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Nov 201520

The Realities of Gender Reassignment

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THE REALITIES OF GENDER REASSIGNMENT

For the transexual, the challenges that have to be faced in making the great changes involved in gender-reassignment can be so enormous as to shake one's resolve at every step of the way. But, with careful consideration and adequate forethought, they need not be overwhelming. However, anyone who assumes that the challenge lies in learning to dress properly, wear nice clothes, maintain an attractive hairstyle and to use make-up to good effect is really only scratching the surface. True, these aspects are important and cannot be overlooked if one is to fit into the new role, but they do not transcend all and if pursued without consideration of the vaster and more critical realities of becoming a woman, they may become rather superficial. After all, clothes, make-up and appearance are the prime considerations of the transvestite, but for the transexual the entire issue goes to the very core of ones being. Both the cause and effect are so all-embracing that a very realistic attitude to the deeper issues affecting women needs to be developed by the transexual. Biological women are many things in the eyes of men. They are the giving, yielding sex, traditinally bending and surrendering to the more agressive and powerful male. The very sexual act itself puts them (traditonally) into the underlying and characteristically subservient position. They are the nuturing sex, capable of imparting unique shelter, security and love to their children. The bonding between a mother and her child starts at the very first moment of holding and suckling, and from that time on, the relationship has a special quality that cannot quite be equalled by the father. Despite the unique role of women in the continuance of mankind, they are often cruelly reviled and denigrated. Motherhood is supposedly honured and even deified in all societies, yet women are often treated abominably, are objects of lewd humour and are used as chatels and servants by their lords and masters. Women have had to fight through history for their rights in a male-dominated world. Consider some historical facts: All the great religous leaders have been men - Jesus, Mohammed, Confucious and Buddha for example - as have been every pope, archbishop and, until recently, ordinary clergy in most churches. In politics women leaders have almost exclusively been during the post-war years. The UK, India, Pakistan, Norway, Israel and others have all had female leaders in recent years, but look at what women have had to endure to reach those positions of eminence. The first milestone of modern democracy was probably the signing of the Magna Carta in 1215, but it took another 700 years before women began to be granted the vote in most countries. The emancipation of women has opened up opportunities in many professions and businesses. Women lawyers, doctors, accountants and company directors are today an integral part of the community and not objects of curiosity. However, there is a downside and it is far from pleasant. Pornography, frequently featuring women in all sorts of highly exaggerated, distasteful and downright lewd situations is churned out by a multi-million dollar sector of the publishing and film industries, supported by an army of writers, webmasters, photographers and artists. This industry is forever testing the limits of public tolerance, including child pornography and satanism.

Hostility to women also seems to have taken on a new destructive face in our society and is a matter of concern to sociologists, theologians, the law and the medical profession. Prejudice, supression and even violence are never far away. The same sort of prejudice and ignorance affects the transsexual in many other areas of our society. We know that if we are to enjoy peace of mind we must shake off the disturbing ambivalence which can make a misery of our lives. But equally we have to recognise that there are limits which preclude us from moving into a cosseted and beautiful world of sheltered femininity. None of us has gone through the process of growing up and developing as females from the day of our birth, even though our instincts tell us that that is what should have happened. Transsexuals go through emotional turmoil, enormous pain, inconvenience and expense because they know that they really are women trapped in a mans body, and this is the price of escape and fulfilment. However, I have not met one who has said that she would not go through it all again if necessary. I have not met one who has not felt profound relief in getting rid of the penis and testicles which have been the hallmark of male superiority since the beginning of time. Equally though, I have not met one who has not had to confront society's ignorance and prejudice. These problems should be faced with as much honesty and courage as one can muster. A transsexual must recognise that in addition to the stigma conferred on him by his or her condition, there are other hardship is involved in simply living life as a woman. Some may try to take refuge in self-imposed isolation, thus creating a sort of ghetto for themsleves and associates. This is a state to be avoided if humanly possible. As I see it, these are the fundamental considerations that must be confronted: Am I happy and proud to be a woman? Am I happy to accept the known and established limitations which are inevitable in living as a woman, keeping in mind that living as a woman and womanhood itself are not quite the same thing? As I am now a woman or in the process of becoming one, can I honestly accept the tolerable limitations of womanhood? In accepting these limitations can I also recognise it as my duty to my sisters to fight for and uphold the rights of women in terms of equal compensations for equal work, the same levels of security that men expect and the same freedom from oppression? Am I prepared to accept that role-reversal is not my aim? Am I prepared to accept that there is a poor future for a world in which there is a dominant and an inferior sex? Not everyone will be able to answer these questions affirmatively, but we all owe it to ourselves to confront the realities of becoming a woman with the knowledge that it is loaded with obstacles. But if these questions can be answered objectively and with honesty, the chances of succeeding as a real creative woman, making a distinct and valuable contribution to society, will be much enhanced.

Nov 201520

10 Ways to Come Out of the Closet

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10 WAYS TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET

'Coming out is hard to do...' as Neil Sedaka might have sung. The idea of other people, especially one's nearest and dearest, knowing what we get up to is for some trannies a vision from hell. We imagine horror, betrayal, ridicule, disgust... I know one TV who has spent over thirty years in a stable and loving marriage with grown up children, and all without breathing a word to his wife. 'If I had known in my youth what I know now,' he told me, 'I would probably have saved up for the operation. But in those days it was unheard of, so I followed the conventional route. Now, how could I possibly tell my wife, after keeping it a secret for so long? What would I say? "Oh, by the way darling, I thought I ought to let you know that I've always wanted to be a woman and I spend my weekends away dressed in high heels" ? No, the scene is hardly to be imagined.' But many of us do manage to break the news without too much trauma. Are there any tips to pass on? Here is my personal repertoire of possible routes out of the closet, but first a health warning: some are more successful than others! Tell it straight, tell it early I must have been about 19 when I told my fiancee (now my wife), after we were going steady but before we were engaged. I can't claim to have had the nerve to say it face to face - this was in a letter. Perhaps the best method from some points of view, as I was able to pick my words carefully; she had time to think it through, take soundings from her best friend, look it up in the encyclopaedia, whatever. It wasn't for several years that she actually saw me in a skirt, but knowing about it in advance took some of the shock out of it. And more importantly, it avoided the hurt of an unadmitted secret. On the other hand, perhaps she was so astonished to get any sort of letter at all from me in those student days, she was prepared to overlook what I put in it! 'There's something you need to know...' This was a technique that I used with my two assistants at work - Geoff and Janet. I was in a politically sensitive job, and decided that if the news ever did come out, it was better to have my colleagues prepared and on my side. We were all three radical and broad-minded, of similar ages and good friends, but not emotionally close. Geoff's response was: "Oh, is that it? I thought for a moment you were going to say you were having an affair." Janet's reply was to ask me if I wanted any clothes out of her mail order catalogue, and would I help her buy undies for her gay friend as a Christmas present, as I'd have a better eye for his style than she would. 'Oh, that old thing...' This method is one I keep in reserve for more casual acquaintances, where the topic comes up in conversation and admitting to being a TV is no big deal. It depends on the casual throwaway and goes along the lines of : "'Tootsie'? Oh, yes, I really enjoyed it, but you know that it's nothing but showbiz. I didn't think it portrays at all what being a transvestite is like. The only film that really gets us right is 'Just like a Woman'. What me? Oh yes, been one for years. Anyway, I'm a real fan of Dustin Hoffman, but I do think he was far more convincing in 'Rain Man'...."

'You're not going to believe this...' Not so much a frequent tactic, more a matter of making a virtue out of a necessity. For instance, there we were on holiday, all dressed up and somewhere to go - it was carnival weekend and we were on our way to watch the parade. Suddenly we realised that Carole had returned home early with the key to the cottage where we were staying. The only duplicate was with the landlady. The only way to get it - drive to her house. The only snag - I was in a sweater and skirt. Well, I thought, as I knocked on the door, it is carnival time... "Bonjour Madame" said her husband, not recognising me silhouetted against the sunlight. I wish now that I'd introduced myself as my own twin sister, to see how long it took him to cotton on, but being an honest soul I said "Come off it Henry" in my deepest baritone. Squeals of delight from him and Anna: "Quick, get the camera!" Afterwards, she told me that the giveaway was that I'd dressed too carefully for it to be just a carnival costume. Crisis of passion A tactic that can only work with good friends. There I was with Maria, discussing business organisation. She was about to leave for a meeting with a client, and was as usual dressed in her professional woman's outfit, an extremely snazzy blue skirt suit with a crisp white blouse. Her make up and hair were impeccable. I heaved a deep sigh and said: "I envy you in that suit". She looked blank. "no really, you look just terrific. I'd love to go out dressed the way you are now". Surprised she was, no doubt, but certainly more flattered than offended. Pardon my bloomers This scenario sounds like something straight out of trannie fiction, but it actually happened to me. I had a rush job on, which I couldn't manage on my home computer. Christine, a colleague, offered to let me work on her machine, but it would mean spending several days in her cottage while she was away at the office. So along I went, and along went a change of clothes in my briefcase. The trouble came (haven't you guessed) when she arrived home an hour earlier than expected and found me in a blouse and skirt, scurrying for the bathroom. Red faces and profuse apologies followed... Now this could have been a disaster, but in fact the upshot was the note she left me the following morning: "Please do not feel bad at all, you did not do anything wrong. I'm glad you felt comfortable in my house! In addition it is none of my business and will stay between us (in case you are worried about that). PS if you want something different, why don't you help yourself in my closet upstairs? Shoes are about all over the place". God bless ladies like Christine. My friend Dominique insists I did it on purpose...... It's all an act Carnival time again, and this year there were so many of us that I refused to cook Sunday lunch for 20, and instead ordered a ready-prepared meal from the delicatessen counter at the local supermarket. It was Saturday morning when I went to pick it up, and I was dressed in my discreetest skirt length and smartest heels. The shop assistant, poor fellow, was out of his depth as he helped me steer the two trolley-loads to the checkout. "This gentleman will be bringing the serving dishes back." he explained to the cashier. "Lady!" I corrected him, "When I ordered the meal on Tuesday I was a gentleman, but for the carnival weekend I'm a lady!" "Sorry Sir" he stammered.... ah well, you can't win them all!

Don't look now... In case this list makes it seem that every time I tumble out of the closet I fall on my feet, here's positive proof that you can't win them all. While that same shop assistant had been fetching the goodies from the kitchen, I'd been cruising the shelves for wine and fruit tarts. Five yards away I spot Lynne - a friend, but not somebody I particularly wanted to come out to, at least not in a supermarket on a Saturday morning. Had she seen me? Head she read me? She gave no indication of either, so I played it cool and turned away. It must have been six months later that Lynne, after falling out with me over an entirely different matter, spilled the beans - not to me but to my in-laws! Fortunately, they were already in the know, but the blood runs cold to think of what might have been had they not already known. Alternatively, the blood runs hot to think of Lynne's cheek! Have you read the latest? A major life-change is perhaps a good moment to make a clean breast of things. A case in point was when my in-laws decided to move in next door. There were several reasons why we decided that they ought to be told - after a year or two of openness, I didn't fancy returning to the days when I had to creep around in hiding. And then there was the risk of them finding out from a gossipy neighbour - perhaps I had had a kind of premonition about the 'Lynne incident'. How to break the news? I tackled Stella first. "You know, when you're away in the summer, we'll be letting out the cottage. Well - you should be aware, some of the people who rent it are a bit out of the ordinary. That is to say... it's not so much them as me.. erm.... Look, there's an article in this magazine that explains it". Then I handed over the article about myself, complete with photo. Up went her eyebrows, but she's a game type and took it in her stride. No woman who goes ballooning for her 60th birthday is going to be fazed by a minor detail like seeing her son-in-law in tights. Chicken Out! Nevertheless, I couldn't face up to telling my father-in-law, so I asked Stella if she'd do it for me. She must have told him straight away, there was a slight coolness in his manner when he came round for a drink that evening. After all, this was a guy who's been known to mutter darkly about 'bloody poofters', but as a Freemason he knows a thing or two about wearing funny clothes! He's never actually seen me dressed, but the two of them did buy me a broach the following Christmas. In conclusion So my score so far is about 8 and a half out of 10 - not a bad rating. So what lessons have I learnt? Firstly, most people (even if they discover the truth by accident) do not conform to the 'Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells' stereotype. People's responses have ranged from indifference to mild amusement to open-hearted acceptance, but very rarely hostility. The one person who has teased me about it did so so gently that I didn't even notice - until my wife explained later what he'd meant by asking me if I went to Roedean. Secondly, for the most part the people I have come out to have fallen into two categories: those whom I trusted in the first place, or else those whose opinion is fairly irrelevant (such as the man on the delicatessen counter). There's no point in making yourself a hostage to fortune by giving yourself away to anyone you know you can't really trust. Next, almost all the people I've come out to have been women. This is probably not an accident, for several reasons. I feel more at home in women's company than in men's, and I find them less threatening. It may possibly be that they find me less threatening too - perhaps many men who are confronted by an emerging TV will think that he's making a homosexual advance at them, whereas women are less anxious if they imagine I'm gay? Either way, I've found women more positive, men more indifferent. And remember, once you've come out, this doesn't solve all problems. It certainly doesn't provide an excuse for flaunting at every given moment. Confide and be yourself by all means, but never impose.

Nov 201520

Why We Envy Women

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WHY WE ENVY WOMEN

Views expressed in this article are not necessarily those of Transformation. In our present society there is no room for an intersexed person. Society demands that we be either male or female. This is dictated from the moment of birth when the doctor announces "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!". From this moment on, the infant's fate is sealed and his/her training starts in earnest. The decision is made as to which colour the baby will wear - pink or blue. We call this the pink blanket / blue blanket syndrome. While we agree that SEX is determined by what is between the legs (the method employed by the medical profession), we can't agree that this should automatically determine the infant's GENDER for the rest of its life. The very existence of homosexuals, transsexuals, transvestites and transgenderists proves that nature is far more complicated than that. "Sex" is determined by the visible anatomical organs that a person is born with, and it is impossible to change this sex, in spite of what some doctors might claim. The so-called "sex change" simply leaves a castrated and mutilated male. The man has been provided with an orifice that looks remarkably like a vagina, but of course, it isn't. It is simply a tube closed at its inner end and serves no purpose except to provide an orifice to receive a male penis during intercourse. The breasts of such a man / woman are often made of silicone and are incapable of serving their natural purpose - feeding a baby. It is also impossible for the sex-changed male to conceive a baby, since none of the necessary internal organs, such as ovaries and womb, are present. We believe that many men who have the sex change operation really desire a 'gender change', which can be done without surgery, and for whom surgery may in fact be the worst solution. Gender is invisible. It is in the very soul of each human being. It is the learned behaviour pattern of each individual, described by society as masculine or feminine. Usually there is no conflict between "sex" and "gender". Sex is what you are born with, and gender is the behaviour pattern you are taught. A man's sperm contains two factors. They are called the X and Y sperm cells. A woman's egg contains only female X cells. At the moment of conception, when the man's sperm enters the women's egg in the womb, the sex of the child is determined. It takes X + X to produce a female, and X + Y to produce a male. The foetus contains ALL the necessary information to develop into a boy or a girl. The foetus is asexual until about the 4th month of pregnancy. At this stage, if the child is to be a boy, and this is determined by the presence of the Y factor, the glands which will become the testicles will move towards their natural position. The penis will continue to develop and the gland which would have developed into a womb becomes the male's prostate gland. All this is brought about by hormones secreted at vital stages as a result of the Y factor from the father's sperm. If the child is to become a girl, the same glands which bacame the boy's testicles will remain inside the body and become the ovaries. The womb will continue to develop and the development of the penis is halted, becoming the clitoris. Two facts become clear. First, the sex of the child is determined by the father. Second, there are far fewer differences between men and women than our social order is willing to admit. In fact, men and women are basically the same, except for the reproductive organs and the associated hormones that go with them. But, from the moment of birth, training starts to make the infant behave in a masculine or feminine manner, determined solely on which set of sexual organs happens to be between the legs at birth. The soul of this infant isn't considered at all and it is a matter of "You will do as you're told and not what your nature dictates".

Boys will be given toys such as guns, tanks, cars and construction kits, all things which will make him aggressive, competitive and, dare we say it, destructive. It doesn't take a genius to see that children's television shows are also designed to reinforce this attitude among boys. Boys must be tough, and their training is designed to remove any softness or vulnerability, which is regarded as 'sissy'. Girls, on the other hand, are given sewing kits, tea sets, doll's houses and miniature household appliances. Everything designed to ensure that the little girl will grow up into a loving, gentle and caring woman. She is trained to be a mother and housewife, whether she likes it or not. Pity the poor boy who prefers playing with dolls rather than guns! It doesn't matter if being gentle and loving is part of his nature. If he wants to take an interest in his mother's cooking or any other 'feminine pursuits' he will be severely dealt with. Such 'sissy' ideas must be removed from his mind at all costs! 'Tom Boy' behaviour among little girls doesn't seem to draw such drastic corrective measures. In fact, daddy rather likes his tom-boy daughter. But this same daddy will not tolerate any sissy behaviour from his son - in fact, he will be utterly disgusted. We believe the term 'sissy' should enjoy the same status as 'Tom Boy'. This would be a start in correcting our hopelessly confused social training process, the classic situation in which the only acceptable interests for men seem to be sport, drink and cars - women, on the other hand, are expected to be interested only in babies, cake recipes and gossip. This situation is graphically illustrated at parties. Man and wife arrive together but immediately seperate to join male or female groups. And why should hubby and wife stay together? They don't even speak the same language! Men feel that women will only spoil their fun and women feel that men will stifle their conversation. Men stand on one side with their beers, talking about who will win the football, while the women gossip and watch anxiously how many drinks their husbands are having. Women readers will say: "But men don't have to be that way!". You are right. But unless a man wishes to be a social outcast, he will behave like that. Our social order demands it. I suspect that many men would prefer to join in the female gossip, talking about fashion or hair styles, but wouldn't dare.The fear of being called a sissy is too great! Women have long been fighting for their rights - these include whether to have children or not, equal pay and the right to dress as they please. This has resulted in women moving into what were previously exclusively masculine domains, competing with men for the top jobs and salaries that go with them. The truth is that women are winning the 'battle of the sexes'. Many job categories have been taken over by women. Take, for example, public relations. Who wants to deal with a balding or grey-headed man in a suit when they can have an attractive woman, stylishly dressed with beautiful hair to represent them? Other fields where the same thing is happening are advertising and estate agents. In every job where appearance is important you'll find a woman. Women make the best sales persons. Even the motor trade will realise this soon.

Women take the trouble to groom themselves, to look young, beautiful, vibrant and alive. Men, on the other hand, cannot use make-up to improve their appearance. They don't use creams on their faces to keep the aging process at bay. Their fashions are often, to say the least, dull. Men have to be satisfied with what they were born with. Women are now moving strongly into engineering, electronics, architecture and the medical profession. It is now a fact that women make better drivers, pilots and doctors. All this is proving to be a tremendous threat to men. The advertising profession is breaking down the male ego by depicting him as a useless, idiotic buffoon. In television advertising you find it is the man who makes a mess of things and the woman who comes to the rescue. A lot of television programs follow the same theme. Imagine a little boy seeing all these television programmes. He will model himself on the parent he most admires. Even if his father is a strong personality, that may not be enough to convince him that maleness is the preferred role. If the father is weak the boy has no choice but to model himself on his mother and those beautiful, successful females he sees on television. Here you have the beginnings of gender confusion. The boy either accepts his indoctrination and the social order as it is or he fights it. If he fights it, he either becomes homosexual (because he fears female domination) or he joins the ranks of women. This usually means he becomes a fetishist, a transvestite, a transgenderist or a transsexual. In any of these cases the man will find himself loving and envying women their relaxed and indeed, lately, elevated social status. Today our entire social order is geared towards the likes and dislikes of women. It has become a matter of social survival for men. At this point it might be useful to give a breakdown of the various related cross dressing activities to show where transgenderism fits in. Fetishism Fetishists are attracted, mostly, to feminine underwear, high-heeled shoes and stockings. Sometimes they steal women's underwear from washing lines and shops. For them, the wearing of feminine clothing is solely a stimulant for sexual gratification. This sexual release could be by masturbation or with an understanding female partner. Both partners will behave in a typically heterosexual manner with intercourse taking place in the usual fashions. The fetishist, by his very behaviour, accumulates a lot of guilty feelings, which normally cause stress releated problems later in life. From the fetish stage it is a very short step for a male to want to dress in a completely feminine costume. At first, it is usuzlly out of curiosity "just to see what I look like". Then he discovers he likes what he sees in the mirror. The next stage occurs when the man enjoys what he is doing so much that he starts toying with the idea of going out in public dressed as a woman. Now the transvestite will start to look at his appearance critically for the first time. He will note where he needs to improve in order to pass as a woman in public, probably buy a wig, learn the art of applying make-up through fashion amgazines (or his wife or girlfirend if she is willing to play along) and will learn which styles of dresses, skirts, blouses and shoes will best suit his figure. If successful in perfecting an acceptable feminine appearance he will venture out i public in a very limited way. At this stage the sexual element in the man's dressing decreases and he becomes more conscious of the feminine side of his nature. However, he is still very much a male and will pursure his normal manly interests such as sport and drinking sessions with his friends. In fact, he often overcompensates and becomes aggressively macho. Only at infrequent times will his feminine element come to the fore and demand his attention.

The next stage creeps up on the transvestite in a very subtle fashion. He finds himself envying the world of women, the wide selection of clothing and accessories available to them and their freedom in not having to wear a wig or 'falsies'. The real changes start when he develops a strong desire for a more feminine figure to "hang his clothes on", in particular to posess his own breasts. By then he has usually resorted to shaving his legs and arms, and may even have begun to get his beard removed by electrolysis or plucking. In his search for help he is vulnerable to traditional medical dogma which, through ignorance, tries to convinve him to either quit or else have a sex change. Neither are what he really needs or wants. He now becomes very dissatisfied with the masculine gender role. He will embark on a course of feminising himself as far a possible, including the taking of female hormones if he can find himself a willing and understanding doctor. He has not turned his back on his male side, he has merely changed priorites, wanting to live as a woman while remaining a male. He / she will be living as a woman at every possible opportunity, resenting the occasions when he / she has to dress as a man. Sexual attraction and release, however, remain heterosexual. There are no signs of homosexuality, although some transgenderists may call themselves male lesbians. It is possible that he / she will undergo the first stages of a sex change - breast implants, removal of the testicles, but these acts are gender motivated in order to feminise the body as mouch as possible, and not sexually motivated. This is usually the point at which the true transgenderist comes to terms with what it is possible to accomplish. He / she is usually living as a woman full time by now and has had to sacrifice a certain portion of 'his' sex life. Any further operations can only be sexually motivated. Transsexual This group can usually be differentiated from the preceding cases by a strong desire for an active sex life in which they wish to be the recipient of the male organ and need the necessary equipment. The transsexual will deny any allegation of homosexuality as he regards himself as a female trapped in the wrong body. This is the fundamental difference between a transgenderist and a transsexual. The transgenderist desires a gender change, but his sexual interests remain the same as any normal male's; the transsexual wants sexual relations with men. Only a small percentage of men who have the sex change operation are truly satisfied. They will never be able to bear children and will always wonder if there are traces of their previous manhood left. And there usually are.

Female Transgenderists Women have the freedom to dress as they like, cut their hair short or long, and to wear make-up or not. Women's liberation has bought them their freedom. Men, on the other hand, are expected to be coarse and loud and act as if they are devoid of love, tenderness and compassion. They are forever on their guard against anything that could put their manhood in doubt. The transgenderist has, through his earlier femme experiences, discovered freedom while playing in the feminine gender role and will move mountains to keep it. He knows only too well that such freedom will not come to all men in his lifetime. We need a thorough study into the needs of the transgenderist. These include: Hormone Therapy- As any good doctor knows, this should not be done without the strictest supervision. But since there are so many doctors with 'moral' objections, many TGs buy hormone tablets in the black market. Beard Removal- Unfortunately most TGs can't afford it. Most countries refuse to do the operation until beard removal is complete. Breast Implants- Most transgenderists suffer extreme breast envy. It makes a feminine appearance much more convincing as hormone-induced breasts are not always sufficient. Removal of the Testes- This often becomes necessary to stop the internal war between the natural male hormones and artificial female hormones. Removal of the testes allows the female hormones to do their work more efficiently and improves the feminine appearance dramatically. Job Opportunities- Vital if the transgenderist is to survive financially. Most transgenderists are still qualified to do the jobs they did as males. But, owing to ignorance, he will probably be fired by his employer. Government workers are often forced to resign from their jobs. The Americans have found, much to their surprise, that since they started helping men achiev 'she-male' status, the demand for complete sex change operations has dropped by 30%. Similar experiences have been found by some South African plastic surgeons. This is proof that there are more transgenderists than transexuals. All that transgenderists are asking for is: Freedom to live with our wives and families in peace The privilege of having a job and earning a living The right to be human andf have the same feelings and sentiments as other people. We too can be hurt Acknowledgement of our existence and a place in society so that we too can have happiness and peace Conclusions The transgenderist faces unique problems which should not be likened to those of the TS. There appears to be plenty of help and understanding for transsexuals but absolutely nothing for the transgenderist. In fact, many in the medical community do not even acknowledge their existence. It seems to us that so long as the medical people insist on naming 'sex' as the motive for transgenderism, they will not begin to understand the condition. They must first understand that the condition is socially motivated. Views expressed in this article are not necessarily those of Transformation.

Nov 201520

Will They Still Love Me After I Tell Them?

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WILL THEY STILL LOVE ME AFTER I TELL THEM? Why Should I Tell?

Guilt. If you have not achieved self-acceptance you may carry a great burden of guilt for a variety of reasons. You may feel badly about keeping a secret from your partner or family. It's lying by omission. So, you may decide to tell to alleviate feelings of guilt. Self-Image. At the personal level, you may have very a poor self-image, low self-esteem. These feelings may come from "messages" sent by a partner or family members that you (as a TV) are "bad" or "unworthy" of love. So, you may decide to tell to help your self-esteem. Isolation. At one time or another, you probably thought you were the only person in the world who crossdressed. You may still have immense feelings of loneliness and desperation. So, you may tell because you want to end the isolation. Freedom. Let's say you've found a local support group, but since your family doesn't know about your activities, you are not free to explore your gender issues. So, you may want to tell so you can have more freedom to explore and express yourself. Or, believe it or not, many times a CD will come to the end of a business career and find he's faced with the prospect of being home with his partner all the time. No more business trips! No more freedom. So, you may decide to tell in order to retain your freedom to dress. Accidental Discovery. Perhaps your family has accidentally discovered your crossdressing and they're making all sort of wild assumptions. So, you may have to tell in order to do some damage control, correct misinformation, and calm many fears.

When & How You Should Tell When - As soon as possible. Research shows that the longer you wait, the more negative the reaction. Ideally, tell before you get married, after that there is no "best" time. When you tell, your goal should be understanding of your need to express this part of you, not force acceptance. The setting should be intimate & private. You are going to deliver information, so have it ready. Don't flood them with too much information. Stop and wait for questions. Be prepared to stop completely if the reaction is shock. How - Use positive terms. Don't say you have a "problem." Rather say, "I have something to share with you." Tell dressed in your regular clothes. Don't show up crossdressed. If they want to see what you look like, have a photo handy. I don't know the TV that doesn't have a photo of themselves dressed. Have quality info available. Don't use a TV magazine with personals, not even Tapestry or older issues of LadyLike with Personals. The presence of Personal Ads is a definite negative. Use Chrysalis, Cross-Talk, Coping With Crossdressing, or My Husband Wears My Clothes. Suggest seeing a qualified counselor for impartial answers to difficult questions. Don't try to be an expert. Suggest talking to a partner or family member of another CD, if you have access to a support group. Discuss limits: where and when crossdressing is acceptable both privately and publicly; the role of crossdressing in the bedroom; and whether to tell others, including children, other family members and friends. Discuss the extent your partner is willing to participate in your crossdressing activities.

Some Things You Need to Understand I've often heard it said that crossdressing doesn't hurt anyone. That's true only if you are single and have no family. Otherwise, because we co-exist with other family members, our behavior does have an effect on them, both perceived and real. You need to understand some of the family issues involved. Guilt by Association. There are social repercussions to consider. How many families want to be associated with a person society considers mentally ill and a pervert? Friendships can be lost. Children can be teased unmercifully. The family becomes outcast. This can lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness and anger at the crossdresser. We like to think that our society is more enlightened than that today, but, sadly, it's just not true. Loss of Income. Many families fear economic reprisals if the crossdressing is discovered. This is not an unreasonable fear. In many job situations, the discovery of crossdressing behavior may be cause, however unjustified, for dismissal. Sexual Orientation. Families that discover a crossdresser among them often question the person's sexual orientation. A lot of ignorance surrounds homosexuality still and questions of promiscuity are likely to come up and that brings up STDs. Some families will wonder if the crossdresser is really a transsexual who will want genital reconstruction. Loss of Intimacy. Crossdressing can be a narcissistic, selfish behavior. Often a CD will become so engrossed in crossdressing that he begins to neglect the public and private social aspects of the family. Extraordinary amounts of time, energy, and, frequently, money are spent developing an alter-ego. Self-Esteem Partners can react to crossdressing from a sense of lowered self-esteem. They immediately ask, "What have I done wrong? What is wrong with me?" They immediately blame themselves for the behavior. It doesn't matter that the transvestism was set in motion years before they met, they "know" it's their fault. Partners who react this way usually feel negatively about themselves to begin with and they transfer the "guilt" of the behavior to themselves. Competition. A partner or family member also may feel they have to "compete" with the crossdresser. They may be threatened if the CD looks convincingly like the opposite sex. Consider the damage done to a partner's ego if his/her spouse looks more like the opposite sex than he/she does.

What Reactions Can You Expect? I don't know of any marriage that ended because crossdressing was the single issue. Usually there are many problems in a relationship and the crossdressing just pushes it over the edge. If you have a good, loving, respectful relationship with your partner and family, they will try to understand you and your needs. Acceptance: Sometimes family will express complete and total acceptance of crossdressing behavior. This may be due to a knowledge gained from a past personal experience, or because of a sincere belief that all people should be entitled to express themselves in any non-destructive manner. A family of this type may realize that many of the good qualities about the crossdresser are due to their transgendered nature. Some may families react mildly to the need to crossdress, recognizing that the behavior is unusual but generally harmless, if managed properly. Initial acceptance or at least a willingness to learn and understand is often misinterpreted by the transvestite as total acceptance. At the opposite end of the response scale, the family unequivocally cannot accept the crossdressing behavior. Telling lies and keeping secrets from family and friends is too high a price to ask from some people. In response to this burden, a family may try to coerce the crossdresser to give it up with a threat of separation or even public exposure. Despite their best intentions, transvestites cannot "Just Say No" to crossdressing. A complete rejection can and will eventually dissolve the relationship, unless both parties work toward a compromise.

Nov 201520

The Male Reaction - Reactions

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Reactions

Cartoon: two female figures in a bar, and one says to the other "You're a transvestite aren't you? I like that in a man." The funny thing is, it happens all the time, only it's usually another man who who says that to us. Yes I know the standard formula: "Just because I like wearing frocks, it doesn't mean I'm gay. Under this sequined boob-tube beats a heart as heterosexual as John Wayne's. The proof is, I love women so much that I want to be like them...." And I have no doubt that the Woman magazine's national survey on men's sexuality was right when, a few years ago, it found that the proportion of gay men among TVs was not greatly different than among the nation at large. Only... There is a niggling feeling in the back of my mind that this is not the end of the story. Picture the scenario: There you are on a Saturday night at the bar of your favourite club. You have chosen that red silk blouse and the black velvet skirt that just skims your knees. Nail varnish, 'Bet Lynch' earrings, red heels. The leg shaving alone took you forty minutes to perfect. Be honest now, this is not a get-up in which you expect to be discussing the chances of Arsenal for the cup and league double. You are not about to seriously chat up that smart piece of stuff in the corner. No, you are there with the intension of passing as an even smarter piece of stuff yourself, and getting chatted up in your turn. I remember the first time it happened to me. A lad who looked about fifteen asked me: "Haven't I seen you here before?" and like a twerp I reacted to this as a serious request for information, It only dawned on me later that this was the classic chat-up, the social equivalent of pawn to king four. Nowadays I know what to expect. Delicate And what to expect is not to receive advances from a gay man. This is to say, not a delicate creature with limp wrists and a job in interior design, nor a Burt Lancaster look-alike with white tee-shirt, white jeans and a droopy moustache. The first one hasn't existed since Julian and Sandy on 'Round the Horne', and the second will be too busy searching for another Burt Lancaster look-alike to give you a second glance. Hadn't you realised that gay men aren't actually interested in anyone in skirts? It is quite possible to sit for hours in a gay bar and not be spoken to by anyone other than the barman, and then only to overcharge you for the drink. No, this is where the social interaction between TVs and the real world gets very interesting. There are two common reactions in my experience, one from women and the other from not-really gay men. From women, it is very common to be earnestly and sympathetically interviewed on what you're doing, what makes you tick, whether you do it 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and (as the evening wears on and the conversation becomes more intimate) how you manage to hide it, you know, 'it'. The reactions will be fascinated, encouraging, but always never sexual. There may be some swapping of hints on make-up, and even swapping of wigs and boobs- well, not swapping exactly (dream on!) but touching and trying. But all this will remain at the technical level. At the end of the evening she will go off with the fella she arrived with, who has been spending this time getting in his ration of lager and smiling self-confidently to himself. This is not to say that conversations of this kind are a waste of time. On the contrary they can lead to beautiful friendships, and every tranny can use all the friends she can get. I know a lesbian couple who are great fun for an evening out the town, and wouldn't we all like a big sister to show us the ropes, go shopping with us and let us know when our slips are showing? But to expect it get much further than that is wishful thinking. This leaves us with the other group of acquaintances we might expect to strike up - the fellas.

Handsome Let's consider first the romantic scenario of the handsome young concert pianist on his evening off, who mistakes you for a front-page model and whisks you off to the Maldives on his private jet. It may happen, and even as I write a winged porcine has just gone soaring past the window.... The reality, in my experience is rather different. There was Mike, a burly Irish textile salesman in an attrocious emerald green cardigan. Married, he told me, and as befits a good Catholic, father of five. "Er, let me get this right, now. You are a man, yes? And you're dressed as a woman?" Nothing if not perceptive, our Mike. "This is very interesting, what you're doing. D'you see, this sort of thing doesn't exist in Ireland." (He clearly didn't know about the Dublin-based Friends of Eon) "How do you mean?" I asked. "Well, er, ho....er, ho...sexuality." There, the word was out, and I could spot the way the conversation would soon be turning. Did I know I was a very attractive woman? How would I like to go back with him to his hotel room...? Henri, at the fancy dress ball in France, was far more debonair with his goatee beard and corsair looks - no, not an eye patch, but the kind of creased face that comes from living fifty years on a windy coast. He spotted me across the dancefloor while I was still sipping my first glass of dutch courage, grinned and pointed at me knowingly. Within seconds he was whisking me away in a tango, oblivious of the fact that I couldn't dance a step of it. Several dances and several glasses full of courage later, he sat down beside me and began: "Mais, est-ce que vous etes vraiment une femme?" - but are you really a woman? "What do you think," I asked him in my deepest baritone. The third one was Dave, and here I began to suspect a pattern designed by fate. Dave was a lorry driver from Wolverhampton who must have thought it was his birthday when this blonde in the pub gave a cheeky smile and said that yes, the seat next to him was free. A few sentences into the conversation, and his delighted grin began to waver. "Er, excuse me for asking this, but you are a woman aren't you?" "This evening I am, yes." "Ah, good." And then the double-take. Really, Dave was well out of his depth. My voice was rather deep? Because of my cold, I explained. "But you have very feminine hands," he assured me. Or was he trying to reassure himself? At any rate, alongside Dave's great shovels, even Mike Tyson might have been said to have feminine hands. So, what was the pattern that I saw emerging? That I seem to attract rugged middle-aged men? Ah, well, mustn't grumble: I'm no longer in my first flush of youth myself. No, it's not that. It's firstly that all these three, so far as I could judge from what they told me, were full-blooded heterosexuals and yet they went for me. Am I so utterly convincing? No way. Because all three of them, at a certain point in the conversation asked the crucial question: am I or aren't I a woman? Now this is not a question that real girls get asked. No man seriously in search of a partner for the evening asks the lady he's dancing with if she is really a woman (he might ask if she's really a lady, but that's another issue....). It seems a calculated way to get a slap across the face and a stiletto in your instep. No, the very fact that they dared put the question meant that deep down they already know the answer. And yet, when given an honest reply and modest proof, they all three pursued the bedroom sales patter. It seems to me that there are two things happening here. One is the astonishing way in which the human mind is influenced by sensory input from the eyes in far greater proportion than from the logic centres of the brain. "He'd try to get off with a lamp-post if you put a skirt on it", the old saying goes, and it seems to be entirely true that, with a modicum of snazzy dressing and careful make-up, even the least feminine of us can create a visual impression that overwhelms some men's sense of reason.

Artificial If this is what you're looking for, I can recommend the combined effect of strongly contrasting colours (especially red and black), lots of serious hair (blonde but not peroxide) and red high heels. All of this amounts to what is known to anthropologists as a Supernormal Stimulus. "A supernormal stimulus is one that exceeds its natural counterpart," writes Desmond Morris in Manwatching. He explains how man 'can improve on his own physical features in many ways' and can similarly 'supernormalise' the world around him by artificial means. "If he wishes to improve his height, he can wear high-heeled shoes: if he wishes to improve the smoothness of his skin, he can wear cosmetics..... There is no end to the many ways in which he has amplified his body-signals as a means of improving his sexual displays...." True, when Morris writes of 'man' he means humankind and not males, but the relevance to transvestism is striking. All this might explain why Mike, Henri and Dave were fooled for a moment or two by the sight of a fancy hairdo or an off-the-shoulder dress. But I have known other men for example who have invited me to dance, and then left me standing on the dancefloor a moment or two later once they discovered their mistake, with a shake of the head and a muttered "No, I can't take this". What made our three examples persevere? Were they totally sex-starved? This seems unlikely, since in two of the three cases there were plenty of Real Girls in the immediate vicinity, and even Mike could have chosen a different club to stroll into on a Wednesday night in Manchester. No, it seems evident to me that on occasions we TVs act as a safety valve for men who are tempted by the idea of homosexuality but without being turned on by the physical appearance of other men. What drives these what one might call 'crypto-gays'? Not, I think, any kind of intellectual leaning towards homosexuality, as it is sometimes claimed by the critics of open-speaking on gay issues. These critics argue that the media hype about homosexuality will persuade otherwise straight men (or children, as this phobia is often directed against gay teachers) off the straight and narrow. I gained no impression that any of the three men I described had made up their minds that they ought to try gender-bending and had hunted me down as their excuse. No, their inclination, so far as I could tell, was a genuinely emotional and physical one. Perhaps more than their more conventional colleagues and more than many writers on the subject, they had realised that the strict categorisation of male/female, gay/straight, simply does not match reality. We all know the kind of psychological author who attempts to divide humanity into clearly defined types (yes, all 6,000 million of us). The truth is that these boundaries are mental constructs - they do not exist in the real world, but have been made up by humans. Forbidden The reason may be religious. The ancient Jews had a mania for categorising and then keeping the categories seperate that went far beyond the well-known meat/milk duality. It was for instance forbidden to mix linen and wool in the same garment, a law that appears only a few lines below the well-known verse forbidding a man to put on a woman's dress or vice versa. (Deuteronomy 22). It's curious, don't you think, that those who argue against transvestism on religious grounds don't get equally het up about polyster-cotton sheets...? Or else the reasons may stem from a human need for security, to have things cut and dried, to know where one stands. Maturity, it is said, is the ability to live with ambiguity: by that standard there are a good many immature people around. Whatever the cause, Mike, Henri and Dave seem to have overcome the straitjacket of conventional categories and surprised themselves in the process. "I don't usually do this sort of thing you know...." I suppose we trannies must be good for something!

Nov 201520

What kind of breast forms are available?

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The predominant material used in the more expensive commercial breast forms is silicone gel inside a very thin, slick plastic shell with tapered edges. Other materials such as rubber/latex, foam, or cotton batting are sometimes used. Here are the main qualities of each of the types of materials used to help in deciding if a certain material is right for you. Silicone Breast Forms The material gives the form a comparable weight, movement and feel of a natural breast. The silicone can be coloured; many forms of this type are available in a variety of shades to match skin tone. Realistic nipples and areolas can also be produced. The material of this type of form warms to your body temperature and feels very comfortable. Silicone can be whipped with air to produce forms just as realistic, yet are much lighter to wear. It is NOT the same material that was used in breast implants. It is similar, but the main problem with silicone implants came from their use INSIDE the body. Even if a breast form is punctured, the contents can not be absorbed through the skin. Rubber/Latex Cheaper alternative to silicone, while still retaining some of the qualities of silicone that make it so desirable. While still having some of the qualities of silicone to a certain degree, rubber/latex can not dare to match the weight, feel or movement of even the cheapest silicone forms. Some people are allergic to rubber or latex. Foam Commercial foam forms are very cheap and can even be easily homemade. Can't be punctured or ruptured like silicone forms. Holds shape well, even in restrictive wear like sports bras. Whatever type of breast you are looking for Transformation has the ideal pair for you. Go to our instant transformation section to see everything we have on offer.

Nov 201520

Self Assessment

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Let's face it. It can be very comfortable in the closet and very painful coming out or even trying to get out. Here we are surrounding by our fantasies and protected from the sneers and laughter of the outside world by our protective shell of fearful furtiveness. The protective shell is strange. It keeps us firmly in the closet, but it also protects us from our worst nightmares by threatening us with discovery. There we are in the closet enjoying our secret femininity, but we share our closet with a whole variety of others. All of us comfortably uncomfortable in our pink silk knickered, macho jock strapped or rubber lined worlds and all petrified of being revealed as we see ourselves. Understanding Those of you who have dared to show your true colours to the world will laugh at our fears, hopefully with understanding but perhaps (and this is the crux of our fear) there may be some regretting their boldness. There may be those who have personal acquaintance with someone who has come out. Just recently I have become aware of, if not a friend let's call him a business acquaintance, who has gradually shown his true colours in a very public way. Let's call him Hector. I have no way of knowing his objectives nor his feelings, but his fetish for uniforms and just lately frilly underwear have been very publicly displayed. Hector is the cartoon character used by the Inland revenue to publicise the new taxation system, known as Self Assessment. This is the dramatic change in the relationship taxpayers will have with the tax man and seems to be a tremendous strain on Hector as the great day approaches. Strain has caused so many over the years to let their screts slip. You only have to read the tabloid press nearly any day to see accounts of the fall of the great and noble. But there hasn't been a mention of Hector's apparent dash from the closet. Guises In the leaflets issued by the Inland Revenue, Hector has appeared in a variety of guises. One shows him on a building site, stripped to the waist and wielding a towel but still complete with bowler hat, umbrella and moustache. In the same leaflet there is a hint of things to come perhaps, with him anxiously peering out of a shop resplendent in apron. It is, as some of you will appreciate, only a short step from apron to frilly pinafore! I began to wonder when in the General Guide there he was with knots in his umbrella and handkerchief. Not a very convincing indication of bondage, I know but just a few pages further on there he is dangling his keys. Surely it can't be true?

Further on in the same booklet there was the first indication of stress. First, a picture of him threatening a car driver with his brolly, and on the final page on a desert Island, now sporting sunglasses, obviously desperate to get away from it all. But the cartoons that really set me wondering were those in which, suddenly and without even a warning, frilly knickers appeared. There he is displaying his underwear, and despite his masculine moustache, bowler and brolly it is exceedingly feminine. The next one I saw had him really daring in a tutu! This was it, the Inland Revenue were going tranny! I began to visualise the new feminine Inland Revenue and forlornly hoped we might be allowed tax deductions in the future for our secretly acquired attire. But we all know they want proof for everything. Would this mean, in the future we might have to strut our femininity at the tax office? Would the forbidding corridors of a tax office ring to the click of heels and the squeals of "girls" as they attended their annual proof of what they had bought? Pure fantasy, I know, but why has Hector (or is it Hatty, or Hectorina or Hetty?) suddenly come out of the closet? Has he been assessing his appearance of rolled umbrella, moustache and pin-striped suit and decided he prefers a softer, more feminine image? Closet Who else will come out? Are we likely to see any politicians, clergy or perhaps footballers come out of the closet? We've already seen it in the entainment world with Eddy Izzard et al, and the clergy are unlikely, they dress up all the time, particularly the most senior ones. A prime minister in drag? Or perhaps a drag day at the House, with the government and opposition competing to wear the most outrageous costumes. Are we likely to see the first premiership players resplendent in stockings, suspenders and high heels, in the near future? Certainly some players wouldn't need to change their hairstyles! What a dream world it would be if everyone followed Hector's example. We would only be following fashion by obeying our inner instincts. No more problems with wives, fellow workers or the like. You can imagine nudging a neighbour, can't you and saying, "Look at that bloke over there. He's wearing trousers, suit and tie. Is he a pervert or something?"

Nov 201520

Travelling

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Travelling

The true secret of a feminine appearance is not found in make-up, hairstyle or clothes. Of course, these things are important, but to really be a convincing woman you must act like one. This is where deportment is essential, and these tips will help you learn how to make your body behave in a more feminine manner. The secret of good posture is very simple. Imagine a rucksack extending from the shoulders to the buttocks, pulling you back, throwing your chest forward, pulling in the stomach muscles and tightening the muscles of your bottom. Arms should be held loosely behind the side seams of the skirt. The hip or pelvic bones should be on an imaginary upward tilt. This is the foundation on which you can build the habit of good deportment. The need to practice Practice walking in high heels by laying a piece of tape on the floor in a straight line. Starting with the right foot, place the heel on the line and the toe slightly off the line. When taking a step forward, peel the back foot, the ankle passing the front leg's instep while the knee is bent. When it becomes the front leg the knee straightens and the foot is gently placed on the straight line as before with the heel on the line. Walk head high, chin parallel to the floor, legs together, arms relaxed and fingers curled to the sides.

Easy on the eye and the body A woman will always look at the seat of the chair before she sits. If there is anything there she will remove it. Feel the chair with the backs of the legs, hold the skirt in position, sit on the front of the chair and push back into the seat to sit comfortably with shoulders straight. It is proper to sit right against the backrest with both legs slanting to one side and feet pointing the same way, with one foot slightly in front of the other. Except when wearing a straight knee-length skirt the legs may occasionally be crossed. Clasp the hands lightly. A matter of balance Stand tall and do not slouch. Keep the knees together when standing still, the weight on one leg and the other slightly bent with the foot pointing outwards. A handbag tucked under the gives the body focus, and a glass held lightly by the stem gives you balance. Do not lean against the wall or stand with legs apart, hands in pockets or on hips.

Elegance at the table A woman must never appear gross, indelicate or inconsiderate at the table. A healthy appetite is itself desirable but greed and speed are not feminine attributes. Conduct yourself with a minimum of aggression and at all times be considerate of your partners when dining. Always hold the cup by the handle with the fingers arranged gracefully. Take care when drinking from tumblers or large glasses not to pour liquid down your throat. Do not overload the fork or spoon and do not leave lipstick on cups, glasses or napkins. Improve your car performance Entering or leaving a car requires particular care. Never put your legs in first and then swing in your body. Always seat yourself and then gently swing your legs, knees and ankle together, adjusting your skirt or dress over the knees. To exit swing your feet and legs out of the car, holding knees together, followed by the head and body. The folds of ones dress should fall naturally into place.

Nov 201520

Skirts

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SKIRTS

Skirts - tight skirts - split skirts - twirly skirts - flirty skirts. If you didn't love them, the chances are that you wouldn't be reading this. The skirt, more than any other object, can stand for the entire femi- nine outfit. In writing transvestite articles, one often needs a phrase meaning 'a feminine presentation'. Repeating the same phrase time after time would make for dull reading, so we writers rack our brains for something different from 'en femme' or 'cross dressed'. 'In a skirt' is a fairly popular variation on the theme. Here, 'skirts' stands for not only an entire set of clothes, but for the wig, the make-up, everything. If a skirt can stand - so effectively - for the entire outfit, it clearly carries a special significance for transvestites. It defines, in some way, what we are. It is part of our lives - and, undeniably, an object of desire. Lawrence Langer thought that 'the invention of the trouser and the skirt has enabled western men and women to achieve a balance social and sexual relationship.....' (The Importance of Wearing Clothes p70). Quite an achievement for a pair of garments! Perhaps the skirt stands for even more than it seems. Entire outfits are small beer compared with Langer's 'balanced social and sexual relationship'. For all of that, skirts are so much a part of my life - watching them on other people, wearing them myself - that often I take them for granted. But the skirt is quite a triumph of human ingenuity. In basis, it is the simplest - and very likely the first - garment worn by the human race. I suppose that the first skirt was a strip of animal skin fixed round the waist, very likely held in place with a bone pin. How different are the skirts in my wardrobe! They are complex structures formed from various pieces of carefully shaped fabric. I have a panel skirt made from twelve separate pieces of cloth, each in the form of a truncated triangle. In addition, it has a separate waist band and zip. I'm sure it's not the most complex skirt ever sewn - and maybe not even be the most complex of mine. Separately shaped pieces of fabric aside, there are pleats, tucks, darts, splits.... A lot of work goes into designing and making a skirt. People have devoted a lot of thought to the matter. Put in a lot of effort. The thought and effort are not random. Not only transves- tites, but people in general obviously like and desire skirts. They are widely considered worth the time, thought and effort they consume. There's a lot of pleasure in watching a well-designed skirt in motion. While trousers are essentially lifeless, a skirt is much more like a living thing - especially a fairly full skirt. The hemline hops like a rabbit or flutters like a bird. And with each hop or flutter, areas of the leg emerge or vanish. I am sometimes reminded of the sea - the rise and fall of the hemline like the bobbing of waves. Especially interesting variations in the life of the hemline can be achieved with splits. Although they're currently (and I trust, tem- porarily) not much in fashion, I harbour a lot of fond memories of skirts split above knee level. A teenage fashion, which I recall with particular affection, teamed over the knee socks and knee-length skirts with a small back split. As the girl stepped, a small triangle of thigh above the sock kept appearing and vanishing. It was an enchanting sight.

There's a lot of pleasure involved in watching a well designed skirt in motion. While trousers are essentially lifeless, a skirt is much more like a living thing - especially a fairly full skirt. The hemline hops like a rabbit or flutters like a bird. And with each hop or flutter, areas of the leg emerge or vanish. I am sometimes reminded of the sea - the rise and fall of the hemlines like the bobbing of the waves. Especially interesting variations in the life of the hemline can be acieved with splits. Although they're currently (and I trust only temporarily) not much in fashion, I harbour a lot of fond memories of skirts split above the knee level. A teeneage fashion, which I remember with particular fondness, teamed over-the-knee socks and knee-length skirts with a small back split. As the girl stepped, a small triangle of thigh above the sock kept appearing and disappearing - it was an enchanting sight. Paradoxically, a skirt can have the effect of exposing the wearer more than it covers her. I think, for example, of a woman I saw last summer. She wore a long button-up skirt with only the top 2 or 3 buttons fastened. Underneath, she wore a pair of cycling shorts. She could have worn the shorts without the skirt - in which case, I think, I wouldn't have given her a second glance - and certainly not had her in my mind a year later. Given the skirt, the shorts took on an aspect of an item of underwear, which appeared and disappeared (together with an expanse of leg) with every step. The effect was undeniably sexy. From the point of view of an ordinary man - if such a creature exists - I suppose the feeling inspired was purely of desire for the woman whose legs flickered in and out of her skirts. For me, it was more complex. That element of desire for her was present, but combined with a desire to be her, or at least to strut the street similarly covered and uncovered... The reference to 'strutting the street' illuminates an important aspect of skirt-wearing. It is something to be shared with the public at large, to be put on display. Much less than some other feminine items is the skirt a thing to be enjoyed in the privacy of a trannie's bedroom. Some of the joy of wearing frilly undies and sheer hosiery is, to be sure, lost in keeping them to ourselves - and not all of the pleasure of wearing a skirt is lost in private enjoyment. It's a matter of degree - with a skirt more of the pleasure is concentrated in the effect it produces in others. Thighs Nor do all of the specifically street-strutting pleasures stem entirely from other people. There is, for example, the effect of the breeze. There is something delicious in feeling the breeze about one's thighs, in a way which trousers would not permit. The breeze also, of course, makes a significant difference to the motion of the skirt - especially of a full skirt. I've already referred to the hem of a skirt bobbing up and down like sea waves. It will do so purely from the action of one's legs, and it is controllable insofar as this is the cause. The breeze introduces an uncontrollable and unpredictable element into the situation. That feels dangerous, and like all dangerous things is also exciting. It's exciting for those beholding the wind-whipped skirt, but may be even more exciting for the person wearing the skirt!

If I was writing an article on the first time I tried on feminine clothes - behind closed doors - I would not use the words 'in a skirt' to mean an entire outfit. Very often, the first time a trannie slips into something silky, a skirt will not be included in the outfit. Very likely, it will be a case of trying on a few pairs of panties, plus stockings or tights, perhaps. It may also be significant that, with hardly a moment's thought, I came up with 'slips into something silky' for this first act of cross dressing. At this early stage, the texture of fabrics may be more important than the form of the garments - how it feels, rather than what it is. Not that the way it feels is absent from the pleasure in a skirt. I have already mentioned feeling the breeze about one's thighs - and there are other delicious sensations, too. It's more that one has to put the skirt through its paces to experience the pleasant feelings, it's less an immediate pleasure on slipping on the garment. The slower dawning of the pleasure, though, is not necessarily a bad thing - something to anticipate, to enjoy at leisure. The initial pleasure, the first time one tries on a skirt, is likely to be visual - looking at the effect in a mirror, we see ourselves transformed into a closer approximation of the women we see in the streets. Glancing down, we see the skirt from an angle we have not seen before: on our own bodies. It is new, it is exciting. Perhaps we sit - inevitably without much grace. Inevitably, too, the skirt rides up - those are our own thighs suddenly exposed... thus we are drawn into the first pleasures of wearing a skirt. The skirt riding up as we sit down may be our first introduction to the skirt modifying the way we move. With a full skirt, a massculine gait may set the hemline moving more than we wish. With a tight skirt, our step is restircted much more directly. A long stride is impossible without damaging the garment. The feeling of a skirt confining our legs as we attempt too long a step may be our first experience of a direct physical sensation arising from skirt-wearing. There is something akin to bondage - sexually potent, arousing - in this sensation. In extreme cases (ie the hobble skirt), our legs are more or less trussed up. Wearing full skirts, it's a question of whether (and how much) we wish to expose our thighs. If the tight skirt is exciting because it reduces our options, a full one may be exciting because it increases them. We can elect to step demurely - or we could decide on the opposite. Maybe we'll do a twirl in front of the mirror, we might flash our knickers that way, if the skirt is full - although succeeding in that may take a little practice. Assuming control of a full skirt is a skill. Once beyond the confines of our own homes we may well choose to wear our skirts modestly, or boldly, by turns. Tripping down the street, our modest little steps are probably best, hems bouncing a little but not outrageously. Stepping onto the dancefloor, we encounter the allure of spinning, allowing our skirts to fly like birds, the joy of flashing our undies. The choice between modesty and boldness lies not only in the ways we move, but in which skirt we select. There is an enormous range of variations on the theme of the skirt. They cannot only vary from the tightest sheath-like creations to full circle skirts - but the hemline can be anywhere between the floor and the upper thigh. To judge from the people I see, mini skirts are very popular with trannies. I have several of them myself - they're so hard to resist. The trouble with a mini is that it allows little scope for the "now you see, now you don't" tease. Of course, they do allow the possibility of knicker-flash - that said, flashing one's knickers in a really pleasing way whilst wearing a very short skirt is less easy than it may seem. It can be done - tennis players provide a good example - but it will require a bit of thought and practice. This element of putting thought and practice into getting the most out of wearing a skirt is, surely, a factor in the skirt being such an object of desire. Effective skirt wearing is an art, and

Art

The element of developing an art is found in much of what transvestites do. Applying make-up is a good example - the first time one tries to apply cosmetics, the result is usually a mess. It takes time, practice and patience to get it right. Insofar as wearing a skirt is an art, however, it's significantly different from applying amke-up. The art of doing our faces is one of getting ready. The art of wearing a skirt is one which continues throught our time spent cross dressing. There is a contrast, too, with other feminine arts which continue beyond the process of getting ready. Wlaking in high heels is definitely an art, and one that isn't easily acquired. There is however respite from walking in heels every time we sit down. A skirt still needs to be managed while (and especially so) we are sitting. The act of sitting with any decorum in a crinoline must have been quite a challenge for Edward Boulton, Frederick Park, and their fellow Victorian trannies. It involved sliding into the seat with the utmost care - plonking oneself straight down into the chair would have pushed the skirt hoops up into a vertical position, violently and startlingly disarranging the garment. The effect of sitting down without caution in modern skirts is less dramatic, but the act can expose areas we might choose to keep hidden. The idea of choice is central, here. We may choose to expose our thighs or even our knickers, but if we cannot control our hemlines there is no choice. It is in the exercise of such choices, in calculating our degree of exposure, that a lot of the pleasure in skirt wearing lies. Neither does control over the skirt cease to be an issue once one is seated. A skirt can easily ride up slowly while one is sitting. That, I think is the decisive factor in many women choosing to sit on public transport with large bags on their laps. At some point in our transvestite development, the desire to present a genuinely convincing feminine appearance is almost certain to arise. The first time one sits in a skirt, exposing ones underwear, will probably feel exciting. Sooner or later, though, there arises a feeling that a real woman wouldn't do this. One may regard a skirt therefore not just as something to wear, but a teacher - an instructor in the ways of femininity. Walking in a tight skirt, it is worth taking careful note of the way it restricts the length of onne's stride. There is a pleasure in feeling the tug of the hemline, but, to learn something, ignore the pleasure. Take shorter steps. Reduce them to the point where the skirt no longer restircts the stride. Look carefully at that short-step gait in the mirror - does it make you appear more feminine? I'd be surprised if it didn't. To learn from a fuller skirt, and to learn about feminine ways of sitting, the mirror is needed again. Sit down in front of a full length mirror. How far does your skirt ride up? Could you sit in a different way with less effect on your hemline? Try composing your legs in different ways - crossing them near the ankle; crossing your thighs; placing your ankle on the opposing thigh. You'll soon see why the last of those postures is so entirely masculine. Press your legs tightly together, then spread them far apart. Your skirts speak volumes about masculine and feminine body language, if you watch what they're telling you. Mirror work to learn more subtle points can involve switching viewpoints. Imagine you are a woman trying to give subtle encouragement to a man sitting opposite, without wishing to appear cheap or vulgar. How do you arrange your skirt? Just how much leg do you display? Now imagine you're the man sitting opposite. The reflection in the mirror is a woman you don't know. What do you think of her? Is it too blatant a come-on? Are you intrigued? Be honest...

Skirts are to be enjoyed!! All of this mirror work revolves around manipulating your skirts, seeing what works, what doesn't, what looks vulgar, what's enticing. There is a lot of fun - and a lot of instruction - to be had before ever taking your skirts beyond the bedroom door. Once out on the street, or in a trannie-friendly venue, your skirts can be a whole lot more fun. They are there to be enjoyed!! Skirts are not only fun, but comfortable. They're not as restrictive as trouser, and they don't chafe the legs. The inner thighs are amongst the more sensitive parts of the body - stroking them can release powerful sensual feelings. The effect of chafing these delicate areas with rough trousers is not, I feel sure, something most men consider. Become used to the way a skirt feels, however, and we can hardly fail to notice - the skirt is so much more comfortable! Of course, skirts are generally worn with thigh-encasing hosiery: stockings or tights. Indeed, as the temperature drops, skirts cease to be comfortable without such hosiery. On a really cold night, it is not comfortable without thick tights. But wearing stockings or tights is not at all like wearing trousers. They don't rub the thighs so much as move with them, like a second skin. As well as being physically comfortable, skirts bring a sense of freedom. Our legs escape from the restrictions imposed by their individual cloth tubes. The thighs can rub against each other. There's a whole gamut of extraordinarily pleasant sensations. Not only does a skirt give a sense of freedom to the wearer, but the freedom extends to people with whom we're on intimate terms. I never heard of sexual dalliance in the form of a hand up the trousers - a hand up the skirt is another matter. The openness of a skirt gives the hand plenty of room to manoeuvre. It's pleasant for the person whose hand it is, but in my experience it's a lot more pleasant for the person in the skirt. Thinking about that particular joy of skirts seems a good place to leave this article. At the time of writing, I own 54 skirts - not counting my dresses - tight, full, long, shorter; such a variety that it feels as though there could never be too many. They're fun for me, and I trust they are also for friends and special friends... Keep the skirts twirling! I think that's what transvestism is all

Nov 201520

Wives, the Media and Transvestites

---cdata-eal-admin--- special interest

The poor demented housewife will then say that she questioned her blushing partner and he confessed, the wicked pervert, to finding a delight in women's clothes, lingerie, perfume and make-up. He went even further, said he wished to be a girl, was sorry that God had made him a male, would love to walk around town as a female, and had almost a hatred of male clothing. What could the poor girl do? It was a cruel blow, he had always been so loving, gentle, a good father and she had thought how manly he was! Now all that had been lost because he loved knickers. She must take pen to paper and slowly write down her problem, seal it with tears and post it to Aunt Maude, or Dear Fiona, or Diedre or any other understanding media girl... One would expect a little sympathy tinged with understanding and sound advice, but the Agony Aunt is as horrified as the poor wife. Yes, seperation would be a good thing. Maybe he is gay or perverted, it is certainly something to keep hidden from the children, and maybe one day she could find happiness with a more manly man, and yes, she was right to feel upset, afraid, and to seek some drastic way of escape. How lacking in understanding are the experts, for as any true transvestite or transsexual knows, there is no major connection between wanting to dress as a girl and being gay. Sure, some transvestites are gay, just as some of any group are gay. When dressed as a man I feel frustrated, depressed, hating every unattractive garment. But when I throw off my male attire, as I do whenever possible, and put on the beautiful lingerie and clothes of a woman, then I feel happy and free. To be dressed as a girl would not make me a less gentle or loving husband for, indeed, it would show how gentle, how feminine, how soft-hearted and emotional I could be.

The transvestite who loves his children, treats his wife with gentleness and chivalry and takes a full share of the household duties - is he to be counted as evil, while the drunkard, the womaniser or the gambling wastrel is the kind of husband a wife will standy by, swear obedience to? If I were a wife I would wish my husband to be loving, kind, considerate and gentle even if he were dressed as Miss World. Why do we wish to trans-dress rather than transgress? The simple reason is that our mothers taught us many feminine ideas; taught us to be gentle, to love beauty and admire good taste. We found that the colourful and dainty lingerie and the soft touch of silk and satin brought a clinging, sensual and almost erotic sensation, for it was as gentle as an angel's kiss. The crude, utilitarian cut of male Y-fronts hurst the aesthetic ideals of life we have gleaned from our mothers, and there was the heavenly delight when the true beauty of lace-trimmed French knickers caressed our thighs. Everything feminine was delightful, the pale pastels of well-designed bras, the fairy cake lightness of silken slips, the gossamer see-through of the baby doll nighties. Was all this to be denied us because we were created male? Did the wearing of it cause us to be perverts, to wish to make love to our own sex, to make us less worthy of loving and caring for children? There were the lovely hairstyle that women could adopt, perms and curls, long waves to the shoulders and colours as variant as the rainbow. But, to be manly, it had to be short back and sides, natural colours whether pleasing or not, until grey and white proclaimed one's age. There were the exquisite perfumes distilled from the flowers of France, odours that lingered as if one lived beneath the honeysuckle or the jasmine, sweet delights that hurt nobody. Why are we perverts because we admire the scents that are like bouquets of paradise? When I am as a woman I am happy, I feel full of gentleness and love, I wish to take all children by the hand and pour out true affection on them. I am not aggressive, I have no desire for over-indulgence in alcohol, and no longing to beat girlfriend or wife.

The very clothing of the male is designed to create aggresssion; even the three buttons of the sword-fighting days still remain on coat sleeves, and all that utility and plainness is to make getting to battle stations more easy. Nevertheless, many wives who return from the shops or office to find their husband or son happily prancing around the bedroom in bra and panties balieve there is a weird perversion here, a danger to domestic life. Such men are unworthy to look after children, and Agony Aunts recommend a break-up of the home, a tearing apart of family life. Oh, the futility of such ideas! For if I had been born a woman then I would have chosen to marry a gentle, kind, loving, transvestite rather than a macho, heavy drinking, wife-beating aggressive male. The former I could love, and the latter I would divorce. SO much for tha Agony Aunt and her advice! I love perfume, I appreciate jewels, I admire earrings and bangles and prefer delicately-coloured lingerie to plain male attire but that does not make me gay. It does not give me any desire to love my own sex - far from it. I long for the company of those who share my feelings and sensations - and such people are women. The time is surely here when a person should be able to walk freely, head held high, dressed as he or she pleases and not be restrained by Victorian and Medieval taboos.

The Realities of Gender Reassignment

THE REALITIES OF GENDER REASSIGNMENT

10 Ways to Come Out of the Closet

10 WAYS TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET

Why We Envy Women

WHY WE ENVY WOMEN

Will They Still Love Me After I Tell Them?

The Male Reaction - Reactions

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THE REALITIES OF GENDER REASSIGNMENT

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WHY WE ENVY WOMEN

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