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Nov 201520

Why am I a Transvestite ?

frequently asked questions

Advice how why you are a transvestite, transsexual, transgender, transwoman. Help and advice from Transformation

You only have to walk down the local high street to realise that not all women take the same degree of pleasure in wearing feminine clothes as others.

 

So it is that not all mothers will introduce their children to their allure, and again not all children are going to be susceptible to the allure of clothes. This in turn can mean that not all wives or partners will have the same feelings for clothes as our own mothers and may, indeed, have less interest in them than we have.

 

It has been noted by some authorities that a proportion of TVs have an above average sex drive. Moreover many of our ideas about sex and love start in our earliest years and the relationships of that time. Consequently a young man with a strong sex drive – which is probably something we are born with – when combined with a powerful and glamorous mother figure, may well link the process of making love with the sort of glamour that he saw in his youth.

 

Glamorisation

 

Later, in his married life he may look for the same sort of glamour in his partner and if he finds it, will probably be unaware of the underlying need for it.

 

Unfortunately not all couples share the same level of sex drive or interest in the physical expression of their love. If this is the case and the man is disappointed in this part of his life, subconscious urges may push him to find glamour and even sexual release by creating it around his own person.

 

The glamourisation of oneself can be quite simply done by wearing distinctive clothes, or adopting a personal style of dress that satisfies ones idea about oneself. Interestingly, changes like these may help to bridge the gap in the relationship and create a masculine figure that the partner finds more attractive and hence more acceptable as a lover. When this is not the case the sex drive may lead to a search for other female company either for the occasional fling, or for a permanent change.

 

Sexual

 

The fling can be enjoyed with another woman, in the form of an affair or one-night-stand in which there is grave danger of causing hurt to the other party or to oneself.

 

It would not be a conscious decision to turn to feminine things but more likely the result of frustration from a lack of sexual outlets that leads to the classic moments of early TV discovery.

 

The seconds spent lingering over the wife’s clothes when she is not around soon develop to a snatched moment donning a dress or some undies while she is out. At any point the level of satisfaction may prove to be adequate and the process to full trasvestism can stop, equally the relationship may improve so that the frustration goes away and the sex drive finds a more usual outlet.

 

There comes a point for many who cross-dress when the urge to do so becomes important in itself and leads to the next major step – the possesion of ones own wardrobe. This may start in a clandestine manner with the purchase of some special items which are enjoyed and then thrown away, but soon this is not enough and more complete adventures may be tried.

 

A night away on business gives one the chance to spend several hours dressed in the hotel room and afterwards the garments may find a home in some hiding place in the car or the attic.

 

I have heard of TVs who have had an entire wardrobe in the attic under the pretext of having a model railway up there. This is fine and allows many hours of cross-dressing right in the heart of the home, but surely discovery is also inevitable? But that’s another story.

 

What I have described here is a route that frequently leads to the TV way of life, but many would be able to put in different details that round out the story in their own case, and many have only the need to go some of the way to feel an acceptable level of contentment.

 

For some, the joy of wearing feminine clothes is enough in itself and it doesn’t worry them if a beautiful wedding gown, for instance, is set below the sight of a scruffy beard. For others the frequency of episodes of cross-dressing can be low, perhaps just once or twice a year, and the manner of it can vary from the outrageous caricature of femininity to the well known cliches of schoolgirl, tart or nurse.

 

Encounter

 

These may all relate back to images from youth, close friends in primary school perhaps, or a hauntingly romantic but brief encounter with some one who was clearly a whore at heart.

 

They provide the satisfaction that is good for the particular individual and at each stage the process towards further changes may stop, frustration satisfied, or the price of carrying on to high.

 

The image of self may be too upsetting because we are not necessarily proud of our secondary personae. Alternatively the challenge to our family life is too great – it’s ironic really because cross-dressing may have its origins in an attempt to find a compromise for one’s sex drive without placing family at risk.

 

Another critical point in development may soon crop up; the wish to create a truly womanly image of oneself. It may start as dissatisfaction with what has been achieved so far. A bra stuffed with tissue, or a pair of stockings, soon seems a poor alternative when compared with the almost natural feel of prosthetic breasts or the possibility of growing ones own with hormone creams or pills.

 

To feel for the first time the weight of prosthetic breasts moving as a part of ones body is an unbelievable thrill. To wear an entire ensemble with frothy petticoats, undies, high heels and a pretty frock can open the door to more possibilities, although again there is a price to pay, and there is a risk that such exhibitionism can be damaging to ones social standing.

 

It is a lucky cross-dresser who has a partner who can be happy with his personal passion. Too often the drive to dress can also lead to a move to live alone. In some ways that is very sad, for there are not many of us who really enjoy being alone, but then under these conditions loneliness can give way to spending much more with one’s alter ego.

 

Of course if the step to live alone has been taken, then another series of vista open up. It may be possible to consider living full time dressed as a women, either in the outside world, within the confines of the house or only at times when one is unlikely to be disturbed.

 

There is also the chance to live with someone who is like-minded or accepting a man who wishes to be seen as a women. In this situation the experiences of ones childhood that sowed the seeds seem far away.

 

The warmth of the mother’s love may be in the subconscious; the sneaky masturbation that accompanied early essays at donning female garments will be just an embarrassing memory, for now the joy of feeling and looking feminine and beautiful will have become a reason in itself.

 

At this stage one turns away from the extremes of exhibitionist garments, the bulky petticoats, the extravagent skirts and blouses, and wears the more truly feminine clothes that you see on other women.

 

Where, then has the man gone? Is he totally rejected? Certainly he is in most cases, but in others he may be still be someone on the outside looking in and getting pleasure from creating the woman he also is, knowing himself to be a man but loving the woman. Possibly a man only at his workplace, for all other times, his glamourous alter ego.

 

Identify

 

And so what started as some expression of a Freudian sexual need, established when a child, becomes in its most advanced form an art that becomes a completely satisfying lifesyle in itself.

 

Many of us have set off along this path. At any time we may realise that we have reached some specific point along it. We may know that this is enough for us and decide to be content as we are, but on the other hand we may decide to continue further.

 

Some readers will only identify with a few of the stages listed here, others will recognise much of their own experience. The lesson to learn from it is to understand what pressures lie behind your passion, to respect it and to accept it, but at the same time be considerate of those around you. They should not be troubled or offended by what can be a bizarre type of behaviour for those that don’t understand it.



Nov 201520

Uniforms

short story

UNIFORMS

  Maids in little black dresses with a froth of white petticoats, schoolgirls' white socks and gymslips, nurses in starched aprons - don't you just love them? I know I do,and not only do most of us love them but we love the idea of them, and we love being them. Or at least as near to being them as we can manage by slipping into their uniforms! In a broad sense, it is possible to argue that transvestism is all about uniform: the uniforms of the two sexes. It is only a step beyond dressing as the opposite sex to adopt dress which defines our place in the world more precisely. Genuine uniforms can be very precise indeed. A real school uniform not only identifies the wearer as a schoolgirl, but as the pupil of a specific school. More - as uniforms change, it identifies her as belonging to a particular time. Many uniforms indicate rank - most obviously those of the military and the police. Our first feeling is probably that uniforms make those who wear them look the same as each other, and in some ways they do. Paradoxically, however, some uniforms can be more individual than any other form of clothing. A good example is a Girl Guide blouse which is one of my more treasured posessions (it fits me too!). This blouse carries many badges including those of rank (patrol leader). Another badge identifies the forget-me-not patrol and the shoulder flash is of the 7th New Malden Guides. The interest badges include entertainer, sportswoman, collector, hostess... and so on. It is doubtful whether another Guide in the entire history of the movement accumulated exactly the same collection of badges. Indeed, if the original owner were to read this, she might be able to identify her old blouse from the details I've given! Gaining such insight into the original owner is one of the great joys of genuine uniforms. Considering how nearly genuine they may be, there are - as I see it - five kinds of uniform. That's not to count them by role (schoolgirl, nurse, maid and so on) - by that count there are a lot more than five sorts. The five uniform kinds I have in mind are: fantasy, improvised, authentic, genuine, and composite. Each has its own attractions and enjoyments.
    Fantasy uniforms are fun, are not difficult to find, but can hardly be mistaken for the real thing. How astonished would we be, for example, to go into hospital to find ourselves treated by women in sex shop nurses' uniforms. There is enough of the nurse to them for us to grasp the general idea, but there's no danger of us confusing the wearers with real nurses. The impression they give is of tarts indulging their clients' nurse-related fantasies. Fantasy nurses' uniforms are probably not the examples most commonly found. All, or almost all, of the available maids' uniforms seem to come into this category. Not all of these are equally removed from the things that real maids might wear. I have a lot of doubt as to whether anyone who hired a girl to do the housework ever dressed that girl in satin. But satin seems more likely than PVC, in spite of the latter being easier to clean. The reasons for PVC seeming so improbable for real maids, of course, must include the fact that shiny plastic clothing only made its first appearance in the 1960s, well after the heyday of real maids. Perhaps more significant is the way in which PVC had only a short life as a material for ordinary female wear. The fate of my youngest sister's mid 1960s PVC coat may throw some light on the material losing favour. Passing on front of a - then common - paraffin heater, a large hole appeared in the easily-melted material. Since then, PVC has been pretty well exclusively seen as fetish wear. And of course, the fabrics of fantasy uniforms are chosen not with an eye to the stuff of real uniforms, but because they are - in themselves - popular materials. Nothing wrong with popular materials of course, there is always a reason for their popularity. I referred to the 1960s as being well after the heyday of real maids. This may give a clue as to why every maid's uniform I've seen has been a fantasy one, whereas most of the schoolgirl uniforms available are better characterised as authentic (of which more later). Unless you count the likes of hotel chambermaids, I've never seen a real maid. Hotel chambermaids are likely to wear tabards rather than the typical maid's uniform Fantasy uniforms can be very satisfying, there is no reason why they shouldn't be. Essentially, when transvestites dress in uniform, they do so as part of a fantasy. If a uniform is specially designed for that fantasy, it ought to be able to support it precisely. Being a real nurse is hard work, and the uniforms reflect that fact. Being a fantasy nurse is a piece of frolicking: the fantasy uniforms reflect this in the same way.
    Fantasy uniforms are fun, are not difficult to find, but can hardly be mistaken for the real thing. How astonished would we be, for example, to go into hospital to find ourselves treated by women in sex shop nurses' uniforms. There is enough of the nurse to them for us to grasp the general idea, but there's no danger of us confusing the wearers with real nurses. The impression they give is of tarts indulging their clients' nurse-related fantasies. Fantasy nurses' uniforms are probably not the examples most commonly found. All, or almost all, of the available maids' uniforms seem to come into this category. Not all of these are equally removed from the things that real maids might wear. I have a lot of doubt as to whether anyone who hired a girl to do the housework ever dressed that girl in satin. But satin seems more likely than PVC, in spite of the latter being easier to clean. The reasons for PVC seeming so improbable for real maids, of course, must include the fact that shiny plastic clothing only made its first appearance in the 1960s, well after the heyday of real maids. Perhaps more significant is the way in which PVC had only a short life as a material for ordinary female wear. The fate of my youngest sister's mid 1960s PVC coat may throw some light on the material losing favour. Passing on front of a - then common - paraffin heater, a large hole appeared in the easily-melted material. Since then, PVC has been pretty well exclusively seen as fetish wear. And of course, the fabrics of fantasy uniforms are chosen not with an eye to the stuff of real uniforms, but because they are - in themselves - popular materials. Nothing wrong with popular materials of course, there is always a reason for their popularity. I referred to the 1960s as being well after the heyday of real maids. This may give a clue as to why every maid's uniform I've seen has been a fantasy one, whereas most of the schoolgirl uniforms available are better characterised as authentic (of which more later). Unless you count the likes of hotel chambermaids, I've never seen a real maid. Hotel chambermaids are likely to wear tabards rather than the typical maid's uniform Fantasy uniforms can be very satisfying, there is no reason why they shouldn't be. Essentially, when transvestites dress in uniform, they do so as part of a fantasy. If a uniform is specially designed for that fantasy, it ought to be able to support it precisely. Being a real nurse is hard work, and the uniforms reflect that fact. Being a fantasy nurse is a piece of frolicking: the fantasy uniforms reflect this in the same way.
    Punishment This old-fashioned air may serve as an aid to the spanking fantasies. The gymslip relates to education in the era when there was corporal punishment in our schools. The fantasy is aided by the fact that such a look is authentic for that period. Female uniforms - the genuine article - are still being manufactured, of course, but sadly they are not easy to buy. Most women's uniforms, whether for the police and armed services or for private companies, are issued only to authorised personnel and are not for sale. However, there are workwear suppliers sall over the world for catering and health care staff etc. Trannies that want to dress like a waitress, a cakeshop assistant or a veterinary nurse can be reasonably easily kitted out. There are also masses of brand new school uniforms for sale, although there can be few trannies that would care to seek these out. Most of these uniforms are obviously in very small sizes, and going to a supplier and buying the items would take a lot of nerve. It is even quite possible that the shop would refuse to sell to you. Paradoxically, it is probably easier to buy old genuine uniforms than brand new ones. Perhaps the easiest and cheapest source of all may not be very helpful, but items of old school uniform surface from time to time in charity shops. Unless you are very slightly built, you will be extremely lucky if you can find anything that fits you. Another source of genuine uniforms is the body of people entitled to wear them. One of my trannie friends has a genuine nurses uniform: a gift from a lover who was a nurse. It is of obsolete design and no longer suitable for wearing in a hospital, but has proved eminently suitable for wear as part of a transvestite fantasy!
  Punishment This old-fashioned air may serve as an aid to the spanking fantasies. The gymslip relates to education in the era when there was corporal punishment in our schools. The fantasy is aided by the fact that such a look is authentic for that period. Female uniforms - the genuine article - are still being manufactured, of course, but sadly they are not easy to buy. Most women's uniforms, whether for the police and armed services or for private companies, are issued only to authorised personnel and are not for sale. However, there are workwear suppliers sall over the world for catering and health care staff etc. Trannies that want to dress like a waitress, a cakeshop assistant or a veterinary nurse can be reasonably easily kitted out. There are also masses of brand new school uniforms for sale, although there can be few trannies that would care to seek these out. Most of these uniforms are obviously in very small sizes, and going to a supplier and buying the items would take a lot of nerve. It is even quite possible that the shop would refuse to sell to you. Paradoxically, it is probably easier to buy old genuine uniforms than brand new ones. Perhaps the easiest and cheapest source of all may not be very helpful, but items of old school uniform surface from time to time in charity shops. Unless you are very slightly built, you will be extremely lucky if you can find anything that fits you. Another source of genuine uniforms is the body of people entitled to wear them. One of my trannie friends has a genuine nurses uniform: a gift from a lover who was a nurse. It is of obsolete design and no longer suitable for wearing in a hospital, but has proved eminently suitable for wear as part of a transvestite fantasy!

Nov 201520

Life of A Victorian Maid

short story

LIFE OF A VICTORIAN MAID

Female domestic staff usually had to provide their own clothing. In the Victorian and Edwardian periods, this would typically have been a lilac, blue or pink working dress with a white cap and apron for the morning. In the afternoon, which was the time for visitors, servants would change into a formal black dress and frilled apron and cap. In grander houses, a female servant might have worn a white blouse, white petticoat and underskirt and then a black pinafore over the top. She would have had a white frilly cap with a coloured ribbon. The alternative, perhaps for less dirty work would have been a white blouse, black bodice and then a white pinafore dress on top. The cap would have been black with white trim. In our house, Florence wears a dark apron for dirty jobs such as laying the fires, over her blue working dress. Florence wears Julia's old clothes during her free time; for her afternoon off once a week. On Sundays, she wears a plain, sombre, black coat and skirt, with black shoes, stockings and gloves. She has a toque style of hat. In most houses, there would be too much work to allow the maid of all work to rest during the day. Jobs would include making fires, carrying the coal in, dealing with tradesmen and women, cleaning - housework including spring cleaning, washing, washing up, cooking and making tea, preparing beds, carrying hot water, running errands. And in the larger houses, managing junior staff. They would also mend their own clothes, and check the doors and windows were locked at night. By 1890, many houses sent their washing out as this was cheaper. If there was a separate cook, with other work done by a housemaid, the maid of all work would be a 'plain cook', preparing simple dishes such as meat, vegetables and puddings. Morning Florence has an early start each morning; in the summer she is at work by 6am and in the darkness of the winter by 7am. After washing and dressing, she goes round the house, opening the shutters and curtains, and opening a few windows. In each room, she takes up the hearth rug, places the fender on a cloth, and cleans and re-lays the fire. She polishes the brass and steel work. Florence then sweeps each downstairs room, collecting the dust near the fireplace. She carries her tools, including brushes, blacklead, emery paper and polishing cloths, from room to room in a wooden box. The cinders from each fireplace go in the bottom. She then dusts the furniture. One of her friends who works at a nearby house has a Bissell carpet sweeper, but Florence has to make do with a variety of brushes. She takes a supply of coal and kindling to each fireplace and lights the downstairs fires; today's March morning is chilly. A large range could burn 1 hundredweight (nearly 51kg) of coal per day, costing about one shilling in 1890. The Bush family have a medium-sized range, but together with the fireplaces, they consume about this much coal in the coldest part of the winter. Sidney pops his head round the kitchen door; "Can I have my breakfast, Florence?". "Oh, sorry sir." Sidney just has some bread so it takes just a moment to prepare things. She takes them into the dining room. Her next task is to prepare the breakfast for the children, Mary, who has just arrived, and for herself. They have bacon and cold meat for breakfast in the week, and sausages or bloaters on Sunday. As the has her first moment of rest in the day, Sidney leaves the house for his train journey to London.

  Florence quickly finishes her breakfast, and then goes upstairs with hot water for her mistress and the children. Mary is giving the children their breakfast and will help them get washed and dressed. "Good morning, Florence." says Julia. "Good morning, missus." replies Florence. She sets the jug of hot water down on the wash stand and prepares Julia's clothes. "I am going calling this afternoon, so I will need my best skirt and blouse. And Mr and Mrs Browne are coming for dinner tonight at 7." Florence silently groaned. She had hoped to have her afternoon off today, but now she would need to prepare fancy food for dinner; Mr and Mrs Browne always needed to be impressed. Florence brushed madam's hair, and helped her dress. By 8:30, Julia was ready for the day, and Florence went back downstairs and brought breakfast through to the dining room. At 9, the whole family assembled in the dining room for morning prayers. After clearing away all the breakfast things and washing them up, Florence sweeps and dusts upstairs. Her mistress's eldest daughter Constance helps Florence to make the beds and do some of the chores. She is quite a willing girl so her work makes quite a difference. Florence goes round the house collecting the oil lamps, and takes them to the kitchen. She cleans and trims them, refills them, and then takes them back. Her next task is to clean up the candle sticks; the family don't use too many as they are expensive. She then discusses the day's menu with Julia and is sent out to buy a few items, such as yeast, that are not delivered. In their road, a baker brings fresh bread each day in a basket, and the milkman brings the milk on a cart. Florence has to visit the greengrocer's, butcher, and fish shop.  

  Afternoon Returning home, Florence makes the midday meal for Mary and the children, and herself. They eat this together in the kitchen at about 12:30. Their usual lunch is cold meat; most weeks there is ham and chicken. Then Florence prepares luncheon for her mistress, who sits down to eat at 1:30. Florence then helps her mistress undress for her rest, and goes downstairs to clear away from lunch. Her next tasks are to begin preparing the meal for tonight. She has barely started when Julia calls for her help with dressing for the afternoon. The kitchen and nursery tea at 5pm is mackerel, with bread and butter and a small cake. Barely finished, Julia returns from her visiting. Florence helps her to change for evening.  

  Evening At 6:15 Sidney returns home, and Florence takes him hot water. At 6:30, the guests arrive; Florence welcomes them, and shows them into the drawing room. The dinner seems to go well; the Brownes leave at about 9:30. Once the ladies have moved to the drawing room, Florence clears the last items from the dining room, leaving the men in peace. At 9:00, after clearing up and washing up, Florence has a quick kitchen supper of bread and cheese. Florence cleans Sidney and Julia's shoes, checks that the drawing and dining room fires are safe, turns out the downstairs oil lamps, and locks the doors and closes windows. She then attends to Julia, helping her to undress and wash. She removes the slops.    



Nov 201520

Transformation Staff

frequently asked questions

Transformation Staff



Nov 201520

The Story of Stephanie Anne Lloyd - Chapter 1

short story
  Meeting Stephanie today, a glamorous and self-assured wife and business woman, it's hard to imagine the confused little boy from St Albans she had once been all those years ago. It may sound like an old cliché - but when it comes to transvestites and transsexuals, it really does take one to know one. Unless you yourself have experienced the mental confusion of being a boy who wants to be a girl - full-time or part-time - you really haven't a clue what it's all about. Doctors and psychiatrists might discuss it, daytime television presenters may discuss it, your wife or girlfriend might go along with it. But in truth, they can never really know how it feels. Stephanie Anne Lloyd does know, simply because she was a boy who grew to be a woman. She doesn't know why she was like that any more than you or I do - it's just the hand we were dealt. For Stephanie, it was a particularly tricky hand. Her previous male self - Keith Hull - came from a strictly religious background, was married with children he adored, and had a keith.jpghighly paid successful career in front of him. If he could just have lived his life "normally" as a man, he would have had it made. But, for some reason he couldn't understand, Keith had always just known he wasn't like other boys - he grew to look like a man and act like a man, but acting the part was the closest he could get. Inside, under the protective shell he had created for the sake of normality, was the soul of a woman. Many of you reading this might recognise his dilemma. Should Keith have carried on through life trying to play the role his parents and family expected, or should he have been true to his inner self - at whatever cost that could bring? Keith ultimately chose truth and took the path to becoming Stephanie - although the cost proved higher than even he could ever have imagined. The affluent, highly respected family man found himself overnight tainted as an outcast. She suffered savage publicity, was shunned by her parents, her wife, her children and her friends. She lost her home, her job, and all the money she had. Some things, however, did remain. Her indomitable spirit and defiance of defeat. Stephanie was determined to put her experience, however painful it might have been for her, to some good use. The result was Transformation, and a whole new beginning not only for Stephanie, but for TVs and TSs throughout the UK. Transformation was the very first business in the country to openly promote a specialist service for transvestites. Stephanie opened the closet door for us all.   Like so many transsexuals, Stephanie can't put her finger on when she first realised she was different to her boyhood pals, but she will never forget the recurring dream that filled her nights from the age of five. A dream in which the young Keith was kidnapped and turned into a girl by a couple who had lost their daughter, and who wanted him to take her place.   By the age of seven Keith had discovered the dream could cross into reality, if only occasionally, in dressing-up sessions with his friends. They put on their own private plays, with Keith taking the girls' roles whenever he could. "I had always found my strange dreams frightening and confusing," she explained. "Yet there was something about dressing as a girl that gave me a strange sense of contentment. Somehow, it seemed to feel right.   f508_1388.jpg"The moment I put a dress on I felt less clumsy, more natural and more peaceful than I have ever remembered feeling before." With the benefit of hindsight, and the more enlightened times in which we live, it may seem surprising that it took Keith another 30 years to fully understand that sense of contentment. BUt back in 1953, boys were boys and girls were girls. No seven year old could think anything else, let alone the son of staunch Jehovah's Witness parents.   And so started the long mental struggle against the inevitable, through puberty and teens, and into an early married life. Keith had always been popular with the girls, mainly because he found he could relate to them in a way that other boys just couldn't. He and his future wife Marilyn seemed made for each other from the start, and by the time he was 21 they were married and settled in a modern semi-detached house in suburban Hertfordshire. The birth of twin boys seemed to seal their future. f508_1389.jpgIn many ways, Keith appeared the perfect husband. His career was really taking off and in the office he was a shining star, but he still found time to take his share of the domestic role. Some fathers may have done it grudgingly, but Keith relished every minute. "To bath my sons and watch them gurgle with joy as they splashed around in the water was a constant delight," she said. "I was really in my element and couldn't have felt happier"

Nov 201520

The New Secretary

short story

2312

I had been looking for work in the want ads and noticed there weren’t many choices. Most of the jobs were menial labor or fast food types and didn’t pay much. But I did find a job opening listed at a local law office. I circled the ad then drove down to apply.

 

I entered the small out of the way building and noticed a stack of papers and books on a couple desks in the main office. After asking if anyone was in I heard a ladies voice. She told me to come into her office. I entered to see her moving about the paperwork while she talked on the phone. After she motioned for me to take a seat I waited until she was done with her call.

 

“Can I help you?” She said with a smile. I showed her the ad she had placed in the paper for a legal secretary. She took her seat and looked me over as I handed her my resume.

 

“I do need a secretary very badly as you can probably tell from the mess of papers and books in here” she said. “I know these days that there are a lot of male secretaries out there and you seem well qualified” she continued “but I am more in the market for a woman secretary, it’s more traditional, you understand.”

 

I told her that I had a degree and would rather use my brain than have to twirl either a spatula or a shovel. She seemed to understand as I continued about really needing a job and after I nearly begged for the chance she finally relented.

 

“You don’t mind doing what is usually women’s work then?”

 

I told her I didn’t mind. With that she hired me and had me report bright and early the next day.

 

It didn’t take long to get the place in shape and within a couple weeks I pretty much learned all I needed to know. I worked at my desk answering the phone and typing reports in the outer office and Donna worked in her private office. She was a good lawyer, was in her early 50’s or so and had a bit of a buxom build. She was larger than I was and with me being slightly built and short as well she was also a couple inches taller. She often teased me that I should maybe wear high heels around the office so I could be taller than her! I then thought it a bit strange as I noticed that her clothing seemed just the slightest bit masculine in appearance.

 

I passed the comment off until a couple weeks later. I had been working there for a month and everything was rolling right along when one Friday afternoon Donna called me into her office. It had been a bit slow that week and it was nice to not have to hustle quite so much and I thought that after the work got down to a routine it would be a pretty good job, especially since I was making about ten bucks an hour more than most any place else in town. I went into Donna’s office and after closing the door behind me took a seat and awaited what she had to say.

 

I figured it might be some extra work, or maybe her thanking me for getting everything caught up or maybe even her telling me I could leave early for the weekend but that isn’t what happened. She rummaged through her desk drawer then brought over a small, paper bag package and handed it to me. I opened the package and reached in to feel something slippery and silky then pulled the material out and noticed I was now holding a pair of ladies panties! They were full cut, white nylon briefs and very feminine all done up with lace and bows!

 

“What’s this!?” I questioned with a funny look on my face.

 

“Just a little something for you Dennis” she said with a smile. “I’d like you to start wearing them under your suit when you report for work. And don’t worry, I will pick up enough of these pretty, feminine panties to keep you properly dressed from Monday through Friday. You don’t have to pay me for them, consider them a bonus.” She said as she returned to her desk and took her seat.

 

I folded the panties and put them back in the bag. “I don’t think so Ms. Roberts.”

 

She didn’t like my apparent stubbornness.

 

“What did you say?” She said.

 

I repeated that I wasn’t about to wear women’s panties but she only giggled slightly as she continued.

 

“I told you this was traditionally women’s work didn’t I?” She said.

 

I said that I remembered that but continued on thinking she was joking. I got out of my chair saying I had work to finish before five o’clock but she replied by saying “you’re not dismissed yet! Pick up that package,” she said with a demanding tone. “Monday morning you will come to work and I will check to make sure you are properly dressed.”

 

I told her I wouldn’t do it! She then ended the argument.

 

“You’ll report to work on Monday wearing these panties under your suit or you’ll look for another job!” She said with authority.

 

She relaxed a bit by telling me it really wasn’t that big a deal and that I would get used to it.

 

“I just like knowing my little secretary is dressed just a little feminine underneath. And what’s the worry? Who’s going to know?” She finished, then said I could return to my work.

 

I didn’t know what to think! If I didn’t do what she said I would be out of a job and in a real jam! I quietly gathered up the package then left her office closing the door behind myself as I left.

 

I dreaded the following Monday morning. I got up, showered and got ready for work. I took my suit off the hanger and grabbed a fresh shirt and tie then noticed the package Donna had given me sitting on the dresser. With no way out at least for the moment I took the package, reached into it then took out the panties and began putting them on! I finished dressing as usual and then drove to work.

 

I entered the office and had just started for the coffee machine to make coffee when I heard Donna call me into her office. I entered the office and as I closed the door she was already moving towards me asking how my weekend was. She then moved in close and reached for my pants! I startled back. “Just relax now, I’m not going to bite!” She said as I stood there.

 

She reached over and holding my belt with one hand unzipped my pants with the other. She then reached in and felt the front of the panties I was indeed wearing. She felt the creamy smoothness and could feel the lace trim at the front and the little bows at the front of the lace trimmed legs.

 

“Feel good don’t they?” She said with a wicked smile as she felt me through the panties.

 

Just as she started to stroke my member I pulled back and she withdrew her hand and returned to her desk. I could feel my face redden with embarrassment as I quickly zipped back up then mentioned that I had coffee to make.

 

The morning went as usual until after lunch. Donna got back about a half hour late and after hanging up her coat she smiled and put another package on my desk as she left for her office. I could tell the package was from one of the local lingerie stores. I couldn’t believe she was serious but realized she was as soon as I looked inside and saw another dozen or so pairs of ladies panties! They were in several pastel shades and all the full cut type and all had lace and were adorned with appliques and other lacy trim and little bows. I quickly closed the package and put it in one of the desk drawers realizing that I would now be wearing panties to work every day! I was a bit sickened to see that the days of the week were embroidered on one set of the panties as well when I got them home and took them out of the package!

 

The next morning I was back in Donna’s office for inspection. She had me take my pants down this time and then rubbed her hands over the cool, slippery pink fabric.

 

“My, you seem to like the pink ones hummm?” She said with a giggle as she looked me over then pulled them up tight on my waist and squeezed and rubbed my bottom through the shiny nylon.

 

I asked how it could possibly matter which color I wore and she giggled, satisfied I was still following her orders.

 

“But there’s one thing though,” she said as she looked me over. “I’d like to have you start shaving,” she said as she saw the sparse but noticeable hair on my legs. I felt shocked!

 

“Shave?” I said with a gasp.

 

“Yes, you’ll look so much better in these when you are properly shaved,” she added as I pulled my pants back up.

 

“How much to I have to shave?” I asked in quiet terror.

 

“Everything silly!” She said with a giggle. “Tomorrow morning I will expect to see you nice and smooth all over without a hair below your eyebrows except for your ‘bikini cut’ down below” she giggled at allowing me to keep a little hair.

 

I pleaded with her to not make me do this but she was insistent! It was either that or get ready to start looking for another job with what most likely would be a menial labor one with a lot less pay! I quietly returned to my desk and finished out the day.

 

The next morning it was inspection time with Donna again in her office. This time she made me strip down to my socks and panties while she looked my now totally shaved body over! Later that day she called me in to her office once again and this time handed me several pairs of nude, support pantyhose! I knew what was next. Now in addition to wearing panties to work I would now be wearing women’s hosiery to work too! And the next day it was another inspection. Donna noticed my panties under the shiny nylon pantyhose as she fondled my now shaved and nyloned legs!

 

“Mmmmmmm, don’t they just feel delicious?” She said as she marveled at how the nylons shined in the light and how they felt under her hand as she rubbed the material against my legs! I started having second thoughts about continuing working for Donna and even though I needed the job I thought about just quitting while the quitting was good.

 

But as I finished pulling up my pants and tucking in my shirt once again Donna told me she was giving me a raise for my being a good secretary and such a good sport. She then handed me another package and told me how nice I would feel with a pedicure! Then once back at my desk I noticed the nail polish and other do-dads in the package!

 

The days went by and with the workload I found I actually forgot about the panties and pantyhose from time to time, just like Donna had said by saying “don’t worry, you’ll get used to them in no time.”

 

With another week came another feminine addition to my lingerie wardrobe, and then another, and another! The following Monday I was standing in Donna’s office before starting work while she looked me over once again. By now, she really had me decked out! I was wearing my panties and pantyhose complete with my now red nailed pedicure done up in a bright gloss red that showed through the toes of the stockings. She had also added a tight girdle briefer panty to my wardrobe and showed me how she wanted me to “tuck” myself so I wouldn’t show a bulge. Finally, she had me wear a pair of white nylon pants liners and finished the look with a matching, lace trimmed nylon camisole! I was now, underneath, totally dressed!

 

I begged her to let me take off the camisole saying the straps would show through my shirt but she wouldn’t have any of it! She said if I was worried I should start wearing T-shirts and / or keep my suit coat on at all times. I thought the next step was the last straw though because the following Monday, she brought a pair of high heels to work that were in my size!

 

The shoes were black patent leather pumps and Donna made sure to get a pair with open toes to show off my painted toe nails! I was grateful that most of our work was corporate and didn’t involve a lot of walk in traffic but I drew the line at wearing high heels and complained immediately!

 

“What are you doing to me Donna!?” I asked with a quizzical glare as I stared at her. But she only smiled with her usual air of authority knowing full well who was in control.

 

“I thought you said ‘who’ll know’ and that nobody could tell I was wearing ladies lingerie? If I wear these shoes around the office what happens when somebody comes in!?” I said in a terrified tone. “They’ll freak out!”

 

“Don’t worry!” She said. “You just get yourself a pair of loafers and keep them under your desk. Then, if someone comes into the office you can change shoes without them knowing.”

 

“But what about these nylons?” I said pointing to my ankles.

 

“Your pants are long enough, just put your dress socks in the drawer until you leave at night.”

 

She had it all figured out and even though I tried to argue further it did no good. Then she told me If I could learn to master the heels in a week she would give me another raise!

 

It became very strange almost surreal. She watched as I went back to my desk and took off my wingtips and black dress socks. My nyloned feet complete with red nail polish were now clearly evident! And worse now because I was stepping into women’s high heeled shoes! Donna smiled with satisfaction at seeing them on me.

 

She had to help me stand at first and giggled as I wobbled on the five inch stiletto heels as I moved around the office doing nothing more than trying not to fall. She had me continue to practice and coached me how to step until I started walking a little better. She then returned to her office. An hour later I heard her ask me to bring her in a fresh cup of coffee. I knew what she wanted, she wanted to see me mincing on the heels and did just that as I carefully made my way into her office with the hot coffee. Donna thanked me then watched as I teetered, the heels forcing my hips into a slight wiggle as I moved back to my desk. And that’s how it went.

 

As the days went by I would put on the high heels immediately after arriving to work and leave them on until my lunch break. After lunch however, it was back in the heels! The following Thursday I was just finishing putting away some files in the cabinet and walking back to my desk. It wasn’t five minutes later that a gentleman came into the office wanting to talk with Donna! I managed to slip out of the heels and put my new slip on loafers on and then escort the man in to see Donna! After he left I had to put the heels back on but I was shaken from the incident and complained to Donna about it.

 

She then said we were taking the next week off! I asked why and she replied “if you are worried about wearing the high heels we can do something about it so you won’t look or feel so out of place. And since you’re getting so good in walking in them it’ll be easy.” She said with another of her smiles and finished by telling me that I would be spending the entire week at her home.

 

I had an inkling of what was going to happen but not to the degree it happened! I threatened to quit and didn’t really care but Donna was insistent and with an even larger raise being offered I felt almost stuck somehow. The job wasn’t that hard, even in the heels but I knew after I was told the rest of Donna’s plan that I could never pull it off.

 

The first thing I was to do was pack up and move out of my apartment. I would be living with Donna now and after she was finished with me there would be no way I could really go back to my place anyway. Then the next week passed, and with the fifteen hour days and all the work it passed slowly! But soon it was Monday morning and the start of another work week.

 

I was terrified to get out of the car when we pulled up to the office but Donna insisted that I could make a go of it and that no one would even notice my changes. I was just the “new” secretary. I was nervous as I opened the car door and felt the click of my high heels as they hit the pavement. I took my purse and after leaving the car I made my way up the sidewalk with Donna. I could feel my new bust jiggling and feel the cool morning air swirling around my nyloned legs! And could hear the swish of my nylons brushing my calves and thighs with each step as I minced along in my tight, satin lined skirt on those five inch heels! I saw a few people moving about and driving past on the street but nobody pointed, or laughed or yelled out. I did notice a few women give me a passing glance as they went about their business and a few men looking me over as we made our way to the office door.

 

Once inside I was now the “new” secretary and would be known as Deborah. I hung my car coat up, set my purse on my desk then went about my regular duties by making coffee. Donna looked me over.

 

“Yes, you’re a proper little secretary now, very nice, very ladylike.” Then, issuing a satisfied smile she went into her office.

 

In being off for a week there was a lot of mail and paperwork to file and catch up on. I finished with the coffee then swished into Donna’s office to deliver her cup. She noticed me mincing on the heels, my shiny nylons swishing under my tight pencil skirt and my bust jiggling under my satin blouse as I set the cup on her desk.

 

“Thank you Deborah dear” she said as she casually went back to work.

 

“Yes ma’am” I replied as I returned to my duties.

 

I sat down at my typewriter and was glad that Donna didn’t have my salon nails made that long. This way they were short enough so I could still type. And I had a lot of correspondence to answer and a lot of typing to do. So I set to work. A couple hours later Donna left for downtown on a couple errands and I decided to stay through lunch to stay safe at the office on my first day totally dressed as a woman, and to get the extra work done.

 

I took phone calls, answered letters and did my filing as usual then noticed myself in the mirror at the new look Donna had helped to give me. I ran my hands over my feminized form and was astounded! She had dressed me from head to toe and from the skin out! She had gotten me a complete new wardrobe so I would be able to look like the perfect little feminine lady every day around the office. She had corseted my waist, and gotten me a well padded girdle that really widened my hips and rounded my bottom, and I could feel the weight and jiggle from the silicone breast forms that now sat snugly in the cups of my satin brassiere under my lacy, white nylon full slip and my blue, long sleeved satin blouse with high collar and large satin sash bow at the front.

 

My eyebrows had been plucked into a high and feminine arch now and my ears had been pierced. I could feel the gold hoops as they dangled against my neck from under my long hairdo that was now dyed a bright blonde and fixed in a feminine style that parted in the middle and feathered away from my face in large sweeping curls. I was slightly built and small in stature to begin with but looked nothing like a man anymore and any masculine nuances I had were now hidden by Donna’s intensive week long training session and any left over manly traces were now totally muted, covered up and totally concealed by the ladies clothing, hairstyle, makeup, perfume and jewelry.

 

The days and weeks passed. And although we had little walk in traffic, no one ever suspected that I was a man. They simply saw the name plate “Deborah” and behind the desk a feminine, shapely lady going about her secretarial duties as the scent of perfume hung in the air and the sound of swishing nylon echoed through the office whenever I moved in my seat or crossed my legs!



Nov 201520

A Guide to Electrolysis

frequently asked questions, how to guides
Those of us who feel that we have been born into the wrong body have a lot to cope with. Most of us, I suspect, suffer enormous mental, emotional and spirtual anguish from time to time, sometimes for years, even for life. No matter how early we learn the truth about ourselves, no matter how unmistakeable the evidence, no matter how determined we are to bring everything to the right conclusion, our situation inevitably involves what might best be decribed as psychic assault and battery. And then, having given that to us as our birthright, dear old mother nature adds insult to injury by allocating many of us not only the wrong sort of body, but a body that demands a great deal of transformation before we can begin to appear as the person we know we are. We can cope with most of it, of course: we can buy realistic false breasts and padding, or we can let hormones do the work for us. We can buy magnificient wigs, or we can grow our own hair long and let the experts decide the best way to wear it. We can get away with excessive height, by dressing carefully and by behaving with the confidence that comes from remembering that many women are tall. We can even learn how to modify our deep voice. And of course, we can enlist the skills of a surgeon to make some especially significant adjustments. Considering how effectively we can deal with so many apparently big physical problems, it's ironic how much difficulty is caused by something as delicate as a hair. Yet, for many of us, body and, particulary, facial hair is one of the most basic obstacles between us and what we seek to achieve. Of all the physical characterstics which are held to disguish man from woman, it is facial hair which is probably the most difficult to disguise. Some male bodies are blessed with the fairest and softest of hair types, but most are not. Anybody who needs a shave faces the problem, and those with dark hair face the greatest of difficulties of all. For a dark-haired male to female transsexual the problem is especially restricting. Even with the most skilled use of specialist make-up, Andrea knows that, in due course, people around her will be provided with unmistakable evidence that she started life as Andrew. And, if you are like me, "in due course" can mean as little as a couple of hours. The worry that my five o' clock shadow is only thinly covered by my foundation; that the wrong sort of light will disclose it no matter what I have used and how recently I applied it; and that the tell-tale tips of new-grown hairs will inevitable break the surface - all of this works on my confidence. When I should be experiencing life as the woman I know I should be and although I know I'm otherwise convincing, I need a lot of persuasion and the right light before I will venture outside my front door. Perhaps you will think that is a bit extreme. Perhaps not. I imagine though, that you will have experienced some, at least, of these concerns. Can the problems be overcome? Well, yes, it can. But it takes more than determination and money. If you want to get rid of facial and/or body hair, you also need information. There are many techniques on offer, not all of which are nearly as effective as those providing them would like us to believe - and some could actually be dangerous. Even among woman, for whom the different methods were devised, the specialists feel there is a great deal of ignorance. Even among experts there are disagreements. They cannot, for instance, even agree whether people who carry out the most effective treatments should be called electrolysists or electrologists. In using "electrologists" to describe them, I know i will be incurring the displeasure of a number of highly professional and dedicated people who prefer to be known by the other term. All I can offer to them are my apologies. What I can offer you, though, is a survey of the main methods of treatment now available, and the experts' assesments of them. I have spoken to scores of practitioners, all over the country, including very many who treat transvestites and transssexuals. What they have told me has encouraged me, I know how to beat my own problem and, as a result, I can look forward to the prospect of living life as I should. But I have also learned of the dangers and heard of people who have suffered badly from mistreatment. Whether you are undergoing treatment now for hair removal, whether you are planning it or whether you simply feel you might need it sometime in the future, this article is for you.  
  How does hair grow? To understand how the diffrent treatments work (or don't!) what the hazards are, why they cost what they do, and why you may have to be patient indeed, you need to know something about what hair is and how it grows. This is not an excuse to give you a science lesson and it certainly won't get technical. We all need to get into the complexities of the structure of the skin - there are plenty of books available if you want to do so yourself - but the basics are farly simple. The starting point is that, of all the organs of the body, your skin is the largest. If, like me, you have always assumed that the main purpose of skin was to stop the blood from leaking out, this may come as something of a surprise. It is far more important than that, as its relative size suggests. In fact it has a number of functions without which you would be in considerable trouble, and just as you can damage your liver by drinking too much alcohol, you can harm your skin by treating it badly. It pays to understand it. It has three main layers, although each have lesser layers within them, and the layer at the surface (the "epidermis") is flexible, but tough. Like all parts of the body, it is made up of cells and, as the ones at the surface die, they flake off and are replaced by other cells from the layer below. The two layers beneath the eperdermis (the "dermis" and the "subcutis") contain an extensive and remarkable network of nerve fibres, blood vessels, fat cells and glands of different sorts, all set in a web of body tissue. Among the functions this very complex organ performs for you are the maintenance of your body temperature; protection (against blows, harmful light and bacteria); the disposal of material which could be harmful to your body; and the detection of sensation - heat, cold,pressure, pain, pleasure and touch. Your skin varies over your body. It is thinnest on the lips and eyelids, thickest on the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet. In some places - armpits and forehead, for instance - it has more sweat glands. And in some places, too, it produces more hair than in others. The surface of the skin has a very large number of openings. They are not so much punctures in the skin as places where the surface layer funnels down into lower layers for one reason or another. To provide a sweat gland with access to the surface, for instance; sweat glands produce a moisture, as we all know. When this moisture reaches the surface of the skin though one of the special ducts, the heat from which we are suffering evaporates it, and the process of evaporation cools the body. The skin produces about two pints of sweat every day in normal circumstances. Another sort of funnel contains the hair. It is called a "follicle" and this is one of the few technical terms you will need to remember for the rest of the article. There is a diagram which shows, in a very simplified way, the way in which the hair itself and the folicle are arranged. A very important companion of the follicle is the sebaceous gland. Whenever you find a hair follicle, you will usually find a sebaceous gland, but not the other way round. Sebaceous glands make a substances called "sebum" which reaches the skin through the follicle opening. Sebum is a lubricant and conditioner which works on the scalp, the skin and on the hair itself. Without sebum, they would deterioriate. They exist in the skin on every part of the body except the palms and soles and they reach their heaviest concentration in the face. Every hair has its origin in a sebaceous gland but not every sebaceous gland always produces a hair. Because of their importance to the condition of your skin, it is obviously crucial that any action you take against the hair itself does not damage the sebaceous gland. The structure of the hair needs also to be understood because this holds the key to the way it can be attacked. The hair shaft is the part of the hair above the surface of the skin. The part below the surface, lying in the part of the follicle, is the hair root. At the base of the root is a slightly swollen part, called the bulb and there is an indentation in the underside of the bulb which contains the papilla. The papilla is also very important when it comes to destroying the hair. The whole folicle is served by a system of blood vessels and nerves, and also by its own muscle. As you will note from the diagram, hairs usually grow at an angle to the surface of the skin. In certain circumsatnces - fear and coldness for instance - the muscle comes into action and pulls at the base of the hair so that it can be dragged upright. This is what we call hair "standing up on end", and it is also the explanation for goose flesh or bumps. It is the bulb and the papilla which are responsible for the growth of the hair, after receiving a trigger from the hormones in their blood supply. In due course each hair regenerates naturally, and falls out. The bulb and the papilla then rest, before receiving a further hormone signal and starting the growth of new hair. Specialists who treat hair have a number of names for the different types or stages of hair growth. We need to know only three. "Vellus" hairs are soft, downy and fine, and you will find them on most parts of your body. The hairs you will see on the face and arms of young women, for instance, will almost certainly be vellus hairs. You will sometimes see these described as "lanugo" hairs, which are actually the hairs which grow on babies in the womb, and which they usually lose quite soon after birth. "Terminal" hairs are far tougher and much more noticeable. Women have them on the scalp, under the armpits and in the genital area. The distribution of terminal hair on men is usually, as we know and despair, much more widespread and usually includes the face. The other sort of hair we need to know about is the "regrowth" hair. We will return to it later. As you would imagine, hormones play a very important part in the growth and distribution of hair. The male androgens, and particularly testosterone, are very powerful stimuli for hair growth and are especially responsible for the growth of tough, terminal hairs on the face. In women, the female oestrogen hormones are normally able to outweigh the effect of the testosterone in their bodies, so that terminal hair will usually be found on their scalp under their armpits and in their genital area. Sometimes, however, this balance is not maintained and they may find terminal hair growing in embarassing places - on the face, for instance, and sometimes around the nipples. This is often one of the effects of the menopause or "change of life", which women experience in their forties and fifties. But all sorts of other factors, including emotional stress,can upset the hormonal balance; and professional beauty therapists believe that most women, at some time in their lives, feel a need to get rid of unwanted facial or body hair. The methods, techniques and practice of hair removal described here, therefore, been developed for use on women. They are, of course, available also for men; but it is important to bear in mind that the technique for permanent removal starts off with an assumption about the relative androgen and oestrogen levels in the person being treated which will not apply to physical males - unless that is, you take special steps to counteract your own overwhelming testosterone levels. To find out more about the different methods, both temporary and permanent, I have spoken to many practitioners, most of them beauty therapists. I will refer to them mainly by their first names. I have also been greatly helped by Julie, who is course director for the beauty therapy courses at one of the country's top colleges of arts and technology. And I have talked also to Margaret, Clinic Manager of the Albany Clinic, which specialises in treatment and care of transvestites and transsexuals. If you want to follow up your interest in this subject, I would especially recommend a book called "Principles and Techniques for the Electrologist", on which I have also drawn for this article. It is written by Ann Gallant, who was a lecturer responsible for beauty therapy at two colleges of arts and technology, and is published by Stanley Thomas (Publishers) Ltd.  
  Are These Methods Effective? Methods of getting rid of hair permanently are called "epilation", while temporary methods are called "depilation". We will start with the temporary methods of depilation. They appeal to many people because they are often quite simple and can be performed by the person who needs the treatment. But are they safe? And are they effective? The most obvious method is shaving. For women this is one of the most commonly used methods, especially for legs. They are, however, treating vellus hair, whereas a man will usually have to contend with terminal hairs. There is some uncertainty about whether, as Margaret says, "the more you shave, the more it stimulates the growth", but she would probably agree with Rosemary that "it doesn't really have any detrimental effect. It's an old wives' tale that it damages the hairs". Julie, however, has an explanation for why the growth of hair often looks worse after shaving; "usually your hair has a nice tapered end, so if you're shaving the hair you're going to get a blunt edge on it... so it looks darker or coarser as it grows through". You have only to remember that the hair usually grows at an angle to the skins surface; your razor will not be simply be chopping it straight across, but slicing at an angle, leaving a bigger cross-section showing. There seems to be no reason, then, why you shouldn't shave your unwanted hairs away - you won't do them any damage or actually make the regrowth coarser. Most of us, however, could find several reasons why shaving is no real answer. For body hair it has to be done too often to be practical, and there are dangers of inflicting cuts, which make it clear to everyone what you have been doing. And, of course, for facial hair it is only the most temporary of solutions. It is likely, though, that shaving will toughen the skin; dragging a razor across it regularly will inevitably produce both friction and pressure, which tends to lead to a thicker skin layer. It is interesting that electrologists will often recommend to their clients that they use sharp scissors instead of a razor, once treatment has started. If you are a transvestite who likes occasionally to look as convincing as possible but has no interest at all in dressing full time, shaving may be a very convenient, cheap and private way of dealing with a short-term problem. For a transsexual, however, it is less likely to be satisfactory. Plucking Another method that is cheap, simple and private is plucking, using tweezers to pull the hair out. It is a method many women use on their eyebrows. But says Julie, "tweezing out the hair on a facial area is not a good idea". Marian says: "I really don't recommend it. It produces infection sometimes and it can distort the hair". And "it's very painful, apart from anything else, especially on a large area - and very difficult", adds Margaret. Nobody i have spoken to recommends plucking at all. Many beauty therapists raised fears that trying to pull hairs out by the roots with tweezers would only succeed in breaking off the hair and damaging the root. At the moment there are three systems of permanent hair removal, by electroysis, in use at the moment in beauty salons in Britain. In all of them a very fine needle is inserted into the follicle and electrical power is used to disrupt the bulb and the papilla. The skill required of the practitioner is remarkable. Few untrained eyes, I suspect, would be able to identify a regrowth hair which might then be crooked, making it very difficult indeed to treat permanently by any method, including plucking. Waxing A much less dangerous method of removing hair temporarily is by waxing. The basic technique is to seize a lot of hair on one area of skin simultaneously by applying something sticky in the direction of the hair growth, and then removing them all at once by pulling sharply in the other direction. Done properly, this will usually remove the hair roots. But, of course, there will still be some regrowth in due course because the papilla will still be in place. There are three main ways of using wax. There are prewax strips, intended mainly for home use, which you buy in a box. You remove a backing sheet, stick the strip on in the direction of growth, and pull it off like an elastoplast. Women use this method on their legs but rarely elsewhere. The advantages are that it is quite cheap, and you do not need any special equipment. Cool waxing works in much the same way, except that you apply a sticky honey wax thinly on the leg, then put a paper or muslin strip on it and pull it off in the same way as with pre-waxed strips. Hot waxing involves heating a mixture of beeswax and resins to about 60 degrees and spreading it thickly on the leg. When it has set, gripping the hairs, you yank it off in the same way as in the other two methods. "it is said to be more effective than cool waxing," says Julie, "but we've done a lot of tests with clients in which we do one leg with hot and the other with cool, and we haven't seen much difference. But with very strong hair, you have perhaps got a better grip." Beauty salons will usually offer both hot and cool waxing, and it is possible to buy kits for use at home. Cool wax has to be disposed of after use, but it is possible to filter the hairs from hot wax, and re-use it. Many salons refuse to do this, however, because there is a danger of cross-infection; if you are going to be the sole user of a home hot waxing kit, filtering would not present the same kind of problem. An advantage of waxing is that the effect should last for three or more weeks, until regrowth occurs, and then, of course, you might find eventually that the regrowth hairs were less course and noticeable. A disadvantage is the pain which these methods inevitably involve. Much will depend on your own pain threshold, of course, but it is worth remembering that successful treatment of an area such as a leg will need several applications of wax or prewaxed strip. One beauty therapist from Essex said she would consider using the waxing on some body areas in treating a transsexual. Waxing is not, however, an option on the face. Creams Nor are most depilatory creams, which are probably the second most popular method of home treatment. "Immac" is perhaps the best known brand, although there are a number of others. There are some types designed for facial use but it seems very doubtful if these would be able to cope with male facial hair. They work by a chemical reaction with the hair at the point that it leaves the follicle and, says Julie, their effect may last a little longer than shaving or plucking. There are dangers, however; "Because they're quite a strong chemical product, the skin might react to them. So you're actually destroying the surface layer of the skin if you leave them on too long." That is why you're always advised to do a patch test when trying a new depilatory cream or treating a new area of skin. The time recommended by the manufacturers for you to leaving it on the skin is obviously related to its use by a women - a man might need to leave it on a little longer but not much. Margaret believes that there is a danger with these creams that their frequent use will result in a stronger hair growth in time, while Julie points out that they do tend to smell a bit unpleasant, despite the makers' attempt to mask the chemical smell with some other fragrance. Having said that, chemical depilatories - which comes as creams in tubes or jars, or as aerosol sprays - will often appear to be the best method available to transsexuals or transvestites for regular use. They are not, however, a permanent method of hair removal.  
  Transgender ResourcesEverything You Need to Know About Hair Removal, By C Dawson Threading There is one other, and in this country very unusual, method of temporary hair removal. It's called "threading" and it is used quite commonly in Middle and Far Eastern countries. It is impossible to describe, but involves a piece of thread with a loop in it, one end of which is put in the mouth. The thread is then drawn in and out of the hairs, which are then removed - "very like a mass plucking," says Julie. "It's wonderful to see it done." Electrolysis The only available method of permanent hair removal - epilation - is electrolysis. This, as you would imagine, involves the use of electricity and, to be fully effective, it must not only remove the hair from the follicle but must also disrupt the papilla in some way, so that it is no longer capable of producing regrowth hairs. At the same time, it must not cause lasting damage to the follicle itself, and especially to the sebaceous gland. There are several techniques which have been developed over the years, and we'll examine each of them. Before we do, we should look at one method which is sometimes thought to be a technique of epilation - permanent hair removal - but which, says Ann Gallant, "is not currently considered by the electrology profession to give the proven results neccessary to class it as a method of permanent hair removal." This is the tweezer method (not to be confused with plucking, where no electrical power is used). It's known as "Depilex", which suggests that it manufacturers, recognise it as a method of temporary hair removal. Because of superficial similarity between this equipment and other types intended for true electrolysis, there is sometimes confusion about the lasting effects of this method. It operates by gripping a hair with a special pair of tweezers as it leaves the follicle and passing a strong enough current through to destroy it. The theory is that the current will be carried through the hair to the papilla, which will then be incapable of producing regrowth hair. Ann Gallant, however, believes that the current tends to be dispersed on the surface, via the moisture and oils on the skin, and says, that "permanent results have not yet been achieved" by this method. None of the specialists I spoke to would recommend it in preference to any of the main techniques of electrolysis, but some felt that, as a method of temporary hair removal, it might be as effective as shaving or depilatory creams, although probably not as effective as waxing. There was also the fear that, in the hands of an experienced operator, it could result in some burning of the skin. At the moment there are three systems of permanent hair removal, by electrolysis, in use at the moment in beauty salons in Britain. In all of them a very fine needle is inserted into the follicle and electrical power is used to disrupt the bulb and the papilla. The skill required of the practitioner is remarkable. Few untrained eyes, I suspect, would be able to identify a follicle opening, even using a magnifying lamp. Electrologists locate the opening, identify the direction in which the hair is growing, insert the needle and judge precisely how deep it needs to go before applying the electrical power. They then remove the hair. They can work at speed; Rosemary reckoned to work normally at 100 hairs in fifteen minutes (or one hair every nine seconds!) but has achieved twice that number. "The main thing," says Julie,"is the depth, because you can go too far and go straight through and cause a blood spot; and obviously won't get an effective treatment. And then you have to judge how much current to use, because the stronger the hair is, the higher the current you may need." It is worth at noting this point that there are "home electrolysis kits" which are offered for sale, usually through mail order, for about thirty pounds. The instructions for the one I bought come on a sheet no bigger than an A4 page. These are the full instructions given for inserting the needle (or stylet tip) into the follicle. "Note the angle of hair growth and gently insert stylet tip along underside of hair and into the follicle using a downwards pressure (sideward will bend the tip). In the beginning it may take a few tries to locate the follicle so tip enters easily, but you will become proficient sooner than you think. The stylet tip floats on a spring cushion, thus cannot pierce or break the skin; it can only locate and slide into the follicle. Good lighting is imperative and a magnifying mirror is helpful." Constrast with the training Julie insists her students should have "We give them them about 300 hours practice, and a lot of it is spent initially on each other, using a needle without current."Marian says of home electrolysis kits "Diabolical! There's a real danger of scarring. Correct probing is absolutely crucial. You need plenty of training." The warning about scarring stems from the fact that, if you release the current before the needle tip has reached the bulb and the papilla, you may well burn the upper layer of the skin or the surface itself. If you are considering whether it is worth buying a home kit, consider how you would cope with hair you cannot see very easily and, if you are right handed, how effective your left hand would be in treating your right arm... Back, though, to the three main methods of permanent hair removal. For simplicity, I am calling all three of them "electrolysis," although technically only one should actually carry that label. The oldest is the galvanic method. It uses a discharge of electricity to produce a chemical reaction at the base of the bulb; the sodium hydrochloride which is formed is an alkali which destroys both the attachment of the hair to its follicle and the ability of the follicle to develop regrowth. Galvanic electrolysis is slower than the diathermic method, but it probably results in less regrowth and, therefore, not so much need to return to treat the same follicle again. Diathermic electroysis uses a short wave diathermic current which destroys the hair root through heat. It takes far less time for each hair, but because the needle has to be positioned with far greater accuracy, it is not so immediately effective as the galvanic method. Far more hairs can be treated in any one session and that will result in a sense of far greater progress; but, in fact, it is far less likely that any one insertion will result in permanent destruction of the hair. It may take a number of treatments before that has taken place. Recently a new system has been introduced. Called "The Blend", it combines both galvanic and diathermic methods, and it is claimed to have the permanence of one technique and the speed of the other. Those beauty therapists who have used The Blend seem very enthusiastic, although several have said that they will keep their previous system, as it may still be more appropiriate for some clients. Although much more effective than any other methods available at the moment, none of the three techniques is without its problems, no matter how skilled the operator, as many beauty therapists have told me. The galvanic system may result in some of the alkali it produces being left at the base of the follicle, for instance. However, there are side effects. Electroysis is painful, although much will depend on your own pain threshold. But nobody I have spoken to is in any doubt that there is a possibility of a great deal of pain involved. Not, as Julie explains, "from the insertion of the needle, because you're not actually breaking through skin or anything else.", but the electrical power produces heat and that causes a sensation like "a short jab, the pain of which depends on the sensitivity of the area you are working on." As one authoritative American study, "Electroysis, Thermolysis and the Blend," puts it; "The goal of the electrologists is to work as closely to the pain threshold as possible, employing the maximum amount of current that the client can comfortable take. The higher a client's threshold level, the greater the intensity of current we can use, thereby shortening the length of time needed to treat any follicle." A threshold level is defined as "the degree of pain sensation beyond which the intensity of pain becomes consciously uncomfortable or intolerable," and it varies from person to person, from day to day and from body area to area.  
  Electroysis nearly always produces a certain amount of inflammation and redness on the area of the skin treated through this, too, will vary ftrom person to person. But "redness and swelling rarely lasts longer than thirty minutes to two hours." The more sensitive the skin, the longer. Younger people show more effects. It's common, especially with a lot of growth. This can provide problems for any client, but especially for a man. It may be difficult to arrange the frequent treatment you would need at times which would allow you to keep out of sight until the redness and inflammation disappears although, according to one specialist, "only an electrologist would notice." A similar problem arises from the fact that an electrologist needs a certain length of hair growth before she can work on it. Not only does she need to grip it with tweezers, after treatment, to remove it; but she will neither be able to locate the follicle nor to determine the direction in which the hair is growing without some growth. How much? "You need at least twenty four hours growth to enable the tweezers to grip. But as the treatment proceeds and you get regrowth hair, it becomes less noticeable." As you might expect, this puts dark haired people at a disadvantage, but there are compensations; "Dark hairs are easier to see, depending on the colour of the skin. Blonde hairs can be a pair in the neck." That's obviously not a joke! Time and money If you are considering money, treatment by electrolysis - and is really is the only possibility for dark-haired transsexuals, for instance - then you have to be prepared for frequent treatment over a long period of time. The normal pattern seems to be one session a week of about an hour, and some people arrange two sessions a week. As the treatment continues, and the amount of regrowth hair increases, it might be possible to have less frequent sessions. And you must be able to continue for at least eighteen months and, more probably two years - or even more. It is expensive, too. Depending on where you live, and where the salon is situated , you will be paying no less than £20 an hour and, very probably, in excess of £30 or £35. Although that sounds - and is - a great deal of money, especially when added up over the entire length of the treatment, you are paying for a very high degree of skill and experience. Some electrologists operate a home visiting service, which might be more convenient for you and also cheaper - the cost of their travel might be significantly less than the rent and rates for a high street salon. And, if you are seeing a psychiatrist as part of your gender reassignment treatment, you may be able to arrange for much cheaper electrolysis, as it can be available on the National Health Service. Beware, though! Fees paid by the Health Authority to the electrologists who work for them are often very low. So you will either get superb treatment from someone who is doing it because of social commitments or you could be in the hands of someone who is far less experienced or skilled. Go for the best Wherever you seek your treatment, you must go for the best possible. "Electrolysis is a very demanding and difficult technique and unfortunately there are too many people carrying out treatment who are not really adept. I have met many cases of people with redness and swelling that has taken over twenty-four hours to subside, and this should not be. As a result of poor treatment, carried out ineffectively over a period of two years, I myself took up electrolysis..." and discovered, says this specialist, that many apparently qualified people are not actually very good electrologists. Julie says that it is best to go on the reputation of the salon or practitioner, but reminds us this might actually be based on their skill at, say, make-up. Her advice to women is to visit the salon for something else - a manicure, perhaps - and weigh up its standards of cleanliness and general professionalism; and, of course, to seek recommendations from friends. This is less easy for a man, especially one as self conscious as many transsexuals tend to be. However, if you have a female friend in whom you can confide, she should be able to do some research on your behalf. Otherwise, you could approach one of the professional bodies - like the Insitute of Electrolysis - and ask for their advice. Hormone treatment There is one form of treatment which, used as as a preparation for and simultaneously with electrolysis, should make life a great deal easier for transsexuals in particular. This is a hormone treatment, and it is provided by the Albany Clinic, whose manager, Margaret, explained to me how it works. "It contains an anti-androgen which works against the testosterone (the male hormone)."As we mentioned earlier, in most young women their own oestrogens outweigh the effects of the testosterone in their own system and one of the results is very little terminal hair growth. When this balanced is disturbed, as at the menopause, they may start to show a pattern of hair growth which one associates with men. The Albany Clinic's hormone treatments seek to do the opposite by treatment with female hormones. There are two ways in which this is used. "There is a cream which is used on the areas where you want to get rid of the hair, mainly the face and chest area. It's applied normally twice daily, in the morning and evening." This treatment results in less strong growth, with finer and usually fairer hairs. The cream is sold commercially, but the hormone level is relatively low. A stronger cream is available but only on prescription issued by one of the medical specialists who are associated with the Clinic. The other form of this treatment is also available only on prescription. This is a drug which is swallowed and which has its effect over the whole of the body (although it does not make any difference to the hair on the scalp, in the genital area or under the armpits). It has a stronger effect than the cream and it is usually prescribed as part of the process of gender reassignment. Professional electrologists recommend this treatment highly for transsexuals. "It's very important that people should have been on oestrogen treatment before electrolysis." "Do try to get hormone treatment before you start electrolysis." "Hormone treatment is advisable - taken orally preferably. The hormones remove the desire of the hair to be there." "There are no problems with treating male hair if they're on hormone treatment... One client hadn't had any hormones, and electrolysis wasn't really having any effect." Although the cost of hormone treatment is likely to be fairly heavy, it may well cut the overall cost of the electrolysis - because finer, softer hairs are easier to treat and the whole process will probably be completed more quickly and with less pain and discomfort of the treatment - because the electrologist may be able to use a weaker current than would otherwise be necessary.  
  The future Looking to the future, what treatments may be on the horizon? Many practitioners feel that laser technology may have something to offer. The practitioners will still need to be highly skilled, though, so long as the basic method involves targeting the papilla accurately, whether with a fine needle or a laser beam). From Australia comes news of a drug treatment which has been developed for women suffering from excessive terminal facial hair at the menopause. It is called spironolactone, and it is said to have two effects; it reduces the production of the male hormone and it reduces or prevents the effects of testosterone on the papilla. If so, it is claimed, it might stop the growth of facial hair. The treatment is given in tablet form and it is said to take two to three months before there is a visable improvement with the maximum effect showing after nine to twelve months. Spironolactone has been available for some years but its use in the treatment of unwanted hair growth is very recent and it needs emphasising that nobody has yet had a chance to evaluate possible long-term side effects. And, so far, it seems to have been used only on women; it might have a totally different effect on men. For the foreseeable future, the various forms of electrolysis seem certain to offer transsexuals and transvestites the best and, indeed, the only form of permanent treatment, especially when carried out in parellel with hornmone treatment. it will remain a costly, long uncomfortable and difficult process, which should only be embarked upon seriously and with commitment. How to set about it If you have made the decision that you need electrolysis and are determined to carry it through, how do you set about it? The best way, as we have already suggested, is to ask a female who understands you and is supportive, to find out whether any of her friends have had electrolysis treatment, and, if so, who they recommend. If that draws a blank, she may be able to identify a salon which has a high reputation generally, and which offers a service of electrolysis. There are also professional bodies, whose members have to meet certain standards and which will be glad to put you in touch with a local member who will advise you. You can feel some confidence about the professional standards of people offering electrolysis who belong to one of these organisations. You need have no hesitation in approaching a professional electrologist or beauty salon. They may not feel able to accept you for treatment, but they will not be surprised by your inquiry. Phone them, explain simply and straight forwardly why you need electrolysis, and ask if they would be prepared to meet you to discuss the possibility. They will understand why you expect them to be discreet, and they will be. If they feel unable to help you, thank them anyway and ask if they can recommend anybody else you might approach. Caring people One of the most rewarding aspects of the preparation of this article has been the contact it has allowed me with some exceptionally caring people. Not all electrologists are prepared to treat transsexuals or transvestites, but many are. Ann and Patricia, electrologists in different parts of the country, are typical of many of their colleagues. "I get on with them very well. I feel they need the treatment and shouldn't be turned down. Somebody must help them... I feel very strongly about that." "They've got to be helped. At least they know I'm there, to talk to... I just treat them as people... they ask for advice about what they should wear..." "I have a laugh with my clients, chat them up... they tell me things about themselves... they can't help feeling the way they are... you've got to be understanding and sympathetic, and see them the way they are." "I just want to help them." That sort of sensitivity is more widespread than you might think. Perhaps it's because most of the work of electrologists stems from the overlap between what are seen as male and female characteristics. And maybe, too, as the practitioners in the "beauty industry," they are more than usually aware of how important it is for people to look the way they feel. It is sensitivity and a sympathy that should not be abused. Most of them do understand that many of us, for much of the time, live in a sort of emotional turmoil, and that we are faced with some of the most unenviable decisions imaginable. This is no excuse for taking our problems out on people who are prepared to take us seriously; and yet many speak of one arkward client with which they or a colleague have had to cope. One practitioner from the Midlands has been particularly annoyed by the casualness with which some transsexuals have treated her. She had three or four enquires in a short time and went to great lengths to arrange convienient appointments, even sending her assistant off the premises to ensure complete discretion. Then the callers have not turned up or even bothered to phone a cancellation. She is still prepared to consider treating transsexuals but one can hardly blame her for wondering whether it is worth it. Each wasted appointment cost her, and her assistant money. Some prefer not to treat transvestites. Several electrologists have told me that they find transsexuals far more confident, far more convinced and commited to their treatment. And, as one from East Anglia asked, "If a transvestite actually wants to remain a man, why does he want hair removal?" It's not, she assures me, that she has anything against transvestites; she just doesn't see the point of electrolysis for them. "I worry about the inconsistency," Many will allow totally convincing transsexuals or transvestites to come for treatment dressed. They understand the need to do so, especially for transsexuals. But they expect us to understand their needs and to recongise our responsibility towards them. Put simply, we can lose them a large number of clients and a lot of credibility if we let them down. They say; "I will only let full-time transsexual people to come dressed." "Its OK for them to come dressed, but not to cause embarrasment to other clients and staff." "Presentable appearance is OK but nothing kinky." "If other patients know you are treating transvestites you could lose a lot of them." These comments are from the North, the South Coast, and from the home counties. The AIDS scare has obviously not helped at all. Many people wrongly assume that transvestism and transsexualism are just forms of homosexuality. Most electrologists understand that they are not, but that does not matter to their clients. "I treat both transsexuals and transvestites," says one practitioner, from Lancashire, "but subject to our own approval of their hygeine and general behaviour during treatment." And who can blame her? And, although many electrologists will point out that Hepatitis B has been a menace for far longer than AIDS and that they are trained thoroughly to avoid any risk they, too, might feel themselves in danger from a dubious client. For that reason, some will accept transsexuals or transvestites only if they have been referred by a doctor or a gender identity clinic. Do not be surprised if the electrologist you approach for treatment asks for your doctor's name, address and phone number first. Ready to help So what is the overall message? That permanent hair removal is difficult and demanding; but it can be achieved, and there are many highly professional and caring people ready to help you. They will be prepared to help you if you show them you are serious and that will almost certainly involve hormone treatment. For that reason, permanent removal may be a less appealling option for transvestites, for whom there still remain many effective methods of getting rid of unwanted hair temporarily. If you are certain enough within yourself that you need treatment for permanent removal of facial and body hair, there is no reason why you should not succeed.

Nov 201520

Applying foundation and concealer

frequently asked questions, how to guides
Firstly, I would recommend that you cleanse and moisturise your skin (or at least moisturise) and wait a few minutes for the moisturiser to be absorbed. The following tips are for liquid or crème foundations. (For 2in1, or crème to powder compact type foundation, use a damp sponge and start by applying and blending from the eyes and T-zone outwards, similar to the steps below). I usually start by dotting foundation in the areas I think need it most, before blending it in with a damp makeup sponge… Start around the eye area and blend outwards. (I tend not to put foundation on very heavily these days.) The aim is to cover flaws and even-out skin tone, but still see your skin. Make sure you blend the foundation well and don’t forget to bring it down over your jawbone onto your neck. Don’t forget to blend it into your hairline.  
  I usually apply concealer after foundation, the “old school” always applied it before but I find it is more effective after foundation, as long as you take care to blend it well. If you have one of the light reflecting concealers, now is the time to apply it. (Details of how to choose a good concealer will follow…) Before you set your foundation, (with a loose powder,) make sure there are no “creases” in the base, usually round the eyes or mouth. Smooth them out with your sponge and powder straight away. Using a powder puff, apply the powder by gently pressing it into the skin, be liberal with it, and concentrate on the eyes and creases around the nostrils. Then, using a large powder brush, dust off the excess powder in a “downward and outwards” motion. Take care to dust in any crevices too!! e.g. around the nostrils… Voila!!!!  
  If you think of a basic colour wheel, the colours that are opposite each other effectively cancel each other out. When choosing a concealer, remember that the dark circles under the eyes have actually a blue tinge, therefore you need a concealer with a very slight hint of pink/orange to counteract the blue. The amount of colour in the concealer should only be enough to counteract the blueness; you should be left with a neutral tone once the two colours have cancelled each other out. The texture of your concealer is vital too. It should not be too heavy and should not “sit” in the creases of your skin. It should be silky smooth, creamy and light. This, I am afraid comes at a cost. I have yet to find a good, cheap concealer. I always test the texture of a concealer on the back of my hand. It has to blend easily and cover smoothly, if it instantly sits in the creases of my skin, I won’t buy it. If you are covering a blemish that is inflamed, or you have a ruddy complexion, this may sound bizarre, but add a tiny bit of green to your concealer and you will make those red blotches disappear. Most makeup ranges carry so-called “colour correctors” (A tip here is to buy a relatively cheap colour corrector as it is used in such small quantities it should not affect the qualities of your base.) Once applied to your blemish, blend the edges of the concealer with your makeup sponge. I know this all may sound rather in depth and complicated but I can assure you it will be well worth trying!

Nov 201520

Luscious Lips

frequently asked questions, how to guides
Lipstick is often the least thought about part of a persons make-up. Colour applied properly to your lips can make them as stunning and sensual as the rest of you, but if inexpertly applied nothing is more certain to look a mess! Lipstick applied to unprepared, dry or cracked lips will not give the best effect, so the place to start is with the actual skin of the lips. The fine tissue covering the lip area is not naturally supplied with body oils like the rest of the skin. This means that windy, cold, or even very sunny weather affects the moisture levels in your lips causing dryness, cracking, flaking and sometimes coldsores. All these problems can be minimised by keeping the bare lips moisturised and protected by applying a rich lip barm morning and night, makiing sure you have smoothed it well into the outline area and facial skin around the mouth. When combatting the effects of strong sunlight (or sunbed treatment), use a balm with a sun screen or block to protect your lips from ageing caused by ultra-violet rays. Your soft, moisturised lips are now ready to prepare for colour. lsips2.jpgPreparation has more than one advantage. Not only does it give you a good base on which to apply a defined outline for a professional appearance, but also sets your lipstick for a longer lasting finish with minimal colour bleeding onto surrounding facial skin. Start off by patting on a small amount of foundation onto your closed and relaxed mouth. Allow a few seconds to dry, or lightly dust with face powder to set foundation. You are now ready to choose your colour. It should complement your outfit and the rest of your make-up. A poorly matched colour looks just as out of place as a poorly applied colour. The colour you choose should be influenced by the outfit you will be wearing and also the rest of your make-up, your blusher in particular. Pink base colours and brown base colours should be kept seperate. Using pinks for pink, blue, purple, red and grey based outfits, and browns for yellow, brown, green, orange and beige based outfits is a good guide to bear in mind for all cosmetics.  
  lip3.jpgWhen you have chosen your colour, applying it to your lips is easy to do with confidence. Outline your lips with a fine line of colour using a matching lip pencil or a good quality lip brush (using plenty of lipstick on the brush for smoother brush strokes). If you have thin lips, a fuller more sensual look can be achieved by drawing the outline just outside the natural lip line, tapering the line into the corner of the mouth in the natural lip line position. If your lips are wide, make your mouth look pursed by outlining short of the corners and allowing the foundation applied in preparation to cover the uncoloured lip area. Very full lips can be made to look thinner by outlining lips just inside the natural lip line, taking the line to the full width of the mouth, again leaving foundation to mask the uncovered areas. To fill in the defined lip area, use a good quality lip brush taking small amounts of lipstick onto the brush to minimise usage and thickness of of application, and maximise lip crease infill. Remember, it is easier to 'not enough' than it is to take 'too much' off again! For maximum staying power dab the first application with tissue (not a lot of pressure or too much will be removed) and set with powder, followed by a second coat of colour. For an extra boost to luscious lipsplace a small amount of lip gloss to the center of the bottom lip, being careful not to take it to the outline to avoid bleeding. And that's it! Enjoy your Luscious Lips!

Nov 201520

The Other Side of the Coin

short story

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN

  Many of our Transgender Life features here tell of understanding wives. Unfortunately, such reactions are not always the ones encountered. Here, an anonymous wife of a transvestite gives a point of view that may be all too familiar... The marriage guidance people suggested I wrote down my feelings about everything that's happened. I don't think it'll do any good, but I'm not going to be accused of not trying.   My God, I've tried to understand. I've tried to forgive, but every time he comes anywhere near me he gives me the creeps. To think I married him and I loved him and trusted him and he's done this to me. You think you know someone and suddenly one day it all pops out. I daren't tell even my best friend about it. It all makes me feel so dirty and used. When I got married I wasn't entirely inexperienced, if you see what I mean, but even so, my mother thought she could pass on a bit of advice. You know the sort of things mothers go on about. Share the job. Don't become a drudge or a mat for him but try to have some common interests. It puzzled me when she went on about men's foibles, I presumed she was going on about sex but Bill and I had always enjoyed it. He wasn't fantastic but he was understanding and frankly I'd assumed if one of us was going to stray, it would have been me. Different For weeks I'd half noticed something different about him. I wasn't sure what it was but now I've decided it was he didn't walk about the house naked any more. We're not nudists or anything but when we come out of the shower and are getting dressed, we're not shy about our bodies. Suddenly, he became shy about this. It was odd rather than disturbing. I began to peek at him when he didn't think I was looking. I found it a bit of a turn-on but he was strangely reluctant until the lights were out.   The fateful Saturday he was getting dressed when I saw those marks on his body. They looked vaguely familiar, but I innocently asked him what they were, conversation as much as anything. His reaction was startling. He blushed in embarrassment and muttered. Oddly, I recalled a comment of my mother's, "Beware when a man mumbles". I'd laughed at the time but now I just knew there was something wrong. What the marks were still didn't occur to me and since I thought we had always been open with each other I pressed him. I was interested and cared! That's what hurts. I cared and then he threw this back at me. I still can't bring myself to use the words he stuttered out. Harmless, he claimed, but how would you feel if you were sure your husband had been trying on your personal things? The marks? They were from bra shoulder straps that were too tight! Not to mention some sort of waist clincher. To give him shape, he said. He's always been so normal and suddenly I find he's a pervert and has been visiting some place where he's been dressing up. It gives me the shivers just thinking about it. The marriage guidance counsellor said I mustn't get emotional? How would you feel if there was that niggling uncertainty your husband wanted to be a woman. And act like a woman?   I sent him off to sleep in the spare room. I couldn't bear to have him near me. Then I began to wonder. I'm a normal girl. I like my bit of fun and fantasise with the best of them, but the thought I've been engaged, unwittingly, in a lesbian thing during our married life gives me the creeps...  
  It's not knowing him that upsets me. He's had a secret life all these years and heaven knows who he's been with. He's lied about everything. The thought he's been trying on my knickers and bras made me throw them all away. I keep them locked now. What really gets to me is I can't forget him. Is it his feminine side that's made him understanding and what I thought as a best friend and companion as well as being my lover? Have I been in love all these years with a half-woman and that's what attracted me to him? There lies the problem. Not only do I have to face his perversions, but just perhaps I have to face my own sexuality and motivations.   What if it's his female half that attracted me? I have to admit I'm the forceful one of the two of us. They say we women should take control of our lives and bodies and decide for ourselves. Perhaps Bill wants the mirror image of that and wants to be more dependent and passive and the natural extension is to want to be softer and to take on my traditional role. It's disturbing turning all I've taken for granted topsy turvy. He's sworn he's not gay and that he's not been unfaithful to me, but can I believe him? If I do believe him, what do I do? If I make him promise to give it all up, can he? When he broke down and confessed he was clearly very upset and said he didn't think he could give it up. Do I force him back into the clandestine world he's been living in or do I invite 'her' into our home?   'She' definitely can't use anything of mine, but how do I feel about 'her'? Will it be 'Bill' in drag or will she be a real person? I don't know whether I could cope with either, even though I suspect it might be best for Bill. Despite everything, I simply can't bring myself to forget Bill. He's been part of my life for the past ten years and I keep on thinking about that stupid phrase of my mother's, "What's good for the goose is good for the gander".  
  Concessions Bill stood by and supported me when I wanted to go for promotion and took time off work to attend the wives interview, despite being the only male there. I expected him to cope with role reversal for me. It's strange he hasn't argued back like I expected him to. He never mentioned that interview even though they made no concessions to him being the only male and insisted he trailed around with the half dozen wives. Did he enjoy himself more than he admitted? I was told afterwards that my promotion was due to a great extent to the way he handled himself. He's never thrown back at me my comment at the time about the blurring of roles in a modern marriage. Nor has he ever protested about the cooking, shopping and household tasks he takes the greater share of. Yet I expect him to be macho, when it suits me.   I wish I had chosen to ignore those remarks. My questions started something I can't stop now. I must be mad. I've decided to meet Bill's other half and I'm not going to show what I've written to the guidance counsellor. I must try not to laugh if Bill looks silly, but if he wants to dress at home he's going to have to do it properly. If he thinks being a woman is easy, he's going to learn it isn't. In fact, if he wants to do it all, he's going to find out how we suffer to keep our figures and looks. Yes, I want him to suffer for what I'm going through now, but that way we might both get something out of the next six months...

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