May 201809

Letter To Transformation

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Letter To Transformation

Having known for many years that I wanted to be more feminine, I decided to take the plunge and invest in some women’s clothes and underwear. I’m single, live on my own so privacy wasn’t a problem. I have dressed for many years now and always feel amazing when I flounce around in floaty dresses. Last year I decided to take this a step further and called Transformation for advice on hormones as I wanted to experience inner feminine feeling too. Feeling a little nervous I picked up the phone and got through to a lovely lady called Diane. I think she sensed I was nervous and Immediately put my mind at rest that what I was doing was ok and quite normal. Diane explained what I would need to start me on my journey. Oestrogen was needed along with a HRT capsule to give me that extra boost. She also explained that a Testosterone Suppressant would be needed to allow the Oestrogen to have full effect. I must admit that I was a little hesitant about taking the capsules but I spaced them out during the day and within 2 weeks I felt very calm and at one with myself. After my three month course ended I decided to re-order and rang Transformation and spoke to Diane. I now felt that I wanted a little extra boost and wanted to start changing my body a little. I wanted a little plumpness in the chest area and a more hourglass shape along with a more feminine bottom. Diane told me what was needed and put together a course for me with added discount which I was very grateful for. I have now upped the strength of my hormones and I am currently using the Gold range and the results, although slow are very encouraging and I can see and feel the changes in my body. I can’t thank Transformation enough for the help and advice they have given me, I feel a different person and have gained so much confidence about myself. I have even been to their Manchester shop and had a He to She Transformation which was certainly an experience and Diane even popped over to see how I was, was great to meet her. Once again Transformation, huge thanks to you all. Daniel (Danni) Huddersfield

May 201802

What Does It Mean to Be Transgender?

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What Does It Mean to Be Transgender?

Transgender people feel that the gender to which they were born, or assigned at birth, does not fit them. Transgender people include people born female who identify as male (female-to-male) and people born male who identify as female (male-to-female). Transgender people also include people who identify as gender neutral, and/or gender-free—people who may not identify as either male or female. Transsexual people are those who choose to medically transition to the gender that is right for them. Cross-dressers are people who like to wear the clothes of another gender but who don't identify as another gender. You may find yourself identifying with one or more of these definitions pretty strongly or with none of them at all. No one has to rush to self-label, now or ever, and some people choose different labels that express more clearly how they see themselves.

How Do I Know if I'm Transgender?

You may feel that you are more comfortable expressing yourself as a gender other than the gender you were born or assigned at birth. This gender might be the "opposite" of the gender you were born or assigned, or it might be neither male nor female but something else entirely! You may feel extremely uncomfortable with the gender-specific parts of your body. For example, you may have breasts and prefer not to have them. Or, you might not feel uncomfortable with your gender-specific body parts and, at the same time, feel a deep need to have other body parts. You may feel more comfortable relating to people who perceive you as the gender you see yourself. You may simply feel you would be more truly yourself in another gender. People who are transgender may feel any or all of these emotions. Am I Normal? Being transgender is as normal as being alive. Throughout history, many people have felt they were transgender. Transgender people are everywhere. They are teachers, doctors, construction workers, and waiters. They attend college, have children, and enjoy careers. You may interact with other transgender people every day and not know it! Certainly, being transgender is not "typical," and you may encounter many people who do not understand or who feel uncomfortable or even discriminatory. However, you are certainly normal. What Will Happen When I Come Out? Some people feel relieved and happy when they come out. Others feel as if they are thrown into a lion's den, with challenges from parents, friends, and family. You will most likely experience a bit of both. Some transgender youth may face violence at school or in their home. Please, make sure you have people you can talk to before you come out publicly, just for this reason. What Does It Mean to Transition? Should I Do It? Some people who come out as transgender are comfortable telling a close circle of friends. Other people choose to change their name, their pronouns, their style of dress, and their appearance to be congruent with their gender identity. Still others choose to take hormones and have surgery to medically alter their appearance. As you decide which, if any, steps to take, it can help to talk about these feelings with others, such as a mental health professional who is competent with gender identity issues, friends and family members you trust, and other transgender people. You should express yourself the way you feel most comfortable, without pressure from others. Medical transition, the taking of hormones and having one or more surgeries, is a big step. For some, it is absolutely necessary. Most people who choose to transition medically strongly need identity and body to match. They want to be seen all the time and without question, as the gender they feel they are. To medically transition, you must first see a therapist and, in most cases, be diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder. Gay or Straight or What? Being transgender has to do with your gender identity: how you feel about who you are. It has nothing to do with your sexual orientation, which is about who attracts you. Some transgender people are attracted to men, some to women, some to other transgender people, and some to people regardless of their gender. People may define themselves with different labels, depending on who attracts them. For example, some transgender women who are attracted to men define themselves as straight, because they are attracted to the opposite gender. Other transgender women may feel attracted to men and define themselves as queer, to challenge the notion of "opposite" genders. Regardless of who attracts you, rest assured that many transgender people have happy, healthy relationships with people whom they love. Remember, you deserve to date people who respect you for who you are. Transgender people can have a hard time finding safer sex information that speaks in language that reflects how they feel about their body. Because many may feel that their biological body doesn't reflect their gender identity, they may use different terms for body parts. Finding information that corresponds to an internal/emotional body concept can be difficult. No matter how transgender youth label sexual body parts, some or all of the following tips apply to each: How Do I learn to Like Myself? If you have just discovered or recognised that you are transgender, remember that you are normal and you are likeable, just as you are. With big discoveries come big life changes, and it is normal to feel nervous, apprehensive, and upset about the days ahead. Remember, too, that discovering something this important about yourself can be a truly amazing experience. You are one step ahead on the journey of discovering who you truly are, and with that journey, the world becomes full of possibilities as well as challenges.

Apr 201825

The Right Corset

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The Right Corset

First and foremost, you need to find the right corset for you.We're talking about style here- if you like to wear bright colors but end up with a black corset, something has gotten off-track! So the first consideration in the search is to determine what style of corset would suit you best. There are two main styles, overbust and underbust. An overbust corset covers the chest, and is better for those with a small to medium bust. Well-endowed women tend to have difficulty finding overbust corsets that will accomodate them in a flattering way (unless they get one custom-made), and the lift provided creates great cleavage for those with smaller chests. If you're looking for an extremely accentuated waist or are more curvaceous, an underbust corset can be ideal. They fall just below the bustline, and cinch in all the soft parts under the ribcage. I also find this style to be a little more versatile as far as putting together outfits, but that's simply a personal decision. Evaluate what you might want to pair the corset with and plan accordingly.

1- Colour and Material

It's best to pick a neutral corset for your first one- black is always a go-to in my closet. There's always something that will go with black! It's also important to find a material you are happy with- satins and brocades are a good jumping off point, but if you like a more extreme, eye-catching look, by all means- go for the vinyl or leather! It's all about what you're comfortable with. And don't worry- where there's one corset, there will usually be more. You can always add to your collection!

Get the Right Fit

Corsets, at least the good steel-boned kind, don't usually come in the standard sizes of small, medium, and large. They run by waist measurement, so you'll want to take your natural waist measurement and subtract 2 to 4 inches. Corsets are meant to stay open a bit in the back so if you can easily close yours all the way, you will want to go down a size! Remember that it should be tight, but you should still be able to breathe (although yawning in a corset is certainly an unusual feeling, as the diaphragm cannot expand as far as normal, making the intake of air for a yawn nigh impossible).

Plan Your Outfit

There's nothing quite like knowing you have the perfect outfit. This does, however, take a bit of planning, and you'll need to lay out your outfit in full before you even start to get dressed. I've found this out the hard way repeatedly, and have become a strict adherent of the rules: -In almost every occasion, the corset is the VERY last thing you put on. -Seriously. Go put your face on, do your hair, put on your shoes- everything else comes first! -The only exception is if you are wearing your corset under your clothing- say, under a dress. In that case, put on everything except the articles to be worn over the corset, yes, including shoes. Don't forget that if you are wearing your cincher as a foundation piece, you do need to wear a camisole or other light garment between it and your skin. These things are tight, and can rub sometimes- plus, a cami will keep your corset cleaner longer.

Lace it right

This isn't like lacing up a tennis shoe, so you'll need to check that the lacing is done properly. The most common way involves lacing bottom to top, with the tie for the laces being at the smallest point of the waist. To really cinch you down, the top loop of the bow should tighten the bottom of the corset, and the bottom loops should tighten the top. There are other ways to lace up as well, and you may need to change the setup if, say, you're wearing the clincher under a dress so the knot won't show. Whichever way you tighten up, proper lacing will ensure your corset stays snug and looking amazing.

Mar 201828

How Kids Cope With A Sex-change Parent

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How Kids Cope With A Sex-change Parent When the children of former plasterer Anthony Hamilton Smith stopped calling him “Dad”, he was overjoyed. But they really didn’t have much choice-because they’d watched their father slowly change into a woman. No longer Dad and definitely not Mum, Jay 13, Melanie 8 and Louise 5 decided to call him plain “Toni”. That choice of name might sound like a minor problem, but for the delighted parent it represented an important breakthrough in gaining the kid’s understanding. For a minefield of human emotions lied ahead for any family as it comes to terms with a father or mothers sex change. But experts believe that children show remarkable maturity in dealing with this bizarre experience. Consultant psychiatrists, who treat patients at Britain’s leading Sex Change Clinic at London’s Charing Cross hospital says “Children cope very well, although there may be embarrassment or social inhibitions for some. Surprisingly there is very little disturbance”. Toni, 34, is certain she did the right thing in fighting-and winning-custody of the children in a historic ruling after a two year legal tussle with former wife Carol. “I am a her now and not a he” she says, bustling around her three bedroom house in Ebbw Vale, South Wales. Trying to slot into the role of a normal housewife, she realises an emotional crisis could rear its head at any time especially with Melanie and Louise. “I know that I will have difficult problems, especially when they reach adolescence” she says “but I’m sure my own experience will help me to cope. Because of what has happened to my body I’ll be able to understand more than most fathers what the girls are going through. I’ll be in a better position than most mums in warning the girls about certain types of boys” she says. But the problem remains more widespread than we might imagine with over 1,000 people in Britain suffering serious confusion about their sexual identity. Nonetheless, in a traumatic world of gender benders the case of Toni Hamilton Smith shows there can be a happy ending!!!!

Mar 201828

My First Time Visiting Bath

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My First Time Visiting Bath

I have been a secret cross dresser for many years but have only recently developed sufficient confidence to walk out in public. Fortunately I have the support of my wife who has been a big help in getting the look right. After much trial and error, I finally have an outfit I feel confident in. We both enjoy our occasional weekends away which combine a short out of season break with an opportunity for me to cross dress. I have found that the easiest places to walk out are busy city streets in the early evening. The Christmas shopping period is particularly good because people rush about a lot and don’t take too much notice of passers-by. The city of Bath is an ideal choice because it bustles with shoppers and tourists and has many streets with interesting window shopping. The narrow pavements and cobble stones provide a real sense of satisfaction when walking in high heels but make sure the shoes are well broken in first!! The Saturday morning was spent on conventional shopping and used to acquaint ourselves with the layout of the roads and car parks. This is important because it gives confidence and helps minimise the stress of actually going out later in a strange area. Fortunately Bath has a large street level car park with many screening hedges which provides an ideal starting point. At the end of the morning we returned to our lovely old hotel near Bath which fortunately has some rooms in converted stables. This make it easy to dress in the late afternoon and walk straight to the car in daylight. A quick glance is sufficient to ensure none of the staff are about. There is no need to worry too much about other guests as they are mostly out that time of day. Once in the car we joined the anonymous local traffic for the return journey to Bath. The car journey is never a problem, as in the grey light of autumn it is virtually impossible to read a cross dresser through a car window. By the time we got back to Bath is was just going dark, but there were still plenty of shoppers about and fortunately a good selection of spaces on out chosen car park. After a few nervous moments we got out of the car to buy a parking ticket and then walked towards the shops. I usually walk round with my wife not far away in case of trouble, but sometimes I walk by myself while she goes into a shop. On this occasion I had built up enough confidence in my latest outfit to actually risk going into a shop for the first time. We had selected Marks and Spencer for the trial run and my secret ambition was to try on a pair of shoes I had seen earlier. The store was very brightly lit and I felt rather nervous. At first we stayed on the ground floor where there were many tall stands to give more cover. After a few minutes I felt more confident and we ventured upstairs to look at the lingerie. The upstairs was more open and had fewer people around so I felt more exposed but still felt confident. I then wanted to try the ultimate test and visit the shoe department. As I headed along the open gangway to the shoe area I was immediately ‘read’ by a chap who was standing there waiting for his wife. He had the time for a long leisurely look and as I walked towards him he discreetly pointed me out to his wife. After a momentary glance at the shoes I made a rather swift about turn and headed back to the stairs and out into the safety of the street. In many ways the chap in Marks and Spencer had done me a favour. The next day I felt strangely relaxed from the experience. At last I had tested my outfit and discovered its limitations. I am no longer hiding behind my own mirror image, but real world experience. I don’t yet know where the weakness is, but it gives me something to work on and an ambition to try and achieve a totally convincing look. The hard part is knowing what to try next. I think I will invest in another Transformation Changeaway and try to pick up a few tips. Certainly the make-up could be further refined, perhaps a more feminine walk is required or maybe I somehow looked tense and did not smile enough. I think the real problem is to strike a balance between looking totally convincing, but at the same time sufficiently conventional as to avoid a long and searching look. I hope my experience gives others the courage to walk out for the first time. Remember to use the crowd as your friend and to walk along with everyone else. The more people there are milling about the less conspicuous you become!!!!!

Mar 201821

A Letter - Explaining your Choices

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I still feel guilty that your mum and I separated and that she and I still don’t talk to each other. I know how painful the separation was for you, and I am grateful that you are still in my life. But now I feel I am going to cause you even further heartache and confusion when I tell you that I am transgender and hope to begin living full-time as a woman very soon. Indeed, I already live most of my life as a woman – I have even transitioned within my workplace – and I go about my daily business as a woman. The only times I have to pretend I am a man are the days and weekends when you come to visit. So, for one day a week, and every second weekend, I hide away my clothes and my makeup and anything that might lead you to suspect, and pretend to be someone I am not. Yes, I have grown my hair long and I have had my ears pierced – which you found amusing, if not remarkable. After all, there are plenty of men with long hair and pierced ears. So, why haven’t I told you yet? The truth is that I am scared. I am scared of how you might react. I am scared of how your mum will react and what she might say about me. But, most of all, I am scared that you might not want to see me any more and that might just break my heart. It has not been easy to get where I am. Believe me, I tried every which way I could think of to avoid it, but there came a point where I could no longer deny who I was. I never meant for any of this to happen, but I hope you understand that I need to be me I started seeing a counsellor and then I started the process of coming out to the people in my daily life: my friends, my colleagues, my GP, my employer. And yet you, the most important people in my life, don’t know. I hope you don’t think it is because I consider you the least important – quite the opposite. It is because I have left the most difficult task until last. With any luck, I will soon be put on hormone blockers and, after a few months of that, I will begin hormone treatment. My physical appearance will begin to change to match the image that my brain has of me. I have never been comfortable in my body – is anyone? But, with me, it is a constant buzz at the back of my brain from the minute I get up in the morning to the minute I go to sleep at night. I avoid mirrors as much as possible and I loathe my traitorous body that produces so much testosterone. I know that this will be hard for you to understand, but I am hoping that, some day, when you are old enough, you will be able to read this and maybe it will go a little way towards helping you to understand. I never meant for any of this to happen, but I hope you understand that I need to be me. I can’t go on living a lie and being deeply unhappy. You are all different ages, so that makes it much more difficult to know what to tell each of you and when. All I know is that you must be told – and soon. No matter what happens, no matter how I look, no matter what clothes I wear, I am – and will always be – your dad. Dad xxxx

Mar 201807

Top Tips For Beauty

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Top Tips For Beauty

Lips

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Top Tips For BeautyLips[/caption] 1 – turn lipstick into lipgloss by adding lip balm after applying the colour 2- Put lip and eye pencils in the fridge before you sharpen them so make them less fragile 3- Double up your lipliner to fill in your lips as well as outlining them 4- To prevent lipstick getting on your teeth put your finger in your mouth, purse your lips and pull it out 5- Dusting a little loose powder over your lipstick will help it stay on longer

Eyes

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Top Tips For BeautyEyes[/caption] 1 – Eyeshadow can double up as liner if you apply it with a damp cotton bud 2- Use a little green eyeshadow on red lids 3 – turn ordinary mascara into the lash lengthening variety by dusting your eyelashes with a little powder first 4- stand dried up mascara in a glass of warm water to bring it back to life 5- if your mascara clogs use a small brush instead

Nails

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Top Tips For Beauty[/caption] 1-Revive dried up polish by adding a few drops of nail polish remove 2- Prevent air bubbles by rolling the bottle between your palms to mix it up 3- Make it last longer by adding a clear top coat 4 - Run a dab of vasaline around the neck of a new bottle and it should be easy to open forever ! 5 - In a hurry ? Dry it off quickly with a blast from your hairdryer

Eyebrows

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Top Tips For Beauty[/caption] 1-When plucking, coat the hair you want to keep with concealer as it will help you visualise the shape you want better 2- Use a clean toothbrush to slick unruly brows into place 3- Hold an ice cube over the brow to stop it from hurting 4 – A little foundation lightly rubbed through your eyebrows and brushed through with a toothbrush will lighten them 5 – If you don’t dare shape them at least get rid of the long hairs

Complexion

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Top Tips For Beauty[/caption] 1 – if you’ve run out of blusher dot a bit of pink lipstick on your cheeks and blend well 2- Sweep a little loose powder under your eyes when applying dark shades of eye shadow to catch any falling specks which will spoil the effect 3- Always use a cosmetic sponge to apply foundation 4 – If you put too much blusher on tone it down with loose powder over the top until you’re happy with the shade 5-Choose a foundation one shade darker than your skin tone Shop All Our Cosmetics Here

Feb 201828

A Day In The Life Of A Transformation Customer Service Girl

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“Good morning, Transformation, Beverley speaking, how can I help you” this is how we start our day Monday to Friday. There will always be a friendly voice on the other end of the phone, someone to advise and listen to you without judging you. Having worked for Transformation for the last 16 years, I know how nerve racking that first phone call can be. You are speaking to a complete stranger regarding your gender and confiding in a person you have never met. Take a deep breath and tell us all about yourselves, how you feel, what changes you are hoping for and we will help and advise you all we can. Not only do I take orders over phone, I also pack them giving you the customer that personal touch. New customers will receive a £25.00 voucher with their first order which can be spent with their next order and we will always make you aware of all our special offers by post and/or email. If you don’t want to receive postal mail we won’t send you any promotions as we respect your privacy. Everyday is different at Transformation HQ, we thrive on challenges and making all our customers happy with the information we give them and the products we send them. We have a great Face Book page which has lots of information and offers and will answer any emails with-in 30 minutes of you sending them. I also check the Facebook page over the weekend and will answer any email as fast as I can.

Feb 201828

You Can't Fight It So Accept It

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You Can't Fight It So Accept It

I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist, so what gives me the qualifications to write about transvestism? I write purely from experience, having been a heterosexual transvestite for many years. I first discovered the pleasure that cross dressing gave me during my early twenties, when I Secretly donned some of my wife’s underwear. The effect was immediate and resulted in an Uncontrolled ejaculation, which in turn left me with a feeling of guilt and disgust. However, the desire to wear women’s clothes became so great that these secret flights of fancy continued whenever the opportunity arose. Also I had become more adventurous and had purchased some clothing of my own: these of course Had to be hidden, and so deceitfulness was added to my list of sins. Over the next ten years I was becoming increasingly frustrated by the enforced limited duration, And lack of opportunities, for my trips into my alter ego. Also I was becoming increasingly guilty of keeping the whole secret from my wife. So I Decided to tell all, naively hoping she would understand and allow me to ‘dress’ at Any time in the house. It obviously comes as a great shock for a wife to discover that her husband likes To prance about in ladies undies. She did, however, agree to give it a try and I dressed Myself in a skirt and jumper and a pair of mule slippers. At this time I used neither A wig nor make-up and I realise now what a bizarre sight I must have presented. It clearly was not going to work, and if continued it would obviously cause a A normal healthy life-if only I had known then what I know now. During the next twelve months or so I became more and more irritable and unreasonable Until eventually I suffered a near nervous breakdown, confessed all to my doctor and finished Up in the psychiatric ward of the local hospital. All this eventually cost me my job and my marriage. I will skip briefly over the next forty odd years of my life, only to say I did marry again, but this time I told my wife of my transvestite tendencies before our marriage. Dressing On the whole it was a very happy partnership in all respects, my ‘dressing’ continued but not in My wife’s presence, and by arranging for her to have the odd week or two away on holiday now And again, the frustration was contained. Though there were many times when I felt I must get away, the love of my wife stopped me. My wife recently died and I now live alone which gives me the opportunity to ‘dress’ all day, three or four days a week, within the confines of my home. I have braved the Outside world on a couple of occasions in the past, but only for a few hours and much as I would like to live completely as a woman, at seventy years of age I feel the disruption to my life would be too great. So, having spent about fifty years seeing doctors and psychiatrists, taking tablets, considering suicide and doing other daft things, I offer the following as a possible aid to understanding transvestism , facing up to it and removing some of the guilt and shame you may feel in succumbing to your sexual fantasies; I hope it is of some help. What determines our personality? Our gene’s, our upbringing, our experiences, our environment, all Play a part in determining the type of person we are. A traumatic experience can change our Outlook on life but it is our basic personality or character, call it what you will, that determines Our reaction to these things. To life in general, others are more submissive, and given the same environment and upbringing Will react differently to the same set of circumstances. The point is: there are a number of Inborn basic characteristics that do not change irrespective of any other outside influences, They merely determine our reaction to them. Our sex is determined by our genes, so why Should our sexuality not also be determined by some other factor in our genes, making us Either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. I do not believe that one becomes homosexual Or bisexual as a result of some outside influence. Carry this theory a little further and consider the cartoon character who believes he is Napoleon, or the Elvis fan who dresses as and mimics his idol. These are fanatics who so Worship their idol that they want to be that person. It is an inborn need to become the Object of their desire, lets say the ‘wannabe factor’ BINGO you have a perfect recipe for A transvestite. Are we abnormal? In terms of what is socially acceptable, yes we are abnormal, though the size of the Mail order and personal shopping market that thrives on us indicates we are fairly Large percentage of the population. We were born with a deformity, (yes I do believe the problem is genetic) as others are born with physical or mental disabilities. While they are partially accepted into society, depending on the degree of their disability, we Don’t fit into a convenient slot and society, on the whole, does not know how to deal With us. We are an embarrassment and therefore become the subject of snide jokes, ignored In the hope we go away or, in extreme cases, hounded out of town. Unless you are fortunate enough to have the right stature and features and can pass Fairly easily as a female, it means the only outlet for us is in the confines Of our home- we must not be found out, we would become an outcast. Should we feel guilt or shame? Providing what we do harms no other person, either physically or mentally, there Should be no rational reason for felling guilty. Neither should we feel ashamed of what We are, but unfortunately we feel ashamed of other people’s perceptions of us. Should we have the courage to ‘come out’ as many do and eventually become, if not totally accepted, tolerated, our guilt and shame would disappear. But this is the real world and unless you are fortunate enough to be able, physically, To pass as a women then the stress and strain of continually being looked upon As a freak may mean we have traded in one set of problems, only to be confronted With another. I’m sure we all often feel the frustration of having to limit our activities to the confine Of our home and would dearly love to ‘come out’ and damn the consequences. If only we could be found out and the decision made for us, life would be so much easier. But beware, speaking from experience I can tell you that unless you intend to go all the way Being accidently found out only compounds the problem and you can be left with the task Of having to rebuild your life. My advice to any of you having my courage to ‘come out’ Is, do it sooner than later, it will never get easier. I can look back to when I was about five or six and remember the fascination I had with Young ladies and girls, which of course, could be said to be quite normal. But I can See that what I felt was different. I seemed to envy their femininity. What must be appreciated is that although cross dressing is something from which we Derive great sexual pleasure, which if it culminates in masturbation or intercourse can be Satisfied to the extent that the urge to do so is reduced temporarily, it will return in a Relatively short space of time. The major part of your life is dominated by this desire for femininity and I can Assure you it does not go away. The intensity may diminish to some extent but the ability To obtain some respite is also diminished as we become less virile, (the pain is still there But the painkillers are less effective). If my sex drive was reduced to zero I would still Want to be a woman. I am afraid we must all find our own salvation, some may be lucky and Find a satisfactory solution, but whatever you do, try to obey the following:-

The golden rule. Don’t harm other person, either physically or mentally.
Know yourself and be honest with yourself.
Don’t feel guilt/shame; accept yourself for what you are
Don’t marry unless you find a partner who is prepared to accept you
If you do decide to come out and/or have the op do it sooner.

The compulsion to ‘dress’ transcends all other considerations and this is where we must Be careful that our actions do not have a damaging effect on our lives, or on the lives Of those dearest to us. In these circumstances the quick temporary solution is, to put it bluntly, Masturbation. But this is not what we want, we want to savour the feeling of being dressed As a woman and we want the feeling to last, not suppress it. It is in these moments of almost fanatical desire to satisfy our obsession that one must Be thankful that we are neither rapists or paedophiles. These people are obviously driven by an uncontrollable urge to act in the way they do, Unfortunately their actions have a serious effect on other peoples lives and therefore They must be forcibly restrained from the ability to do so. Thinking along these lines, and no doubt we all do at times, can make us feel what a thin Line we tread between the obscene and the deviate. Much as we rightly revile the actions Of these people, we have a far better understanding of the emotions that drive them to commit Their acts. Do not despair or castigate yourself for having this affliction, and affliction it is; at least We can live a normal life in all other respects and the worst that can happen is we Become the object of ridicule.

Feb 201814

The Actress

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The Actress

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The Actress[/caption] The Actress is a short story for you to enjoy. “OK, that’s enough for the day, see you all next Week” the director called form her seat in the Front row of the theatre. Paul sighed and made to Follow the other actors off stage. The rehearsals for the play were not going well and he Knew that he was primarily to blame. He knew too that His friendship with the director would not prevent him From losing his job if he did not improve quickly. “Paul, could I speak to you for a minute” as if divining his Thoughts Sarah called him from where she was sat in the stalls in the Front of the stage. “What’s the problem?” she asked when he pushed down the seat Next to her and lowering himself dejectedly into it. He made no pretence of not knowing what she was talking about. “I Just can’t identify with the part” he told her honestly, “it doesn’t Work for me.” “You know how important your roll is. The audience have to Believe that you really are a woman up to the final act, not just a man in drag. [caption id="attachment_3350" align="alignleft" width="150"]

The Actress[/caption] Paul looked at her without speaking. Any other director would Have sacked him already and he honestly could not blame her if That’s what she decided to do now. “I’m going to give you one week to get this right or I’ll have to get Someone else”, she told him. “But I think you are going to need Some radical help” “What do you mean?” Paul asked. He was happy to have been Given another week and was willing to listen to anything that she Might suggest. “I think it might help if you were to live as a woman for a while. That’s the only way I can think that you are going to learn to fit the role and be convincing.” Paul stared at her in disbelief, but he saw immediately from her Determined expression that she was not joking.” “I can’t do that.” He rejected the suggestion, “It wouldn’t work” “That’s up to you to decide,” Sarah said standing up. “Really its A question of how badly you want this part. And if you are a Good enough actor to play the part then you will make it work.” She got up then and started walking along the aisle towards The exit. Paul stared after her and knew instinctively that she Had washed her hands of him. She had questioned his Commitment and challenged his ability. After that it was up To him. He had one week in which to prove that he was right For the part or else he would be out of a job. “Wait.” He shouted and ran after her, “I’ll need help.” She turned back to him and to his relief she smiled and told Him that she had known he would see sense and that she had Every confidence in him. This slight praise was a welcome Boost to Paul’s dented confidence and he readily agreed to Call at her house early the following day. He arrived at her home early the next morning and a heavy knot of Apprehension filled his stomach as he pressed the door bell. While he was keen to keep the part in the play and recognised that he Did need to do something to improve his performance, He felt nervous about the idea of actually trying to live as a woman. “Right, upstairs with you and into the bath.” She said when she opened the door. It was obvious that she was intent on taking charge from the start And was not going to give him the opportunity to chicken out. [caption id="attachment_3347" align="alignleft" width="150"]

The Actress[/caption] Sarah led him to the bathroom where she handed him a towel And a tube of depilatory cream. She left him with instructions to Use it on his legs and underarms. Once alone, he filled the bath and lowered himself into the warm water. Leisurely he washed then reached for the tube she had given him. He read the directions then with a sigh of resignation, unscrewed the cap. Hi nose wrinkled at the foul smelling odour as he smeared the Cream on his skin but he waited the recommended length of time Before rinsing it off and drying himself. Sarah was waiting in the bedroom when he finally padded in, A towel wrapped round his hips. He sat on The edge of her bed and watched without comment as she picked Out some clothes for him to wear. “These should fit you well enough,” she said, dropping a Pile of clothing on the bed beside him. “At least they will Do until you buy some of your own.” “Do you not have anything without frills?” Paul asked Picking up a pair of skimpy silk panties edged in lace. “Yes,” Sarah answered patiently, “but there would be little Point in letting you wear something that could be regarded As unisex. The whole idea of this is for you to become as near To a true woman as possible. And women like feminine things.” Realising he had little choice in the matter Paul dropped the towel And stepped into the panties. At first the skimpy garment bulged Out ay the front in a very unfeminine manner but at Sarah’s suggestion he tucked his penis back between his Legs and managed to achieve a reasonably acceptable profile. Next Sarah handed him a bra and gingerly he put it on, padding Out the cups with tissues to give himself a more realistic female shape. She nodded her approval and handed him a suspender belt Which he fastened round his waist. The he took the dress she had Chosen for him and pulled it on over his head, reaching for the zip. Paul sat on the bed then and picked up a pair of stockings. Carefully he rolled one up his leg, noticing as he did so how Smooth his hairless skin felt, and fastened it to the straps Of the suspenders. Soon the second leg was similarly covered. “Try these on, they should be your size,” Sarah handed him a pair of Shoes she had borrowed from the props room back at the theatre. They were plain black court shoes with heels and they were a perfect fit. Paul stood up and took a tentative step. The material of the dress brushed Sensuously against his stockinged thighs as he moved and He blushed at the pleasurable thrill this gave him. Balancing precariously on the high heels he tried a few steps. Although he was a little wobbly at first he soon found that so Long as he did not take the long strides he was accustomed to Then he could walk easily enough. “You look great,” Sarah encouraged him, “now come and get some Make-up on.” Obediently Paul went to sit at the dressing table. He knew The basics of using makeup from working on the stage but Did not know the techniques required to give him a natural Feminine appearance. Eager to learn something which may Benefit him professionally, he paid close attention to each Step as Sarah transformed his features. In a matter Of minutes she was satisfied and reached for the wig he was to wear. Placing it on his head he pinned it in place and brushed it into shape. “how do I look,” he asked when Sarah pronounced herself satisfied. “Come and see for yourself,” she suggested, and Paul stepped Over to examine himself in the full length mirror on the back Of the wardrobe door. He was surprised and strangely pleased to see a very attractive young Woman look back at him. The hem of the dress stopped a few Inches above the stockinged knee and he noticed with a certain [caption id="attachment_4198" align="alignleft" width="150"]

The Actress[/caption] Satisfaction that wearing heels gave his lower leg a convincing feminine Appearance. “Well, I Certainly look the part” he observed and smiled At the reflection in the mirror. He felt no embarrassment or Unease at seeing himself dressed as a woman. Only a growing Confidence that he would be able to play the part after all. He turned from admiring his transformation to see Sarah locking the clothes He had worn to come to the house in a cupboard. She locked it with A decisive click and removed the key. “You won’t be needing and male clothes for the rest of the week,” she Stated, “so we may as well put them out of temptation.” Paul did not argue. He needed the part in the play and was grateful That Sarah was giving him this chance. And if he were honest with himself He had to admit that the actor in him was beginning to enjoy The challenge of the masquerade. By lunch time of that first day, however, Paul was disheartened. He had played the part of a woman as well as he could but It had become apparent that feminine gestures and mannerisms Did not come naturally to someone who had lived as a man All his life. He felt awkward and clumsy. “I’ll never be able to do this,” he said dejectedly when Sarah Had to remind him for what seemed like the umpteenth time to smooth his Skirt under his thighs as he sat down. “Of course you will,” she assured him. “The problem at the moment is That you are still trying to act like a woman. You have to relax and become one. Then those small gestures will be natural.” One look at his face told her that drastic measures were necessary to Counter his negativity. “Right we are going shopping this afternoon.” She told him in a voice that brooked no argument, “you need To meet people to gain some confidence, and we need to buy you some Clothes of your own.” Paul felt nervous about being seen in public and it was with growing Trepidation that he followed Sarah out of the house. The heels of his shoes clicked loudly on the pavement as they walked To the bus stop and a light breeze swirled his skirt round his legs. It was a pleasant sensation but it also made him feel vulnerable and Defenceless, and not just through fear of being ‘found out’. He had a sudden insight into how a woman on her own must feel While walking home at night and with it came the realisation that he had Just experienced his first female thought. Their first stop was to buy him a handbag “A women never goes Anywhere without her handbag so you won’t either,” she told him. Paul readily agreed to this as he had quickly found that while wearing A dress he had no where to keep his money or even the key to the house. For someone like him who normally had pockets crammed full of things That he could not live without, the purchase was a necessity. [caption id="attachment_3822" align="alignleft" width="150"]

The Actress[/caption] For the remainder of the afternoon they browsed among the shops fitting Paul out with a complete new wardrobe. He discovered that he enjoyed the Experience. The sales staff were pleasant and treated him as they would Any female customer. And no one suspected that he was anything other Than he appeared to be. “No one suspected at all,” Paul said gleefully to Sarah when they returned home. That night Paul stayed at Sarah’s. She had given him a nightdress to wear And as he slipped it over his head, the flimsy material slid sensuously against His skin. He shuddered with pleasure and climbed into bed. The following morning Paul woke early and picked out what clothes he would wear. He washed then dressed quickly and, without waiting for Sarah to do it for Him, began to put on some makeup. “Not Bad,” she decided when she saw his first attempt, “you are a quick learner.” Paul smiled at the praise and followed her downstairs for breakfast. As it was Sunday they still did not have to go to the theatre but Sarah Insisted that they go out for the day. “It’s important that you get accustomed To being treated as a woman,” she explained. “That’s the only way that you will Really learn what it is to be female.” Paul agreed readily. He was discovering that the longer he spent in female Attire, the more comfortable he felt. It was almost as if his usual weak male Personality had been taken over by a stronger feminine one. The day was an unqualified success. By the time he was curled up once again [caption id="attachment_4201" align="alignleft" width="150"]

The Actress[/caption] In his borrowed nightdress he had complete confidence in the female Side of his personality. “Are you nervous?” Sarah asked as he put on makeup the following Morning. “Not at all” he told her, and he realised it was true. As a man he always suffered from Stage fright to some degree but as a woman he felt more confident. “Okay, thanks everyone, that’s it for today.” Sarah called from her seat in the stalls. “Paul, could I have a word before you go?” Paul walked gracefully to the side of the stage where he carefully negotiated The narrow steps. “They weren’t made for anyone wearing heels,” he thought As he came across to where Sarah was sitting. He pushed down the theatre seat With one hand while the other brushed his skirt against his thighs, then sat down. Sarah noted with a smile that the action had been done without conscious thought. “You did well today,” she told him, “there is no doubt that you can do it, But I think you should still practise for the rest of the week. You don’t want To risk getting complacent at this stage.” Paul agreed and for the next four days lived entirely as a woman. Each day He became more confident and his acting improved accordingly. “You’ll be trying to take over the show soon,” she joked as they ate a celebratory Dinner together at home on Friday evening. “That’s the idea,” he agreed with a very unmasculine giggle. “Well it took drastic measures but you stuck it out. I expect you will be glad To get your own clothes back.” Paul looked across the table at the woman who had become his friend And sipped his wine to avoid answering. “Well, you will, won’t you?” She persisted. “I’ve been thinking…….” Paul began “Yes?” she prompted him. “Well, it’s just that since I have been such a success this week, I thought that I Might continue to live like this for a while. At least until the play is finished.” Sarah stared at him for a long moment then slowly smiled as she Understood what he was saying. “Just until the play is over?” she questioned In a teasing tone. Paul grinned widely at her, grateful that she understood. “Perhaps,” he answered.

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