Frequently Asked Questions

Nov 201520

Coming to Terms With Transvestism

---cdata-eal-admin--- frequently asked questions

I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist, so what gives me the qualifications to write about transvestism? I write purely from experience, having been a heterosexual transvestite for many years... I first discovered the pleasure that cross dressing gave me during my early twenties, when I secretly donned some of my wife's underwear. The effect was immediate and resulted in an uncontrolled ejaculation, which in turn left me with a feeling of guilt and disgust. However, the desire to wear women's clothes became so great that those secret flights of fancy continued whenever the opportunity arose. Also I had become more adventurous and had purchased some clothing of my own: these of course had to be hidden, and so deceitfulness was added to my list of sins. Over the next ten years I was becoming increasingly frustrated by the enforced limited duration, and lack of opportunities, for my trips into my alter ego. Also I was becoming increasingly guilty about keeping the whole secret from my wife. So I decided to tell all, naively hoping she would understand and allow me to 'dress' at any time in the house. It obviously comes as a great shock for a wife to discover that her husband likes to prance about in ladies' undies. She did, however, agree to give it a try and I dressed myself in a skirt and jumper, and a pair of mule slippers. At this time I used neither a wig nor make-up and I realise now what a bizarre sight I must have presented. It was clearly not going to work, and if continued it would obviously cause a break up of the marriage. The only thing to do was to stop, put temptation behind me and live a 'normal', 'healthy' life - if only I had known then what I know now. During the next twelve months or so I became more and more irritable and unreasonable until I eventually I suffered a near nervous breakdown, confessed all to my doctor and finished up in the psychiatric ward of the local hospital. All this eventually cost me my job and my marriage. I will skip briefly over the next forty-odd years of my life, only to say that I did marry again, but this time I told my wife of my transvestite tendencies before my marriage. Cross Dressing On the whole it was a very happy partnership in all respects, my cross dressing continued but not in my wife's presence, and by arranging for her to have the odd week or two away on holiday now and then the frustration was contained. Although there were many times when I felt I must get away, the love for my wife was the thing that stopped me. My wife has recently died and I now live alone which gives me the opportunity to dress all day, three or four times a week, within the confines of my home. I have braved the outside world on a couple of occasions in the past, but only for a few hours and much as I would like to live completely as a woman, at seventy years of age I feel the disruption to my life would be too great.

So, having spent about fifty years seeing doctors and psychiatrists, taking tablets, considering suicide and doing other daft things, I offer the following as a possible aid to understanding transvestism, facing up to it and removing some of the shame and guilt you may feel in succumbing to your sexual fantasies: I hope it is of some help... Why do we want to cross dress? What determines our personality? Our genes, our upbringing, our experiences, our environment: all play a part in determining the kind of person we are. A traumatic experience can change our outlook on life but it is our basic personality or character, call it what you will, that determines our reaction to these things. Some people are aggressive, not necessarily in the physical sense, but in terms of their approach to life in general. Others are more submissive, and given the same environment and upbringing will react differently to the same set of circumstances. The point is: there are a number of inborn basic characteristics that do not change irrespective of any other outside influences, they merely change our reaction to them. Our sex is determined by our genes, so why should our sexuality not also be determined by some other factor in our genes, making us either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual? I do not believe that one becomes homosexual or bisexual as a result of some outside experience. Carry this theory a little further and consider the cartoon character who believes he is Napolean, or the Elvis fan who dresses as, and mimics, his idol. These are fanatics who so worship their idol that they want to be that person. It is an inborn need to become the object of their desire, let's say the 'wannabe factor'. So now, let us first take the genes that have determined our sex, add the factor that has determined our sexuality and increase it's influence in our lives, and finally add the 'wannabe factor'. Bingo! You have the perfect recipe for a transvestite. Learning to live with it Are we abnormal? In terms of what is socailly acceptable, yes, we are abnormal, although the size of the mail order and personal shopping market indicates that we are a fairly large percentage of the population. We were born different (yes, I do believe the problem is genetic), as others are born with physical or mental disabilities. Whilst they are partially accepted into society, depending on the degree of their disability, we don't fit into a convenient slot, and society, on the whole, doesn't know how to deal with us. We are an embarrassment and therefore become the subject of snide jokes, ignored in the hope we go away, or in extreme cases hounded out of town.

Unless you are fortunate enough to have the right stature and features, and can pass fairly easily when dressed and made-up as a female, it means the only outlet for us is the confines of our homes - we must not be found out, we would become outcasts. Should we feel guilt or shame? Providing what we do harms no other person, either physically or mentally, there should be no rational reason for feeling guilty. Neither should we feel ashamed of what we are, but unfortunately we feel ashamed of other peoples' perception of us. If we have the courage to 'come out', as many do and eventually become if not totally accepted then tolerated, then our shame and guilt would disappear. But this is the real world and unless you are fortunate enough to be able, physically, to pass as a woman then the stress and strain of continually being looked upon as a 'freak' may mean we have traded in one set of problems only to be confounded by another. Coming Out I am sure we all often feel the frustration of having to limit our activities to the confines of the home and would dearly love to 'come out' and damn the consequences. If only we could be found out and the decision made for us, life would be so much easier. But beware, speaking from experience I can tell you that unless you intend to go all the way, being accidentally found out only compounds the problem and you can be left with the task of having to rebuild your life. My advice to any of you having the courage to 'come out' is: do it sooner rather than later, it will never get easier. Will it go away? As stated earlier, I believe that transvestism is inborn and not the result of a childhood environment. or the fact that when you were a lad some nasty man put his hand down your trousers one night in the cinema. I can look back to when I was about five or six years old and remember the fascination I had with young ladies and girls, which of course could be said to be quite normal (our sensuality is alive and well from a very early age). But I can see now that what I felt was different. I seemed to envy their femininity. What must be appreciated is that although cross dressing is something from which we can derive great pleasure and release, once satisfied the urge returns in a relatively short space of time. The major part of your life is dominated by this desire for femininity and I can assure you it does not go away.

I am afraid that we must all find our own salvation. Some may be fortunate and find a satisfactory solution, but whatever you do, try and obey the following rules: The Golden rule. Don't harm any other person, either mentally or physically. Know yourself and be honest with yourself. Don't feel guilt / shame. Accept youself for what you are. Don't marry unless you find a partner who is prepared (or even pleased!) to accept your cross dressing. If you do decide to come out and/or have the op, do it sooner rather than later. The compulsion to 'dress' transcends all other considerations and this is where we must be careful that our actions do not have a damaging and irreversible effect on our lives, or on the lives of those dearest to us. In these circumstances, the quick temporary solution is - to put it bluntly - masturnation. But this is not what we want. We want to savour the feeling of being dressed as a woman, and we want that feeling to last, not supress it. It is in these moments of almost fanatical desire that we must be thankful that we are neither rapists nor paedophiles. These people are obviously driven by an uncontrollable urge to act in the way they do, but as their actions have a serious effect on other people's lives they must be forcibly restrained from acting out their urges. Thinking along these lines, and no doubt we all do at times, can make us feel what a thin line we tread between the obscene and the deviate. Much as we rightly revile the actions of these people, we have a much better understanding of the emotions that drive them to commit their offences. Do not despair or castigate yourself for having this affliction - and affliction it is. At least we can live a normal life in all other respects, and the worst that can happen is that we become an object of ridicule.

Nov 201520

Free Personal Advisory Services

---cdata-eal-admin--- frequently asked questions, how to guides

Free Personal Advisory Services

Are You * New to Cross Dressing? * Inexperienced at dressing realistically? * Looking for a change of image? * Wanting professional help and advice? * Needing confidence building before venturing out in public? Then this is the free service for you! Here at Transformation we are sensitive to the fact that some of our customers simply don't know "where to start" when it comes to dressing. We have a simple answer and it's completely free! Simply visit one of our Transformation Shops and let a mature image consultant gently guide you. In the privacy of our changing rooms she will select for you all the products to magically mould your feminine hourglass curves. It will exceed all expectations. Because we passionately believe all cross dressers should have the opportunity to visualise their feminine potential and enjoy the sensation of wearing silicone breasts and foundation garments we are offering this service FREE OF CHARGE. This discreet facility which takes about 30 minutes is available at your nearest Transformation shop and you do not need to book an appointment. Simply walk in and ask - this is a wonderful opportunity to see that woman of your dreams - YOU! "Transformation, thank you for a wonderful experience, to feel truly feminine was a big boost for my self esteem. I enjoyed my day immensely. There is something really nice about being feminine and I have embarked on my journey to achieving the ultimate in grace, beauty, gentleness and of course perfection." Diane Check out pictures of our Changeaway Services Free Feminine Hormone Advisory Service DO YOU * Dream of growing your own breasts? * Want to reduce your beard and body hair? * Desire soft skin and a natural womanly shape? * Want to feel more womanly inside? * Need informal counselling? * Require guidance because of gender identity issues? * Need information about the Albany Identity Clinic? Then this free service is for you! For many years Transformation has been fulfilling the the hope and dreams of many men who want to feminise their own body. Our shops stock a wide range of feminising hormones which will help you to achieve the desired effects. Top of the list are the new maxi-strength hormone range now available without a doctor's prescription. Naturally having so much choice, it can be an overwhelming decision to decide which are the most suitable products for you. Simply visit your nearest Transformation Shop and we will advise you on a personal programmes for your needs (remember all the products are safe, can be used discreetly and will not interfere with your masculinity) We want you to be completely satisfied. If ever we fail please let us know immediately and give us the chance to put it right.

Nov 201520

Myths about Transvestism

---cdata-eal-admin--- frequently asked questions

MYTH: ALL transvestites are gay. FALSE. Since the Drag Queen and transvestic prostitute are highly visible members of the social picture and dramatized on the evening television news, occasionally in television "dramas" and the print media the "average" transvestite is, naturally tarred with the same brush even though in truth few "average" TVs are gay or engage in same-sex sex acts. In fact, MOST transvestites are heterosexual while only a small minority are bi-sexual or exclusively homosexual. This latter statement is supported by the results of a study done by Dr. Wardell Pomeroy (co-author of the famous "Kensey Reports" and director of the San Francisco based Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality) which found that 68% of cross-dressing males are exclusively heterosexual while only 50% of non-cross-dressing males are exclusively heterosexual. It should also be pointed out that some gay males are also, incidentally, transvestites but do not crossdress for the purpose of attracting males, either gay or straight for sexual purposes. MYTH: A transvestite is a potential transsexual. FALSE. The opinion that transvestites are latent, undeveloped or potential transsexuals, is false. Any other form of ignorance is the result of oversimplification and the failure to make distinctions. It IS true both the transvestite and transsexual wear feminine clothing, but they do so for different purposes. While the transvestite often dresses for the physical pleasure of this form of fetishism he always retains or reverts back to and maintains his male gender-identity. It is also true that many transvestites, upon initially bursting forth from their closet assume, because of the lack of information on the subject, they are transsexual. But a TRUE transvestite is quite happy to retain his male gender-role and perform sexually as a male -- although he may OCCASIONALLY fantasize he is the female partner. Definition and Description of Transvestism. It is of the utmost importance to establish the distinctions between transsexualism and transvestism. Originally, a transsexual (TS) was thought to be a type of transvestite (TV). Outside of the fact both dress in apparel normally reserved for opposite physically gendered individuals, although for different purposes and reasons, and, to a certain point in life, live in constant fear of discovery, they have very little in common. Strictly speaking the transsexual is NOT cross-dressing when she wears feminine clothing. Rather SHE cross dresses by wearing masculine clothing to conform with Society's dress code for the physical male. The bi-gendered or cross-gendered person (both the TS and the TV) may start, as early in life as perhaps age 5 years wearing items of opposite sex apparel. Often the apparel worn/used, usually lingerie, are items of mother's or a sister taken either from the laundry or their fresh clothing supply. Occasionally, in early stages, lingerie will be purchased for personal use. It is NOT unusual for the transvestite to use items of feminine apparel as sexual gratification aids in the early stages of sexual awakening. This practice may continue into late adulthood. Occasionally an item or type of apparel, such a bra or panties, or garter-belt and hose, etc., may become a fetish item and required to be worn for, or at least close at hand during, completion of the sex act. Cross-genderists are secretive, because their life-styles are not considered, by non-participants, socially acceptable.

A transvestic male identifies primarily as a male who has and retains male gender-identity. Often the transvestite is married and the father of children. The transvestite seldom, voluntarily, confesses his need to cross-dress to his spouse, usually because of the fear of non-acceptance and the resultant rejection, although some women not only accept crossdressing and the associated behavior but seek out males having those needs and traits and actively participate in the "game" -- sometimes with each partner reversing roles, not only in social, but in sexual, situations. Some TVs profess to be alternately or intermittently bi-gendered, although most of the time they feel and behave like a normal male. A transvestite is satisfied with being a male and generally enjoys the role. It is possible for a transvestite to adopt the female gender-role while retaining his male gender-identity, but THAT is a rare combination. Transvestites DO NOT, by definition, want sex reassignment surgery, although a sizable proportion self-diagnose as transsexual when they initially burst forth from "the closet". Thankfully, saner heads prevail and irreversible reassignment surgery does not occur. (One of the logical reasons for the frustrating, to the true TS, waiting period and Real Life Test.) A transvestite is, usually, a heterosexual male having a periodic or episodic, sometimes fetishistic, urge to dress in opposite sex clothing. The feminine apparel apparently reinforces the male gender-identity and may intensify male sexual satisfaction. The subconscious mind, apparently, associates dressing in opposite sex apparel with women as sex objects and their own formative male sexual drive; it became imprinted with the same mechanisms which form other fetishes such as the shoe fetish, the panty fetish, the leg fetish, the breast fetish or a fetish for other parts of the female body. A transvestic fetish is intensified by virtue of the fact that, by actually wearing the fetish items (of feminine apparel) the transvestite is in intimate proximity of, and contact, with the objects. He, often, derives sensual pleasure from the feminine quality of the fabrics; he is reminded of his REAL sex object (the female body) through the simulation of the outward presence of a woman, and he can take satisfaction in the dissemblance of knowing he is REALLY a man under the feminine finery. Transvestites are, perhaps, more rejected even more than transsexuals because the TS at least attempts to accommodate Society by changing to a full-time apparent, and as completely as possible to a, woman while the transvestite switches mode of dress, if not role, back and forth adding confusion to, at least, his visible gender-identity. Article from http://www.rainbowtrail.info/sept4.html

Nov 201520

About Payment and Ordering

---cdata-eal-admin--- frequently asked questions, how to guides

ABOUT PAYMENT AND ORDERING

Payment options

VISA CREDIT & DEBIT CARDS

MASTERCARD CREDIT & DEBIT CARDS

AMERICAN EXPRESS

INTERBANK TRANSFERS

C.O.D (within the Euro Monetary Zone)

EURO & STERLING CHEQUES

CASH (BY REGISTERED POST ONLY)

POSTAL ORDERS

( We do not accept USA/Canada Money Order)

All parcels are securely wrapped & contain no exterior clue as to their contents. In 28 years we have shipped to EVERY country in the world with just some exceptions*

UPS EXPRESS

ROYAL MAIL FIRST CLASS

C.O.D (within the Euro Monetary Zone

How long will it take to receive my order?

We despatch 96% of all orders within 24 hours. The delivery time depends on your location and the method of delivery chosen. UK- 1^st Class Royal Mail – 2 days UK- UPS Express- Next Day( excludes Saturday) Please Note UK- excludes all Channel Islands) E.U- 1^st Class Royal Mail- 4 to 14 days E.U- UPS Express- upto 3 days Please Note E.U Includes all Channel Islands. USA+CANADA- 1^ST Class Royal Mail- 7 to 28 days USA+CANADA- UPS Express – upto 4 days. ALL Other Countries- UPS Express upto 7 days.

How can I order without a credit card?

You can browse the site as normal, adding items to your shopping cart, and then choose 'print out your order' from the shopping cart screen. You can then post your order to us with appropriate payment - for example, personal cheque, bankers draft, postal order or International Money Order. All Cheques/Checks , Postal Orders and Bankers Drafts must be made payable to “SERCUS LIMITED”. We are sorry but we cannot accept USA/Canada Money Orders INTERBANK TRANSFERS Here are our Bank Account Details; Name Of Bank- BARCLAYS BANK Address P.O. Box 1330, Flint, United Kingdom, CH65WJ. Bank Account Number 83515192 Bank Sort Code 20-25-69 For Payments in £ GBP Sterling IBAN number is GB17 BARC 2025 6983 515192 SWIFTBIC number is BARCGB22. For Payments in € euros IBAN number is GB65 BARC 2025 6989 0654 44 SWIFTBIC number is BARCGB22 For Payments in $ USD US Dollars IBAN number is GB52 BARC 2025 6972 5200 00 SWIFTBIC number is BARCGB22

How discreetly are parcels sent, and how is it shown on my credit card statement?

All our goods are sent in plain packaging and there is a return address on the back: Sercus Ltd and our UK head office in Manchester. Your credit card statement will show a payment to Sercus Ltd and all cheques and money orders can also be made out to Sercus Ltd.

How do I order an item from your catalogue that isn't on the website?

Please DO NOT send your credit card details by email - this is not secure. If you visit here you can enter your order using the same security level as our online ordering. We would need your name, address, credit card type/number/expiry date, telephone number and the items you wish to order. Don't forget to include postage costs in your total (rates are shown at the top of this page).

Returns and Refunds

You may return unused and unopened products within 7 days for alternative items, less postage costs. In the event of a product or item being faulty, defective items will be replaced with a similar or alternative item. N.B. US customers please do not return goods via UPS Delivery, if you are unsure please contact our Customer Services Department for more information.

Cash On Delivery Service

Did you know you can pay for your order on delivery? Click here for details

Nov 201520

Breast Forms FAQs

---cdata-eal-admin--- frequently asked questions, how to guides

BREAST FORMS FAQS

Here are some common questions that you may be wondering about with regards to your new breast forms.

What is a breast form?

A breast form is a prosthesis worn either inside a bra or attached to the body to simulate the weight, bounce, feel, movement, and especially shape of the natural female breast. Depending on the material or shape used, these qualities can be achieved to different degrees. More expensive modern breast forms, such as our born again breasts and creme de la creme breasts, are designed by computers and can even be attached to the chest. They can be worn with strapless dresses and lingerie, sleeping (though not recommended for most types of silicone breasts) or even during strenuous activity.

What kind of Breast Forms should I get?

The predominant material used in the more expensive commercial breast forms is silicone gel inside a very thin, slick plastic shell with tapered edges. Other materials such as rubber/latex, foam, or cotton batting are sometimes used. Here are the main qualities of each of the types of materials used to help in deciding if a certain material is right for you.

Silicone

Good Points The material gives the form a comparable weight, movement and feel of a natural breast. The silicone can be coloured; many forms of this type are available in a variety of shades to match skin tone. Realistic nipples and areolas can also be produced. The material of this type of form warms to your body temperature and feels very comfortable. Silicone can be whipped with air to produce forms just as realistic, yet are much lighter to wear. It is NOT the same material that was used in breast implants. It is similar, but the main problem with silicone implants came from their use INSIDE the body. Even if a breast form is punctured, the contents can not be absorbed through the skin. Bad Points Many silicone forms come in only 1-3 color shades. While this is still more shades than any of the other material options, people are not limited to just a few different colors. People's skin shades even differ with the season and the amount of sun their skin receives...a silicone form can not adapt to these changes. Even given the variety of shapes, sizes and styles of silicone breast forms, you may not be able to find the right match for an existing breast. Built-in or attachable nipples will not react to temperature changes (become erect) like a real nipple will, so, all other things being equal, there may be some external visual differences between a silicone form and an existing breast in certain circumstances.

Rubber/Latex

Cheaper alternative to silicone, while still retaining some of the qualities of silicone that make it so desirable. While still having some of the qualities of silicone to a certain degree, rubber/latex can not dare to match the weight, feel or movement of even the cheapest silicone forms. Some people are allergic to rubber or latex.

How long can I expect my breast forms to last?

Many silicone forms have 2 year warranties, and you should be able to get at least that much life out of one. Be sure to inspect your forms regularly for any defects that might develop within the warranty period. Silicone forms may split their outer envelope seams, wrinkle or develop internal bubbles, while fiberfilled or foam forms may change their shape, decay, crease or become compressed. The lifespan involved is dependent again on how much the form is worn.

How do I Choose The Right Breast Forms For Me?

If you have a small frame, probably A or B cup will suit you; medium frame B to C cup; and a large frame D to DD cup. There are no hard and fast rules so you can be as small or as large as you are comfortable with, depending on your lifestyle. A larger cup size gives you a much more buxom look.

But remember that you can be whatever size you want to be!

Form Fitting Made Easy Measure around your rib cage, underneath your breasts, where the band of your bra sits. Make sure to pull the tape snug and keep it flat against your back. Add 5 to this number (if you end up with an odd number, round up to the closest even number). This number is your bra size. Example: 29 inches +5 = size 34. Measure around the fullest part of your breast, again keeping the tape snug, but not tight, and parallel to the rib-cage line. If this measurement is an odd number, round up to the next even number. Example: 37 inches rounds up to 38. To determine your cup size, subtract the first measurement from the second. You can only get bra band sizes in even number only (e.g. 36, 38, 40). If you measure 38" your bras band size will be 38 or 40. Please note this is a guideline only. If you have a bra and are unsure of your size. Then choose the breast form style you want, send us your height, weight, band, and cup size of the bra you have and we will choose breast forms to match.

Do I need a special bra to wear a breast form?

This depends usually on the fashions you wish to wear while using your form, but for a more seamless look, a full coverage bra will be better suited to a breast form. Most breast form manufacturers also carry special lines of bras that contain a pocket that the form can be placed in to reduce movement of the form while worn. Bras with pockets also give you a layer of fabric between the form and your body - diminishing potential allergy/sensitivity problems. The more support offered, the better the fit, since there will be less chance for the form to move in the bra. Bras with underwires tend to work better than those with just elastic because they offer better support for the form (the same reasoning that applies to natural breasts). Push-up bras, on the other hand, will generally not work with breast forms, since they need to push something FROM someplace that it is attached. Unless the form is attached to the chest, this type of bra will have no chance to create the desired effect of enhanced cleavage.

How to fit a bra

The fullest part of the bust should fall approximately at the middle point between shoulder and elbow. If the bra has a horizontal seam it should be parallel to the ground. (If the seam goes up from horizontal, the straps are too tight; if it goes down, the straps are too loose.) Lean forward to let the breasts fall into the cups and fasten the closure to the MIDDLE set of fasteners.

A badly fitting bra.

The bottom band should ride snug but comfortable across the middle of the back and pass under the shoulder blades thus providing the necessary support. It too should be parallel to the ground. If the bottom band is too loose, it will ride up your back. Properly fitting bras should be primarily supported by the bottom/chest band, not just the shoulder strap. If shoulder straps dig in, the bra size is probably wrong. The bra cups should be large enough to give you necessary coverage and depth for your each of your breasts. If the breasts are bulging from their cups at the tops/sides or underwires are standing off your chest, the cup size is probably too small. If the cup is not big enough, some breast tissue may spill out, providing inadequate support. A good fit - the breasts fit into the cups completely with no bulges over the top, under the arms, or out the bottom. Adjust the shoulder straps to give firm but comfortable uplift to the bustline. You should be able to run one finger smoothly under the shoulder straps to prevent them from digging in to the shoulders. The shoulder straps should be vertical, front and back. Straps not vertical indicate wrong size or a poor construction. It explains straps falling off the shoulder in normal use or cutting into shoulders. Underwires should lie flat against your chest/rib cage and should not chafe or rub together.

Nov 201520

Kismet or Karma?

---cdata-eal-admin--- frequently asked questions, how to guides

Kismet or Karma?

And yet, I have found myself recently - especially when enjoying peace and beauty - thanking God for giving me the chance to see life from two standpoints, and for the intense enjoyment, fulfillment, freedom and happiness which the release of my feminine persona brings. I am in my fifies, and have been successful in my career as a male in a conventional social role, but I've always felt like an imposter or an actor, (perhaps 'actress' is the better word). My earliest memories are of enying girls and wanting to be like them. Under the impression that I was unique in this respect, I grew up compensating, denying myself, deliberately taking part in the roughest and most competitive masculine sports. Yet, whenever the opportunity arose to wear my Mother's clothes I did so, even occasionally going out in them at night. I can, now, with the utmost clarity and sense of joy, remember the feeling that flooded through me when I first put on a skirt. It was as if, having been on a long and tiring journey, I suddenly arrived home, to find light and warmth, safety and comfort. It was as though I had slammed the door behind me on the dark, dismal, dangerous night outside. That happened nearly fifty years ago, and I have lived as a woman, at first quietly and privately, but recently in public, on many occasions since. Skirts and dresses have become natural and ordinary when in my feminine role, yet still an element of that sense of "homecoming" remains with me. I feel complete, no longer acting a part, and happy. So, why, do I and so many others have to live most of our lives in a half world, living a lie, acting as a male, while feeling female, and never able to be wholly alive? Is it sexual deviancy, hormone inbalance, or something far deeper and more mysterious, which we can only guess at? I have been in contact, in different parts of the world, with several religions, and I am convinced that we return to this life many times, working our way to perfection. It is possible that a person born into one life as a woman, can remember that in later incarnations? I am convinced that is the only way to explain that reassuring feeling of homecoming, when we finally admit to ourselves that we are more comfortable as women. I feel "myself", when I don female garb but, oddly enough, receive no physical sexual excitement at all.

Had I been born with a female body I would have wanted a normal married life, but the thought of a homosexual relationship repels me. I don't consider myself homosexual. I love pretty clothes and feminine frivolity, and revel in the contrast with my normal role, but there is more to it than that. Clothes are accessories only, yet something strange happens when I've been wearing them for a couple of days or so. I began to look and feel feminine; my voice comes naturally at a higher pitch, and my walk and gestures become feminine. Do I trigger the production of female hormones by stimulating femininity? That is probably medical nonsense, but certainly something happens, and I have seen enough strange occurrences in Africa and the Far East to be sure that are happenings outside our normal comprehension. I am certain I have lived before as a woman, perhaps many times, and my hope is that I shall return again to that role. I also find it strange that it doesn't seem to matter that I was born into the developed western world. Even with what I know of the dreadfully hard and deprieved life experienced by the majority of women in Africa and Asia, I would exchange my life for their tommorrow, were it possible without causing hurt and sadness to others here. So, in addition to clothes, conventional Western beauty and elegance do not matter that much. (Although given a choice my preference would lie in that direction.) It would be enough to be female. In fact, one of the continual dreams which I have had since childhood, (long before puberty incidentally) which is perhaps a window into the past, is of being a slender brown girl in a tropical climate, wearing only a sari or sarong kabaya, with bright flowers in my long dark hair. Well, one day maybe! Since I discovered the shop at Bury Old Road, and Stephanie's utterly professional, friendly, helpful and so understanding staff there, I have been able to allow my femininity some release. They showed me how I could be translated into an elegant, convincing and well dressed middle aged lady. Since then, luckily, being able to arrange my work conviently, I have lived for more days at a time in the role which I am more and more sure is the one meant for me. I find that as a woman I am an entirely different person, with different interests and a different personality. As a man I have always been self sufficient and a "loner," but as a woman I love company and find I fit in with other people much better as a female. Both men and women seem to like to talk to me and often other people have initiated the conversation. In fact, I've intercepted one or two annoyed glances from ladies whose husbands have become involved in conversation with me! This does my ego, and confidence, the world of good! I enjoy visiting Cathedrals, churches and Museums or National Trust Houses, when that sort of contact happens - like having my hand held overlong by a Vicar who seemed to be really enjoying showing off to his female visitor! These places are not of much interest to my male side. Neither is "good" music, which I love as a women. Another aspect of my treatment as a middle aged and well dressed woman, which flatters and pleases me is the courtesy and niceness shown by so many people. Men do hold the door open, or step aside, and it feels marvellous. I enjoy going to Church - again this is the complete reversal - and feel very close to God there. I don't feel that He (or She!) minds how I dress, and welcomes me. I don't worry about the injunction in the Bible that the sexes should not wear each others clothing. I am - mentally and psychologically - a woman.

I have taught myself to cook a little, (through I am still having difficulty in coping with five things at once), and to sew and knit, and gain immense pleasure from all three. A fluffy woollen hat and matching scarf are currently in production for the forthcoming winter, and the wearing of these, together with the skirt which I am sewing will be as great an achievement as anything in my life. I even enjoy arranging flowers, which is utterly alien to my male role. Strangely I am a noticeably worse driver as a woman, indecisive and lacking concentration. However, perhaps this is understandable, as I simply cannot resist looking at myself in the mirror, rather than the road behind! Even when playing my usual part as a male, there are changes since I made the effort to escape from my imprisonment. I look at other women in a different way - in the way that a woman would look at them, assessing their clothes and hair wondering if they would present any challenge or competition to me. Although I carry on in the male part, more and more my thoughts are femininely orientated - for example I identify with the female lead in a film or play rather than the male, and despite my contenion that clothes are only an accessory rather than an end in themselves, I am intensely interested in them. I have an embrassingly large collection, from an expensive fur coat to a sun dress, which to my astonishment I found that I could wear with a strategically placed scarf around my shoulders! Naturally I also enjoy experimenting with scent and make-up, and although nowhere near as expert as the girls at Bury Old Road, can now do a fair job on myself, fair enough anyway to be totally accepted as a woman in all sorts of situations, shops, transport, restaurants, in fact everywhere that I confidently go. But, where do I go from here? To be honest, I don't know. I became locked by circumstances into the male role before sex change operations became possible. Were I twenty or thirty I think that would be an option, but not now. Too many others are involved. Instead, I think that I am living in hope of the future, that God is going to say to me "Sorry, a finger slipped with your moulding, but we'll get it right next time around." If that thought brings any hope or comfort to others in my position then these lines will have been worth while. If anyone has doubts about what can be done to escape, albeit temporarily, from a male incarceration, then don't have. Try it. Get advice from the girls at Transformation. You may be embarrassed, fearful or shy; I was all three, but they were marvellous. I felt at ease and at home very very quickly, and that's not all bad after fifty years of locking it away in my heart! The joy and excitement which you will get from hearing a waiter or shop assistant say "Thank you Madame" will make any initial trauma well worth while, I promise you. Don't be ashamed either. We are as that unknown Deity made us, and indeed what is there to be ashamed of in wanting to be part of the better and nicer half of humanity?! Of course I am sad for what I have missed. I would have been delighted in being a Wife and Mother, and indeed Grandmother, and I'm sure I'd have been good at all three, but I'm proud of the femininity that I do have, proud to be the nicer person that I have become, and intensely thankful for what I have experienced, in both roles. The thought of the woman that I could have been, and perhaps, if there truly is another life, will be again, both excites and comforts me. Don't be afraid of life - get help, get advice, and be proud of yourself. I did, and I am.

Nov 201520

All You Need

---cdata-eal-admin--- frequently asked questions, how to guides

ALL YOU NEED

Our female figure moulding, transforming and feminising products have been developed, designed and and manufactured exclusively by Transformation. Our aim being to give you that amazing convincing look and all over feel of a real lady. Many first time visitors to the website and our shops are a little overwhelmed by the array and choice of products. If you ever get a chance to visit one of our shops then you will be offered a one on one personal advisory service by one of our friendly mature female staff, who will show you all you will need for convincing femininity. To assist you on this site we have listed below our top ten items that you will need from "head to toe" to achieve your dream of convincing femininity.

1. Most important of all - breasts. If you can afford the best then it has to be our "Creme De La Creme" silicone breasts. Plus with our adhesive kits you an even experience the joy of going bra-less.

2. For that hourglass female waistline you will need a tight lacing corset. This will pull your waist in by up to 8 inches (20cm).

3. To hide and tuck away your maleness you will need one of our realistic vaginas or maybe a cache sex
4. For those essential female body shaping curves, our hip and bottom shaping garments will give you extra inches, where you need them - on your hips and bottom.

5. Beautiful lingerie silky, lacy, satin, sheer and see thru. You will need a bra, knickers, suspenders, petticoats and slip. Why not include a basque. Not forgetting your hosiery - stockings or tights, sheer, seamed or fishnet.

6. Top clothing. With so much to choose from, including short sexy mini skirts or clingy lycra dresses and fun uniforms.

7. Footwear. Court shoes, sandals or boots. From one inch to six inches. If it's your first pair we would suggest no higher than four inch heels. You will be amazed how feminine and slender your legs will look in a pair of our stilletto heels.

8. Your crowning glory - a beautiful wig. Long or short, curly or straight with hundreds to chose from you are sure to find what you are looking for.

9. Cosmetics. A must have is our miracle cover kit, to hide your dark shadow areas. Then we would suggest our complete Transformation make up kit. Not sure where it all goes or how to apply it? Then include our make up lesson DVD or vhs video.

10. Then finally remember "Accessorise to Feminise". Every woman just loves wearing jewellery. Include a pair of our dangly clip on earrings, a necklace, a bracelet, a ring and last but not last a hand bag.

Nov 201520

The History of Transsexual Surgery

---cdata-eal-admin--- frequently asked questions

While cases have been reported throughout history of males feminized by means of castration, sex-reassignment surgery did not come about until the 20th century. The first complete male-to-female operations were performed in Germany in the early 1930s on patients referred by pioneering sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld (whose writings mention incomplete attempts dating back to 1912). Himself a homosexual, Hirschfeld was an early advocate for gay rights and was among the first to study transsexualism - a word he is thought to have coined. He often visited bars in Berlin catering to gays and transvestites as he researched the first-ever book on transgenderism, Die Transvestiten (1910). The first surgical sex change is variously attributed to two individuals who underwent the procedure in 1930 and 1931. Lili Elbe, formerly Danish painter Einar Wegener, had a series of operations that included the implantation of ovaries. Having undergone castration years earlier, a patient called Dorchen (born Rudolf Richter) received what is likely the first vaginoplasty, performed by Felix Abraham in Berlin. Some female-to-male transsexuals, like Alan Hart in 1918, also sought surgeries - such as ovary removal and mastectomy - to make their bodies better match their identities. The first sex-reassignment operation to enter the public spotlight in America was that of Christine Jorgensen. The New York Daily News broke the story in December 1952 with the headline "Ex-GI Becomes Blond Bombshell." Tall and attractive, Jorgensen became a popular nightclub performer. "Now, looking back, I realize it was the beginning of the Sexual Revolution," Jorgensen told an interviewer in 1986. "I just happened to be one of the trigger mechanisms." Harry Benjamin, a German-born doctor who practiced in New York City, traveled frequently to visit Europe's pre-eminent sexologists. In addition to Hirschfeld - whom Benjamin had met as a university student - he also visited renowned Austrian endocrinologist Eugen Steinach, who conducted some of the first experiments to change the sexual characteristics of animals by castration or implanting testicles. Benjamin later became acquainted with sex researcher Alfred Kinsey, who is thought to have sparked Benjamin's interest in transsexualism by introducing him to a patient who claimed to be a man trapped in a woman's body. Rejecting the prevailing view that transsexuals were either mentally ill or poorly adjusted homosexuals, Benjamin provided sympathetic care to hundreds of patients at his offices in New York and San Francisco in the 1950s. As the publicity surrounding Jorgensen's sex change gave transgender people new hope, Benjamin's practice exploded. He became known as the country's foremost expert on transsexualism, a distinction furthered by the publication of his groundbreaking 1966 book, The Transsexual Phenomenon. By the late 1950s, the care of transsexuals had improved markedly thanks to medical advances such as skin flap surgery (which reduced the need for disfiguring skin grafts) and hormone therapy. At that time, French plastic surgeon Georges Burou developed the modern penile-inversion technique. Female-to-male techniques improved as well, but creating a fully functional penis remained a surgical challenge. Despite these advances, few U.S. hospitals permitted sex-reassignment surgeries until the following decade. In the 1960s, the prestigious Johns Hopkins Medical Center set up a gender clinic, which began performing sex-reassignment surgeries in 1966. Some 40 or so university-affiliated gender clinics were established in the ensuing decade, including one at Stanford University in 1969. That same year, Stanley Biber, previously a general surgeon, began performing sex-reassignment operations in Trinidad, Colo., following hand-drawn sketches obtained from Johns Hopkins. Biber went on to become one of the most prominent surgeons in the field, performing 150 operations per year at the height of his career. In the wake of a 1979 study claiming that male-to-female transsexuals who received sex-reassignment surgery experienced "no objective improvement," gender clinics began to close - led by Johns Hopkins - until only a few remained. To avoid the poor outcomes the study revealed, a group of psychologists, physicians, and other experts created the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association (HBIGDA) and put together a standard of care meant to ensure that only appropriate candidates could obtain sex-reassignment surgery. Among the characteristics of a supposed good candidate was adherence to a traditional, heterosexual feminine or masculine role. According to the standards (which are still used today), a candidate must first undergo psychotherapy for at least three months. With approval from a psychologist, he or she can obtain a prescription for hormones, then complete the "Real-Life Experience" test, which requires living full-time as the desired gender. While many transsexuals lauded the HBIGDA standards, subsequent social and political shifts led to controversy. Some transgender people felt they should not have to jump through hoops to receive medical treatment, while others opposed the traditional gender role requirement. In response to such criticism, the latest revision of the standards (2001) relaxed these restrictions. In addition, an alternative standard of care was put forth by the International Conference on Transgender Law and Employment Policy in 1993, stating, "Persons have the right to express their gender identity through changes to their physical appearance, including the use of hormones and reconstructive surgery."

Nov 201520

Fembitions

---cdata-eal-admin--- frequently asked questions, how to guides

FEMBITIONS

Yes we all have them, 'ambitions' while we look or are in feminine mode. Let me give you an example. I am neither into motorbikes nor leather, but I have an ambition or a fantasy (let's call it a fembition), concerning both. It's not a sexual thing but something that the feminine side of me yearns to do. I have this vision of me, the female me, riding pillion behind a young cyclist. Both of us are appropriately dressed. I am encased on one of those all enveloping black figure hugging leather outfits, wearing heeled boots and have underneath, but unseen, as little underwear as is necessary. I recognise that leather and motorbikes have strong fantasy connections for some but this is not the case for me. It's just something that I'd love to do and have wanted to do for many years. The young man is purely there to steer and drive the bike, and provide a body for me to clutch to. Why I, who has never owned or ridden on a motorcycle should have this ambition, I have no idea. Is it the suppressed exhibitionist within me? Is it the promise of helpless dependency on the rider while he (or I suppose, she, I've never comsidered the rider's gender) puts the powerful machine through its paces and I hold on tightly? Is the unmistakable statement of gender, despite the disguising helmet, made by the figure hugging leather? Perhaps it's simply my feminine side's sense of adventure. The male me certainly wants nothing to do with motorcyles. I thought, until recently, that I was alone in these adventurous fembitions. After chatting with a friend I realised that not only was I not alone, but I had seen others fulfilling their ambitions, either not recognising what they were doing or hoping that no one would understand what drove them on. I am an amateur thespian. Amongst groups performing pantomines very often it is the same male that plays the dame, year after year. Now there's nothing wrong with that. He might be the only one capable of taking what is a very important and central part. He might be on an ego trip, determined to be the star each year. But equally there are some perennial 'dames' who would deny any interest such as ours, but fight tooth and nail to make sure that only they wear the dresses. Often the costume demands of these characters are quite extraordinary. How can you know which is which? The test, I discovered, is Mother Goose! Those of you who know the story will remember that Mother Goose has various wishes granted for money, power, beauty and often a full wardrobe we would all kill for. Frequently, since it gets the best audience reaction, MG ends dressed in the very height of fashion. perhaps like a current female pop singer - what a dream for a closet TV! But these males are very often not TV's, closet or otherwise, or so they claim. One, I know, is aggressively 'macho' and any suggestion that he had an 'unhealthy' interest like ours would immediately result in a bash on the nose, or worse. He is avidly anti-gay, anti-perv and anti-non normal. What is normal? If you aren't a beer swilling, chauvinistic, woman chasing, pot bellied, bigoted male, then you aren't normal. You might gather that he and I do not see eye to eye. His requirements for Mother Goose? Two special changes of clothes, which had to be correct in every detail. The first was a powerful 'Dallas-type' outfit complete with matching accessories. The other a 'Marilyn Monroe' dress, reminiscent of that famous scene where her skirts are blown uncontrollably upwards. Now that might be a scene any one of us might aspire to figure in, but this specification was so precise. From the closet I seethed with jealously but it was the silky underwear and matching handbag he demanded that made my hackles rise. All this for a man who would instantly lead a mob to make a TV's quiet walk down the street a misery, and who accused me of being a 'nancy' for my quiet southern accent.

Anyway, having got that off my chest, I hope you see my point, even 'outsiders' have fembitions. Having chatted to others, from our TV world, I find that the fembitions are almost endless. A keen golfer and TV of my acquaintance is desperate to play, en femme, at his local golf course. He would love to play a course from the ladies tees as Angelina. If anyone out there knows where she might be welcome, let me know. In a limited way I have already achieved this fembition. You may have played one of the many golf games that are available for your computer. The more sophisticated ones allow you to choose and name your own players. Driven, I presume, by 'political correctness' some even permit you to select the sex, not to mention skin, hair and clothing colour. Hidden away in my directory of players are Maggie and Rose. Maggie - redheaded, fair skinned, and whose emerald green top suits her colouring. Similarly Rose, attired in lilac complementing her tanned complexion and dark hair. The greatest advantage is that I can nip off for a quick game as Maggie without having to leave the office (and the attendant difficulties it might create). But there's no ladies locker room to retire to for a chat or to repair one's face. From others I've found fembitions to serve in shops, banks and restaurants. I've even come across a fembition to ride to hounds, become a chauffeuse, and play in ladies cricket or tennis matches. That ignores those who want to be brides, geisha girls or tarts. I didn't enquire whether they wanted to take their roles to the logical and ultimate conclusion. Fembitions are not only for TVs, through. Not so long ago, I saw and was involved in a female achieving her fembition. Even though I was alone on stage with her and in front of an audience, this caused me no problems. Sally and I were performing in a revue and our sketch was set in a hospital room. There I was, lying in my hospital bed being visited by my 'wife'. On each previous night she had made her entrance in a fur coat and completed the scene precisely according to the script. But on the last night as she stood to speak, with her back to the audience, her hands lifted to her hips to draw the fur coat open and reveal to me - alone - a white basque, tiny white bikini knickers and stockings tautly gripped by suspenders. The audience had no idea what I could plainly see. Afterwards she confessed that she had fulfilled a life long ambition. She had discussed with her husband and my wife what was to happen beforehand, and she had enough confidence in me to presume I would not give her secret away to the audience. Little did she realise that my stuttering reaction was caused less by surprise then the recognition of a fembition of my own!! The flashing isn't important to me, nor to be recommended, except under those very controlled circumstances. It was the thought, for me, of appearing in public so apparently respectable, and yet beneath being so vulnerable. But if Sally can fulfil her life-long fembition, why shouldn't Maggie? Anyway, you must excuse me, I have to dash. Angelina, wait for me on the first tee, will you? I'm just popping into the locker room to adjust my bra, it's cutting into me.

Nov 201520

Transvestites and Fashion

---cdata-eal-admin--- frequently asked questions, how to guides

TRANSVESTITES AND FASHION

Why do so many transvestites enjoy dressing forty or fifty years behind the times? Why do we choose what style of clothing we wear? Petal Jeffrey goes in search of the answers. Her skirt brushes her calves as she steps onto the dance floor. Quite demure, really. Then, to the pounding rock 'n' roll beat, her partner sets her spinning. As the skirt spins, its hem flies upwards revealing stocking tops and a glimpse of suspender. She could be a 1950s teenager, hair fastened in a pony tail. Her mother probably thinks she's elsewhere. She could, equally, be a transvestite forty years on... In that case, she probably has no pony tail - it's not a hair style well adapted to a tranny wig. Not that the presence or absence of pony tails is the best clue as to whether this is the fifties, or a dance attended by present day transvestites.

Today, the TVs will almost certainly be wearing a greater variety of styles than real girls gathered together at any age. They are likely to be dressed for a variety of occasions: debutante ballgowns rubbing hems with rock 'n' roll skirts. There will be fashions from different eras - the calf-brushing styles of the fifties swirling cool air about the thigh-high minis from the late sixties. Those minis notwithstanding, an email from Rosalind (Leeds) would have surprised few when it began: "Let's have more 50's pictures... I have fond memories of those fabulous starched petticoats we used to wear." Nor are they just memories, as "you only have to go to any transvestites party to see acres of petticoats worn by the men, underskirts that real women haven't been seen in for years and years." What Rosalind sees in Leeds seems much the same as I see in London. There are, however, some who feel uneasy about this living in the past, whether apparent or real. Neither are the fifties the most reassuring decade for transvestites to choose. The most serious unease stems from the position of women in society during the fifties. First, though, a glance at the forties... The very full skirts and masses of petticoat in which many transvestites like to luxuriate in were, in part, a reaction to a period of austerity. During the war, and for some time after, clothing was rationed. Styles had to conform to severe utility standards. Every inch of cloth was precious, and there was little to spare for frills. Nor were just frills in short supply. I have close at hand, for example, the Daily Mirror for January 12th 1946. The war had been over for five months. There is a brief story headlined: "THE SWIM-OUT-OF-IT SWIM SUIT" "The Moonlight Buoy swim suit, which the swimmer can easily shed in the water and which will float by itself, made its appearance in the New York shops yesterday. "It consists of gaberdine pants and brassiere. The brassiere is tied to the pants and both are kept afloat by a cork buckle." Interesting as the Moonlight Boy swimsuit may be, the remarkable and significant part of the story is relegated to the final paragraph. "British manufacturers have no plans for putting out these 'moonlight buoy' swimsuits. In fact, they say, British girls will be lucky if they can get hold of any kind of costume." No doubt, the public had to put up with a great deal because of the war. Probably most were unsurprised when rationing continued a few months after the end of hostilities. But, when the months of peace turned into years, and clothing was still rationed, few can have been content with the situation... So, when the restrictions were dropped a new look with masses of petticoat was surely inevitable. Nor is it surprising that that such a mass of frills appeals to transvestites. Feminine is what we like, and what could be more feminine? With that, however, we approach the area that makes some of us uneasy.

So, when the restrictions were dropped a new look with masses of petticoat was surely inevitable. Nor is it surprising that that such a mass of frills appeals to transvestites. Feminine is what we like, and what could be more feminine? With that, however, we approach the area that makes some of us uneasy. The Second World War brought a tremendous burden of suffering, in which clothing restrictions were the least of peoples troubles. However, in spite of restricting peoples freedom, the war was paradoxically liberating for a lot of women. Pre-war, it was virtually unknown for married women to be in paid employment. Many employers, such as the civil service, simply did not employ married women. When a girl got married, she left - it was as simple as that. A single girl was, in any case, lucky to have a job. In Britain, only one in eight of them were earning even a small wage - of course, it would only be a small wage, as girls weren't given jobs with much prestige, promotion prospects or pay. Whether or not they were actively unhappy with their lot, women didn't have a lot of choice. There was precious little option for a girl but to marry, as seven eighths of them were without even poorly paid work. Once married, she was obliged to adopt the role of housewife. With the wage packet in her husbands hands, all the important decisions were his - or at least, open to his veto. There was little refuge from domestic tyranny, where it was applied, or even from violence. Then came war, and more often than not the man had gone. Millions of men were conscripted into the armed forces, and all over Europe women were taking their place in factories and ship yards; on farms and railways; almost everywhere. They had their own pay packets. Even with wartime shortages and restrictions, women were exercising more choice than most of them had known in peacetime. Other women were putting on uniforms. Female branches of the armed forces sprouted from nothing, and expanded. In Britain, unmarried women under the age of thirty were made liable for military service in December 1941. Their roles were not always nursing, cooking clerical or administrative work. Women served as the crew of anti-aircraft guns and searchlights. It is interesting to note that, even in the most masculine of roles, women clung to the more enjoyable aspects of femininity. Soviet aircrew defied regulations, growing their hair long and dying their white silk under-helmets in pastel shades. They put on light make-up, with pale lipstick, before taking off on combat missions. Like transvestites, they sought to combine femininity with masculine roles. The fashions of the fifties were not only a reaction to wartime and post-war austerity, but part of an endeavour to remove women from their newly found place in the workplace, and relegate them once more to the home. This brings us to what makes some uneasy about transvestites' enthusiasm for fifties fashions. Transvestites, above all people, must acknowledge that the way we dress is no trivial matter. For us, it can wreck marriages, and often does. People do not sacrifice their families and homes for something that is not important to them. Clothing makes a big difference in at least three ways. The first is practical. Clothing can protect us, or expose us to danger. It can constrict us, or give us freedom of movement. A tie, for example can be a dangerous hazard when working with machinery. Typically, in a factory or warehouse, the foreman wears a tie while the workers do not. A corset makes us vulnerable, high heels are ill-suited for running. At least as importantly, clothing makes a great deal of difference to the way other people perceive and treat us. Someone whose business takes them into a factory is likely to accord much more respect to men in ties than to men without them. A woman is likely to receive completely different treatment if she goes out in a mini skirt and see-through top, in a smart business suit and discreet blouse, or in dungarees and Doc Martens. Transvestites who have gone out dressed will know that people react differently to their femme selves than they would do to a male presentation. Indeed, this is one of the more enjoyable aspects of stepping out en femme.

Transvestites are by no means the only ones to have fun manipulating the way others see them. There was, for example, a business woman in the seventies who held conferences sat at her desk in a plain blouse and sober jacket. It was only when the business was concluded that she stood up to reveal suede thigh boots and pink hotpants. No doubt the reactions she got were interesting... Perhaps most importantly of all, the way we're dressed affects the way we feel about ourselves. It may often be difficult to distinguish this from the way in which dress determines how other people see us. After all, if we're treated with respect our confidence increases, and the more confident we are the more respect we're likely to receive. The two things feed into one another. However, if our clothes made no direct difference to how we feel about ourselves, it would make no sense for transvestites to dress in private. Almost all of us pass through a phase of doing this, and many continue - never receiving a second person's reaction to their fmeinine presentation. We all know that we feel very different in lingerie and a skirt from the way we are in masculine things. When transvestites emerge into the public gaze, many people fail to understand why the feminine presentation is primarily for its own sake, rather than to seek a reaction from others. Even looking (and feeling) like a tart, the transvestite does not necessarily welcome male sexual advances. Another example which demonstrates the importance of dress in the way that people see themselves is the the association between uniforms and good order in schools. It is unlikely that it makes much difference in the way that teachers view their pupils. Rather, I strongly suspect that uniforms affect the self-image of the school children. All of this being so, it is not surprising that fifties women's clothing contrasts with that of the forties not only in terms of austerity, but with respect to the role that women were expected to fill. After the war, it was widely expected (especially by men) that women would return to more or less their position of the thirties. Indeed, many of them did just that. Those who managed to remain in work generally found that it was more humble - and worse paid - than their wartime occupation. A capable woman who had served as a WAAF Aquadron Leader might find that she was now considered fit for nothing more demanding than typing. In retrospect, it seems not only monstrously unfair, but a strange waste of national resources during a period of reconstruction. Even on an entirely practical level, a woman was limited in her activites by those full skirts and masses of petticoat. They were certainly not well adapted to minding machines. And the pencil skirt, fashionable in the late fifties, could be almost as restricting as the Edwardian hobble skirt. Little white gloves surfaced as an accessory. One doesn't often see them worn by transvestites in fifties styles - perhaps they represent too much bother with too little reward - but there was a time when women did not consider themselves properly dressed without the gloves. Unlike the sexier long opera gloves, the little white ones were very demure. All gloves restrict what we can do with our hands, and white ones are also apt to show any trace of dirt. More likely to appeal to transvestites is the corsetry which underpinned the New Look of the nineteen fifties. Not since edwardian times had strait lacing for a tiny waist been so much in vogue. On the effects of this I quote from A History of Corsetry elsewhere on this site: "There can be little doubt that imprisoning and often embarrassingly restrictive corsets, when really tightly laced, put the wearer into an extremely vulnerable physical position - a position that demands a submissive and placatory response towards threatening or aggressive behaviour from a male - or in the case of a TV, another male. To attempt to 'stand up' for yourself in such a physically handicapping situation would be little short of foolhardy. Indeed, one cannot help asking oneself to what extent corsets have played a part in ensuring that women have been conditioned to accept a submissive role in society..."

Victorian and Edwardian ladies, no doubt, had been conditioned to accept a submissive role in society. For women in the 1950s, things were rather different. They had, in wartime, assumed a degree of independence which would have astonished most of their grandmothers. Perhaps the corsetry felt good for a while, but it's not surprising that it didn't last. By the end of the decade, strong elastic had replaced the boned corset. The era of the girdle had dawned. By present day standards, a girdle seems restrictive - but it does not entail the extreme vulnerability that many obviously enjoy. The girdle continued its reign well into the 1960s. While I was slipping into my youngest sister's clothes through the first half of that deceade, she must have worn a girdle for most of her waking hours. She had no suspender belts as such, relying on the suspenders at the hems of her girdles to support her stockings (tights lay in the future). This was in spite of her trim and youthful figure. Indeed, it may have been the advent of the mini skirt in the second half of the sixties which expelled girdles from from many girls' undie drawers. Of course, one may as easily wear a girdle below a mini as any other skirt, it wouldn't show beneath the hemline. But as hemlines ascended in 1966 and 1967 stockings became more and more impractical. The girdles often went out with the suspenders which now dangled uselessly from their hems. By that time there were a large number of women - both married and single - back in paid employment. A buoyant economy through the 50s and 60s ensured that employers needed women as well as men. Since women often worked well for less money than their male colleagues, many firms preferred them. The women's liberation movement was not launched until 1969 - the idea of equal pay for equal work was still in the future. There was an idea that the mini skirt was a liberating device - it certainly didn't imprison the legs, and gave girls an opportunity to display their sexuality. There was a lot of talk of erogenous zones. The fashion for coupling mini skirts with kinky boots was said to have pushed the erogenous zones up to the thighs. The late 60s were supposedly the years of the sexual revolution. The pill had given girls more control over their sexuality than ever before. Or so it was said - living as I was amongst drug taking students, the sexual revolution thing seems an exaggeration. It failed to touch a lot of people, even in the group that was supposedly most affected. Gay liberation - launched in 1969 like women's liberation - was slow to develop. Many lesbians and gay men would agree that it still has a long way to go. In the late sixties, few of them were prepared to come out - no doubt there were excellent reasons for their shyness. As for transvestites - whoever heard of trannies' lib?? Sexual advances were not for everyone, and they still aren't come to that. Pundits of the day pointed out that it was possible to run in a mini skirt. Yes, it doesn't physically restrict ones' movements, but it's very difficult to run in one without flashing ones' knickers. While there's certainly pleasure in displaying undies to selected eyes, few girls enjoy doing it in the street. Wearing a mini with decorum is as physically restrictive as the fashions of the early fifties - in some respects, this fashion was the reverse of liberating.

In the second half of the fifties, teenage girls had skirts offering the best of both worlds - decorous or outrageous by turns. This (as we used to say in the pictures) is were we came in. With a rock 'n' roll skirt, a girl's knickers were well under wraps until she spins on the dance floor. If freedom is choice, this was surely a liberating fashion. The 'jive', the fifties knicker-flashing dance, was not new. It had been very popular in the war years, when it was known as the jitterbug. After the sedate dancing of the early fifties, reclaiming this wilder dance must have come as a liberation - it is especially fun for the girl. More transvestites should try it, but remember that it's wasted on too tight a skirt. It is right that we transvestites should have fun with our clothes, it's a small enough compensation for the trouble and heartache which transvestism causes all too many of us. Growing up as a trannie, trying to hold down a transvestite marriage, these are not easy. In my experience, employers are less than delighted when one turns up to work with traces of make-up. This is true even when everyone knows what we are - they don't like to be visibly reminded. Among the transvestites I know, there is a very high rate of broken marriages - including mine. Admittedly, I'm more likely to meet transvestites who are no longer married than those who are... there can be no doubt that it's easier to go out clubbing if there's no wife about :) Two come to mind as having had marriages that have survived, at least as far as the world in general is concerned. In both cases, Mrs Tranni stumbled on clothes carelessly left about. One is now forbidden to dress and is only seen on rare occasions when wifey is away. In the other case, the marriage is so nearly dead that the wife doesn't care, as long as the neighbours don't find out. While, to be fair, a lot of people seem more sympathetic than one might expect, the degree of hostility transvestites can arous is frightening. I've had my head bashed against a wall and then been kicked as I lay unconscious. It was a dreadful thing to do simply because those responsible didn't like the way I was dressed. Worse, perhaps, I strongly suspect the attack to have been premeditated. It can be a bad idea to allow unsympathetic people to predict where and when one is likely to be seen in a skirt.

All things considered, if cross dressing were simply a matter of fun, we'd be fools to do it. The more transvestites I meet, the more I am convinced that our reasons for doing it are complex, and that we are a diverse bunch. However, I hesitated to write "reasons for doing it", as - with all my transvestite friends - it seems significantly more a case of being rather than doing. Of course, we do something - dress in women's clothes - but this stems from the fact of being what we are. There is a degree of choice in the doing, but not in the being - we are what we are. And the choice in doing is no more than a degree because the pressure of being a transvestite can make feminisation an almost physical need. Our degree of choice is often a matter of no more than when, how often, and in which outfits. Clearly, in all of this, self-image is important to transvestites. We may not do it as literally or irrevocably as transsexuals do, but in dressing we assume a female identity, and selecting fifties fashions surely says something important about those female identities. That something has to do with submission, subservience and dependence. This is another aspect of something we may observe when transvestites wear uniforms. They are more likely to reflect submissive, subservient, dependent roles than those of such authority figures as policewomen. The 2 most popular are undoubtedly the schoolgirl and the maid. No points for spotting that neither represents female power! The same story is told by the transvestite interest in corsetry. There is some connection between this and the fifties look, but for many transvestites the attraction is for Victorian or Edwardian styles. Those were eras during which women in general exercised far less independence than their grand-daughters of the 1950s. Many transvestites feel that they are 'on the same side' as women. Some of the reasons why women do not often feel the same way should be clear enough. Few women, perhaps, would go as far as Germaine Greer who descibed transvestism as 'another form of rape' but the strong emphasis on submissive roles is sure to make many women uneasy. Indeed, the same unease extends to transvestites. Paradoxically, closely allied to a transvestite's view of herself as submissive is an attraction to dominant women. The submissive oartner obviously needs a dominat one. Since most transvestites are sexually attracted to women, that partner should ideally be a dominatrix. This considered, there may be an argument that submissive transvestism allows a lot of openings for liberated ladies. Most women would not - and do not - agree. Role playing can be fun, but we should not confuse reality with fantasy. Nor should we equte femininity with submissiveness. In these matters, there is surely a balance to be struck, a middle path to follow. Back in the 70s, when women's liberation was advancing, many of us must have feared that femininity was under threat. Twenty years on, however, one can still see women on the streets with adorably feminine presentations. Pretty skirts, shapely legs in sheer hosiery and high heels are still very much with us...

Coming to Terms With Transvestism

Free Personal Advisory Services

Free Personal Advisory Services

Myths about Transvestism

About Payment and Ordering