. I have a panel skirt made from twelve separate pieces of cloth, each in the form of a truncated triangle. In addition, it has a separate waist band and zip. I'm sure it's not the most complex skirt ever sewn - and maybe not even be the most complex of mine. Separately shaped pieces of fabric aside, there are pleats, tucks, darts, splits.... A lot of work goes into designing and making a skirt. People have devoted a lot of thought to the matter. Put in a lot of effort. The thought and effort are not random. Not only transves- tites, but people in general obviously like and desire skirts. They are widely considered worth the time, thought and effort they consume. There's a lot of pleasure in watching a well-designed skirt in motion. While trousers are essentially lifeless, a skirt is much more like a living thing - especially a fairly full skirt. The hemline hops like a rabbit or flutters like a bird. And with each hop or flutter, areas of the leg emerge or vanish. I am sometimes reminded of the sea - the rise and fall of the hemline like the bobbing of waves. Especially interesting variations in the life of the hemline can be achieved with splits. Although they're currently (and I trust, tem- porarily) not much in fashion, I harbour a lot of fond memories of skirts split above knee level. A teenage fashion, which I recall with particular affection, teamed over the knee socks and knee-length skirts with a small back split. As the girl stepped, a small triangle of thigh above the sock kept appearing and vanishing. It was an enchanting sight.  
  f642_177gnrsxdofskirtspage2.jpgThere's a lot of pleasure involved in watching a well designed skirt in motion. While trousers are essentially lifeless, a skirt is much more like a living thing - especially a fairly full skirt. The hemline hops like a rabbit or flutters like a bird. And with each hop or flutter, areas of the leg emerge or vanish. I am sometimes reminded of the sea - the rise and fall of the hemlines like the bobbing of the waves. Especially interesting variations in the life of the hemline can be acieved with splits. Although they're currently (and I trust only temporarily) not much in fashion, I harbour a lot of fond memories of skirts split above the knee level. A teeneage fashion, which I remember with particular fondness, teamed over-the-knee socks and knee-length skirts with a small back split. As the girl stepped, a small triangle of thigh above the sock kept appearing and disappearing - it was an enchanting sight. Paradoxically, a skirt can have the effect of exposing the wearer more than it covers her. I think, for example, of a woman I saw last summer. She wore a long button-up skirt with only the top 2 or 3 buttons fastened. Underneath, she wore a pair of cycling shorts. She could have worn the shorts without the skirt - in which case, I think, I wouldn't have given her a second glance - and certainly not had her in my mind a year later. Given the skirt, the shorts took on an aspect of an item of underwear, which appeared and disappeared (together with an expanse of leg) with every step. The effect was undeniably sexy. From the point of view of an ordinary man - if such a creature exists - I suppose the feeling inspired was purely of desire for the woman whose legs flickered in and out of her skirts. For me, it was more complex. That element of desire for her was present, but combined with a desire to be her, or at least to strut the street similarly covered and uncovered... The reference to 'strutting the street' illuminates an important aspect of skirt-wearing. It is something to be shared with the public at large, to be put on display. Much less than some other feminine items is the skirt a thing to be enjoyed in the privacy of a trannie's bedroom. Some of the joy of wearing frilly undies and sheer hosiery is, to be sure, lost in keeping them to ourselves - and not all of the pleasure of wearing a skirt is lost in private enjoyment. It's a matter of degree - with a skirt more of the pleasure is concentrated in the effect it produces in others. Thighs Nor do all of the specifically street-strutting pleasures stem entirely from other people. There is, for example, the effect of the breeze. There is something delicious in feeling the breeze about one's thighs, in a way which trousers would not permit. The breeze also, of course, makes a significant difference to the motion of the skirt - especially of a full skirt. I've already referred to the hem of a skirt bobbing up and down like sea waves. It will do so purely from the action of one's legs, and it is controllable insofar as this is the cause. The breeze introduces an uncontrollable and unpredictable element into the situation. That feels dangerous, and like all dangerous things is also exciting. It's exciting for those beholding the wind-whipped skirt, but may be even more exciting for the person wearing the skirt!  
  f642_369gnrsxdofskirtspage3.jpgIf I was writing an article on the first time I tried on feminine clothes - behind closed doors - I would not use the words 'in a skirt' to mean an entire outfit. Very often, the first time a trannie slips into something silky, a skirt will not be included in the outfit. Very likely, it will be a case of trying on a few pairs of panties, plus stockings or tights, perhaps. It may also be significant that, with hardly a moment's thought, I came up with 'slips into something silky' for this first act of cross dressing. At this early stage, the texture of fabrics may be more important than the form of the garments - how it feels, rather than what it is. Not that the way it feels is absent from the pleasure in a skirt. I have already mentioned feeling the breeze about one's thighs - and there are other delicious sensations, too. It's more that one has to put the skirt through its paces to experience the pleasant feelings, it's less an immediate pleasure on slipping on the garment. The slower dawning of the pleasure, though, is not necessarily a bad thing - something to anticipate, to enjoy at leisure. The initial pleasure, the first time one tries on a skirt, is likely to be visual - looking at the effect in a mirror, we see ourselves transformed into a closer approximation of the women we see in the streets. Glancing down, we see the skirt from an angle we have not seen before: on our own bodies. It is new, it is exciting. Perhaps we sit - inevitably without much grace. Inevitably, too, the skirt rides up - those are our own thighs suddenly exposed... thus we are drawn into the first pleasures of wearing a skirt. The skirt riding up as we sit down may be our first introduction to the skirt modifying the way we move. With a full skirt, a massculine gait may set the hemline moving more than we wish. With a tight skirt, our step is restircted much more directly. A long stride is impossible without damaging the garment. The feeling of a skirt confining our legs as we attempt too long a step may be our first experience of a direct physical sensation arising from skirt-wearing. There is something akin to bondage - sexually potent, arousing - in this sensation. In extreme cases (ie the hobble skirt), our legs are more or less trussed up. Wearing full skirts, it's a question of whether (and how much) we wish to expose our thighs. If the tight skirt is exciting because it reduces our options, a full one may be exciting because it increases them. We can elect to step demurely - or we could decide on the opposite. Maybe we'll do a twirl in front of the mirror, we might flash our knickers that way, if the skirt is full - although succeeding in that may take a little practice. Assuming control of a full skirt is a skill. Once beyond the confines of our own homes we may well choose to wear our skirts modestly, or boldly, by turns. Tripping down the street, our modest little steps are probably best, hems bouncing a little but not outrageously. Stepping onto the dancefloor, we encounter the allure of spinning, allowing our skirts to fly like birds, the joy of flashing our undies. The choice between modesty and boldness lies not only in the ways we move, but in which skirt we select. There is an enormous range of variations on the theme of the skirt. They cannot only vary from the tightest sheath-like creations to full circle skirts - but the hemline can be anywhere between the floor and the upper thigh. To judge from the people I see, mini skirts are very popular with trannies. I have several of them myself - they're so hard to resist. The trouble with a mini is that it allows little scope for the "now you see, now you don't" tease. Of course, they do allow the possibility of knicker-flash - that said, flashing one's knickers in a really pleasing way whilst wearing a very short skirt is less easy than it may seem. It can be done - tennis players provide a good example - but it will require a bit of thought and practice. This element of putting thought and practice into getting the most out of wearing a skirt is, surely, a factor in the skirt being such an object of desire. Effective skirt wearing is an art, and  
  Art f642_368gnrsxdofskirtspage4.jpgThe element of developing an art is found in much of what transvestites do. Applying make-up is a good example - the first time one tries to apply cosmetics, the result is usually a mess. It takes time, practice and patience to get it right. Insofar as wearing a skirt is an art, however, it's significantly different from applying amke-up. The art of doing our faces is one of getting ready. The art of wearing a skirt is one which continues throught our time spent cross dressing. There is a contrast, too, with other feminine arts which continue beyond the process of getting ready. Wlaking in high heels is definitely an art, and one that isn't easily acquired. There is however respite from walking in heels every time we sit down. A skirt still needs to be managed while (and especially so) we are sitting. The act of sitting with any decorum in a crinoline must have been quite a challenge for Edward Boulton, Frederick Park, and their fellow Victorian trannies. It involved sliding into the seat with the utmost care - plonking oneself straight down into the chair would have pushed the skirt hoops up into a vertical position, violently and startlingly disarranging the garment. The effect of sitting down without caution in modern skirts is less dramatic, but the act can expose areas we might choose to keep hidden. The idea of choice is central, here. We may choose to expose our thighs or even our knickers, but if we cannot control our hemlines there is no choice. It is in the exercise of such choices, in calculating our degree of exposure, that a lot of the pleasure in skirt wearing lies. Neither does control over the skirt cease to be an issue once one is seated. A skirt can easily ride up slowly while one is sitting. That, I think is the decisive factor in many women choosing to sit on public transport with large bags on their laps. At some point in our transvestite development, the desire to present a genuinely convincing feminine appearance is almost certain to arise. The first time one sits in a skirt, exposing ones underwear, will probably feel exciting. Sooner or later, though, there arises a feeling that a real woman wouldn't do this. One may regard a skirt therefore not just as something to wear, but a teacher - an instructor in the ways of femininity. Walking in a tight skirt, it is worth taking careful note of the way it restricts the length of onne's stride. There is a pleasure in feeling the tug of the hemline, but, to learn something, ignore the pleasure. Take shorter steps. Reduce them to the point where the skirt no longer restircts the stride. Look carefully at that short-step gait in the mirror - does it make you appear more feminine? I'd be surprised if it didn't. To learn from a fuller skirt, and to learn about feminine ways of sitting, the mirror is needed again. Sit down in front of a full length mirror. How far does your skirt ride up? Could you sit in a different way with less effect on your hemline? Try composing your legs in different ways - crossing them near the ankle; crossing your thighs; placing your ankle on the opposing thigh. You'll soon see why the last of those postures is so entirely masculine. Press your legs tightly together, then spread them far apart. Your skirts speak volumes about masculine and feminine body language, if you watch what they're telling you. Mirror work to learn more subtle points can involve switching viewpoints. Imagine you are a woman trying to give subtle encouragement to a man sitting opposite, without wishing to appear cheap or vulgar. How do you arrange your skirt? Just how much leg do you display? Now imagine you're the man sitting opposite. The reflection in the mirror is a woman you don't know. What do you think of her? Is it too blatant a come-on? Are you intrigued? Be honest...  
  f642_199gnrsxdofskirtspage5.jpgSkirts are to be enjoyed!! All of this mirror work revolves around manipulating your skirts, seeing what works, what doesn't, what looks vulgar, what's enticing. There is a lot of fun - and a lot of instruction - to be had before ever taking your skirts beyond the bedroom door. Once out on the street, or in a trannie-friendly venue, your skirts can be a whole lot more fun. They are there to be enjoyed!! Skirts are not only fun, but comfortable. They're not as restrictive as trouser, and they don't chafe the legs. The inner thighs are amongst the more sensitive parts of the body - stroking them can release powerful sensual feelings. The effect of chafing these delicate areas with rough trousers is not, I feel sure, something most men consider. Become used to the way a skirt feels, however, and we can hardly fail to notice - the skirt is so much more comfortable! Of course, skirts are generally worn with thigh-encasing hosiery: stockings or tights. Indeed, as the temperature drops, skirts cease to be comfortable without such hosiery. On a really cold night, it is not comfortable without thick tights. But wearing stockings or tights is not at all like wearing trousers. They don't rub the thighs so much as move with them, like a second skin. As well as being physically comfortable, skirts bring a sense of freedom. Our legs escape from the restrictions imposed by their individual cloth tubes. The thighs can rub against each other. There's a whole gamut of extraordinarily pleasant sensations. Not only does a skirt give a sense of freedom to the wearer, but the freedom extends to people with whom we're on intimate terms. I never heard of sexual dalliance in the form of a hand up the trousers - a hand up the skirt is another matter. The openness of a skirt gives the hand plenty of room to manoeuvre. It's pleasant for the person whose hand it is, but in my experience it's a lot more pleasant for the person in the skirt. Thinking about that particular joy of skirts seems a good place to leave this article. At the time of writing, I own 54 skirts - not counting my dresses - tight, full, long, shorter; such a variety that it feels as though there could never be too many. They're fun for me, and I trust they are also for friends and special friends... Keep the skirts twirling! I think that's what transvestism is all