“Hi my name is Anna and I have sent you this little true life account. I hope you find it worth adding to your section as I would love some response and maybe advice…”
I am a young 27 year old TV from just outside Witney, Oxfordshire. I have been a TV for as long as I can remember, starting from a very young age. I have had the usual life of relationships failing, struggling to work out who I am and so on, but up until now have always been in the closet, never spoken to anyone I know about it and have basically been living two lives, but coping with it well.
As I said, up until now.
I had a phone call a couple of days ago from an upset ex-girlfriend. She asked me to go over to see her because she had somthing she wanted to ask me. Just so you know, I still really care about her (and her me). We split up not over the TV stuff because she never knew, but we were both just too busy in our lives. However, from my point of view it was very hard to hide it from her.
She confronted me straight away: she had found a receipt in our old chest of draws for various items of clothing. My address, name, femme name and email were all on it as well as my work number etc, pretty incriminating really. She also found some stuff in the loft before we sold the house – this is over 9 months ago.
As I am sure you understand I felt very trapped, what was I supposed to say? She kept saying that I must never have loved her and that I must be all messed up, saying it not in a horrible way but in a sort of hurt and confused, and I suppose caring, way.
She is a lovely person but I just couldn’t think of anything to say. I have always kept this secret and now it’s been forced out. I have been thinking recently about coming out a bit more, but as much as I know she deserved an explanation… well I’m sure I am not the first to experience this sort of situation. I left the house without telling her but also without denying it. I know that she knows, how much I am not sure, but she knows.
I guess that I am looking for advice and maybe some friends. To my knowledge there is no real TV activity around my area and I am feeling a bit alone. I am an outgoing and understanding person and a good listener as well.
I hope to hear from you soon….
Luv Anna XxX
Darla Ann Burke (firstname.lastname@example.org) replies:
My name is Darla and I’m a girl just like you. First, I want you to know that you’re not all alone dear. I’ve often felt that way myself in my area. I live in the Mormon Bible Belt girl. Imagine that!
There’s lots of out here for you dear and most are very supportive. I’m not quite sure what to tell you about your ex-girlfriend. I’m recently divorced and me being T is one of the reasons why, I’m sure. I didn’t realize that at first but when I talk to my ex now it seems to be the only thing she brings up, nothing else.
It’s real tough for me because I have son with her. If it wasn’t for him I’d be finished with her for good. I just don’t think she ever saw me as a person or truly loved me at all. The song, “What It Takes” by Aerosmith would desribe my situation. Sometimes you got to let things go girl. Coming out is hard, especially when it happens like it happened to you.
I’ve got a paper around here somewhere that has a good article in it about coming out. I’ll copy it and send it to you if you’d like to read it. I haven’t come out very easy myself either though dear. One time I trusted somebody I shouldn’t and they blabbed it all over like I’m some kind of freak. Anyway. I’m sure we could go on and on here but I’d hate to keep you tied down with my mail. I’ve got to go for now anyway. Stay in touch with me girl.
A sister who cares
Darla Ann Burke